Everything I Did to Break Free from the Shackles of SHYNESS- Take Back Control of Your Life #shyness
Summary
TLDRIn this empowering video, the speaker shares her personal journey to overcome shyness, offering practical strategies for personal growth. She emphasizes the importance of self-love, social participation, and embracing mistakes as stepping stones to confidence. From spiritual practices like speaking in tongues to mastering social etiquette and articulating thoughts eloquently, the video provides a holistic approach to transforming from a shy individual into a bold, self-assured person. The message is clear: it's time to break free from the shackles of shyness and embrace one's unique value and potential.
Takeaways
- 🙏 The speaker overcame shyness by praying and asking for divine guidance to deal with it, emphasizing the importance of faith in their personal growth.
- 🗣️ Speaking in tongues was identified as a method to gain boldness, suggesting that activating spiritual strength can lead to increased confidence.
- 📚 The speaker retrained themselves to acquire life skills and knowledge that were not taught during their formative years, highlighting the importance of self-education.
- 💡 They constantly reminded themselves of their own importance and value to society, which is a strategy to combat the feelings of inadequacy often associated with shyness.
- ❤️ Mastering self-love was a significant step in overcoming shyness, as it helped to reduce the worry about others' opinions and increased self-worth.
- 🚀 The speaker intentionally did things outside their comfort zone, gradually becoming more comfortable with taking risks and facing challenges.
- 🎭 Participation in social activities and being in the center of attention was a conscious effort to overcome shyness and become more visible and involved.
- 🗣️ Practicing eloquent speech and effective communication was a deliberate action to improve articulation and express thoughts more confidently.
- 🍽️ Brushing up on social etiquette skills, such as dining and communication etiquette, helped the speaker to feel more at ease in social situations.
- 🤝 Becoming comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them was a liberating experience that helped the speaker to let go of the fear of failure.
- 🌟 Daily affirmations of boldness, confidence, and self-worth were used to reinforce a new self-image and to embody the characteristics of a courageous person.
Q & A
What was the main topic discussed in the video?
-The main topic discussed in the video is overcoming shyness and the steps the speaker took to break free from its shackles.
What did the speaker emphasize about shy people in relation to their life progress?
-The speaker emphasized that shy people often do not make it very far in life due to the limitations shyness imposes on personal growth and overall well-being.
What spiritual practice did the speaker mention as a method to overcome shyness?
-The speaker mentioned speaking in tongues as a spiritual practice that helped her overcome shyness by activating the spirit of God within her, leading to a sense of boldness.
How did the speaker approach retraining herself to overcome shyness?
-The speaker approached retraining herself by learning and teaching herself essential life skills such as communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love.
What importance does the speaker place on self-reminders for overcoming shyness?
-The speaker places great importance on self-reminders, emphasizing the need to constantly remind oneself of personal value and importance in society to combat feelings of inadequacy.
How did the speaker practice self-love as part of overcoming shyness?
-The speaker practiced self-love by mastering the art of loving herself more than anyone else on Earth, which helped her to stop worrying about others' opinions and build her confidence.
What did the speaker do to intentionally step outside her comfort zone?
-The speaker intentionally participated in social activities and took on roles that put her in the public eye, such as joining the ushering department in church and participating in social functions.
How did the speaker work on her communication skills to overcome shyness?
-The speaker worked on her communication skills by increasing her vocabulary, reading, watching foreign movies to learn pronunciation, and practicing speaking eloquently in front of a mirror.
What role did mastering social etiquette play in the speaker's journey to overcome shyness?
-Mastering social etiquette played a significant role as it equipped the speaker with the confidence to navigate social situations without feeling awkward or shy, especially in high-profile events.
How did the speaker change her attitude towards making mistakes as part of overcoming shyness?
-The speaker became comfortable with making mistakes, seeing them as a natural part of growth and learning, rather than something to fear or avoid, which helped liberate her from the fear of being perfect all the time.
What daily affirmations did the speaker use to reinforce her new identity as a confident person?
-The speaker used daily affirmations such as 'I am bold,' 'I am confident,' 'I am super intelligent,' and 'I am valuable,' repeating them as often as possible to embody the personality of a bold and confident woman.
Outlines
🙏 Overcoming Shyness Through Spiritual Awakening
The speaker begins by addressing their audience as their 'elegant family' and introduces this as a continuation of a previous video on shyness. They recap the causes and effects of shyness, emphasizing its hindrance to personal growth and social interaction. The speaker then encourages viewers to watch the previous video for a deeper understanding. They transition into sharing personal strategies for overcoming shyness, starting with a spiritual approach. In their early 20s, the speaker turned to prayer and sought divine guidance to deal with shyness. This led to an understanding and practice of speaking in tongues, which they believe helped them find an inexplicable level of boldness. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not taking this spiritual practice lightly and shares the transformative effect it had on their ability to express themselves and break free from shyness.
📚 Self-Education and the Power of Positive Self-Talk
The speaker continues by discussing the importance of self-education in overcoming shyness. They discovered that as a young adult, they lacked essential life skills and knowledge, which they felt were not adequately taught during their formative years. To address this, they embarked on a journey of self-teaching, focusing on areas such as communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love. The speaker highlights the significance of reminding oneself of their value and uniqueness, counteracting the negative self-perception often associated with shyness. They stress the importance of positive self-talk and self-affirmation as a means to build confidence and break free from the constraints of shyness.
💖 Mastering Self-Love and Social Participation
The speaker delves into the concept of self-love as a critical component in overcoming shyness. They share their personal journey of learning to love themselves deeply, which helped them worry less about others' opinions and become more self-assured. The speaker also discusses the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone by intentionally engaging in activities that were previously daunting. They provide examples such as joining the ushering department in church and participating in social functions, which helped them become more comfortable with being in the public eye and being seen by others. This active participation in social activities is presented as a key strategy in the battle against shyness.
🎭 Embracing Public Roles and Enhancing Communication Skills
The speaker recounts their experiences participating in social activities and taking on public roles, such as becoming a subguard commander during a parade and winning a beauty pageant, despite their shy nature. They highlight the importance of practice and preparation in overcoming shyness, using these experiences to build confidence. The speaker also emphasizes the need to improve communication skills by expanding vocabulary, watching foreign films to learn proper pronunciation, and practicing speaking eloquently. They discuss the value of understanding and practicing social etiquette, which helped them feel comfortable in high-level social settings, such as dining with the CEO of YouTube. The speaker concludes by discussing the liberating effect of becoming comfortable with making mistakes and the importance of learning from them, rather than fearing them.
🚀 Affirmations and the Journey to Boldness and Confidence
In the final paragraph, the speaker talks about the power of daily affirmations in shaping one's mindset and overcoming shyness. They share their personal practice of reciting positive statements about their boldness, confidence, and value, which helped them embody these traits. The speaker also reads a scripture from 2 Timothy 1:7, emphasizing the message that God does not give us a spirit of fear but one of power, love, and a sound mind. They encourage viewers to break free from shyness, to see themselves as bold, confident individuals, and to use their God-given gifts to live a fulfilling life. The speaker ends the video with an invitation for viewers to share their experiences and strategies for overcoming shyness in the comments section.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Shyness
💡Personality
💡Growth
💡Speaking in Tongues
💡Retraining
💡Self-esteem
💡Self-love
💡Comfort Zone
💡Social Etiquette
💡Mistakes
💡Affirmations
Highlights
The video is a continuation on the topic of shyness and its impact on personal growth and well-being.
Emphasizes that shy people often struggle to make significant progress in life due to their personality.
The speaker shares personal experiences and strategies to overcome shyness.
A call to prayer and seeking divine guidance as a first step to overcoming shyness.
Introduction of the concept of speaking in tongues as a method to gain boldness and break free from shyness.
The importance of retraining oneself and acquiring life skills not learned in formative years.
Self-teaching on communication, self-esteem, confidence, respect, and self-love as key to overcoming shyness.
The power of self-affirmation and reminding oneself of personal value and importance.
Mastering the art of self-love to mitigate concerns about others' opinions.
The benefits of stepping out of one's comfort zone and facing challenges head-on.
Participation in social activities and taking on visible roles to combat shyness.
Winning the Miss NYC pageant as a testament to overcoming shyness and gaining confidence.
Practicing eloquent speech and effective communication as a means to boost confidence.
Brushing up on social etiquette skills to feel more comfortable in social situations.
Becoming comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them as part of personal growth.
Daily affirmations of boldness, confidence, and intelligence to embody a courageous personality.
A scripture reading from 2 Timothy 1:7 to encourage boldness and reject shyness in utilizing God-given gifts.
A final call to action for viewers to break free from shyness and embrace a bold, confident life.
Transcripts
hey my elegant family this is a
continuation video of the topic called
shyness that we started dealing with
from last week in last week's video I
shared with you some of the causes of
shyness and why some people or most
people have actually embod this
personality or emotion called shinness
and then I also shared how it can affect
you as an individual how it can hamper
with your growth your overall wellbe and
just humer with everything good about
your life I also emphasize on the fact
that people who are shy never make it
very far in life so if you haven't
watched that video I very much highly
advise that you go and watch that video
first then you come back and continue
watching this one because in this part
I'm going to be sharing with you the
things that I did to break free from the
shackles of shyness yes it's very
possible to break free from the shackles
of shyness and I'm going to be telling
you everything that I did to break free
so let's get right into it shall we
before we get right into the video for
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the very first thing that I did when I
said to myself that this shyness was not
going to take a hold of me anymore this
was in my early 20s I said mm M this
wasn't going to happen anymore was I
prayed to God about it and asked him to
show me how to deal with it I'm a Jesus
girly I'm the kind of girl who knows
that she has a father who she can go to
talk to and ask for help and at that
early age I was already big on um loving
God and understanding um My Life as a
child of God so I remember one day in
church this thing was just so annoying I
couldn't take it anymore and I remember
during the service I just asked God can
you tell me how to deal with this thing
called shyness and that was when I
actually came into the understanding of
this thing called speaking in tongues if
you are a child of God watching this
video and you are spirit filled right do
not I repeat do not play around or joke
around with speaking in tongues now
speaking in tongues in from where I come
from is a language of the spirit and
there is a certain level of boldness
that is inexplainable that takes charge
of you as a person when you actually
activate that spirit of God within you
by speaking in tongues I tell you that
was the first thing that I did and for
the first time I think it was after a
week after that prayer that I made to
God that I listen to a message about
speaking in tongues and how to speak in
tongues to charge yourself up and I tell
you from that day till this day I have
spoken in tongu so freaking much that I
actually started to see I have I said I
started to experience this thing called
boldness well up from within me the
first time in my life I could talk talk
to someone and say no I didn't like what
you did for the first time in my life I
could express myself and this is
actually what worked for me I started
speaking in tongues more earnestly and I
took on this um personality of a very
bold person I can't explain it it's a
mystery and I really don't want to go
deep into it because I mean I know I
have we have a lot of people on this
channel who are not all Christians but
if you're a Christian who is filled with
the Holy Spirit don't take speaking in
tongues lightly at all okay the second
thing that I did to break free from the
shackles of shyness was I started to
retrain myself I discovered that as a 21
yearold adult there was so many things I
didn't know I had very limited knowledge
I was functioning with very limited
knowledge like knowledge about life
trainings and skills that I needed to
thrive because they were not taught me
at an early age by my Guardians and my
parents at the time again I don't blame
them for it but there are certain things
that we all need in our formative years
to help us grow and develop into
mature responsible adults that were
supposed to have been taught us things
like how to communicate properly things
like self-esteem having a great
self-esteem things like building your
confidence so many things like respect
how to show respect to yourself How To
Love Yourself how to love others those
are real life things that should have
been taught us as children in our
formative years but wearing Tau to some
of us unfortunately so because I quickly
realized that I was living life with
very
limited knowledge at the time I had to
go and start retraining myself and
teaching myself these things I started
teaching myself how to be a more
confident lady I started teaching myself
how to communicate more confidently and
effectively I started teaching myself
how to respect myself how to Value
myself how to respect others I started
teaching myself little principles like
kindness loyalty being honest those
little little things that you think are
insignificant are things that actually
help build up shape of a person's
personality and I had to start teaching
myself that all over again as a 21
yearold adult trust me it wasn't the
easiest thing to do but I'm so glad that
I did it next thing I did was I
constantly reminded myself that I
mattered so much in the grand scheme of
things and that I was useful and had
something of value to offer
Society now timid shy people always
think that they are the ones who who are
not good enough that's why they are
always the ones seated by the corner
like they always just like this like
hiding away and not wanting anyone to
see them or notice them that's how you
know a shy person but I tell you when
you have REM when you constantly remind
yourself that you are important and that
you matter in the grand scheme of things
nobody else is better than you I'm
telling you for free there's nobody like
you nobody can be better than you you
can only be the best of yourself as much
as you have developed your confidence
and your self-esteem and your self-love
so tell yourself every single day that
in the grand scheme of things you two
are important you have something to
offer this world you have something to
offer Society it's not only people who
you think are bold and confident no
acquire those things that pep talking
yourself up and constantly remind
yourself I am valuable I have things
offer Society I know that I'm good
enough I know that I'm worthy those are
the things I said telling myself and
before I knew it I started breaking free
from the shackles of what shyness before
we go on with the video remember that we
have the art of speaking eloquently and
elegantly CA is currently up on discount
you don't want to miss it we're taking
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access the course as well okay now this
course is important if you trying to
level up on your communication skills be
an eloquent speaker know how to um
effectively communicate your thoughts
and your ideas and your feelings without
feeling shy and awkward and timid and
easily intimidated that cost is
definitely for you okay so go get your
hands on it let's get right back into
the video next thing I did was I
mastered the art of self-love this
helped me stop worrying so much about
what people thought about me as a human
being
I mastered the art of loving myself like
right now I don't think that there's
anybody on the surface of this Earth
that loves me more than I love myself I
know that I'm abundantly loved by God by
the people around me but you see my own
love the love I have for myself it's
like one of the greatest loves I can
ever I can ever imagine so I mastered
that Art of Loving myself we have a
video on this channel where I went deep
I went deep into the topic of self love
please go look for that video and watch
that video so that you can really
understand the concept of selflove and
start loving yourself today because as a
shy person you really need a big dose of
selflove to break out of the shackles of
shyness the next thing I did was I
intentionally started to do things that
were outside my comfort zone yes and I
did it one step at a time one day at a
time and what I quickly realized was the
moment I did something
once right I I became if it became
easier to do it a second time the first
time around might be a little bit
awkward but I broke myself free I'm like
no no no I'm going to do this I don't
care who's looking at me I don't care if
I make a mistake I don't care I'm just
going to get this thing done and I found
out that the minute I did it it became
so easy to do it the second time I'll
give you an example back then like I
said I didn't want to be seen I didn't
like being seen in public I
intentionally decided to join the
ushering department in church and you
you guys know that aers are literally
like the center of attention when
they're trying to guide people to their
seat and show people their ways and all
I joined the aering Department in church
so that I could be a master at letting
people watch me and see me without me
getting shy or intimidated apart from
church I did a lot of ushering jobs for
social functions when I was in my when I
was in the University as well so just I
broke free from that and I'm like I
don't care who's watching I'm just going
to do this thing and be I'm and be
excellent at it so whatever it is that
is your own comfort zone try to break
free from it try to take it one step at
a time and break free from it and I
Promise You by doing that you're
literally breaking the shackles of
shyness this next point is somehow
connected to the last point and it is I
intentionally participated in social
activities and made sure I was right at
the center in the view of everyone
instead of being at the back hiding in
the crowd
guys it was around this time that I also
went to um uh we did the NYC I went to
the NYC orientation Camp if you live in
Nigeria you know that after after
University you have to go for the onee
NYSC orientation camp for 3 weeks in a
camp where everyone is just together I
participated in all of the activities
that was where I actually contested for
Miss NYC and I
won
yes I um I I will put pictures if I have
pictures this was a shy timid girl who
said no no no no no I'm going to
intentionally participate in these
social activities because this shyness
will not keep me bound so I went on
participated in the NYC Miss NYC pant
and I won I was in platoon 5 I won for
my platoon I was a subguard commander in
the match parade and my platoon platoon
5 also came first we won first place in
the match pass and I was the subguard
commander the subguard commander is the
commander is in front then you have two
subguard commanders before you now have
the remaining people who are Marching so
there's the commander subguard commander
and then the remaining people in the
match in the match parade I was one of
the subguard
commanders the shy awkward girl who said
mm- I'm not going to let this shyness
take a hold of me I'm going to
participate in Social functions and I
will let people see me I must be seen I
also participated in in the cooking
competition I did a lot of things of
course that wasn't easy for me to do but
what actually made it easy was I I
practiced I remember during the pageant
when I was practicing and rehearsing for
the pageant when everybody has gone
ahead to sleep in Camp I will be up on
my bed reading questions on
understanding the questions the kind of
questions that I will be asked during
the pageant I'll be doing the dance I
asked some of my roommates to teach me
how to do the dance and guys I was Miss
NYC a shy te me intimidated intimidated
girl I did the damn thing if I could I
tell you you can the next thing I did
was I started practicing how to speak
eloquently and articulate my thoughts
effectively by doing things like
increasing my word Bank reading a lot
listening to the news when I'm watching
a movie I'm intentional about learning
how they pronounce their words so um no
shade to Nollywood movies I stopped
watching Nollywood movies for for a long
while and I started watching um foreign
movies cuz I I felt to myself that if I
was going to be a master at English
language I needed to start watching the
people who the language originated from
their from like so I start watching a
lot of Hollywood movies and when I'm
watching I'm not watching for just
entertainment alone I was only I was
also watching for education I would
listen to how they pronounce their words
and I would always ensure that I
practice it um when I was all by myself
I remember those times when I was stand
in front of the mirror and I'm talking I
remember there was a time in my life I
used to pronounce cucumber as cucumber I
used to pronounce pineapple as pineapple
I don't know there's a way they
pronounce it I can't pronounce it that
that ugly way anymore I used to
pronounce these things as in a very
weird way and those things hampered with
my with my communication skills and
being able to um um articulate my
thoughts effectively so when I started
to learn I started to understand how to
pronounce my words correctly it welded
up this boldness and confidence in me
and now I can speak to any freaking
person at any freaking time without
being with so much
confidence that can be you as well okay
the next thing I did was I brushed up on
my social etiquette skills I mastered
the art of dining etiquette
communication etiquette corporate
etiquette social etiquette think about
all the etiquette when you're on a
dining table how do you behave when I
remember when I was when I traveled to
Paris to meet the CEO of YouTube
we were treated to a five cost dinner
and we're about I think we're about in
all we were about maybe um 12 to 15 of
us on the table I was the only black
girl from Africa on that table I mean
because I was already well armed in the
knowledge of dining etiquette I knew
exactly what I what what I was doing or
what I was supposed to do the there were
lots of table um there were lots of um
Cutlery on the table the glass wees that
had the wine the GL the the wine glass
the water glass it had different plates
I knew exactly what was going to be
saved at what time I knew how to hold my
knife and my correctly and because
of that I wasn't awkward I didn't feel
awkward I wasn't shy I wasn't timid
because I was already well armed in
dining etiquette and of course
communication etiquette because I was
meeting a lot of people there for the
very first time I wasn't shy I was the
boldest girl in the room in fact for an
African black girl who everyone thinks
oh you should be some kind of way I was
the boldest in the ran that definitely
gave me an advantage so please brush up
on your social etiquette skills okay the
next thing I did was I became very
comfortable with making mistakes this
for me it was the most liberating part
of the whole experience because the
reason one of the major reasons why I
was always timid and shy was I was
afraid I was too scared of making
mistakes but everybody makes mistakes
like I said before even the adults the
parents
they all make mistakes everyone makes
mistakes because everyone is on
different levels on their growth and
their knowledge Journey now making the
mistake is not where the problem is is
what you do after you've made that
mistake do you learn from the mistake
correct yourself pick up the pace and
keep going or do you wallow in the
mistake what do you do when you have
made a mistake that's where the problem
is so I immediately realize okay
everybody makes
mistakes making mistake is not a bad
thing it's what I do after I made that
mistake that determines whether it is
bad or good and that for me was when I
started to liberate myself from the
shackles of trying to always do the
right thing all the time being prim and
proper all the time being perfect all
the time that's not very um sustainable
or attainable and it's okay to make
mistakes and then the last point that I
put down here of the thing I did to
actually break free from the shackles of
bondage is I started affirming and
believing
these words every day words like I am
bold I am confident I am super
intelligent I have an extraordinary
amplitude of comprehension in my path
there is no such thing as timidity no
such thing as fear no such thing as
shyness I am very bold and confident in
expressing my thoughts articulating my
ideas I matter I'm important I'm
valuable I will say this as many times
in a day as possible until I embodied
the personality of a bold confident and
a super courageous woman that's the
woman that you all see here today before
I go I'm going to read a scripture from
2 Timothy 1:7 I'm a Jesus girly and for
those who are watching that literally
want to break free from this bondage
this scripture will do you a lot of good
so it's 2 Timothy chap 1: 7 and I'm
going to read it from
the message translation it says God
doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts
but bold and loving and
sensible that same scripture in King
James version is for God had not given
us the spirit of fear but of power and
of love and of a sound mind I prefer the
message translation because because it
uses that word shy it says God doesn't
want us to be shy with his gifts but
bold and loving and sensible God has
bombarded a lot of gifts inside of you
the fact that you have a brain eyes that
see nose that smell mouths that speak
hands that move legs that keep you going
those are gifts that God has given to
you and God expects you to use those
gifts to produce results and make your
life on this Earth very beautiful and
valuable and you cannot do that if you
are a shy or an awkward or a teamate
person I tell you opportunities will
continue to pass you by if you continue
to stay within the confines of the
shackles of shinness so it's up to you
today to Break Free Break yourself free
tell it enough is enough I'm not going
to let you hold me bound no more I'm not
going to let you keep me down anymore
more I am a bold confident courageous
person because God does not want me shy
with his gifts but he wants me bold he
wants me loving and of course he wants
me
sensible that's pretty much all I have
for you for today's video I hope you
have watched till the end if there is a
point that you think that can also help
us embody this um art of boldness and
confidence please do well to leave us a
comment in the comment section down
below so we can all continue to learn
I'll see you all next time with another
beautiful episode until then remember to
stay very elegant take care
[Music]
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