Life Lessons and College Adventures in College Essay Writing | Mark Hernandez | TEDxGunnHighSchool
Summary
TLDRThe speaker dedicates a talk to Mr. David, a teaching idol, emphasizing the importance of clean, non-egotistical writing in college essays. They discuss the 'elephant in the room' plea for readers to continue engaging with the essay. The speaker outlines three tests for effective writing: literacy, avoiding arrogance, and understanding the reader's experience. Using personal anecdotes and metaphors, they stress the need for clarity, humility, and empathy in writing to ensure readers remain invested.
Takeaways
- 📚 Dedication: The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, a teaching idol and a brilliant man, emphasizing the importance of gratitude and admiration in teaching.
- 📝 Clarity: The central plea of college essays is to engage the reader to continue reading the next sentence, highlighting the necessity for clear and compelling writing.
- 🧐 Literacy Test: Writing cleanly and without errors is crucial for passing the 'literacy test' in college essays, as it ensures the reader's smooth progression through the text.
- 🚫 Jackass Test: Avoiding arrogance and self-aggrandizement in writing is essential to pass the 'jackass test', ensuring the reader does not perceive the writer negatively.
- 🤔 Gets It Test: Demonstrating an understanding of the reader's experience and perspective, known as the 'gets it test', is vital for creating a connection and maintaining reader interest.
- 🏆 Uniqueness: The speaker's personal essay about Star Wars, despite being unconventional, was memorable and stood out, suggesting that uniqueness can be an asset in writing.
- 🎯 Target Audience: Recognizing the audience's effort to read and engage with the essay is important, as it influences how the writer crafts their message.
- 🔍 Attention to Detail: The importance of small details is underscored by the Titanic metaphor, illustrating how neglecting them can lead to significant consequences.
- 🤷♂️ Overconfidence: The speaker's experience with law school applications shows the pitfalls of overconfidence and the value of understanding the process and requirements.
- 📉 Humility: The need for humility in writing is highlighted, as it prevents the writer from coming across as boastful or self-aggrandizing.
- 🔄 Adaptability: The anecdote about the Star Destroyer demonstrates the importance of adaptability and thinking on one's feet, which can translate to writing as well.
Q & A
Who does the speaker dedicate the talk to and why?
-The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, who still teaches at the school, because he is the speaker's teaching idol, a brilliant man, and a wizard, and the speaker loves him very much.
What is the 'elephant in the room' the speaker refers to in the context of college essays?
-The 'elephant in the room' is the plea for the reader to continue reading the next sentence, which is the essence of what college essays aim to achieve.
What are the three tests the speaker mentions that one must pass to write a compelling college essay?
-The three tests are the literacy test (writing cleanly), the Jackass test (not coming across as arrogant), and the 'gets it' test (understanding the reader's experience).
What book did the speaker read during a dark period in their reading career, and how did it impact them?
-The speaker read 'Titanic: Death and Life of a Legend' by Michael David. It made them feel joy and relaxation due to the clean grammar and appropriate use of language, which stood in stark contrast to the poorly written essays they had been reading.
What is the significance of the Titanic metaphor in the speaker's narrative?
-The Titanic metaphor is used to emphasize the importance of paying attention to small details in writing to avoid causing a disaster, similar to how the Titanic's fate was sealed by overlooked details.
What does the speaker mean by the 'Jackass test' in the context of writing college essays?
-The 'Jackass test' refers to ensuring that the writer does not come across as arrogant or self-aggrandizing in their essay, which would be a turn-off for the reader.
Can you explain the 'gets it' test according to the speaker?
-The 'gets it' test is about understanding the reader's perspective and experience while reading the essay. It's about writing in a way that resonates with the reader and makes the essay memorable.
What is the story of Bing Bong and Sadness from the movie 'Inside Out' used to illustrate in the talk?
-The story is used to illustrate the importance of empathy and understanding emotions in writing, which can make an essay more relatable and impactful.
What is the speaker's personal anecdote about applying to law school and how did it end?
-The speaker tried to submit a law school application in person despite the instructions specifying online submission. They were told to make it double-spaced and later realized the importance of understanding the reader's perspective.
What was the speaker's college essay about and what was the outcome?
-The speaker wrote a college essay about a Star Wars short story involving Star Destroyers and shield generators. Surprisingly, it was well-received and they were invited for an interview for a scholarship.
What is the key takeaway from the speaker's experience with writing essays?
-The key takeaway is that writing should be clean, relatable, and memorable to make the reader want to continue reading and ultimately remember the content.
Outlines
📝 The Essence of College Essays: Readability and Connection
The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David, a revered teacher, and introduces the central plea of college essays: the need for the reader to be compelled to read the next sentence. The speaker emphasizes the importance of literacy, clean writing, and the ability to engage the reader. Using the metaphor of the Titanic and a book that provided a refreshing reading experience, the speaker illustrates the significance of writing without grammatical errors, allowing for smooth transitions between sentences. The first test for essay writers is to demonstrate clean English writing, which is crucial for capturing and maintaining the reader's interest.
🧠 The 'Jackass Test' and Understanding the Reader's Experience
The speaker outlines the second test for essay writers: avoiding arrogance and demonstrating humility. Writing self-aggrandizing statements is discouraged as it reflects poorly on the writer. The third test, the 'gets it' test, is about understanding the reader's experience and what it takes to be genuinely engaging. The speaker uses the story from the movie 'Inside Out' to illustrate empathy and understanding, showing that acknowledging the reader's journey is vital. The anecdote about professional table tennis players and the speaker's own experience with a law school application further emphasize the importance of respecting the reader's time and providing value through clear, concise, and relatable content.
🚀 Creative Risks and the Unexpected Outcomes of Essay Writing
The speaker recounts a personal story of writing a creative and risky college application essay about Star Wars, which surprisingly led to an invitation for a scholarship interview. This narrative highlights the power of clean, unique, and memorable writing. The speaker admits that while the essay was not conventional, its readability and distinctiveness made it stand out. The experience taught the speaker about the importance of standing out in a sea of applicants, suggesting that taking creative risks can sometimes yield positive results.
🔍 Reflections on Writing and the Importance of Standing Out
In conclusion, the speaker reflects on the importance of writing that is both easy to read and hard to forget. They acknowledge that while their Star Wars essay may not have been the best in terms of traditional merit, its clarity and uniqueness made it memorable. The speaker emphasizes the increasing competition in writing and the need to make each sentence count, urging writers to consider the reader's investment of time and attention. The talk ends with an invitation to follow the speaker for more insights, highlighting the ongoing journey of improving writing skills.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Dedication
💡Elephant in the Room
💡Clean Writing
💡Jackass Test
💡Get It
💡Table Tennis
💡Personal Statement
💡Star Wars
💡Scholarship Interview
💡Memorable Writing
Highlights
The speaker dedicates the talk to Mr. David Enla, a teaching idol and a brilliant man.
The central plea of college essays is to engage readers to continue reading the next sentence.
The 'elephant in the room' metaphor is used to describe the unspoken need for compelling writing in essays.
Three tests are identified for compelling essay writing: literacy, non-jackassery, and understanding the reader's experience.
Writing cleanly is crucial for passing the literacy test and making an essay easy to read.
The importance of clean grammar and punctuation is illustrated with the Titanic metaphor.
The 'Jackass test' emphasizes humility and avoiding self-aggrandizement in writing.
The 'Gets it' test is about understanding the reader's journey through the essay.
Sadness from the movie 'Inside Out' is used as an example of understanding emotions in the reader.
The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a disastrous law school application attempt.
A humorous story about a Star Wars essay written for a college application is recounted.
The unexpected positive response to the unconventional Star Wars essay highlights the value of uniqueness.
The importance of respecting the profession of admissions officers is discussed.
The speaker reflects on the significance of writing that is both easy to read and hard to forget.
A call to action for writers to pass the three tests and create impactful essays is made.
The talk concludes with an invitation to follow the speaker for more insights and content.
Transcripts
my talk is please read the next sentence
I like dedicate this talk to mr. David
enla who still teaches at the hetero
school
he's my teaching idol and a brilliant
man and a wizard and I love him very
much I'm so grateful for him there's one
idea there's one message there's one
plea really that is at the heart in the
subtext of nearly every college essay
that I've ever read and in fact it's
such it's such an elephant in the room
and it's such a big and obtrusive and
obvious elf in the room I've often
talked it and my students can tell you
this I've said that at some point
someone's gonna wise up and actually
announce this elephant the room as the
first lie in their essay and the
elephant in the room this plea this idea
is very simply please read the next
sentence because that's the whole game
of admissions essays we want people to
just please read the next sentence and
then the next sentence and the next
sentence and the next sentence until
finally someone says yes we need this
person to come to our school and that's
we want to do we want to make sure if
people read our next sentence but that's
it's easier said than done as easy just
haven't done and I've written a lot of
college essays I've read thousands I've
edited thousands and I can tell you the
thread experience there are three tests
do you really have to pass if you want
people to continually read your next
sentence until they say yes they want
you in their school and the first test
is the literacy test how to pass this
test you have to show that you can write
cleanly can you write the English
language clean you cleanly
can you write clean sentences now I have
the image of the Titanic there because
it reminds me of a book that I don't
know is any good but I can tell you it
might have saved my soul it's called
Titanic death and life of a legend and
it's by Michael David again not sure
it's very good because I haven't
finished it but it did start it now I
started it in November of 2018 I've
finished it when I started in 2018 in
November 2018 and I came to this book at
a very dark period in my reading career
I was reading two scores essays they
were just written and riddled with all
sorts of mistakes of any number of types
if you may if I may here I was
is drowning drowning and drowning in
really bad si he's really bad si so I
got really down on the whole right
enterprise thank you and so I picked up
this book and I started reading it and I
got a few pages in this bizarre
sensation came over me
I was just filled with joy and
relaxation our breathing deeper deeper
and I said oh my god that's right I like
reading it was he was clean Grammer
there were semicolons used appropriately
he was just so wonderful and it really
called in a very clear relief how
important it is to write cleanly it made
such a difference and again I'm sure the
writer is very good it was just clean I
could go from one sentence to the next
without pausing to get really disturbed
by mistakes so I'm here to tell you
writing cleanly makes a big big
difference and it's the first important
test you got to pass you want people to
read your next sentence now I'm an
English teacher so of course I cannot
miss the opportunity to mention another
metaphor and that's this I mean the
story of the Titanic as far as I've got
in the book is one that says if you
don't pay attention to small details big
things can fall the second test the
Jackass test you have to pass all right
can you prove in your writing that
you're not a jackass if you find
yourself ever writing I don't quite know
how to put this but I'm kind of a big
deal you're a jackass if you ever find
yourself writing people often ask me how
I can be so accomplished so capable so
wonderful and yet still remain so humble
and I tell them the truth it's not easy
you're a jackass you a jackass if you
ever find yourself writing everyone said
that getting perfect grades and the
perfect score in the end the SAT and the
a CT as well everyone said that was
impossible
boy did I show them you're a jackass
you're a jackass so this is an important
test one that's easy to pass I hope I
hope for most of us of trying to be a
jackass the next test is a harder one to
really get wrap your mind around
sometimes but it is important it is the
gets it test do you get it you get with
this enterprise all about you get your
audiences going through you get what
it's like to be reading your essay and
again it's a hard test to sort of define
but I can tell you someone who gets it
you know who gets it sadness great right
sadness guess if you haven't seen the
movie it's fine if you have seen it's
inside out it's fine here's what I can
tell you though what you need to know
about this is shot here sadness and joy
there are emotions in Riley's head and
they have to get back to headquarters
otherwise Riley will never be the same
so they have to go back to headquarters
and they need Bing bongs help now the
problem Bing bong has is he's seeing his
rocket slash wagon be thrown in the dump
and he's very sad about this because
signals the end of his relevance it's a
huge deal for him right now there's joy
and joy says hey let's go here's a
tickle monster so on and so forth right
let's go it's not working
and then sadness sits down with Bing
bong and says you must feel horrible I
must be very sad about this that wagon
that Rocco is very important to you it's
gone forever and now you've lost me
important and he cries a little candy
and he finally said okay you know what
that's good
I can go let's move on and it starts
with sadness getting in this was a
sadness understanding I see what you're
going through and I'm willing to be here
for you before you need to be here for
us and it's a major step that people
need to pass animators tests people need
to pass in order a few sentences to get
read now
I've heard in the world of a river story
once that in the world of professional
sports
no one is disrespected nearly as much as
professional table tennis players right
nobody goes up to Tom Brady and says hey
Tom you know I think I could beat you in
a passing contest okay
no one goes up to LeBron James and says
you know I played a ball in high school
I could hoop in high school what do you
say we get some one-on-one nobody says
that
but routinely people on meeting table
tennis players they say you know I had a
table in my basement
growing up or I was really good at the
club let's get a game right and they
show this trim and by the way they lose
every time by the way right shutout and
sometimes a table tennis player that go
left handle these really disgusting
display really embarrassing for the
initial challengers right so it matters
though is it is it shows level
disrespect like they don't know the ends
announce what it takes to be a
professional table people than this
player all these sacrifices that these
have that these people have to make and
that's true for a lot of professions I
will say this including teaching so it's
true for a lot of professions at man
also includes yes admissions officers
right a lot of people don't get what it
takes to be one these professionals what
they go through and database instead and
for sure I didn't by the way I didn't
until I had a disastrous attempt to turn
in a law school application in person
now yeah bless you must be my class so
so I had two reasons for going to turn
this thing in and out and in person one
was stupid and one was legitimate the
stupid reason was I thought I'd go in in
person and I would show some charm
because I'm mark Hernandez why not and
and and I would say well they can't turn
me down once they meet me so that was
part of it that was really stupid and
the second reason was legitimate the
application said we want a personal
statement of two pages we'll get that in
a second so okay so first of all I knew
for a fact you're supposed to turn these
things in online I knew that so it was a
mistake number one was to try to do this
in person mistake number two was I was
late I showed up after the office is
supposed to be supposed to close mistake
number three was I decided to move
forward anyway and I saw the doors open
and so I went up there and
you know what we're gonna do it okay I'm
gonna go try this I'm gonna go trim
application it's gonna be great it's
gonna work all this charm this person
and I'll ask my question I'll be out of
there I'll be great and remember my face
that's gonna so forth right so I'll go
in there and this probably is an unfair
representation of what the person looked
like it probably is unfair and this
probably is too but it's not that far
off in the seam line but there I was and
again the whole point there's ago charm
them right eye so I stand there by the
door and then finally she acknowledges
me
pretty much that feats by the way and
and she's and I go okay well so so so hi
hi hi I'm Marc Marc Marc Marc Marc
Hernandez Marc Hernandez and and and and
and I I'd like to apply to law school
and she says right we accept only online
applications right right right but I
have one here I thought I thought I
thought I thought I thought I see the
trouble so much trouble so here you go
I'd like to apply to law school and she
goes right again we accept only online
applications okay okay so I started
turning around I walk out and I stopped
myself because I remember I had a
question and it's lejeune reason for
going the question again now the prompt
said the personal Sam prompt said write
a personal statement of two pages now
I've given FSA assignments to no that's
not good enough right do you what's the
word count right do you mean two pages
single-spaced two pages double-spaced
that matters that matters a ton that
matters a ton for my approach because I
hadn't read the essay other that matters
of ten so I needed to know this answer
because it wasn't nowhere to be found
online and so yeah well okay I'm sorry
sorry sorry Paul you put but but so so
so so the the essay is supposed to be to
two pages you say but is that you know
single spaced or double-spaced and she
goes we read over 5,000 application
essays every year so yeah go ahead and
make it double spaced
okay okay did I walk off and until then
I didn't get it until it I didn't get it
and if I understood what these people
went through then this next story would
have made a lot more sense a lot sooner
and this actually harkens back to me
applying to college where I applied to
the beautiful University of California
San Diego now I want to bog down the
details here but I was fairly confident
in my in my admission by according my
math according to the math they provided
me it was a foregone conclusion and I
was deep in the application process so I
was sort of fed up with writing essays
and so I decided I would do everyone a
favor and so I called them up and I
called them up and I said look I'm sure
you know who I am this is Mark Hernandez
you probably heard of me and I'm
applying to your school and I see that
I'm pretty much mathematically
guaranteed admissions so what do you say
we just skip the essay
wait really have to write one and they
said yes yes you do I wasn't very happy
about this and I always got so indignant
and self-righteous and so forth and I
was very upset what am I supposed to do
at this point I don't know what's going
I'm gonna do it so you know what finally
then I decided to get really snarky with
it and then I decided to take one for
the team I was gonna be a freedom
fighter of sorts and you know what I did
I decided to just write a story about
Star Wars like full-on just just a short
story right about um so my favorite
ships of Star Destroyers now if you
don't know about Star Destroyers it's
fine if you don't here's we need to know
for the story they are tough ships to
deal with the best way to deal with them
you had the only way to deal them that
we know of is to take out their shield
generators now the shield generators are
on these towers on top of the deck this
is something they come across finally in
restore the Jedi and yes the a-wings
decide to attack these shield generators
and then it's good for business right
that's how you down to start asteroids
you go for the shield generators right
so okay so my story is I am the leader
obviously a an x-wing squadron and we're
going to attack a Star Destroyer here
run assignment we're gonna go you know
destroy it and then get the hell out of
there so we go there and we jump out of
Lightspeed and sure enough there we are
and we decide to attack the Star
Destroyer and we go for obviously we go
for the shield generators first and we
destroy them fantastic it's over it's
done let's get out of here a big problem
it's not destroyed yet right is still
fully functional so what's happened
they've clearly moved the shield
generators in some sort of elaborate
ruse right so they've moved it somewhere
else and so I figure out and I notice
that there's a lot of concentration of
fire coming from one spot and I say aha
that's what they've got to be and so I
say okay you know you know red group
green group gold group all groups you
know attacked that spot and sure enough
that's what shield generators are sure
enough we destroy the Star Destroyer
sure enough success headed a Lightspeed
end of essay right there was no like oh
here's what I learned there was no I
want to be a leader there's none of that
okay and I swear I swear folks I wrote
this thing in 20 minutes 20 minutes I
was so again so indignant so
self-righteous I'm like oh yeah you're
gonna make me write an essay watch this
and is only really got after it 20
minutes I swear I swear that's pretty
excited myself pretty pleasing myself
and then I got a phone call and I got a
really freaked out because they say look
is this mark Hernandez yes this is the
University of California San Diego oh
and I'm thinking that the thoughts are
racing that I'm caught they call my
bluff they read it
I think they'd read it I'm done for I'm
hoes they're gonna borrow me for any
college ever it's totally over and on
the other line they say look we all we
all talk about wrestling yeah okay I can
explain I can explain and they say well
would you consider flying down to
University and University California San
Diego to interview for region
scholarship is one of the best essays
we've ever read
wait hey go seriously and they said yeah
and they go okay
so I flew down and interviewed and a
long long table of people and long story
short long story short I didn't okay I
did okay
and I got it now I'm here to tell you
folks I'm here to tell you that I don't
looking back on I don't know that my
essay was actually any good
I really don't and I say that with all
due respect and humility in all of it
what I do know though is my essay was
clean and it was different and what that
means is it was easy to read and hard to
forget now
I think people make me I'll make a
mistake and when I started thing of this
talk and yes it started as college
college essay writing it applies to all
writing
I mean people sometimes make a mistake
of thinking look my writing is so
important everyone was looking forward
to reading my writing write mine is the
only thing that we're gonna read it in a
given day and that's wait wait ah right
we're not getting any more minutes or
hours at it today and the number of
things the people that are writing goes
up every day and people expect it to
people write more every day and feel
excited to read more every day so people
are reading just what yours you're just
one of thousands there's one of
thousands so when you're asking people
to read your next sentence if the
increasing becomes more and more of an
investment you're asking to people and
so therefore it becomes even more
important to make sure you pass these
tests make sure you're writing cleanly
make sure that you're not a jackass and
make sure that you get it make sure you
give your audience's code what your
audience is going through and you do
that I do think you can write stuff that
is going to be easy to be easy to read
and hard to forget and when you do that
then people read your next sentence
forever and forever forever it'd be
really good for business for you and I
think it'd really help you so if you
want to read some more tweets and cool
stuff follow me
[Applause]
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