How To Get A Woman Obsessed With You
Summary
TLDRThis video script delves into the darker side of relationship dynamics, cautioning viewers on the ethical use of powerful techniques to foster obsession in a partner. It emphasizes the importance of using these strategies for positive, long-lasting relationships and not for manipulation. The script explores concepts like absence, variable rewards, and the value of earned appreciation to create a deeper connection. It also discusses specific tactics such as disqualification, strategic silence, narrative framing, preemptive freeze-outs, and suspenseful open loops to enhance attraction and investment without causing harm.
Takeaways
- 🚨 Warning: The techniques discussed are powerful and can be used for positive relationships or create toxic situations, so they must be used responsibly.
- 💡 Responsibility: Once a woman becomes obsessed, the man is somewhat responsible for her well-being and should treat her well to avoid negative consequences.
- 💖 Understanding: Love or obsession is an internal process that happens when the object of affection is not present, often fueled by distance or absence.
- 🎰 Gambling Analogy: The unpredictability of rewards, like in gambling, can create addiction and obsession due to the anticipation of variable payouts.
- 📚 Academic Achievement: The value of an achievement is often higher if it is harder to obtain, which can apply to relationships where effort leads to greater appreciation.
- 👦👩 Family Dynamics: A person might be more emotionally affected by the loss of a difficult relationship than a positive one, indicating the complexity of emotional attachment.
- 🔄 Absence & Disappointment: Occasional absence or disappointment can make positive experiences more valued and can enhance the intensity of a relationship.
- 🚫 Disqualification: Genuinely challenging or pushing a girl away can create investment and desire if done at the right time and with the right calibration.
- 📵 Leaving on Read: Strategically not responding to a text can create suspense and make the other person chase, but it requires careful timing and understanding of the situation.
- 🖋 Framing & Storytelling: Creating a narrative around the relationship can increase the perceived value and specialness, fostering a deeper emotional connection.
- ❄️ Preemptive Freeze-Out: Unexpectedly pulling away at high points in an interaction can create tension and anticipation, which can be more effective than reacting negatively to rejection.
Q & A
What are the two main warnings given by the speaker at the beginning of the video?
-The speaker warns that the techniques discussed can be powerful and should be used for good, not evil, to create positive relationships rather than toxic situations. The second warning is to be careful what you wish for, as being responsible for someone who is obsessed with you can lead to negative consequences if not treated well.
What is the key message in the quote 'Falling in love is not something someone does to you, it's something you do to yourself'?
-The key message is that love or obsession is an internal process that occurs within an individual's mind, often when the object of their affection is not present, suggesting that the feeling is something one cultivates internally rather than something imposed by another.
How does the speaker relate gambling machines to the concept of obsession?
-The speaker uses gambling machines as an example to illustrate how variable payouts create anticipation and addiction. This unpredictability of reward is what makes gambling machines addictive, and a similar principle can apply to creating obsession in relationships.
What is the significance of the story about the boy with an abusive father and a caring mother?
-The story demonstrates that the intensity of emotional investment and the impact of loss can be greater for individuals who have a more challenging or complex relationship, even if it's negative, as opposed to a consistently positive one.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of absence in creating obsession?
-The speaker emphasizes absence because it allows the other person to miss the positive experiences and realize their value, thus potentially deepening their attachment and feelings of obsession.
What is the concept of 'disqualifying' in the context of the speaker's discussion?
-Disqualifying refers to the act of genuinely pushing someone away or expressing resistance in a relationship. It's a technique that can create investment by showing that the pursuer is not easily attainable, thus increasing their perceived value.
How does the speaker suggest using text messaging strategically to create obsession?
-The speaker suggests leaving gaps in text messaging, especially at strategic times when the conversation has reached a natural stopping point or when the girl sends a committal text, to create suspense and make the girl chase, thus increasing her investment in the relationship.
What is the role of framing and storytelling in creating an obsessive attachment?
-Framing and storytelling play a crucial role in shaping the narrative of the relationship, making oneself the prize, and creating a shared story that enhances the perceived value and uniqueness of the relationship, thus fostering a deeper attachment.
What is the difference between a reactive freeze-out and a pre-emptive freeze-out as described by the speaker?
-A reactive freeze-out is a punitive measure taken in response to rejection, which the speaker considers manipulative and ineffective. A pre-emptive freeze-out, on the other hand, is a strategic move made when things are going well to create tension and anticipation, enhancing the interaction and potentially increasing obsession.
How can creating suspenseful open loops affect a person's emotional state?
-Creating suspenseful open loops can lead to anxiety and anticipation, as the person is left wondering about the outcome. This can be more emotionally consuming than the actual event or revelation, as it plays on the person's imagination and fear of the unknown.
What is the speaker's final advice regarding the use of the discussed techniques?
-The speaker advises using the techniques for good, within the context of positive relationships, and warns against misuse that could lead to negative consequences, emphasizing the importance of ethical behavior and respect in interactions.
Outlines
🚨 Warnings and Ethics in Relationship Dynamics
The speaker begins by cautioning that the content of the video delves into manipulative techniques that could be used to make a woman obsessed. Two warnings are issued: first, to use the techniques ethically and for good, as they can be powerful and potentially harmful; second, to be aware of the responsibility that comes with having someone obsessed, as neglect or mistreatment could lead to negative consequences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding love and obsession before applying any techniques, suggesting that these feelings are internal and can be influenced by absence and presence.
🎲 The Role of Absence and Disappointment in Building Obsession
This paragraph explores the idea that constant presence and positivity can lead to being taken for granted, whereas occasional absence can make a person miss and appreciate the positive aspects more. The speaker uses the example of gambling to illustrate how variable rewards create addiction and obsession. The concept of valuing effort and the potential disappointment in training animals or academic settings is also discussed, highlighting the importance of unpredictability and the inclusion of some negative experiences to enhance the appreciation of positive ones.
🔄 Techniques for Implementing Absence and Disappointment
The speaker introduces five techniques to create obsession, starting with 'disqualifying,' which involves genuinely pushing a girl away to create a sense of challenge and resistance. The timing and sincerity of this technique are crucial, as it should be used when there is already some level of investment from the girl. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of calibration and ethical use of these techniques, warning against misuse due to their power.
📵 Strategic Silence in Communication to Create Suspense
Discussing the art of leaving a conversation at the right moment to create suspense and tension, the speaker advises not to respond immediately to a girl's text, especially when there is no further progression possible in the conversation. Two specific situations are highlighted where leaving a girl 'on read' can be beneficial: when the texting has reached a natural conclusion for the day, or when she sends a text that requires a thoughtful response. The aim is to create a sense of uncertainty and chase, rather than appearing desperate or too available.
🖋 Framing and Storytelling as Tools for Deepening Connection
The speaker introduces the concept of narrative and framing in relationships, explaining how the story between two people can influence their interactions and perceptions. Encouraging narratives that position oneself as the prize and fostering stories that highlight the unique connection between two people can lead to a stronger, more obsessive attachment. The speaker advises to be careful not to appear too eager while encouraging these narratives, and to use them to create a sense of shared history and value.
❄️ The Preemptive Freeze-Out: A Technique for Enhancing Attraction
The paragraph discusses the misuse of the 'freeze-out' technique, where a person pulls away after rejection, which is seen as manipulative and ineffective. Instead, the speaker recommends a 'preemptive freeze-out,' where one intentionally creates distance or pauses an interaction at a high point to build tension and anticipation. This technique is meant to enhance the interaction and create a stronger emotional response, rather than as a punishment or reaction to a negative event.
🔍 The Power of Suspense and Open Loops in Emotional Investment
The final paragraph delves into the concept of suspense and open loops, using the dread of not knowing as a tool to create emotional investment. The speaker provides examples of how leaving a situation unresolved can lead to intense feelings of worry and anticipation, which can be more powerful than the actual event. The technique of creating open loops is suggested as a way to build tension and increase a girl's emotional investment in the relationship.
🙏 Ethical Considerations and the Importance of Positive Relationships
Concluding the video, the speaker reiterates the importance of using the discussed techniques ethically and for good, emphasizing that they are more effective within the context of a positive relationship. The potential for negative consequences, such as harm to oneself or others, is highlighted, and the speaker urges viewers to act ethically and responsibly, promoting the creation of positive relationships over manipulative ones.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Obsession
💡Disqualification
💡Variable Payouts
💡Anticipation
💡Investment
💡Framing
💡Pre-emptive Freeze-Out
💡Suspenseful Open Loop
💡Validation Sensitivity
💡Ethical Use
Highlights
The video discusses powerful techniques on creating obsession in relationships, with a strong emphasis on using them ethically for good.
Warns against misuse, as the techniques can lead to toxic situations and emphasizes responsibility once a woman becomes obsessed.
Explains the psychological phenomenon of love and obsession, highlighting that it's an internal process influenced by absence and presence.
Uses gambling as an analogy to explain the concept of variable payouts creating addiction and obsession.
Illustrates the value of effort and achievement through the anecdote of two different professors and their grading styles.
Shares a story about a boy with an abusive father to demonstrate how emotional investment can be stronger with negative experiences.
Advises on the importance of absence in relationships to create appreciation for positive interactions.
Introduces the concept of disqualifying or pushing away as a technique to create investment and interest.
Discusses the strategic use of leaving the conversation at a high point to create suspense and anticipation.
Introduces the technique of leaving silences in text conversations to avoid appearing desperate and to create tension.
Advocates for creating narratives or stories about the relationship to increase emotional investment.
Describes the use of 'freeze out' as a technique to create tension and make the other person chase, but warns against its misuse.
Presents the 'pre-emptive freeze-out' as an effective variation of the freeze-out technique to enhance interaction.
Talks about the suspenseful open loop as a method to create anticipation and anxiety, which can lead to obsession.
Concludes with a reminder to use the discussed techniques ethically and responsibly to foster positive relationships.
Transcripts
how to get a woman obsessed with you
here we go
i'll be honest with you this video
really borders on the dark side of game
and for that reason i thought long and
hard about not putting it out i decided
to put it out but i'm gonna give you two
warnings going in warning number one
please use these techniques for good and
not for evil alright these are very
powerful techniques and they can be used
to create very powerful long-lasting
positive relationships or they can be
used to create some very toxic
situations i suggest you do the former
rather than the latter the second kind
of warning i'm going to give you is be
careful what you wish for once you get a
woman obsessed with you
you're kind of responsible for her in
some ways and bad things can happen if
you treat her badly once you get her
obsessed etc it's no secret that um hell
hath no fury like a woman scoring if you
know what i mean so um be careful what
you wish for do not use these techniques
in a situation where you actually don't
want the girl obsessed with you do not
use this trifling all right so that said
you've been warned
[Music]
to start this video it's important that
we understand what love or obsession
actually are because if you don't
understand that all the techniques in
the world all the techniques i'm going
to teach you aren't going to be very
helpful to you so you need to understand
what you're going for and you understand
kind of the mechanisms the psychological
phenomena at play so i'm going to give
you some examples some anecdotes of love
and obsession to help kind of clarify
that for you and then i'll get into the
specific techniques of things you can do
directly to implement these types of
strategies the first one i give you is
very anecdotal it's actually a quote i
heard a long time ago which is that
falling in love is not something someone
does to you it's something you do to
yourself when they're not around think
about that okay falling in love is
something you do to yourself when
they're not around or flipping it around
is something a girl does to herself when
you're not around so what does this mean
it means that it's something internal
going on in the girl's mind and it also
means there has to be some distance
there has to be some space or some
absence to create it so that's the first
thing i want to kind of give to as an
example second thing i want to give to
as an example
is comes from studies of gambling
if you have gambling machines that pay
off all the time
they actually would be boring right if
like they were losing and paid off all
the time it'd be obvious and boring even
if they were winning you wouldn't be
you'd want to play them for profit but
you wouldn't wouldn't actually be
obsessed to it wouldn't be addictive the
thing that makes gambling machines
addictive is the variable payouts the
fact that you don't know when you're
going to be rewarded you don't know when
you're going to be punished and so it
becomes very addictive where you pull
that lever and you don't know and
there's that anticipation anticipation
is part of what can create an addiction
that's the next concept i want you to
understand right that variable payouts
create obsession create addiction create
trained or learned behavior next example
i want to tell you is imagine you're in
school and you had two different
professors one professor gives everyone
an a all the time the other professor
never gives good grades and you have to
work super super hard but the first
professor if he gave you an a gave you
the nicest thing he can give you in
terms of your academic future and your
gpa and all that kind of stuff you just
shrug and move on with this other
teacher if you had to work and work and
work and strive and you got a b plus
even though he kind of hurt you
academically or he hurt your gpa you
would value that b plus more than you
valued the a from the other professor
and if you did happen to somehow get an
a from that professor that was very
tough and very demanding you would value
it even more so the final anecdote i'm
going to give you is an old story that's
like almost a cliche and i don't know if
it's actually true or ever happened but
it rings true and the story is this
there's a boy who grew up with an
abusive father and a very very nice kind
caring mother and he hated his father
and his father was awful to him and he
you know had tons of negative emotions
tons of issues because of his father and
his mother was always there being sweet
supportive nice etc so anyway he grows
up becomes a man shorten the story
eventually as he gets older his parents
pass away first his mother passes away
and he loved his mother he cared for his
mother but at the mother's funeral he
couldn't raise a tear it just it he
loved her he cared he missed her but he
didn't have that that emotional
investment level and then when his
abusive father died a few years later he
bawled his eyes out and he couldn't stop
crying and the idea here whether it's a
true story or not the idea here is while
he loved his mother and cared for his
mother he built his entire identity
around his father and so on a personal
level the loss of his father meant more
or was a bigger change to his world than
the loss of his mother even though he
probably liked his mother more and had a
much more positive association with his
mother okay so those are a series of
anecdotes obviously they're not
scientific studies they're not something
like that other than the gambling one
but they mean a lot and they go to the
types of techniques we're going to use
if we do want to create obsession
and the first thing i want to focus on
is this idea of absence
right if you are constantly with someone
and you're constantly providing positive
emotions to someone what happens
well they start to get used to positive
emotions they start to get used to your
presence and they start to take it for
granted right and as soon as you're
taken for granted you're in a bad way in
fact that's one of like the death knells
for a relationship right if anybody in a
relationship is being taken for granted
it's usually a sign of the beginning of
the end of the relationship
however
if contrary to that or contrasting that
you were to provide all kinds of
positive things provide all kinds of
positive experiences and then
occasionally be missing or be absent the
person would have an opportunity to miss
those positives and actually realize how
good they were right and so weirdly
enough and by missing them and
appreciating them more they would
actually you know enjoy those positives
more and have an overall more positive
interaction more positive relationship
so ironically instead of if you were
thinking about the amount of good and
positive you're putting out into the
world like per time if you're putting
out 100 positivity all the time
the value being absorbed by the other
person and the amount of connection and
obsession being created in the other
person would actually be less than if
you actually put out you know a hundred
percent and then like zero percent or
100 and then 30 and there's this
variation and there's this absence so i
want you to understand that that absence
is actually very very useful
along the lines of this absence is also
disappointment right because again if
the experience with someone is always
positive positive positive positive
then
they just get used to it they take it
for granted but if you give someone an
occasional disappointment
then it allows them to note the positive
even more and this is actually true when
you talk about training animals right if
you were to train an animal to come when
it's called right maybe train your dog
to come with call train your cat to come
when it's called and each time it comes
you feed it but if every single time
when the animal comes you feed it
then if you ever stop feeding it now all
of a sudden it learns very quickly
you're not feeding it anymore and it
will stop coming when it's called but if
during the training process you feed it
most of the time but sometimes not and
then you feed it occasionally but most
of the time not and then you just feed
it you know very sporadically it will
actually ingrain the habit very very
deeply and the longer you can go without
feeding it and have it come when it's
called the deeper the habit is built and
the more trained the animal is right so
this idea of having a variation of
experiences the idea of not being
predictable and the idea of having some
negatives mixed in so that someone can
appreciate the positive is actually very
very important in a relationship that on
a practical level if you were giving a
girl a positive experience all the time
in a relationship the only way to
actually do that in the real world would
to be supplicate to her bend over
backwards for her those kinds of things
which would make you needy and would be
low value behaviors and might actually
make her disdain you so it doesn't work
on a practical level either that all
probably sounds interesting in theory
and i hope you you follow that and you
kind of get it emotionally but that
doesn't answer the question how do you
actually implement this how do you
actually do it in practice so with that
in mind i'm gonna give you five
different techniques that you can use to
actually implement this and they're
going to go from pretty basic stuff you
may have heard before to some incredibly
advanced stuff that you've almost
certainly not heard of or not thought of
before so the first one i want to talk
about is something you've definitely
heard of before but it gets massively
underutilized in game which is
disqualifying okay legitimately
actually pushing the girl away being a
little resistant being a little hesitant
giving the girl an actual hard time in
game and i'm not talking about little qt
teases like part of me loves you and
part of me hates you with a smile on
your face that does work and it does
work in part because there is a an
element of teasing disqualification
there and you're simulating being
flirtatious you're stimulating
disqualification but i'm talking about
real disqualification
where you actually truly challenge
someone or you actually truly do give a
reason why you and the girl might not
work out right where you're legitimately
like with a girl and you clearly like
each other and you're like you know this
probably isn't gonna work right
and she's like why are you like well
listen we just we live too far away i
mean we like each other it's just it's
not practical i think we kind of i don't
think we need to get invested and
potentially break each other's hearts
and stuff like i just don't know if it's
a good idea right something like that
where it's actually sincere and you
actually mean it now obviously this has
to be calibrated and this has to be done
at a time when she likes you enough
already to care and that's the funny
thing about this these techniques to
create investments work better once
there's already investment so once
there's a little bit of investment you
can use one of these investment
magnifiers or multipliers to get much
more investments and then because
there's much more investment you can use
another one of these magnifier
multipliers to get much more investment
so you have to get the girl to like you
a little bit be invested just a little
bit because of good emotions because of
the positives that you're bringing and
it is important if you never bring a
positive you never bring a good emotion
to a girl none of this will work anyway
right but once you do have that little
bit of investment you can multiply it to
more and more and more and deeper and
deeper investment and these legitimate
push aways actually do have that effect
right and obviously a teasing push away
might be a good way to start to get a
little bit of investment a little bit of
buy-in and then you can do a more real
legitimate push away and again you do
need to be calibrated right these are
powerful techniques and what happens
when something's powerful is it can be
misused right it's like if you have like
a little tool like a screwdriver or a
hammer you know you can only do so much
damage when you start talking about like
power tools or like military grade
weapons you can do a lot more damage so
yes it's much more powerful but it's
also much more dangerous and calibration
is absolutely critical here the next
technique i want to give you is leaving
the girl on red strategically at the
right times
so obviously if you just never respond
to a girl's text that's not a good text
messaging strategy because it's not
going to go anywhere there's not enough
to it to go anywhere on the other hand
though if you're texting back
immediately all the time you look needy
you look desperate the girl knows she
can have you and there isn't a lot of
suspense or tension there so somewhere
in between is good
but the question is how can you leave
silences and leave those gaps in such a
way that it doesn't destroy the
continuity it doesn't destroy the
progression of the texting and one good
answer to that is to leave silences and
gaps at very strategic good times i'll
give you two specific times when it's
often not always but it can definitely
be a good idea to not text the girl back
or at least not text the girl back right
away so situation one is
let's say you're texting a girl and it's
it's kind of ladish into the evening
you're not gonna hang out with her
tonight for whatever reason either
you're busy she's busy it's not possible
you're far away whatever you're not
gonna hang out with her tonight so
you're not losing anything by ending the
texting and you've kind of come to a
point where she sent the last text
and there's nothing more to be achieved
tonight
you know the the emotions are good the
teasing is good there's no further
escalation possible and a lot of guys
will send something like sounds good
good night or sweet dreams or like a
thumbs up or something like that or okay
i'll hit you back tomorrow something
like that and what that does it closes
the loop right it definitely it makes
the girl completely comfortable it makes
the girl know she can have you it makes
her completely secure and it takes away
any seed of doubt in her mind it also
means that if she doesn't text you next
and you text her next you're going to be
double texting her
so it's a situation where there's
absolutely nothing gained by texting
there's nothing to be achieved from that
text and there's plenty to be lost
you're losing the suspense and you're
losing the fact that if she doesn't text
back now you have to double text so in
that situation where the texting is good
she sent the last message and there's
nothing left to achieve i would strongly
consider not texting anything else that
night just leave it and then especially
we've been texting back fairly actively
and then one of two things will happen
either she won't text back in which case
you text the next day and it's the same
as if you texted that night except now
you're restarting the conversation when
there's more to be achieved right you're
restarting the conversation on a day
when maybe the conversation can go
longer or you actually can hang out or
it can go somewhere so it's actually
better than it would have been and she
waited a little bit and wondered or
possibly she waits and wonders and then
texts you again that night because she
worries that like she offended you or
she worries where you went or she starts
to feel lonely or miss you and now
you're getting the seed of that
obsession you're getting the seed of her
chasing which is much much much better
right so either way there's nothing lost
and something possibly again this is a
very opportune time to not text that
night wait till the next day and then
you can follow up as as you would have
anyway with nothing lost and then if she
follows up instead of you or if she even
has the thoughts of falling up and
wonders if she should follow up even if
she doesn't do it you've gained
something in the interaction you've
gotten her more attached to you than you
would have had you texted right then and
there second time that it's often very
good to leave the girl on red for at
least a little bit is when she sends a
very committal text or a very try-hard
text
so for example let's say the girl tries
for like a joke in text and it's kind of
lame
um it's a good time to just go silent
for a few hours
especially if you've been texting back
pretty actively maybe just go silent for
a little bit or if you're texting you
know more sporadically like a couple
times a day maybe just go silent for a
day or something like that and then you
can hit her back up and she's gonna
worry and wonder oh was that lame
did i look did i look stupid does he not
like me did he did i did i offend him
with that joke and she's very likely to
double text maybe apologize maybe
qualify herself maybe jump in and ask
you a question just to not get silence
from you etc and again you're creating
the situation where she's the one
chasing you instead of you chasing her
think back to all those times when you
sent something that you thought was
clever or creative or interesting or
funny to a girl and then you didn't get
a response back you're like oh uh
what did i do wrong this text sucks and
you start showing your friends you start
obsessing about it you start thinking
should i text her again you're doing
that same exact thing to her except
girls feel it 10 times more strongly
than you do because they're way more
validation sensitive than we are as men
okay so these are two very good
situations we're just leaving it on red
there's nothing lost you can always text
a few hours later you always text the
next day etc but there's so much to be
gained if she does double text you
triple text you etc and even if she
doesn't if she had the inclination to if
she's the urge to if she looked back in
her pocket and thought about it you
still gain something even if she didn't
send the double text the next technique
is a much more general one it's not a
specific one-off kind of do this
specific thing say the specific line
thing it's an overall theme that can
exist throughout your entire interaction
and this has to do with framing and sort
of storytelling if you checked out my
course the system or watch deeply into
some of my materials you may be familiar
with the concept of narrative right
narrative is at least as expressed in
the system the idea of the story between
you and the girl how how she is
interpreting the situation it's the
frame which determines the events right
so um is the frame that she's chasing
you or that you're chasing her depending
which frame exists all of the different
actions you picking her up for a date
versus her picking you up for a date
versus you getting her a gift or her
getting you a gift or you kissing or
having sex all these things have a
different meaning depending on who is
perceived to be chasing depending on who
is perceived to be the prize so setting
yourself up as the prize is one example
of framing and storytelling that will
lead to a more obsessive girl than if
the frame was that you're chasing her
another great form of narrative
storytelling
is the story of us the story of you and
the girl and how you met the story of
you and the girl and what you mean to
each other why you're good together so
as much as you can you want to encourage
these narratives in the girl where
possible if she has some kind of like
cool story of how you and she met and
she likes telling it to her friends um
encourage that right let her tell that
story right be positive about that story
even like feed into the story as well
those kind of things if she has
particular things she loves about your
particular similarities that she really
highlights and likes to talk about you
know encourage that narrative talk up
that narrative occasionally do a little
like subtle reminder of those kind of
things you want to create again that
story that you're special a lot of like
the best couples
have those stories they have those those
inside stories inside jokes and
especially like those those kind of
sweet little things that they share
those little things that are part of
their story um so definitely encourage
those to happen now you want to be
careful because the other elements of
framing right which is that you're not
chasing so if it looks like you're
trying super hard to create this
similarity that's not good but when
these things come up naturally when an
opportunity arises spontaneously when
she seems to be going in that direction
anyway certainly don't stop her
and certainly even encourage it or play
along a little bit to build up that
narrative because what is the difference
between a relationship and two people
that are just attracted to each other
really what it is it's the story that
the two people have decided to tell
themselves they've decided to tell
themselves this story about why they're
good together and they decided to
share some experiences and value those
experiences to the extent that they
would have a hard time finding that
shared experience in someone else
someone of equivalent value where you
have shared experiences is actually of a
higher value to you than someone
equivalent value where you don't have
those shared experiences so the shared
experiences become a form of value they
become a form of justification they
become a form of the story you tell
yourself adding to the perceived beauty
of your life your own self-esteem your
own self-worth etc etc so encourage
these stories where they can occur right
first of all frame yourself um in
the positive way create that good story
about who you are relative to her but
also create great stories about who you
guys are together great story for
example is the idea of you and her
against the world that's a great framing
um that you can use at times the next
technique i want to share with you is
one of the most powerful
most misunderstood and most misused
techniques in all of game and this is a
technique called the freeze out
and the way most guys use the freeze out
is really wrong and kind of bad the way
most guys use a freeze out for example
is with regards to say your things are
moving towards sex they're progressing
towards some sort of escalation or some
sort of outcome you want
and then
if a guy gets rejected what he will do
is he'll kind of go cold or go silent or
pull away and the idea is that you're
sort of like punishing the girl's
rejection and you're sort of making her
feel the loss of you um and and that's
supposed to make her come around and the
idea is that um she's supposed to feel
that losing your attention
hurt more or was more uncomfortable than
whatever escalation she was resisting
and so you're sort of like
sort of emotionally blackmailing her
almost into doing what you want this is
a terrible thing to do both in terms of
manipulation and being kind of evil also
in terms of it doesn't really work very
well because it's kind of obvious it's
kind of reactive right the idea is that
like she just did something bad and then
you like you know immediately
in a reaction to her do something mean
back it's just it's very transparent it
doesn't work very well and it's not
ideal right um so i don't really like
this technique both because it's kind of
mean and cruel and kind of it's the idea
and the intention behind it is actually
inherently kind of evil um and it also
doesn't work very well however
there's a different version of a freeze
out which is not as reactive not as evil
but much more effective and this is what
i call a pre-emptive freeze-out and so
what i will do say for example again
you're escalating maybe things are
moving towards moving in a sexual
direction but you're not completely sure
it's going to go all the way to sex or
even if you are you just want to create
more tension to make the interaction
better to create more buy-in to make the
sex better even because it's part of
foreplay what you might do is along the
way when there's no obstruction towards
sex you might actually create an
obstruction or you might just pull away
randomly
so let's say you're sitting on the bed
making out and it's going pretty well
and you're like man we can maybe have
sex now um but instead of pushing
forward and trying to have sex like 99.9
percent of guys would do and being that
pushy guy that's like all you know
grabby and handsy and whatnot and and
clearly has an agenda instead what you
do is you in that that high point at
that high moment instead of trying to
escalate which you know escalating on a
high point makes sense in game but
instead of escalating at a high point
you intentionally pull away right
intentionally like at that moment you go
hang on hold that thought for a second
and you leave the room go do something
maybe if you're drinking wine you go
like you go refill the wine glasses and
just take a minute and then maybe when
you come back instead of sitting right
back down on the bed and going back to
making out which would be the obvious
thing instead maybe instead of sitting
back on the bed you go sit on the chair
next to the bed and the girl wonders
what the heck
why did he stop when things were good
why did he leave the room why would he
hit him back did he not jump back into
making out with me and now she starts to
be a little bit obsessed and actually is
a good a good lesson for game and a good
kind of story um one of the great ways
that this technique came about
was from someone who was an early mentor
of mine he was on a date and there was a
situation where there was kind of a pool
and a hot tub in him and a girl and so
what he did is he sat in the hot tub
with a girl thinking things were all
good and going all smoothly and the girl
got up out of the hot tub and dove into
the pool and just swam in the pool so
now he's sitting sitting in the hot tub
all by himself while the girls in the
pool he's like well this sucks we're not
talking she's just swimming around i'm
just sitting here what's going on
and so he waited just enough time to
like not make it seem needy and he got
up and dove in the pool after and went
to do like the whole swimmy swimmy
splashy splashy sexy sexy thing
except she she played along for a minute
or two and then she got up went out of
the pool and went and sat in the hot tub
and then he's sitting there in the pool
and she's in the hot tub and the more
times this happened the more needy it
looked and so that sort of preemptive
freeze out when things were going very
well there was no reason to stop it her
stopping it made him chase right now
again flip it around if you do the same
kind of a thing to a girl
understand that her reaction to it's
gonna be ten times stronger because
girls are much more validation based in
their emotions and they're much less
used to that sort of thing they're much
less used to be putting in the position
of being the chaser and so it definitely
has a bigger effect on them so this idea
of the preemptive freeze out stopping
things going a little bit cold with
drawing attention a little bit when
things are actually already going well
not as a reaction not as a punishment
but as a heightener as an enhancer as a
way to get the emotions higher to create
more tension to create more foreplay and
more arousal that actually is very very
useful and can be very very effective
and good final example i want to give
you is the example of the suspenseful
open loop
the idea of the dread of not knowing the
idea of waiting and anxiety anxiety and
anticipation etc
imagine um if you ever when you when you
were young if you ever did something bad
right you did something that you weren't
supposed to do and you're like worried
about getting caught you're worried
about your teacher finding out you're
worried about your parents finding out
et cetera et cetera and just eats at you
and eats at you and eats at you and
bothers you and that's all you can think
about and it just like consumes all of
your emotions like i hope i don't get
caught i hope it didn't happen etc
that feeling
is usually far worse than whatever
feeling you would get if you actually
did get caught and did get punished
right you punish yourself far more the
anxiety the anticipation is far stronger
than even the worst case
and you know oftentimes nothing happens
and all the punishment you did all the
obsession was was for nothing now you
can create that same sort of thing in a
girl by just creating open loops so
imagine this just put yourself in this
scenario you're going about your day
you're with you know you have a
girlfriend you really love you're going
about your day at work and then all of a
sudden you get a message from your
girlfriend text message from the middle
of day it says we need to talk
that's it
we need to talk
all right and then you go what the
what's going on et cetera et cetera you
leave the business meeting you're in you
call her up and she doesn't answer
imagine how you would feel in that
situation be like what
what's going on
and you'd be killing yourself all day
right and then if at the end of the day
it turned out it was a totally positive
thing like she's planning a trip
together
now you get the positive of the trip but
you also get all that anticipation all
that worry all that like are we gonna
break up did i do something wrong did
this that the other right so you created
all this tension you created all this
suspense and all this mystery because of
the open loop the open loops
occasionally something bad but not
nearly as bad as anticipated it might
even be a good way to break bad news too
because it's a relief that it's not even
that bad but the idea of the open loop
the idea of suspense the idea that the
wonder and the tension
really builds remember this idea that
falling in love or getting obsessed is
not something someone does to you it's
something you do to yourself when
they're not around so i hope you enjoyed
that dive into some of the dark but
highly effective techniques of game but
i do want to warn you once again
please use these techniques for good
there's a number of reasons for this
number one they're more effective in the
context of a positive relationship so
just please create positive
relationships instead of negative ones
two again getting girls obsessed with
you and very attached to you in negative
ways can definitely have blowback can
lead to slash tires and far worse
again hell hath no fury like a woman
scoring so please please please don't
use and abuse women also it's just
immoral unethical and sometimes illegal
so please use the techniques for good
and not for evil they'll be much more
rewarding and it's just just please be a
good human being all right so i hope you
enjoyed them i hope you like that if you
do like these deep dives and the highly
powerful surprising techniques you'll
also probably like this video on the
three surprising sex triggers the three
reasons girls have sex that you might
not be aware so i bet you'll enjoy that
as well take care thanks for listening
see you next time
[Music]
you
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