This Mental Shift Makes You Dangerously Confident
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares his journey from insecurity to confidence, highlighting the societal pressures that contribute to low self-esteem. He emphasizes the importance of internal confidence over external validation and debunks common advice like 'fake it till you make it.' The core of his message revolves around three principles: self-awareness, understanding one's core values, and developing metacognition to reprogram subconscious habits. By visualizing an ideal self and taking small steps to close the gap between current and ideal self, one can achieve genuine confidence, which in turn opens doors to opportunities and respect.
Takeaways
- 😔 Insecurity is a common struggle that many people face, often feeling overlooked and unheard in social situations.
- 🤔 The constant internal dialogue of self-doubt can be paralyzing, preventing individuals from taking action or engaging with others.
- 📱 Distractions like checking phones or apps can serve as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting insecurities.
- 🚶♂️ Feeling like an outsider even among friends can exacerbate feelings of insecurity and loneliness.
- 📺 Mainstream media often perpetuates low self-confidence, labeling confident individuals as arrogant or narcissistic.
- 🧩 The idea that a single childhood event can shape a person's self-esteem for life highlights the lasting impact of early experiences.
- 🤷♂️ Common advice like dressing better or working out may not address the root cause of confidence issues.
- 🎭 The 'fake it till you make it' approach is criticized as being superficial and easily seen through, especially by women.
- 📚 The speaker found true confidence through extensive reading and learning about psychology and the mind.
- 🔑 True confidence is described as a key that unlocks opportunities and is linked to high achievers like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk.
- 🤝 The transformation to confidence can lead to changes in how one is perceived and treated by others.
- 🤔 The difference between external and internal confidence is crucial, with the latter being unaffected by external factors.
- 🐌 The analogy of a snail on a boat illustrates the struggle between conscious efforts and subconscious programming.
- 🧘♂️ Developing metacognition through meditation is suggested as a method to understand and change subconscious patterns.
- 👤 Understanding one's core values and identity is the first step in the journey towards unlocking confidence.
- 🔍 Acknowledging past events that may have programmed insecurity and separating the self from those events is important.
- 💭 Building the skill of metacognition allows for awareness of thoughts without being controlled by them.
- 🌟 Having a clear vision of an ideal self can help identify the gap between the current self and the desired self.
- 🚶♂️ Taking small actions to close the gap between the current and ideal self is a practical approach to personal growth.
- 🕊️ Stepping into the higher self involves embodying the characteristics and habits of the ideal self, regardless of current achievements.
- 💬 Positive self-talk or affirmations can reinforce the new identity and help reprogram the subconscious mind.
- 👗 Wearing clothes that make one feel good and implementing other surface-level tactics can support the new identity.
- 🎬 Encouraging viewers to step into the hero role of their own life story, rather than being a passive extra.
Q & A
What was the speaker's experience with insecurity in social situations?
-The speaker felt insecure and treated differently in social situations, as if people didn't care about their presence or what they had to say. They experienced constant internal chatter and hyper-analysis of their every move.
How did the speaker describe the impact of mainstream media on confidence levels?
-The speaker believes that mainstream media programs people to have low confidence, portraying hyper-confident males negatively as toxic, arrogant, or narcissistic.
What common advice does the speaker mention that they found ineffective for building confidence?
-The speaker mentions that advice such as dressing nicer, going to the gym, making more eye contact, and making more money, as well as the 'fake it till you make it' approach, were ineffective for building genuine confidence.
What does the speaker consider as the key to unlocking true confidence?
-The speaker found that spending hundreds of days studying psychology and the mind provided them with the protocol to unlock true confidence.
How did the speaker's experience at a party demonstrate their transformation in confidence?
-At a party where they knew no one except the host, the speaker was able to make friends, converse comfortably, and surprise others with their well-spoken and confident demeanor, which was a stark contrast to their past self.
What is the difference between external and internal confidence according to the speaker?
-External confidence is situational and can vary depending on the context, while internal confidence remains consistent regardless of external factors. True confidence is internal and is not dependent on external validation.
What is the 'snail and boat' analogy used by the speaker to explain the subconscious mind?
-The 'snail and boat' analogy is used to illustrate the struggle between conscious effort (the snail moving north) and subconscious programming (the boat sailing south), emphasizing that without addressing the subconscious, conscious efforts may not lead to desired outcomes.
What is the first principle the speaker suggests for fixing a broken identity?
-The first principle is 'know thyself,' which involves understanding one's core values and beliefs, and acknowledging past events or programming that may have contributed to insecurity.
What skill does the speaker recommend developing to gain control over one's thoughts and emotions?
-The speaker recommends developing metacognition, the ability to think about thoughts and be aware of one's awareness, which allows for a non-attached observation of one's own mental processes.
How does the speaker define the 'higher self' and its relation to one's current identity?
-The 'higher self' is the ideal version of oneself, capable of achieving all desired goals and embodying all positive traits, including high confidence. It represents the gap between one's current identity and the ideal self, which can be bridged through conscious effort and self-improvement.
What is the importance of 'stepping into the higher self' according to the speaker?
-Stepping into the higher self is crucial as it allows one to embody the qualities and habits of the ideal self, providing justification to the subconscious mind and reducing insecurity. It's about being the version of oneself that attracts success rather than achieving success to become that version.
What is the speaker's view on the effectiveness of affirmations for building self-confidence?
-The speaker believes that affirmations can be effective in building self-confidence, but only after laying a foundation of self-belief through understanding and embodying the higher self.
What are some of the surface-level tactics the speaker suggests implementing after stepping into the higher self?
-The speaker suggests tactics such as holding eye contact, being comfortable in silence, having open body language, talking flirtatiously, and wearing clothes that make one feel good, which are all behaviors that the higher self would naturally exhibit.
Outlines
😔 Overcoming Insecurity and the Illusion of Confidence
The speaker shares their personal journey of overcoming insecurity, which was deeply rooted in societal norms and media portrayals. They describe the constant internal struggle of feeling judged and the impact it had on their social interactions. The speaker also criticizes superficial advice often found online, such as dressing better or making more money, and explains that true confidence is internal and not dependent on external validation. They discovered a protocol to unlock genuine self-assurance through extensive reading and learning about psychology, which led to a transformation in their social behavior and self-perception.
🧠 The Path to True Confidence: Understanding Internal Identity
This paragraph delves into the concept of internal versus external confidence, using the metaphor of a snail on a boat to illustrate the struggle between conscious effort and subconscious programming. The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding one's core values and identity to achieve true confidence. They suggest peeling back layers of self-perception to uncover deep-seated beliefs and addressing past traumas that may have contributed to insecurity. Additionally, the speaker introduces the idea of metacognition as a tool for self-awareness and the ability to observe one's thoughts without being influenced by them, which is crucial for personal growth and confidence building.
🌟 Embracing the Higher Self to Achieve Confidence and Success
The speaker discusses the importance of envisioning an ideal self and the gap that often exists between one's current self and this ideal. They encourage the audience to visualize and define their higher self with clarity, including habits, appearance, and behaviors. The speaker then advises taking small, consistent actions to close this gap, emphasizing that the subconscious mind does not distinguish between imagined and real experiences. They also stress the importance of adopting positive self-talk and affirmations, which can reprogram the subconscious mind when grounded in a genuine belief in one's higher self. The paragraph concludes with the speaker's personal experience of stepping into his higher self, which led to achieving goals and a shift in his self-perception and social interactions.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Insecurity
💡Confidence
💡Subconscious Mind
💡Metacognition
💡Identity
💡Ideal Self
💡Self-Talk
💡Social Strategies
💡Meditation
💡Self-Improvement
Highlights
The speaker discusses their personal journey from insecurity to confidence, highlighting the societal pressures and internal struggles that contribute to low self-esteem.
The transcript emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between external and internal confidence, and how mainstream media can influence self-perception.
The concept of 'fake it till you make it' is critiqued as a superficial approach to building confidence, suggesting that true confidence comes from within.
The speaker shares their experience of a transformative moment at a party, illustrating how personal growth can lead to noticeable changes in social interactions.
The idea that confidence is a key to unlock opportunities is presented, drawing parallels between confidence and the success of high-achieving individuals like Steve Jobs and Elon Musk.
The transcript addresses the misconception that confidence is solely about external validation and argues for the need to understand one's subconscious mind.
The importance of 'knowing thyself' is highlighted as the first principle to building a strong identity and, by extension, confidence.
The process of identifying core values and understanding past experiences that may have shaped one's identity is discussed as a method to address insecurities.
The concept of 'metacognition' is introduced as a skill to develop an awareness of one's thoughts and emotions, providing a tool to combat negative self-talk.
The transcript suggests that visualizing an ideal version of oneself can help bridge the gap between current and desired identity, fostering a sense of confidence.
The importance of taking small, consistent actions to close the gap between one's current and ideal self is emphasized as a practical step towards building confidence.
The transcript explains the psychological principle that the subconscious mind does not differentiate between imagined and real experiences, which can be leveraged to build confidence.
The concept of 'identity synthesis' is introduced, where one consciously adopts the traits of their ideal self to reprogram their subconscious mind.
The speaker shares personal strategies for establishing elite self-talk and the importance of affirmations when they are aligned with one's self-belief.
The transcript concludes with a call to action, encouraging viewers to implement surface-level tactics such as eye contact and open body language to embody confidence.
A final note on the importance of stepping into the 'hero role' of one's life, rather than remaining a passive observer, is presented as a motivational message.
Transcripts
for the majority of my life I was
insecure and people treated me
differently it's like they didn't care
what I had to say they didn't care about
my presence any social situation I was
hyper analyzing my every move this
constant internal chatter in my mind
telling me Oh I should have done that oh
I should have said that oh what should I
do uh check my phone uh calculator app
weather app it was like this constant
ball and Shane holding me back I
wouldn't go talk to the cute girl and
despite having some guy friends I never
truly felt like one of the boys but
perhaps worst of all these limitations
were holding me back from the very
experiences and accomplishments that
would in theory give me confidence and
of course my story is nothing special
we're all pretty much programmed to be
low confidence or no confidence by
mainstream media because if you're a
hyper-c confident male you're seeing as
toxic or arrogant or a narcissist or
programmed in our youth meaning one
little social mishap you had when you
were a kid could have Rewritten the code
of your brain to be more insecure for
the rest of your life and since most of
society is insecure if one person tries
to shine Above the Rest everyone tries
to pull them back down like a crab in a
bucket when you turn to the internet for
answers you get told things like oh you
just need to dress nicer you just need
to hit the gym you just need to make
more eye contact you just need to make
more money but who can forget the
classic just fake it till you make it
bro which of course I tried and I
quickly realize that that's like Dawning
a mask if anyone analyzes you whatsoever
they will quickly see through your
[ __ ] especially women for some
reason they're extra good at doing that
and it was only when I spent hundreds of
days straight cracking open books
learning about psychology learning about
the mind that I found the actual
protocol to unlock true confidence just
a couple weeks ago my friend hosted a
party and I knew absolutely zero people
attending besides my friend the host but
really quickly I was making friends
having conversations having a great time
and when I was telling one of the people
my story what I do my upbringing he was
shocked he was like I would have never
guessed you were like that based on who
you are now you're so well spoken and
confident and it made me realize yeah a
one two years ago if you put me in the
same situation I'd be pooping my pants
and now I've realized that true
confidence is like a key that unlocks
many doors you know how a janitor would
have that one key that can unlock every
classroom true confidence is the key
that unlocks all the opportunities I
mean just think about the high achieving
men like Steve Jobs Michael Jordan Elon
Musk they've all been criticized by the
average person for being delusional for
being arrogant and yet those very traits
that Hyper Elite level of confidence is
what caused those men to become above
average which by the way after you go
through this transformation and unlock
this level of confidence the average
person is going to be intimidated by you
because you threaten their ego because
you have something that they will never
have and thus they will be quick to be
like oh you're too arrogant y y but if
you want the biggest lever in attracting
girls and unlocking financial and social
opportunities and just receiving this
higher level of respect from people by
default it's crazy how much has changed
when I was younger and I would walk into
even a gas station and just the way
people looked at me or ignored me versus
now when I walk into a restaurant a gas
station anything like that just the way
I carry myself before even uttering a
word people treat me with a higher
inherent level of respect and here are
my principles to unlock dangerous levels
of confidence as soon as possible
because every day that goes by that you
sell this ball and train dragging you
back you are limiting your potential for
essentially everything but let's get
into it first off you need to understand
the difference between external and
internal confidence imagine a guy who's
really good at chess and he is in chess
club Club dominating his friend pause in
that specific situation he's feeling
good about himself he's feeling
confident but if you picked him up and
popped him in a gym surrounded by
bodybuilders suddenly he's a little
intimidated he's feeling very insecure
about himself and if you went and take
the giant bodybuilder and put him in a
chess club he'll start feeling insecure
he'll start feeling stupid and then if
Sydney Sweeney were to come up and say
hi to either of them they'd both piss
themselves true confidence is 100%
internal and remains there regardless of
external Factor this is why trying the
surface level advice of wear nice
clothes go to the gym y y y doesn't do
[ __ ] long term this is also why fake it
till you make it doesn't work because
you're putting on an act to get external
approval from other people instead of
actually becoming it him but what this
really means is that a confidence issue
is a subconscious issue and a
subconscious issue is an identity issue
so I want you to imagine being a snail
and you have a goal set and your goal is
I am going to head north so you start
moving you're slug plugging along you're
heading north but you're on a boat and
the boat is sailing South the boat
represents your subconscious mind
whereas the snail and your efforts is
just your conscious effort I mean you
can use all your conscious energy
heading north but at the end of the day
you're going to [ __ ] end up South
dude so here are my three principles for
fixing the broken identity so that you
can unlock the true effortless High
Baseline of confidence most people don't
actually know themselves on a deep level
which means they have zero Clarity on
their current identity and when that's
the case you can't really make any
long-term changes therefore principle
one is know thyself and this is not mean
oh well I'm John I'm an accountant I
have a dog name spot I'm talking about
peeling back the layers to find the core
self-image the true beliefs that you
hold about yourself which is way
different from the beliefs you hold on
the surface which is more an projection
of the ego and a quick way to peel back
some layers is to find your core values
what are things that you've always just
inherently valued both in people and in
life in general for example for me it's
always been honesty and freedom I've
always wanted to have my own way of
making money I never liked Authority in
school I didn't want to go to college I
didn't want to be a slave to debt or an
employer or even my own parents or
anything like that I always craved
freedom and a value I've always cared
about in others is trust is honesty then
what you need to do is look into your
past find any traumatic events any
programming from your parents anything
that would have programmed you to be
more insecure and acknowledge it that
way you separate your current self from
that event instead of that event
defining who you are now one of the
things for me was growing up I had a
very good friend who was much more
popular than me much better at sports
much more physically fit attracted more
girls and thus I was always in his
shadow and that created all kinds of
unconscious habits in me like being more
quiet like letting someone else do the
talking for me putting other people on
pedestals above myself and finally the
most crucial part of all this is you
need to build the skill of medical
cognition which is essentially the
ability to think about thoughts to be
aware of awareness and if that doesn't
really make sense imagine if instead of
when thoughts pop up you're identifying
with them you think it's you narrating
everything you see it you're not
attached to it and you can decide what
to do or to do anything based on that
thought or emotion imagine how much
power that gives you when your
subconscious is always trying to feed
you these negative thoughts and emotions
and get you to act on it get you to be
insecure so once you develop this skill
you can study what your subconscious is
trying defeat you and thus you will
figure out what your true identity is
because like I said the identity is what
commands the subconscious and the best
method to build this skill is a specific
type of meditation I'm not talking about
the wooi you're up in a mountain you're
meditating you're levitating you're a
monk or all these things I'm talking
about building the skill of
metacognition through very core
principles and actions through the
process of meditating and if you're
interested in doing that I have a free
5day guided Series in the description
below that you can grab after this video
whether you're aware of it or not you
have an ideal version of yourself this
is the version of yourself that is
capable of accomplishing all the things
you want in life it has all the good
habits you desire it has all the
positive traits you desire including
high levels of confidence and the thing
is you are not that you are the current
self you are the current identity that
we are working to find and understand
that most of your insecurity stems from
the fact that there is a Gap a distance
between your current self and your ideal
self and the longer you go without
working on closing that Gap The Wider it
gets and the more insecure you feel
subconsciously therefore obviously you
need to get a Clear Vision of what the
higher self means for you and this
requires some imagination some
visualization I want you to close your
eyes and imagine just for a second the
most confident version of yourself the
version of yourself that achieves every
goal that you set that can attract all
the girls and friends you desire and
that is truly the most positive version
of you what does he look like what
clothes is he wearing what are his
facial Expressions what is his daily
routine what are his habits that he has
in place and create this vision of your
higher self as clearly as you possibly
can and then you will notice the Gap and
when you paint this picture more and
more detailed gain true Clarity on the
ideal self the higher s you will then
gain Clarity on the Gap so then turn
around and take little actions in your
day-to-day life to work on closing this
Gap and you may think oh I have to reach
that version of myself it's this thing
down the line I'm like on a treadmill
it's a a cared on a stick no the moment
you start working on closing the Gap you
are removing insecurity from the
subconscious mind because here's the
thing the subconscious doesn't know the
difference between an imagined thing and
a real thing that's why making negative
jokes about yourself is actually harmful
to your identity and mood because your
subconscious doesn't even know you're
joking so you introduced this new
identity into your subconscious and then
you take actions that provide
justification to this identity I call it
identity Sy but here's the part that
everyone messes up nobody does principle
3 and that is step into the higher self
because you now have a clear vision of
who he is how he dresses how he speaks
his habits how he carries himself and
your subconscious is now primed ready
for you to step into that version of you
this is not some future you this is the
version of you that's been floating
around available for you to shift into
at any given moment you just needed the
clarity required to do so so once you
have the first two principles down you
can step into the higher self now and I
know what you're thinking but but I
haven't had all these big
accomplishments in my life yet I haven't
gotten a girlfriend I don't have the
friends yet that doesn't matter because
you're thinking about it the wrong way
you become the higher self that gets
those things you do not get those things
and then become the higher self this is
because results lag for example I would
step into the version of myself required
for a million subscribers and then later
on down the line maybe 6 months to a
year later I would then hit a million
subscribers but million subscriber Kenny
was there way before any of that happen
this is what everyone in
self-improvement gets wrong because it's
always oh becoming this becoming this
becoming this you're on a hamster wheel
there's a carrot on a stick and you
never really get there but instead of
becoming just be insecure people are
quick to disprove any positive thoughts
that pop into their mind about
themselves but if you step into your
higher self you can then disprove all of
those things because you're providing
yourself justification that no I am I am
him I am it one thing you can do right
off the bat is to establish Elite
confidence establish Elite selft talk so
of course affirmations don't work for 90
plus% of people is because deep down
they don't actually believe it but if
you just laid the foundation to have
that high level of self-belief all of
those I am affirmations actually work
and further reprogram your subconscious
mind I actually started taking this more
seriously just a couple months ago when
I was traveling I would even tell myself
I am very articulate I am a good speaker
I very confident I very charismatic and
of course I would feel good I'd go and
be comfortable in social situations but
I notice that my unconscious actions the
things I would say when I'm just in flow
Sayan speaking my body language my eye
contact everything would reflect the
very affirmations I just told myself
instead of what the old version of me
would do when entering a situation is
predict failure and find a way to avoid
it I automatically predict success and
find the way to achieve it and when
you're engaging in this positive selft
talk don't make the mistake of saying
things like they will like me you will
say things like I am extremely likable
whether they think it or not cuz like I
said earlier you want internal not
external and finally now you can
Implement all those surface level
tactics that everyone talks about like
holding eye contact being comfortable in
silence having open body language
talking flirtatiously to people wearing
clothes that make you feel good Etc all
the things that your higher self would
naturally do and listen if you don't
step into the hero role of the movie
that is your life you will forever be an
extra in someone else's so if you want
to go deeper on a full subconscious
reprogramming for things like Focus
discipline and yes confidence you can
check out mental Mastery in the
description below but here's the thing
even when you unlock the ultimate trait
that is confidence you still need to
know specific social strategies to win
someone over so click the video on the
screen right now where I break down
psychologically proven methods to make
almost anyone like you thank you for
watching bye-bye
تصفح المزيد من مقاطع الفيديو ذات الصلة
Confiance en Soi: Petites Actions, Grands Changements | Eric Flag | TEDxEcublens
Özgüvenini ZİRVEYE Çıkaracak En Etkili Yöntem
4 EASY HABITS to build extreme CONFIDENCE in any situation!
Öz(e) Güven Sanatı: Öz(e) Güven İnşa Etmek İçin Pratik Bir Rehber
Lessons on Self Confidence from a Teenager | Reece Doppenberg | TEDxYouth@Langley
I SUFFER FROM ANXIETY & LOW SELF-ESTEEM. All I want is to love and be loved.
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)