Is Your Anger Depression or Anxiety?
Summary
TLDRDr. Christy Lam, a board-certified psychiatrist and psychotherapist, offers insights into distinguishing between healthy anger and depressive irritability. She explains that anger is a physiological response to environmental stimuli, while depressive irritability is pervasive and can be a defensive mechanism. Dr. Lam suggests that recognizing disproportionate responses and underlying symptoms of anxiety or depression can help identify irritability's root cause. She encourages self-reflection to discern the true source of frustration and to address it appropriately, rather than acting out of guilt or perpetuating depression.
Takeaways
- 😡 Anger is a physiological response to environmental stimuli, signaling that something is not okay and may require setting boundaries.
- 😖 Depressive irritability is a pervasive feeling of annoyance that can be defensive over anger and is not clearly linked to a specific stimulus.
- 🤔 Differentiating between anger and depressive irritability involves assessing if the irritation is out of proportion to the stimulus and if it's pervasive.
- 😕 Signs of irritable depression or anxiety may include ruminating thoughts, isolation, self-attack, withdrawing, and feeling numb except when irritable.
- 🔍 To understand the cause of irritability, it's important to check in with oneself to identify the actual source of frustration rather than the immediate trigger.
- 💪 Recognizing genuine anger can be empowering, motivating one to set boundaries and ensure needs are met.
- 😟 The discharge of irritability in the face of depression or anxiety can sometimes lead to guilt, which can perpetuate depression.
- 🧘♂️ Self-awareness is crucial when feeling irritable; it can guide one to calm the nervous system and address underlying issues.
- 🤝 Understanding the difference between anger and depressive irritability can improve interpersonal relationships by managing reactions more effectively.
- 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and addressing the root causes of emotional responses for better mental health.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Dr. Christy Lam's video?
-The main topic of Dr. Christy Lam's video is differentiating between real feelings of anger and depressive irritability.
How does Dr. Lam define anger as an emotion?
-Dr. Lam defines anger as a physiological experience in the body, triggered by a stimulus in the environment, characterized by sensations of heat in the chest, energy and power in the limbs, and sometimes a furrowed brow or clenched jaw.
What is depressive irritability according to the video?
-Depressive irritability is a pervasive feeling of annoyance at everyone and everything, sometimes defensive over anger, and can be a response to grief or sadness.
How can we identify if our irritability is due to depressive or anxious feelings?
-We can identify depressive or anxious irritability by its pervasiveness and if the response is out of proportion to the stimulus, indicating an underlying issue rather than a direct reaction to a specific event.
What is one sign that irritability might be a symptom of defensive depression?
-One sign is that the irritability is pervasive, affecting the person's reactions to a wide range of situations, rather than being linked to a specific stimulus.
Why might someone with depressive or anxious feelings react out of proportion to a stimulus?
-They might react out of proportion because they are trying to create external order or demand it due to feeling chaotic inside, or they are externalizing their internal chaos onto others.
What are some underlying symptoms of depression or anxiety that could indicate irritability is not just anger?
-Underlying symptoms could include ruminating thoughts, isolation, self-attack, withdrawing, and feelings of numbness, except when the irritability is displayed.
How can one determine if their irritability is a genuine expression of anger or a symptom of depression or anxiety?
-By checking in with oneself, identifying the actual stimulus of the frustration, and assessing whether there is a need to set a boundary or if there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
What is the difference between the empowering feeling of anger and the discharge of irritability in depression or anxiety?
-Empowering anger moves us to set boundaries and get our needs met, while the discharge of irritability in depression or anxiety can lead to guilt and perpetuate feelings of depression.
Why is it important for someone who is irritable to check in with themselves and understand their feelings?
-It is important to understand the underlying cause of irritability to take better self-care measures and address the root issue, whether it is genuine anger that needs boundary setting or an emotional state that requires calming and introspection.
What advice does Dr. Lam give for dealing with irritability that is not rooted in anger?
-Dr. Lam advises to look inward, get clear about what is causing the irritability, and then try to move forward in a different way, addressing the underlying emotional state rather than just the outward expression of irritability.
Outlines
😠 Understanding Anger vs. Depressive Irritability
Dr. Christy Lam, a board-certified psychiatrist and family medicine expert, introduces the topic of differentiating between healthy anger and depressive irritability. Anger is described as a physiological response to environmental stimuli, signaling the need for boundary setting. In contrast, depressive irritability is pervasive, affecting one's mood towards everyone and everything, and can be a defensive mechanism. It may also stem from underlying feelings of sadness or anxiety, leading to an out-of-proportion response to minor irritations. The speaker advises checking for signs of anxiety or depression that could indicate irritability, such as ruminating thoughts or feelings of isolation.
🤔 Strategies for Dealing with Irritability
The second paragraph delves into strategies for handling irritability. It suggests that when feeling irritable, one should introspect to understand the underlying cause. This could involve identifying the specific stimulus for frustration and determining whether it's a genuine need for setting a boundary or a symptom of an unaddressed emotional state. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing the difference between empowering anger and the guilt-inducing discharge of depressive or anxious feelings. By doing so, individuals can better manage their emotional responses and avoid perpetuating feelings of depression.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Anger
💡Depressive Irritability
💡Psychotherapy
💡Stimulus
💡Boundary Setting
💡Anxiety
💡Irritability
💡Empowerment
💡Guilt
💡Self-Reflection
💡Nervous System
Highlights
Dr. Christy Lam is a board-certified psychiatrist and family medicine expert in psychotherapy.
She provides expert-level, scientifically-based mental health education.
The differentiation between real feelings of anger and depressive irritability is discussed.
Anger is defined as a physiological experience triggered by environmental stimuli.
Depressive irritability is pervasive and can be a defensive response over anger.
Depressive irritability may be a result of underlying anxiety or depression.
Irritability can be out of proportion to the stimulus in the context of anxiety or depression.
Externalizing irritability can be a sign of internal chaos or a need for external order.
Checking in with oneself can help identify the true source of irritability.
Ruminating thoughts and isolation can contribute to pervasive irritability.
Irritability without a clear stimulus can indicate an underlying issue.
Anger, when identified correctly, can be empowering and lead to boundary setting.
Depressive irritability can lead to guilt and perpetuate depression.
Self-awareness of irritability is crucial for proper self-care.
Understanding the difference between anger and irritability can improve mental health management.
The video provides practical advice on how to deal with depressive irritability.
Dr. Lam emphasizes the importance of self-reflection in managing emotional responses.
Transcripts
[Music]
i'm dr christy lam board certified in
psychiatry and family medicine with an
expertise in psychotherapy here to
provide expert level scientifically
based mental health education in a
practical and applicable way so one
question i often get as a psychiatrist
and psychotherapist is how do i
differentiate real feelings of anger
that as i talk about often are really
healthy and useful information that help
us guide decisions and set boundaries
from depressive irritability so first
let's take a look at these two different
categories and define them initially so
anger as an emotion is a physiological
experience in the body there's a
stimulus in the environment that then
triggers the sensations in the body of
heat in the chest energy and power in
the limbs and extremities sometimes a
furrowed brow or a clenched jaw it's
nothing more than a physiological
experience that lets us know something
in my environment is not okay i might
need to set a boundary depressive
irritability and sometimes anxious
irritability comes in when we are more
pervasively just kind of annoyed at
everyone and everything and it actually
can sometimes be defensive over anger so
one sign that we can know that might be
irritable depression defensive
depression of
irritability is that it's pervasive it's
kind of across the board everything's
annoying me right now or sometimes over
grief or sadness so sometimes when
someone is feeling really sad they get
anxious over having sad feelings sad
feelings aren't allowed so they get
anxious and then they put on an
irritable or aggressive front they may
puff up they may be kind of just
dismissive of everyone around them or
irritated by everyone around them it's
not clearly linked to a stimulant a
second thing that can help us know this
is irritability in the context of
anxiety or depression is when the
response is out of proportion to the
stimulus so
sometimes we can get really puffed up
and really nitpicky with one of our
maybe a partner about i would never uh
talk about my husband's shoes all over
the floor
but i can you know i know when i come
and i'm feeling annoyed at the shoes on
the floor it's not about the shoes on
the floor and the irritation that i feel
inside is not about the shoes it's not
anger at my husband leaving his shoes
out for a minute he's usually a very
neat person but if i see something out
of place it means there's something else
going on it means that i'm often for me
trying to create some kind of external
order or to demand some kind of external
order because i'm feeling kind of
chaotic inside and so i put it on other
people i
might externalize it and so this can be
irritability again that's out of
proportion to what's going on that
another day really i might not even
notice right so this irritability that
comes up in the face of addiction or
anxiety is going to be pretty distinct
from just feeling grounded in a feeling
of anger about something that there is a
very clear stimulus for the other thing
we want to look out for are there
underlying symptoms of depression or
anxiety that would also tip us off to
this idea so we want to look for any
signs or symptoms of anxiety in the body
that we might notice ruminating thoughts
that might also contribute to that
pervasive irritability or depressive
symptoms so any signs of isolation
self-attack withdrawing feeling of numb
inside except when this irritability
comes out right it's not a deeper
connection to anger it's just this kind
of discharged pathway of releasing any
kind of feeling that's coming in and
this is very very common with depression
and anxiety so it can be very helpful
when we're feeling irritated and just
like our nerve endings are a little bit
raw it can be useful to check in so what
we can do is look in and get clear
what's the stimulus what am i really
frustrated about and sometimes
immediately
i can you know when we do this work we
can kind of get clear okay it's not
about the shoes what am i really
frustrated about am i really angry do i
need to set a boundary or is there
something else going on
that has me a little bit elevated that i
need to calm my nervous system calm my
body and look in to get clear did i have
something tough at work happen do i need
to create space for myself for some
other feelings that may be being pushed
down in the moment when we can get
really clear about the deeper feeling
anger in it of itself is actually going
to feel empowering it's going to move us
to set a boundary to get really clear
and ask to get our needs met whereas
this other discharge can also sometimes
lead us unfortunately into feeling
guilty about how we're operating with
other people that guilt can perpetuate
depression so we really want to watch
out that if you're somebody and i'm
absolutely in this camp that can get
kind of prickly um when you are anxious
or when you're feeling down
noticing this is really important so
that you can take care of yourself in a
different way that if i'm noticing that
i'm getting irritable i want to look in
really get clear what's going on and
then try to move forward in a different
way
[Music]
you
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