Tom Izzo: Discipline is the greatest form of love

Summary

In this insightful transcript, a coach emphasizes the importance of accountability and confrontation in fostering team dynamics and personal growth. He shares his philosophy on holding players to high standards, the value of learning from failure, and the significance of genuine care for team members. The coach discusses the challenges of maintaining discipline in a changing world, where titles and image often overshadow the importance of experience and respect earned through time and effort.

Takeaways

• 😀 The speaker values the importance of satisfaction and accountability in personal and professional life.
• 🤔 The speaker believes that people often avoid confrontation and accountability, which can hinder personal growth and team dynamics.
• 📢 A key lesson learned from Nick was 'confront and demand,' emphasizing the necessity of addressing problems and demanding change.
• 👥 The speaker sees value in holding team members to high standards, as it fosters learning and a sense of fairness within the team.
• 💪 Mental toughness is critical, especially when facing challenging schedules or situations, and the speaker tests this in practice.
• 🏆 The speaker has high expectations for players, often wanting more for them than they want for themselves, which can lead to strong loyalty.
• 🤓 Discipline and accountability are seen as essential for success, with the speaker using this philosophy daily to push themselves and others.
• 🤝 The speaker values genuine care for team members, spending time with them to understand and guide them beyond just their professional roles.
• 👶 The speaker notes a change in parental attitudes and the importance of communication with parents regarding how to handle their children.
• 🏆 Titles and positions no longer command respect as they once did; it's the time spent and genuine care that earns it.
• 👴 Experience and the journey are undervalued in today's fast-paced world, but the speaker believes they are crucial for growth and respect.

Q & A

What is the speaker's view on satisfaction and happiness in their work?

The speaker believes that they are never satisfied or happy, implying a constant drive for improvement and a high standard for themselves.

Why does the speaker think people dislike being held accountable?

The speaker suggests that people dislike being held accountable because it confronts them with their shortcomings and requires them to make changes, which can be uncomfortable.

What is the significance of the sign 'confront and demand' mentioned by the speaker?

The sign 'confront and demand' symbolizes the speaker's belief in the importance of addressing problems directly and insisting on necessary changes for personal growth and team improvement.

How does the speaker approach mental toughness in their team?

The speaker tests mental toughness by intentionally challenging players during practice to prepare them for the high-pressure situations they will face in their careers.

What does the speaker mean when they say they 'stole something from Nick'?

The speaker is referring to adopting a valuable lesson or philosophy from Nick, specifically the approach of confronting and demanding changes when necessary.

How does the speaker view the role of a coach in player development?

The speaker sees the coach's role as crucial in player development, pushing them to be better not just in skills but also in mental strength and accountability.

What is the speaker's perspective on failure?

The speaker believes that failure is an important part of learning and growth, and that it should not be feared but rather embraced as a learning opportunity.

How does the speaker describe their approach to discipline?

The speaker views discipline as a form of love and care, challenging players to improve and holding them accountable for their actions.

What does the speaker think about the changing attitudes towards titles and experience?

The speaker feels that titles and experience are not valued as much as they used to be, and that respect should be earned through time spent and genuine care for others.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of spending time with players?

The speaker believes that spending time with players allows for a deeper understanding of them, enabling the coach to provide more effective guidance and support.

What is the speaker's view on the role of parents in the development of young athletes?

The speaker notes that parents are also changing and that their attitudes towards discipline and accountability can impact the development of young athletes.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Embracing Accountability and Confrontation

The speaker emphasizes the importance of never being satisfied and holding oneself and others accountable. They discuss the discomfort people feel when confronted and the reluctance to disrupt the status quo. The speaker shares a valuable lesson from a sign that read 'confront and demand,' suggesting that addressing issues is only half the job; demanding change is essential for growth and team dynamics. They also touch on the mental toughness required for high-performance schedules and the need to push players to handle stress, using anecdotes to illustrate the point. The speaker reflects on the balance between caring for players and holding them to high standards, drawing on personal experiences and the wisdom of a respected figure, Magic, who believes that great players welcome discipline and accountability.

05:01

👨‍🏫 The Role of Discipline and Genuine Care in Coaching

This paragraph delves into the nuances of coaching, highlighting the need to understand that each player is different and requires a unique approach to accountability. The speaker acknowledges their own evolution, recognizing that while they have mellowed over time, the core principles of discipline and care remain crucial. They stress the importance of spending time with players to genuinely understand them, which in turn allows for effective mentorship. The speaker also addresses the changing dynamics of parental involvement and societal values, expressing concern over the devaluation of experience and respect in today's world. They advocate for the importance of discipline as a form of love and challenge, arguing that it is through spending time and pushing boundaries that true growth and respect are cultivated.

Keywords

💡Accountability

Accountability refers to the expectation and requirement for individuals to be responsible for their actions and decisions. In the video's context, it is highlighted as a crucial aspect of team dynamics and personal growth. The speaker emphasizes that confronting and demanding changes when someone is not performing correctly is a way to create value and foster learning. The concept is exemplified when the speaker talks about the importance of holding players accountable and how it contributes to a better team.

💡Confront

To confront means to face or deal with a problem or difficult situation directly. In the video, the speaker mentions a sign that says 'confront and demand,' indicating that addressing issues head-on is half the battle. Confronting is tied to the theme of accountability, as it is a necessary step before demanding change and improvement.

💡Mental Toughness

Mental toughness is the ability to withstand stress and maintain focus and determination despite challenges or adversity. The speaker mentions that a demanding schedule will require mental toughness, and those who lack it will struggle. It is a key concept in the video, as it is essential for success in high-pressure environments.

💡Discipline

Discipline is the practice of training oneself to follow a set of rules or a code of behavior. The speaker discusses the importance of discipline in coaching and personal development, stating that great individuals want to be disciplined and held accountable. It is a fundamental concept in the video, as it is linked to the idea of pushing oneself to achieve at a higher level.

💡Team Dynamics

Team dynamics refer to the way in which members of a team interact and work together. The speaker talks about the importance of holding everyone to the same standard within a team, which is a key part of creating a successful and cohesive unit. This concept is central to the video's message about leadership and team management.

💡Failure

Failure is the inability to meet a desired objective or the act of not succeeding. The speaker discusses the fear of learning how to fail and the importance of understanding that failure is a part of the learning process. It is a significant concept in the video, as it challenges the traditional view of success and emphasizes the value of learning from mistakes.

💡Respect

Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. In the video, respect is discussed in the context of titles versus the time spent with individuals. The speaker argues that genuine care and investment in others earn respect, not just titles or positions.

💡Experience

Experience refers to the knowledge or skill acquired by a period of practical experience of something. The speaker mentions that experience matters and is essential for making informed decisions. It is a key concept in the video, as it is contrasted with the modern tendency to prioritize speed and overlook the value of experience.

💡Parenting

Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child. The speaker talks about the changing dynamics of parenting and the importance of involving parents in the development of their children, especially in the context of sports and discipline.

💡Love

Love, in the context of the video, is portrayed as a form of care and support that involves challenging and guiding individuals to grow. The speaker argues that discipline is a form of love, as it shows a genuine concern for someone's development and well-being, even if it involves difficult decisions or actions.

💡Journey

Journey refers to a process of travel or a course of action to reach a particular point. In the video, the speaker discusses the importance of respecting the journey of personal growth and development. It is a key concept, as it emphasizes the value of the learning process and the experiences that shape individuals.

Highlights

The importance of being never satisfied and holding oneself accountable for personal growth and team dynamics.

The concept of 'confront and demand' as a strategy for addressing problems and fostering change.

The idea that confronting and demanding the right way creates value for individuals and improves team performance.

The necessity of mental toughness for success, especially when facing challenging schedules.

The practice of pushing players mentally to prepare them for the pressures of high-stakes situations.

The belief that a coach should want more for his players than they want for themselves.

The coach's approach to accountability and how it builds trust and respect within the team.

The significance of discipline and holding players accountable as a form of care and investment in their future.

The coach's philosophy on failure as a learning opportunity and its role in personal development.

The coach's self-reflection on his own mellowing over time and its impact on his coaching style.

The importance of self-evaluation as a critical component of success and personal growth.

The coach's perspective on the role of discipline in showing love and respect for players.

The changing dynamics between parents and children, and the coach's approach to engaging with parents.

The coach's view on the贬值 of titles and the increasing value placed on time and genuine connection.

The coach's emphasis on the importance of experience and the journey in personal and professional development.

The coach's belief in the power of discipline as a form of love and the challenges of changing societal values.

Transcripts

what's the most difficult part of

working for you I'm never satisfied I

mean never happy never satisfied I mean

I

I I think that's hard for people

the ones that don't live it and I think

people

don't like to be held accountable

um don't like to be confronted

and I stole something from Nick when I

went down there once he had a sign that

said confront and demand if you just

confront somebody on the problem you've

done half the job if you don't demand

the changes sometimes we Overlook things

rather than saying anything because we

don't really want to upset the apple

cart in any way

but in the long run if you confront

people when they don't do things the

right way and you demand that they do it

the right way it actually creates value

for them because they're learning

accountability and uh it also helps you

have a better team because everybody on

the team sees that everybody's help to

the same standard so that's just

something that I've always sort of

thought was important in Team Dynamics I

know we're going to embark on a schedule

that is

of the charts better schedule than I've

ever played if you're not mentally tough

you're gonna get swallowed and so

I picked different times in practice to

actually pick on a player see how he can

handle the mental stress because I know

what's coming come on Nick you're

done I'll bring you

and say you gotta a or b a c or a d you

know and if it's a C or D

we got to figure out how to deal with

this if it's an A or B you're making

good progress no we know he loved us and

he he actually wanted for a lot of the

players he wanted more for them than

they wanted for themselves and we'll run

through a brick wall for him so but he

would always he held us highly

accountable but on the backhand we knew

he cared about it so we had his back as

well magic helped in that you know

I am once asked them if I could be a pro

coach

and he said hell yes

and I said really and he said

the great ones want to be disciplined

want to be held accountable

that's the other ones that don't

I use that every day to myself

and then trying to push people

when

everybody

um

has gotten softer

but to do what I'm doing at the level

I'm doing it or to do with those players

want to become they all want to become

Pros they just think it's a Rite of

Passage

it's not balls go like this because

you're getting this Thumb in there like

that my biggest fear of the transfer

rule is anybody going to learn how to

fail

because it's okay to fail have you ever

failed sure I failed a zillion times you

just name some of them

it's kind of bad interviewer you already

brought up all those bad memories for me

you don't learn as much from winning

as you do from losing

because when you win everybody's patent

you on the back and you've got a hundred

thousand friends

you know I got 650 000 of them not

somebody living Alum we have but when

you lose

you know you come down here and you look

around and there's nobody here media

people whatever Heartland time

he's so much harder on himself than

anybody else could really yeah he says

you know he's he's hired to be fired

every single day that's how he lives his

life you've said uh you've mellowed over

the years what impact do you think that

said

um a little bit of negative one really a

little bit how so well because I too

have to make sure I'm holding everybody

accountable what do you got to do to be

successful self-evaluate

it's one of the hardest things there is

to do you know you can always evaluate

other people

I mean unfortunately the media does it a

lot and I say that

with a lot of positives but

those people I'm weren't in the practice

that day they weren't in the film room

that night how do they know you know I

don't try to be a brain surgeon but

everybody you know I don't tell those

doctors what to do but everybody tells

me what to do well so on the media front

you've been criticized before for

yelling at Players yeah a number of your

players actually kind of hold that as a

a badge of honor to be on the end of

your wrath I'm curious the purpose you

see that serving well it's you know

people see the moment

they don't see the building right he

yeah he got me one game I wasn't playing

so good and yeah he took me out the game

and he said uh he said yo thank me later

he said because this is national TV

and he's thinking it up you know so I

think I've told every single one of my

players you know just you know don't

don't take

how he says things to you just really

listen to what he's telling you not how

he's telling you if you think that any

blow-ups are over one time

than you have been any of our reunions

because no player would come back they

all come back I would always say my best

suit is I spent time with my guys

so if you spend time with somebody and

you get to know them inside and out they

get to know you inside now

I'm Italian you know I can't say hello

without saying

probably some bad word or something you

know just the way it works oh no I've

seen some of those videos I'm like man

you gotta worry about your blood

pressure nah they just laugh at it they

probably go in the locker room and laugh

at me but I have mellowed in that

respect the bottom line is

you have to figure out every person's

different and how you hold them

accountable

but don't as they say

um judge a book by the cover

you know there's a lot that goes into it

people didn't see the days we would go

in his office and sit and hang out and

talk to him about not nothing about

basketball you know I guess hard as

purest goal you know it's a lot of

coaches man they they have players and

they don't they don't genuinely care

about them we know he cared about us you

know not only did he say it he showed it

way to go Jax

[Applause]

in 2010 you talked about how everybody

talks about kids changing but what they

fail to recognize is it's the parents

changing too uh in what ways I have PTA

meetings I have a parent group meeting

every midnight man has had one this year

and just talk to them about the things

and so I talked them up front

and I asked them how do you want me to

handle your kid if he's

you know got a problem and then I say

well if it says on the ticker

that John Doe is suspended because

skipped a bunch of classes how are you

going to feel about that the moms keep

their hand up that they want they want

it done the dad's kind of sheepishly

bring their hand down because

everybody's so worried about image now

and this and that we all went through

that right it's just that that

stuff has has changed the world I mean

titles mean nothing anymore and that's

okay

you know head coach president

um Hall of Fame champion

those are titles they mean nothing it

used to be your title earned earned you

respect

I'm the head coach I'm the principal no

what earns respect is time spent

and I think you got to do that with

every kid you got to sell it that

you're going to spend time with them

you're going to get to know him and

through that you can tell them

through your experiences what's right

wrong you know people act like an 18

year man now

I struggle with that because

held to my dad died I was still asking

him what what house I should buy you

know

um we don't do a good enough job we

don't think experience matters anymore

why do you have to be 36 to be the

president

because experience matters

you know and yet and everything else

we speed the process along so fast that

I don't think people respect the journey

I don't think they respect people as

much as they should and uh

I try to do that and someone would say

well if you grab a kid or yell at you

that's not respecting them

I look at it the opposite

I think discipline is the greatest form

of love you can show somebody it'd be

easy for me to let the kid do what he

wants that's an easy Road

but if you challenge him

the only way you can change them is to

spend time with them

and you've really done them a favor