Transmuting Pain into Art | Tiffany Dawn Hasse | TEDxMissionViejo

Summary

El guion de video ofrece una visión íntima y poética de la lucha con el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC). A través de la poesía y el arte del desempeño, el narrador comparte su experiencia vivida, incluyendo la terapia y las tácticas para enfrentar pensamientos obsesivos. La narrativa destaca la transformación personal y la búsqueda de la verdad en medio de la incertidumbre, enfatizando la importancia de la autoaceptación y la conexión con el dolor como pasos hacia la sanación.

Takeaways

• 🎭 El script es una expresión artística y personal sobre la experiencia de vivir con el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC).
• 🔄 El hablante describe su lucha diaria con pensamientos obsesivos que lo llevan a comportamientos compulsivos, como lavar las manos o reorganizar objetos.
• 🤔 El TOC se presenta con pensamientos que parecen tener lógica, pero que en realidad son irracionales y provocan ansiedad.
• 🏠 El hablante comparte situaciones cotidianas que desencadenan sus pensamientos obsesivos, como pasar por el horno o usar un retrete público.
• 🐀 El miedo a las ratas y la ansiedad por objetos que se asemejan a ratas, como un cable USB, son ejemplos de pensamientos obsesivos específicos.
• 📚 El hablante menciona haber trabajado con médicos de alto nivel y haber seguido tratamientos convencionales sin obtener alivio completo.
• 🧘 La terapia de exposición y prevención de respuestas (ERP) es una técnica utilizada para tratar el TOC, que implica exponerse a las situaciones que provocan ansiedad sin realizar las acciones compulsivas.
• 🍫 Un ejemplo de tarea terapéutica mencionado es la de poner chocolate sobre las piernas y aceptar la incertidumbre del resultado.
• 📝 El hablante descubre que la poesía y el arte de performance pueden ser formas terapéuticas para canalizar su dolor y ansiedad.
• 🌟 La experiencia de dolor y ansiedad ha sido un catalizador para el crecimiento personal y la búsqueda de nuevas formas de sanación.
• 💬 El script enfatiza la importancia de la identificación y el entendimiento del dolor como un paso hacia la curación y la transformación personal.

Q & A

¿Qué es el trastorno obsesivo-compulsivo (TOC) según la descripción del guion?

El TOC es un trastorno psicológico que causa una constante batalla interna, con pensamientos obsesivos que provocan la necesidad de realizar acciones compulsivas para aliviar la ansiedad, como la limpieza excesiva, la organización extrema y la lavado de manos.

¿Cómo describe el guionista su experiencia personal con el TOC?

El guionista describe su experiencia con el TOC como una lucha constante con sus pensamientos, donde incluso tareas cotidianas se convierten en una fuente de ansiedad y obsesión, y se ve obligado a realizar rituales para calmar sus pensamientos.

¿Qué tipo de terapia se utilizó para tratar el TOC del guionista?

El guionista recibió terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, en la que fue expuesto a sus pensamientos obsesivos para aprender a habituarse a la ansiedad y a las sensaciones incómodas asociadas.

¿Cómo se sintió el guionista durante su proceso terapéutico?

El guionista se sintió frustrado al notar que, a pesar de recibir tratamiento de los mejores médicos y realizar terapia cognitivo-conductual, encontró poco alivio y decidió expresar sus emociones a través de la poesía.

¿Qué papel desempeñó la poesía en el proceso de sanación del guionista?

La poesía y el arte del performance ayudaron al guionista a canalizar su dolor y a encontrar una nueva forma de sanación, transformando su sufrimiento en una expresión artística.

¿Qué esfuerzos hizo el guionista para superar su TOC?

El guionista hizo múltiples intentos de superar su TOC, incluyendo tomar medicamentos, recibir terapia y trabajar con médicos líderes en el campo, antes de encontrar alivio a través de la poesía.

¿Cómo se relaciona el guionista con su propia mente y sus pensamientos durante el TOC?

El guionista describe una relación conflictiva con su mente, donde se siente como si estuviera en un argumento constante consigo mismo y su mente juega el papel del 'Diablo's Abogado', cuestionando constantemente sus acciones y decisiones.

¿Qué estrategias utiliza el guionista para lidiar con sus pensamientos obsesivos?

El guionista utiliza la repetición de palabras y frases como un ritual para calmar su mente, y más tarde descubre que la poesía y el estudio del sonido de las palabras pueden ayudar a disipar sus pensamientos obsesivos.

¿Cómo describe el guionista el impacto del TOC en su vida diaria y relaciones personales?

El TOC ha tenido un impacto significativo en la vida del guionista, causando retrasos, la pérdida de empleo y la renuncia a la universidad, y dificultando su capacidad para mantener relaciones personales saludables.

¿Qué mensaje finaliza el guionista con en su guion?

El guionista finaliza con un mensaje de esperanza y empoderamiento, alentando a los oyentes a conectar con su propio dolor y encontrar sanación, y a reconocer que el dolor en sí mismo puede ser un catalizador para el crecimiento y la transformación.

Outlines

00:00

🎭 Vida con TDAH y la poesía como escape

El primer párrafo presenta al narrador como alguien con TDAH (Trastorno por Déficit de Atención con Hiperactividad) que utiliza la poesía para expresar sus luchas y lecciones de vida. Describe la naturaleza cíclica y constante de sus pensamientos y cómo la poesía le permite canalizar su creatividad y su lucha contra la compulsión de orden y limpieza asociada a su condición. El narrador también introduce la idea de la terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, destacando su experiencia con la fobias y pensamientos obsesivos.

05:01

😨 La realidad del Trastorno Obsesivo Compulsivo

En el segundo párrafo, el narrador profundiza en su experiencia con el Trastorno Obsesivo Compulsivo (TOC), describiendo las sensaciones de ansiedad y la necesidad de realizar rituales para aliviar sus pensamientos obsesivos. Detalla su proceso terapéutico, incluyendo la terapia de exposición y prevención de respuesta, y cómo la terapia le ayudó a enfrentar sus miedos, como la fobia a las ratas y pensamientos absurdos relacionados con el chocolate. El narrador también expresa la frustración y el impacto del TOC en su vida diaria, incluyendo la dificultad para asistir a la universidad y mantener un trabajo debido a sus compulsiones.

10:02

🌟 La transformación del dolor en arte

El tercer párrafo relata cómo el narrador encontró alivio y un sentido de empoderamiento a través de la poesía y el arte. A pesar de haber buscado ayuda médica y terapéutica, el narrador descubrió que la escritura poética le proporcionaba un escape efectivo para sus pensamientos obsesivos. Describe cómo la poesía le ayudó a transmutar su dolor en algo hermoso y terapéutico, y cómo su enfoque en la poesía y el arte le permitió encontrar una nueva forma de sanación y autoexpresión.

15:03

🤯 La lucha interna y la búsqueda de la verdad

En el último párrafo, el narrador reflexiona sobre su lucha interna y la búsqueda de la verdad y la libertad. Explica cómo la poesía le permite desentrañar sus pensamientos y enfrentar su mente, que a menudo se siente como un enemigo. El narrador también hace una llamada a la acción para que los oyentes reconozcan y conecten con su propio dolor, con la esperanza de que puedan encontrar sanación a través de la autocomprensión y la aceptación de la incertidumbre de la vida.

Keywords

💡Obsesivo Compulsivo

Obsesivo Compulsivo (OCD por sus siglas en inglés) es un trastorno de la salud mental caracterizado por pensamientos obsesivos y comportamientos compulsivos. En el video, el narrador describe su experiencia viviendo con OCD, incluyendo la lucha interna con pensamientos que lo llevan a realizar acciones repetitivas, como lavar la mano o revisar el horno, para aliviar su ansiedad.

💡Poesía

La poesía es una forma de expresión artística que utiliza la rima, el ritmo y la metáfora para transmitir emociones y pensamientos. En el script, el narrador encuentra alivio y un medio para expresar su lucha con el OCD a través de la poesía, transformando su dolor en una forma de arte y comunicación.

💡Hipnosis

La hipnosis es un estado de concentración profunda y alterada de la conciencia. En el contexto del video, el término se utiliza metafóricamente para describir cómo el OCD tiene un control hipnótico sobre la mente del narrador, limitando su libertad y provocando comportamientos compulsivos.

💡Catarsis

La catarsis es el proceso de liberación de emociones intensas a través del arte o la expresión. El narrador del video encuentra catarsis a través de la poesía, utilizandola como un medio para liberarse del sufrimiento causado por el OCD y compartir su historia con los demás.

💡Pain

El dolor, en el sentido emocional y físico, es una experiencia profunda que el narrador del video asocia con su lucha contra el OCD. El dolor se presenta como un catalizador para el crecimiento personal y la búsqueda de sanación, motivando al narrador a expresar sus experiencias a través de la poesía.

💡Transformación

La transformación se refiere a un cambio significativo en la forma, la función o la apariencia de algo. En el video, el narrador habla sobre la transformación del dolor en poesía, demostrando cómo el sufrimiento puede ser convertido en algo constructivo y terapéutico.

💡Autoexpresión

La autoexpresión es el acto de comunicar o manifestar los pensamientos y emociones personales. El narrador utiliza la poesía como una forma de autoexpresión para compartir sus luchas y experiencias con el OCD, permitiéndole a la audiencia comprender mejor su realidad.

💡Ansiedad

La ansiedad es un estado emocional de inquietud o preocupación. En el script, la ansiedad está intrínsecamente ligada al OCD y se manifiesta a través de pensamientos obsesivos que provocan comportamientos compulsivos, como la necesidad de verificar constantemente si el horno está apagado.

💡Terapeute

Un terapeuta es un profesional que ayuda a las personas a abordar problemas emocionales o psicológicos. En el video, el narrador menciona haber trabajado con terapeutas para enfrentar su OCD, utilizando técnicas como la exposición y prevención de respuestas para tratar de reducir sus síntomas.

💡Identidad

La identidad personal se refiere a la percepción que una persona tiene de sí misma y cómo se relaciona con el mundo. El OCD del narrador amenaza su sentido de identidad al hacerle cuestionar su propia mente y cuerpo, y el video explora cómo la poesía ayuda a reafirmar su identidad a pesar de su condición.

💡Catarsis

Como se mencionó anteriormente, la catarsis es una liberación emocional que se logra a través de la expresión artística. Es importante destacar que en el video, la poesía actúa como una forma de catarsis para el narrador, permitiéndole procesar y superar el sufrimiento asociado con el OCD.

Highlights

The speaker uses a poetic and metaphorical language to describe their experiences with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

The concept of 'syncopate lifelong lessons' suggests a rhythmic and patterned approach to understanding the complexities of OCD.

The speaker's vivid imagery of 'hexagons and platypus eclectic selective concepts' illustrates the disordered thinking associated with OCD.

A detailed account of the daily struggles with OCD, including the constant internal dialogue and the feeling of being in an argument with oneself.

The use of 'The Devil's Advocate' as a metaphor for the intrusive thoughts that characterize OCD.

A personal anecdote about the fear of a rat's tail, highlighting the irrational fears that can be associated with OCD.

The description of the therapy process, including exposure and response prevention therapy, and its role in managing OCD.

The unique therapy assignment of pouring chocolate on the thighs to confront irrational fears head-on.

The speaker's realization that OCD thoughts can be bizarre and unrelated, yet still cause significant distress.

The impact of OCD on the speaker's life, including the challenges of explaining the disorder to others and the social consequences.

The speaker's decision to use poetry and performance art as a form of self-expression and healing from OCD.

The transformative power of pain and the speaker's journey from suffering to finding a creative outlet for their experiences.

The importance of being open to different solutions and the speaker's encouragement to others to find their own path to healing.

A final poem that encapsulates the speaker's ongoing struggle with OCD and their hope for a better understanding and acceptance.

The speaker's reflection on the unpredictability of OCD and the constant search for certainty in an uncertain world.

The metaphor of 'walking tiptoe in the squalor' to describe the precariousness of living with OCD.

The final lines of the poem, which pose a question to a higher power about the nature of life and the role of free will.

Transcripts

[Music]

I'm cinematically SLE and insinuate my

truth

within so I syllabify my past Endeavors

just to syncopate these lifelong lessons

lingering Lucid a verbiage tree derived

in me where poems began

to percolate so recklessly dropped out

this spout so subjectively hexagons and

platypus eclectic selective Concepts

that may appear as reciprocals sounds

like esoteric cryptic pools of

whirlwinds and tail spins and gadgets

and gizmos of

Plenty you want thing a

Bobs I got 20,000 ideas right now I'd be

a lot SA is a face painted clown clown

clown as a face painted

clown and good old mother nature allows

me to sip this coffee ethically Source

nurture grounded in the earth parched

but perch so I can finally rest my legs

disperse these words that leak as

perspired watercolor droplets speak in

different demeanors of DEC that

hypocrates may have subscribed to with

his medicinal care package of anecdotal

earned Class Act half apple cider half

metaphysical propt is long lasting

visceral

inward unlearned

knowledge so pay

attention because now I'm going to begin

what I really want to

say I am not my

mind and my

body is only an arbitrary design

inclined to lead me to deceitfully

believe that it too is

me when things thinking about the topic

of obsessive compulsive disorder I want

you to think about the thoughts that

come to your

mind handwashing

perhaps color coding your

hangers extensive

cleaning an over organized in well-kept

room you know most days I can't even

begin to describe what it's actually

like living with obsessive compulsive

disorder imagine a mind that if you say

left well then it says

right I constantly feel like I'm in an

argument with

myself it's like I'm putting my car in

drive but I'm going in

reverse see my mind loves to play The

Devil's Advocate and its favorite

question in the world is what

if when I'm in my house and I pass by

the stove I worry what if I carelessly

forgot to turn off the the stove I would

hate to be responsible for burning down

my

apartment when I go to get dressed I'm

about to zip up my pants but see my

zipper gets

stuck and I worry it doesn't feel right

could something bad happen to my

mom I'm at the mall and I have to use

the public restroom and I am disgusted

with the fact that there are pee drops

on the toilet

seat the first thing that I tell myself

is is you're in sterile I repeat is

urine sterile cuz see my mind is telling

me that if I'm in close proximity to

someone else's urine then I'm going to

get a

disease typing up a paper for school and

in my peripheral vision I noticed the

computer USB cord I instantaneously jump

out of my seat was that a rat

tail so let me just tell you guys real

quick that I have this huge like phobia

of rats and mice so for me a computer

cord is a rat tail close enough so in

order to be okay I have to remove the

cord from its socket multiple times and

repeat cord cord cord cord cord hoping

that my brain will accept what it

sees I remember this time I was 8 years

old and my dad went to kiss me goodbye

for school wishing me a lovely day and

that day he had like a two-day Scruff

like he didn't shave and his facial hair

touched my soft eight-year-old skin and

the first thing my eight-year-old mind

told me was what if my dad's facial

Scruff transferred onto my cheek and

imputed hair growth in my

skin crippled by the fact that I could

have a beard as an

8-year-old I continued to scrutinize my

face in the

mirror nearly a decade later I entered

an obsessive compulsive outpatient

program working with some of the top

doctors in the nation who had

specifically studied the nature of OCD

and they told me that I had to do

exposure and response prevention therapy

and what this essentially meant was that

I needed to be exposed to my bizarre

obsessive thoughts so here's an example

I have this rat phobia so maybe at some

point in my therapy there would be a rat

in a cage in a cage and I would come

closer to it and the idea was that I

would learn to habituate to this anxiety

and this uncomfortable sensation okay

you get the idea so um

basically even though my OCD is not

limited to any one particular

theme at that time one particular theme

that continued to cycle through my mind

was whether or not chocolate if poured

on my

thighs could seep through the epidermal

layers of my skin and make my thighs

bigger now as embarrassing as that sound

sounds can you guys guess what my

therapy assignment was yes it was

literally to buy a bottle of Hershey's

chocolate quite literally pour it on my

thighs in therapy rub it in and sit with

a doubt and uncertainty of not knowing

what was going to

happen these are thoughts that flood my

mind upon

Awakening half the time I know that my

heart doesn't care about these thoughts

but my brain does when I was first

diagnosed with obsessive impulsive

disorder I told a therapist who by the

way had studied at Harvard that I

couldn't possibly have OCD from the

stigma that I understood OCD is for

people that clean organize and wash

their hands so naturally I thought I

didn't have this my thoughts were racing

incessant and caused Great physical and

mental discomfort to me and not only

that my thoughts were not limited to any

one particular theme but rather anything

and everything could somehow trigger my

brain and be come

OCD so my thoughts were so bizarre that

if my OCD demanded that I lick a

doorknob 28 times so that nothing bad

would happen to my family well then

guess who was stuck licking the door

knob knowledge got me nowhere just a

more active mind to

possibility blinking ticking tapping

sounding Out My te so that my brain felt

assuaged repeating sentences repeating

sentences repeating sentences a humbling

disorder

I could hardly swallow my own saliva

without fear of something horrific

taking

place whether my thoughts are the result

of a neurological malfunction or an

active imagination is irrelevant to the

fact that I am still stuck in the pain

of the way these thoughts hit my

brain I dropped out of college

twice medical

leave well how do you explain to your

professor your boss your family and your

friends that you are unable to commit to

a punctual time frame due to checking

rechecking and well checking

again sorry I was late I had to jump up

and down 19 times in a very specific

manner to prevent figments of my

imagination from coming into

fruition over time I realized that the

actual reason as to why I'm late for

things held no validity and that I was

better off telling you that my dog ate

my homework and that's why I couldn't

make it to your wedding than I was

telling you that I had lick a doorknob

28

times the thing with OCD that I think

often goes

unexplained is that if there is a 99%

chance that my perceived obsessive fear

can't happen and a 1% chance that it

might happen well that 1% weighs

everything in my OCD

brain so it's going to debilitate me to

the point where I will be spending 15 to

18 hours a a day trying to find answers

with 100%

certainty If this means that I'm going

to be late for work that I'm going to

lose my job that I'm going to drop out

of college twice that I won't be able to

hang out with my family for the holidays

and this is the grip that this disorder

has on

me I often describe myself to people as

a coaxed puppet on call at any time for

the demands of

OCD seeking certainty in a world that

exists in complete uncertainty forced me

to search for the

truth especially since I was having

physiological effects brain palpitations

and I felt as if I could feel the

phenology of my brain sweating on the

inside as it Panic to metabolize

thoughts so often I feel violated and

threatened by my own mind and unable to

explain to people why I can't move on

and just let the thought

go it's it's a feeling of complete and

utter

powerlessness and it is so contrasting

to my deepest desires of being an

empowered and self-actualized

individual a discovery that has changed

my life and I hope that you will share

with others you meet along the way who

may be suffering in silence is

this just because pain doesn't feel good

doesn't mean it doesn't have value

I know that all of you in this room can

identify with pain cuz we all know what

physical and emotional pain look like

the pain and the humiliation that this

disorder has caused

me has been the Catalyst of my growth

today pain has been so gripping and

threatening to my life that it has

literally ignited a fire in me to write

out my

story let me remind you I'm a person

that was working with the top doctors I

was taking medication for over a decade

and I was doing extensive cognitive

behavioral therapy and still finding

very little

relief so frustrated I decided to jot

down my emotions onto paper and I

couldn't help but

notice that my little tiny dabblings

looked like a poetic rhythmic

flow inspired by the Cadence of the way

words poured out of me I began to study

the ways in which words sounded and

interacted

together my use of Sy tax sentence

layout and phonetics literally helped

dissipate my

OCD it was at that point that I realized

that I had to take my pain and transmute

it or essentially change it into a new

form of healing and for me this has

happened to come in the form of poetry

and performance

art and I want to say that just because

multiple attempts at trying to heal

haven't been successful for you maybe

you've tried other methods to does not

mean that there are not infinite

ulterior Solutions out there for you and

my suggestion is to just be

open you know pain gets a really bad

reputation but pain has been Monumental

in my discovery of self and healing and

pain has allowed me to find

beauty in very dark

spaces

today I take the things that scare me

and I play with these thoughts I tongue

dance with words and I share my story

with you right now in hopes that you too

will identify and connect with the pain

inside of you so that you can find

Healing get to know this pain learn

about this pain this is a part of you

this is transformative you can change

it I'm going to leave you with the final

poem the other night I was feeling kind

of anxious

so I decided to have a cup of

coffee and lately I've noticed that when

my anxiety hits inside my solar plexus

sits a hidden fear no time for Bliss an

enimal fix Sublime

dismiss a dyspeptic itch of Doubt

persists gets me every time tired of

being a puppet mime it always shows up

when I'm not quite align so like a

butler I wait at its beckon call no fate

nor Faith heart

palpitates a Savage thinking A lot's at

stake that's like ball and chain I don't

stake my claim slavery hits and I'm

taking all the shame collecting all the

pain unsound not

sane admit me Mom 5150 me some such

malice makes me sick still stone stuck

and Ill betwix the thrill of safety and

uncertainty such Insidious Insanity a

Purgatory Memoir not complaining but

explaining my War obsessive and

compulsive tumultuous brain lock lies

that are fictitious and this ain't some

dumb cheap pul

fiction or a poem about repeated

cleaning and

handwashing it's superstitious vicious

entirely sick like mischief and I'm

walking tip talking tick toxs and into

the squalor and you're bound to get a

haircut you hang by the barber parlor or

get your lips wet when you're about to

kiss and Peck or get burned quick if you

ever play with fire and I wonder when

I'll ever come too I keep coming in and

out of riddle trying to see my way

through and if I sing me a song I seem

to feel more in tune you know poetry

helps to assuage all the

Gloom I don't need beats with my Pros

because I rock it a

capella but I still

wonder when I'll ever come to

and surrender to the uncertainty of this

black and white

hypocrisy it's murky water for sure this

ain't dreams and folklore no board game

and a winner with a top

score more like some Sodom and gomorra

Barbarian uproar but it's all in my head

see my brain emits this ego distonic

stint where well I get stuck on

thoughts and can't quite seem to quit

that's like a Sonet wrapped in some

hieroglyphic myth I translate in phonics

while I write when I spit and most of

it's rigmarole and makes little sense

but I'm innocent I

swear innocent in this

sense but I'm doing the same

thing expecting a different

result some coin this Insanity I keep

claiming hope and if a woodchuck could

chuck and woodchuck would why do I keep

praying yet chopping no wood in

God I don't want to insinuate some

perfidious mistake don't get it twisted

it's not that I don't love you or think

you can't free me believe you me I'mma

leave you

this I don't doubt your capabilities are

omnipotent even with these fumes that

wkak most potently but more importantly

I guess it's silly for me to think that

I'd be free my way on my time the way

I'd like to

see so here I go again now back on my

knees slapstick humor and a mouth full

of

please a

Garden of

Eden not a garden I eat in no gluttony

no greed no apple no Eve this time you

lead and I'll button my beak even though

I'd like to see what's actually

foreseen God I have a question

question just a humble

request I got paper and a pen and a

headful of mess a mindful of thoughts

but not blind to your test if you gave

me

life then who writes the

rest thank you