What To Do If She Has a Boyfriend BUT You Want Her
Summary
TLDRThe video script delves into the complexities of women's desires in relationships, highlighting the dichotomy between attraction and security. It suggests that women may seek external relationships to fulfill unmet needs, such as excitement if their current partner provides stability but lacks allure. The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate how understanding a woman's unaddressed desires can lead to a successful pursuit. The narrative also touches on the concepts of pre-selection and hypergamy, emphasizing the importance of demonstrating value and trustworthiness over time to win a woman's affection.
Takeaways
- 👥 Relationships can be lacking in certain aspects, leading individuals to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
- 💔 Even in strong relationships, attraction can fade, causing dissatisfaction and a search for excitement.
- 🔒 When a partner provides security and protection, the individual may seek external attraction and excitement.
- 💡 Understanding the dynamics of a relationship can reveal what is missing and how one might fill that void.
- 🔄 People often seek the opposite of what they currently have, as seen in the transition from one relationship to another.
- 🤔 Long-term attraction and satisfaction are complex and can evolve over time, leading to new desires.
- 👂 Listening to someone's relationship struggles can provide insight into their unmet needs and desires.
- 🚀 Demonstrating qualities that are missing in someone's life can make you an attractive alternative.
- 🌟 Being the 'fun' or 'adventure' person can be appealing, even to those in relationships, as a form of escape.
- 📈 Consistently showing up as a better option over time can lead to being considered a more suitable partner.
- 📚 The speaker offers a coaching program to help improve communication and dating skills, addressing blind spots and goals.
Q & A
What is the main issue some women face in relationships according to the transcript?
-The main issue some women face in relationships, as described in the transcript, is the lack of a certain element that they are seeking to fill, such as attraction, connection, security, or trust, depending on what is missing in their current relationship.
What does the transcript suggest about the role of attraction in a relationship?
-The transcript suggests that attraction is a crucial element in a relationship, and its absence can lead to dissatisfaction, even if other aspects like security and trust are present.
What is the term used in the transcript to describe a man who can spark attraction in a woman's life?
-The term used in the transcript to describe such a man is 'a dude that can spark the attraction and create that lustful kind of an effect'.
How does the transcript describe the relationship dynamic where a woman feels secure but lacks attraction?
-The transcript describes this dynamic as one where the woman has her safety, security, and protection needs met, but the relationship is dull and lacks the excitement and attraction that she craves.
What is the term 'pre-selection' mentioned in the transcript, and how does it relate to attraction?
-Pre-selection refers to the phenomenon where a person is seen as more attractive because they are already chosen or desired by others. In the context of the transcript, it's a factor that can increase attraction in a relationship.
What is the term 'hypergamy' mentioned in the transcript, and how does it relate to relationships?
-Hypergamy is the practice of marrying or forming relationships with individuals of higher social status. In the transcript, it's mentioned as a real phenomenon where a woman may be drawn to a man who is perceived as a better option over time.
How does the transcript suggest a woman might seek to fill the void in her current relationship?
-The transcript suggests that a woman might seek to fill the void by either stepping out of her current relationship to find what's missing, or by being attracted to someone who can provide that missing element.
What is the advice given in the transcript for someone who wants to understand a woman's needs in a relationship?
-The advice given is to engage in conversation with the woman, preferably as a friend, to understand what is missing in her current relationship and potentially become the solution to that void.
How does the transcript describe the strategy of being 'the fun adventure guy'?
-The strategy of being 'the fun adventure guy' involves not focusing on the woman's current relationship status and instead being the source of excitement and adventure, similar to a 'rock star' persona.
What is the long-term approach suggested in the transcript for someone to become a better option in a woman's life?
-The long-term approach involves consistently demonstrating that you are a better option over time, showing pre-selection, and being present in her life, which can lead her to consider you as a more attractive and suitable partner.
What is the offer presented by the speaker at the end of the transcript?
-The speaker offers a coaching program where he will work one-on-one with individuals to analyze and improve their communication, pickup skills, and overall approach to dating and relationships.
Outlines
🔄 The Dynamics of Attraction and Relationship Fulfillment
This paragraph discusses the complexities of women's desires within relationships. It suggests that women may seek to fill a void in their lives, whether they are in a relationship or not. The speaker describes two scenarios: one where a woman is in a relationship with a strong provider but lacks attraction, and another where the woman is with someone who offers high attraction but lacks comfort and connection. The paragraph also touches on the idea of hypergamy and pre-selection, where women may be drawn to someone who can provide what they are currently lacking in their lives. The speaker uses personal anecdotes to illustrate his points, highlighting the importance of understanding what a woman might be missing in order to potentially become a solution to her needs.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Attraction
💡Provider
💡Connection
💡Security
💡Trust
💡Pre-selection
💡Hypergamy
💡Craving
💡Dynamic
💡Demonstration
💡Coaching Program
Highlights
Women in relationships may be deprived of certain aspects they seek to fill, such as attraction or security.
Some women in relationships have strong providers but lack attraction, leading them to seek it elsewhere.
A woman with a secure relationship might still crave attraction and excitement.
A woman's next relationship might be chosen to compensate for what was lacking in the previous one.
Attraction and comfort are often sought in different relationships, indicating a balance is desired.
The speaker dated a woman who sought comfort and connection after a relationship high in attraction but low in security.
Understanding a woman's current relationship dynamics can help predict what she might be missing.
Engaging in casual conversations with a woman can reveal what aspects of her relationship she is unsatisfied with.
Being a non-judgmental friend can allow a woman to open up about her relationship issues.
Observing what a woman is missing can potentially position you as a solution to her needs.
The speaker's girlfriend was initially in a relationship that lacked the excitement she craved.
Demonstrating pre-selection and maintaining your own life can make you an attractive alternative.
Being the 'fun guy' can be appealing even when a woman is in a relationship, offering a different kind of attraction.
Understanding a woman's relationship and demonstrating you are a better option over time can lead to success.
Hypergamy and pre-selection are real concepts that can influence a woman's choice in a partner.
Building trust and showing you are a better option can eventually lead a woman to consider you as a partner.
The speaker offers a coaching program to help improve communication and dating skills.
Transcripts
so a lot of these women whether they're
in a relationship or not there's certain
things that women will be deprived of
and they're seeking to fill that void
now some girls are in a relationship
where they have a very strong provider
but maybe that dude is not very good at
creating attraction maybe this just kind
of died out it's become very dull right
and there's just not that much
attraction but he's still providing the
other side of things like the connection
and the security and the trust it's just
like one side of it is extremely dull
now that girl who already has a big side
of her Safety and Security and
protection being provided to her life
she's not really looking for those
things externally because like she's
satisfied with that but you know what
she is looking for is that dude that can
spark the attraction and create that
lustful kind of an effect in her life
sometimes when girls step out it may
only be to fill a certain side now
that's just one example it could be the
complete opposite like to give you some
perspective a girl that I dated a couple
years back I was almost all attraction
and no comfort and connection the sex
was amazing and I was very very flirty
and the attraction was spiked super high
and I was triggering pre-selection all
of that was in place but she didn't feel
very secure in the relationship now that
girl once our relationship ended I saw
the next dude she dated and it's no
coincidence that the next dude she dated
was more comfort and connection less
attraction you could tell he was a
little bit more of a provider he still
had a little bit of Attraction but like
my relationship Dynamic was like this it
was as if she went the opposite way on
the next relationship because in the
moment when she's leaving that
relationship she never had that part
satisfied so now she's really craving
that as a selective indicator for her
for the next dude she's dating so when
she saw that in the next man that was a
big boost for her what she doesn't
realize though is that down the road two
three four years later with that dude
well the attraction's still low and
she's still kind of craving that side
too that's just a human tendency we're
naturally drawn to the things that we're
kind of craving or deprived of and this
is a little bit more advanced but if
you're talking to a girl who's been
dating somebody especially if you guys
are all just hanging out as friends you
can ask her like what's going on are you
guys guys are about to break up you guys
have been fighting like what's the
problem she'll tell you what the [ __ ]
going on because you're just a dude your
friends as long as you're not displaying
intent she'll be able to discuss those
things with you and then you could
pretty much conclude like what's missing
that's how I got my girlfriend when I
started talking to my girlfriend she was
with another dude but she wasn't fully
happy they were dating they were talking
but she would still talk to me a lot
because we were friends and as she was
telling me all this stuff I started to
see what the [ __ ] was missing from their
Dynamic the more you can see what the
girl is Missing in her own life the more
you could potentially be the solution to
that like there's two different ways
that you could have played this one of
them is you don't bring up the boyfriend
at all and you're just like the fun guy
fun adventure guy almost like a like a
rock star or Dan Bilzerian kind of a guy
like think about that like girls will be
in a relationship and they'll still want
to [ __ ] damn because he's just super
party dude no judgment I got all these
women around like we're just having sex
not a big deal you could go back and do
your thing the other way is if you are
talking about the relationship
understand you're probably not going to
get her that night it's gonna be more of
like a long-term demonstration that
you're the better option and as that
other dude continues to [ __ ] up
consistently and you're in her life
demonstrating that you are the guy over
time she will start thinking about you
inevitably if you are playing things
right I mean I'm a prime example of that
like I was talking to my girl she was
with this other dude it wasn't going
well we were friends I was still
demonstrating pre-selection I was still
doing my own thing but over time I
clearly indicated that I was the better
option and hypergamy is a real thing
guys like pre-selection and hypergly
they're real things that if over time
the girl sees that you are the better
option and she could trust you and all
of these pieces are in place like you
could get the girl I hope you guys
enjoyed this video if you're interested
in implementing any of the concepts
taught in this video I have a brand new
coaching program where you can actually
work with me one-on-one I'm going to
analyze your communication your pickup
skills your game and assess where you're
at point out your blind spots your
sticking points show you the
step-by-step process as well to take you
from where you're at right now to
accomplishing your goals with women and
dating click the link in the description
fill out that application pick out a day
the time for that consultation call and
I'll be talking to you guys soon until
next time coach Kyle signing out peace
out guys
[Music]
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