Marriage - 3 Part Series
Summary
TLDRDeacon Rowley, in a series of discussions at Saint Augustine's parish, explores the sacrament of marriage, its origins, and its significance in Christian faith. He delves into the importance of preparation for marriage, the role of dating in discerning a life partner, and the sanctity of the conjugal act. He addresses contemporary issues such as divorce, annulment, and the church's stance on contraception, advocating for natural family planning and the pursuit of holiness in relationships.
Takeaways
- 💒 The sacrament of marriage is a sacred institution in the Catholic faith, rooted in the teachings of the Old and New Testaments, including the story of the wedding at Cana where Jesus performed his first miracle.
- 🌱 The Catholic Church views marriage as a divine calling, allowing a man and woman to share in God's creation through procreation, which is seen as a beautiful and sacred gift.
- 👫 Marriage is not the only vocation; the Church recognizes and respects the vocation of being single, which can also be a path of following Jesus' example of dedication to God.
- 📚 The Church requires marriage preparation courses, emphasizing the importance of long-term planning and understanding of the commitment involved in marriage.
- 👥 Dating is presented as a starting point for preparing for marriage, a time to understand oneself, one's values, and to build a strong foundation for a future relationship.
- 🤝 The story of Deacon Rowley's daughter and her fiancé illustrates the importance of respect and self-restraint in dating, highlighting the value of waiting for marriage to express physical intimacy.
- 🏠 The Church insists that marriages should be sanctified in a church setting, emphasizing the presence of God and the community as essential to the sacrament.
- 🔄 The Church offers programs like Retrouvaille for couples experiencing difficulties, providing a structured approach to healing and reconciliation.
- 🚫 In cases of abuse or irreconcilable differences, the Church acknowledges the possibility of separation and even divorce, while maintaining the sanctity of the original union.
- ⚖️ Annulments are a process within the Catholic Church for those who have been divorced and wish to remarry within the Church, involving a detailed examination of the union.
- 🚫 The Church opposes the use of artificial contraception, advocating instead for natural family planning methods that respect the integrity of the marital act and foster deeper intimacy between spouses.
Q & A
What is the significance of discussing the sacrament of marriage in a church setting according to the transcript?
-The church setting is significant for discussing the sacrament of marriage because it is a place of spiritual presence and reverence. It is where many weddings have taken place, symbolizing God's presence and blessing on the union of a man and a woman.
What is the biblical basis for the sacrament of marriage as mentioned in the transcript?
-The biblical basis for the sacrament of marriage is found in the book of Genesis, where God created man and woman in His image and likeness, and declared their union as 'one flesh'. Additionally, the New Testament highlights the wedding at Cana, where Jesus performed His first miracle, sanctifying the event.
How does the speaker connect the story of the wedding feast of Cana to the sanctification of marriage?
-The speaker connects the story of the wedding feast of Cana to the sanctification of marriage by pointing out that Jesus' first miracle, turning water into wine, occurred at a wedding. This act signifies Jesus' recognition and sanctification of marriage as an important institution.
What is the speaker's view on the importance of procreation within the sacrament of marriage?
-The speaker views procreation as a beautiful gift from God, allowing a man and a woman to share in creation with Him. It is an integral part of the sacrament of marriage, symbolizing the unity and continuity of life.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of recognizing and respecting singleness as a vocation?
-The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing singleness as a vocation to highlight that it is a valid and noble calling, just like marriage. It allows individuals to fully dedicate themselves to God's will, following the example of Jesus, who was single.
What does the speaker suggest about the preparation for marriage in comparison to other life milestones?
-The speaker suggests that while people often invest significant time and effort into preparing for events like graduations and careers, similar dedication should be given to preparing for marriage. This includes understanding what one wants in a spouse and what kind of life they want to build together.
What is the role of dating according to the speaker's perspective in the preparation for marriage?
-According to the speaker, dating serves as a testing ground to understand oneself and to see how one's personality meshes with another's. It is the beginning of the preparation for a lifelong commitment and an opportunity to explore the potential for a future marriage.
Can you provide an example from the transcript that illustrates the importance of self-restraint during courtship?
-The example provided is about the speaker's daughter and her boyfriend who, during their courtship, chose not to engage in kissing to demonstrate respect and the seriousness of their relationship. This act of self-restraint showed their commitment to each other and their desire to build a relationship based on more than physical attraction.
What does the speaker suggest about the importance of including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and marriage?
-The speaker suggests that including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and marriage is crucial as it ensures that the union is centered around faith and divine love. It is not just about the ceremony or the physical aspects but about standing before God as husband and wife, inviting Jesus to be part of their life together.
How does the speaker address the issue of broken relationships and the possibility of healing within the church's perspective?
-The speaker addresses the issue of broken relationships by acknowledging that life isn't perfect and the church recognizes this. The church offers programs like Retrouvaille for couples to work on their issues. If a couple decides to divorce, the church still sees their union as significant and provides a path for annulment, allowing them to seek healing and possibly remarry within the church.
What is the church's stance on contraception and family planning as presented in the transcript?
-The church's stance, as presented in the transcript, is to move away from the contraceptive mentality and towards natural family planning. The church supports methods that respect the natural cycles of the body and promote a deeper understanding and intimacy between spouses, aligning with God's plan for creation.
Outlines
🛍️ The Sacrament of Marriage and its Divine Origin
Deacon Rowley Cuomo discusses the sacrament of marriage in a church setting, emphasizing its sacredness and divine intention. He references the creation story from Genesis, highlighting God's creation of man and woman in His image and the scriptural directive for a man to leave his parents and become one flesh with his wife. The talk also touches on Jesus' first miracle at the Wedding Feast of Cana, illustrating the sanctification of marriage through this event. Furthermore, Deacon Cuomo addresses the vocation of both marriage and singleness, pointing out that while many choose marriage, single individuals also follow Jesus' path by dedicating their lives to God.
💍 Preparing for Marriage and its Significance
The speaker, Deacon Rowley, transitions into the topic of preparing for marriage, drawing parallels with the extensive preparations made for other life milestones such as graduation or career choices. He stresses the importance of investing time and thought into understanding what one wants in a spouse and the nature of marriage itself. Deacon Rowley mentions the Catholic Church's requirement for a marriage preparation course, advocating for a long-term perspective on marriage preparation that begins early, even in high school. He also explores the purpose of dating as a means of testing compatibility and personality traits with a potential partner, ultimately serving as the foundation for a lifelong commitment.
🤔 The Importance of Chastity and Courtship
Deacon Rowley shares a personal story about his youngest daughter's courtship, highlighting the young man's decision to abstain from kissing until marriage as a demonstration of respect and commitment. This act of self-restraint is presented as an example of the importance of knowing one's values and beliefs during the dating process. The speaker encourages dating with integrity, suggesting that couples should be aware of their own strengths and weaknesses and take precautions to avoid compromising situations. He also touches on the broader cultural context, contrasting Hollywood's portrayal of relationships with the Church's teachings on chastity and holiness in singleness and dating relationships.
🏛️ The Sanctity of Marriage and the Role of the Church
Continuing the discussion on marriage, Deacon Rowley emphasizes the Catholic Church's stance on the sanctity of marriage, explaining that the Church insists on couples being married within its confines to be in the presence of God. He speaks about the importance of having Jesus at the center of the marriage, bringing the couple together and ensuring that the marriage is blessed with fidelity and rewards. The speaker also addresses the planning of the wedding ceremony, advising couples to consider the spiritual significance of the event and to invite Jesus to the wedding, thus keeping God at the heart of their union.
🔄 Healing Broken Relationships and the Church's Support
Deacon Rowley addresses the reality of broken relationships and the Church's approach to healing and reconciliation. He mentions the possibility of separation as a means for couples to reflect on their actions and behaviors within the marriage. The speaker introduces the 'Retrouvaille' program, a Church-supported initiative aimed at helping struggling couples to renew their marriage through intensive weekends and follow-up sessions. Despite the challenges, he notes the high success rate of couples who engage in this process, but also acknowledges that not all marriages can be saved, leading some couples to seek divorce.
🏛️ Annulments and the Church's Perspective on Divorce
The speaker delves into the process of annulment within the Catholic Church, explaining it as a means for a divorced couple to seek the Church's recognition that their marriage was not a true sacrament. This process involves a thorough examination of the marriage, including testimonies and an evaluation by a tribunal. Deacon Rowley stresses the Church's desire for couples to remain chaste during this process, with the hope of being able to remarry within the Church and maintain sacramental graces. He also encourages individuals to educate themselves on the Church's teachings regarding separation, divorce, and annulment through the catechism.
🚫 Moving Beyond Contraception Towards Natural Family Planning
In the final paragraph, Deacon Rowley challenges the prevalent contraceptive mentality, advocating instead for an openness to God's plan for creation and family. He critiques the use of artificial contraception, arguing that it hinders the true intimacy and unselfish love that should characterize the conjugal act. The speaker promotes natural family planning methods as a way to foster a deeper understanding and connection between spouses, allowing them to make decisions about conception in harmony with their faith. He also suggests that there are other ways to express love beyond sexual intercourse and encourages further exploration of the Church's teachings on family planning and marriage.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Sacrament of Marriage
💡Unity
💡Procreation
💡Vocation
💡Marriage Preparation
💡Dating
💡Chastity
💡Annulment
💡Contraception
💡Conjugal Act
💡Natural Family Planning
Highlights
Deacon Rowley discusses the sacrament of marriage in a church setting, emphasizing the sacredness of the institution.
The Old Testament's account of creation is cited as the origin of the unity between man and woman.
The New Testament's story of the Wedding Feast of Cana is highlighted as Jesus' first miracle, sanctifying marriage.
Marriage is presented as a sharing in God's creation through procreation, a gift from God.
The importance of recognizing singleness as a vocation, similar to marriage, is underscored.
The necessity of marriage preparation courses before marrying in the Catholic Church is mentioned.
Dating is described as a testing ground for future life commitments and a part of marriage preparation.
A personal story illustrates the importance of self-restraint and respect in dating, leading to a successful marriage.
The role of chastity in dating and its significance in following God's path is discussed.
The importance of including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and the marriage itself is highlighted.
The church's stance on broken relationships and the potential for healing through separation and reconciliation is explored.
The process of annulment within the Catholic Church is explained, emphasizing the need for civil divorce first.
The church's view on contraception as a barrier to true intimacy in marriage is presented.
Natural family planning is introduced as an alternative to contraception, fostering a deeper connection between spouses.
The catechism of the Catholic Church is recommended for further understanding of marriage, separation, divorce, and annulment.
The importance of exploring natural family planning and its impact on the couple's relationship is emphasized.
Transcripts
play again uh Deacon Rowley Cuomo
back with you I hope so far the course
has gone well and that you know these
little shots we're having are
informative for you we're in a different
place today we're here at Saint
Augustine's parish in Ponoka actually
quite a beautiful little country church
we have some uh this beautiful altar
here a beautiful sanctuary and I thought
that given that we're talking about a
very very special thing today the
sacrament of marriage matrimony
what what better place would there be
than to be in the presence of God to be
here in his church
here on the altar where many
weddings have happened taken place in
the presence of God
so let's talk a little bit about
about the sacrament of marriage in God's
intention here for that sacrament
I know you've you've read no doubt the
story of creation the first book of
Genesis where God made man and woman
when he made the Men's image in his
likeness
and he created them
and he knew what he had created was good
and in the words of scripture he said
a man will leave
his mother and father and joined with
his wife and the two will become one
flesh
so there we have right in the Old
Testament kind of the you know the
origin of couples that that origin of of
unity of man and woman
if we move along into the New Testament
we see a very beautiful story the story
of the wedding Feast of Canaan
Jesus goes to the wedding Feast his
mother is also there
and we hear of the first miracle where
Mary goes to Jesus trying to save her
friends her her good neighbors
embarrassment because they've run out of
wine
she implores Jesus to help them
and as you know she asks Jesus if he
will
make more wine wow what a what a great
miracle that is wouldn't we love to take
Jesus to a party with us if we ran out
of wine or whatever Jesus make some more
for us you know that's kind of what it
was like at Cana except the request
comes from his mother
and as yet Jesus hasn't performed a
miracle
and he tells her that you know my time
hasn't come and Mary not not listening
to Jesus at all turns to the servants
and says do whatever he tells you so she
expects this miracle to happen and he
does and he he changes the water into
wine and a lot of it six jugs each 25
gallons like there's 150 gallons of wine
can you imagine what a celebration that
this would have been
point though is
it is Jesus first miracle and the first
miracle happens at a wedding feast
so there is a very beautiful beautiful
connection here in how Jesus sanctifies
this whole Sacrament by making it his
his Coming of Age so to speak his entry
into into the world
through a wedding feast
there's a very beautiful thing that
happens
in marriage
and sometimes we miss that point that
God who created man and woman
now
allows us to share in that Creation with
them we call it procreation but the
ability for a man and a woman themselves
to conceive and have children
a beautiful gift that is and a gift you
know that is just totally uh
given to us by God
and I can't I can't think of
anything more beautiful
I do want to say this there's sometimes
when we talk about marriage sometimes we
we forget it's only one of the vocations
that God calls us to so married life is
there and and many people choose it
but let's remember there's a vocation in
being single
and being single calls us to you know
share exactly the life that Jesus
himself chose because Jesus himself
never married
and he saw his role in his singleness to
be connected so totally to the father to
do the will of the father and I don't
want to
leave you with the impression that the
married vocation is is the only one
those who choose singleness are also
following Jesus path
so I'm going to stop there for now and
we will come back and uh in a short
while to continue this discussion of
matrimony
hi Deacon Rowley back again
so welcome to the second section on
marriage and in this section
I want to invite you to look at
ways that we prepare ourselves for
marriage
you know it strikes me that we spend so
much time preparing ourselves for so
many other things a high school
graduation might be one of those things
you know that we prepare for we spend
you know a lot of hours looking for
dresses and and suits and planning uh
you know how we're going to get there
and what we're going to do and
um we spend a lot of time preparing for
careers too we graduate from high school
something in mind we start looking at
colleges and universities post-secondary
apprenticeship whatever
and then we invest all those years into
that career that's good all that is good
and we need to do that
the point I'm trying to make is if we
invested that much time and energy into
thinking about marriage thinking about
what we want in in a spouse what we want
that
to be in our life maybe maybe marriage
and marriages would be more successful
maybe they would be more long-term maybe
there would be that strong commitment
and so
let's talk a little bit about how we do
that and how we prepare for it
you know the Catholic Church says You
must have a marriage preparation course
before they're going to marry you and
actually many of the other churches are
doing exactly the same thing so you just
can't walk in and say to the priest you
know we want to get married can you do
it next Saturday it's not going to
happen
it's not going to happen in most
Christian faiths and so
the preparation for marriage is more of
a
I think a long-term view that we have to
take and I want to suggest to you that
that view has to begin even now even as
you're in high school as you're
pondering your future
how do we do that well
most of you probably by this time have
maybe experienced dating or are getting
yourself ready to date
why do we date
we date you know to meet people we date
to try ourselves on try our personality
on with another person you know we want
to be accepted we want to be loved we
want to have uh intimacy with someone
and so dating is kind of that
I guess that testing ground to see how's
that going to work
well I'm going to suggest to you that
dating is really
where
we're beginning that preparation for
that journey in life which might
eventually lead us to commit ourselves
Faithfully to one person
I'm going to tell you a little story
that might make this
maybe a little more relevant to you
I want you to remember I'm a deacon I'm
not a priest so when I tell you about my
children deacons get married and I am
married and I have four children
and my youngest daughter
is a beautiful girl very very attractive
tall girl white athletic you know I
always worry about her because she she
was busy she dated in high school and
and uh seemed to seem to have lots of
fun
but as she graduated from high school
she she met a fellow
and he struck me as a pretty genuine
young man
um
you know as fathers you always have a
little bit of a concern but uh
I didn't find this out until
long after they had dated and in fact
I'll tell you the end of the story they
got they got married but I want to tell
you about the courtship because I think
it's an interesting that's an
interesting story
she was quite taken up with this young
fella and uh you know they would do lots
of things they would you know Bill
snowman they would go
off on walks they would
whatever you know happens on dates but
lots of activity in their life but there
was
a faith component there and they were
both Catholic I think that kind of
helped
but the story that I want to tell you is
this that during all of that time that
they were dating
he would not allow himself he would not
allow himself to kiss her
not that she didn't want to kiss him she
wanted to kiss him right but sometimes
he'd be watching a movie and he might
have had his arm around her and you know
she knows feeling uh you know very
intimate and she'd want to give him an
attack on the cheek or whatever I'm not
saying that didn't happen but you know
the lip on lip kind of Kiss
he didn't let it happen
when she told me the story I thought wow
that's that's something
because usually it's the girl who has to
kind of take that stand and maybe sort
of push push the boy off but here
was a young man ready to take on that
responsibility to say
this this girl is important to me I want
her to know how important she is I want
to know I'm prepared to give up some
things that are important to me do I
want to kiss her absolutely you know
what I'd like to do a little more
absolutely but he had already positioned
himself and his life and his his stance
stance to say
help me God help me be strong here this
this girl is important to me and I'm
going to communicate that to her
now maybe some other girls would have
walked away from that relationship
my daughter didn't
and
eventually this young man came to me and
asked for her hand in marriage
which again I thought was pretty novel
because that doesn't always happen in
this day and age but it tells tells you
something about who he was and today
they're they're married they have two
children
God's blessed them he he just finished
his first degree in kinesiology just got
accepted into physiotherapy she has a
does a good job as a degree you know
their life is is blossoming and I know
that God's at the center of that
I'm telling you that story because I
think when we date
or Court
we need to know who we are we need to
know what we stand for what we believe
in we need to know the strength of
ourselves and if we think we're a little
bit weak then let's make sure we're
dating with another couple let's make
sure we're dating you know with friends
let's make sure we're in places you know
that are public that we're not going to
allow ourselves those indiscretions that
could lead us to moments of
infidelity of
of
you know unchased actions and so on
so hard to do that I know it's so hard
to do that in a culture where we're
bombarded with all of these images you
can't turn on the TV without seeing two
people you know in bed together and
there's an expectation that oh well I
guess this is this is how life is this
is what people do no it's not what
people do it's what TV does it's what
Hollywood does
God's calling us to something just a
little better than that a little greater
than that he's calling us to Holiness in
our lives as single people
as dating couples as engaged couples
he's calling us
to live our life in holiness
I'm saying that and I'm guessing I'm
just guessing
that there's some of you maybe who have
already had sex and you're saying
oh I'm done
I'm finished I've lost my virginity
uh so what else have I got to lose and
so we sort of keep
tumbling into that
that spiral of of a life that maybe
we're not happy about
let me say this to you that Chastity you
know if you've lost if you've lost your
virginity
reclaim
your chastity
reclaim it
because Chastity is not
the result of one single option
Chastity is the way we choose to live
our life the way we choose to follow God
reclaim it reclaim it
and begin to focus again on what it is
that God is calling it to be
okay I'm gonna I'm going to uh
just move on from that just a moment
here because as we prepare for marriage
we need to think
about what that might look like what's
what's that ceremony going to look like
where is it going to happen
I've been invited many times to do
weddings in the backyard to do weddings
at a farm to do weddings you know in a
mountain setting
and in every one of those requests I've
had to say no
because the church holds firm
that we want to have couples
sanctify their marriage in a church
before God
it's a beautiful thing really to come
into uh into the presence of God not
that God isn't there in nature that God
might not be there on top of a mountain
but we know God for sure is here in the
church and this is his presence among
men
and to be married you know here I think
is a very very special thing
I don't want to criticize those who have
gone elsewhere all I'm saying is think
about this now before you know those
other ideas start coming into your head
what a beautiful place to come to you
come down the aisle you're here before
God before the witnesses that you've
invited raid or shine is gonna you're
gonna be sheltered because the church is
you know covered and so nothing is going
to interfere with that date
also remember
in your planning
Jesus is there between the two of you
Jesus is that Center that brings you and
your spouse together and if your
marriage is always centered around Jesus
in prayer faithfulness to one another
Fidelity to one another
the blessings and Rewards
are just going to multiply in your life
so it's not just the wedding ceremony
it's not just the dress it's not just
you know the guests on the list and so
on it's
it's when you stand before God's husband
and wife
that's that's marriage
don't forget to invite Jesus to the
wedding
hi welcome back you can rolly here again
this is part three of the marriage
section the marriage unit and in this
section I'd like to talk a little bit
about what we might consider to be
broken relationships and and how that
affects marriages and families children
where's the church stand on these things
and and is there healing can we can we
seek some kind of a piece out of all of
this
well we know life isn't always perfect
that things happen and certainly the
church realizes that as well
and so how do we deal with with
relationships that have broken off with
those kinds of problems
sometimes
especially in situations of abuse
whether it's physical emotional sexual
you know it may be
beneficial for that couple to be apart
for a bit to kind of work things out we
would call that separation so they
separate from each other
maybe with the time to examine their own
lives see well you know am I the person
God
wants me to be am I treating my spouse
the way I should be treating her or him
am I my unselfish am I generous in my
nature all of those things
and sometimes that period of Separation
may be enough to say yeah I know where I
I know where I messed up I want to try
this again I want to try it again in a
loving caring way to see if I can
give my spouse that intimacy and that
that that love that they deserve
as you know it doesn't always happen
that way uh and the church recognizes
that too so they put in place some
really good programs for couples that
struggle couples that need help one of
those is called retrofy sort of a French
word sort of like let's let's
do this again let's try this again
um it's quite intense you know it's a
whole weekend to begin with and then
it's a follow-up of six or eight weeks
where every Sunday you check in again
with your Leaders with your team in and
you talk about how it's going and about
some of the issues that you're working
on and and there is support in that
Journey so
it's a good thing it's a good thing and
many couples have found that their whole
marriage is just renewed because they've
tried a little harder and they've
they've gone at it together
does that always work
no
with the success rate for those who have
gone in there seeking
that that remediation and wanting it you
know is very high
often though
couples get so estranged that they don't
even want to try
and as a result they seek a divorce they
seek a split the separation so simply
they they a divorce is a civil Act
they apply for it and they
you know get a civil a civil
permanent
divorce from one another
that doesn't suggest though that the
church has let go of that Union the
church still sees that Union as a man
and a woman together even though they
have a divorce
now albeit the church will not go to the
next step which is annulments unless
that couple is civilly divorced so
that's the first step if someone's
seeking an annulment of course they have
to have a civil divorce in place
well what is an annulment why is it sort
of unique within the Catholic Church
if we go back to our first talk about
marriage you know where God said I've
made man and woman the two shall become
one
church is pretty serious about that and
for that those two not to become one you
know it does require a lot of a lot of
study a lot of introspection a lot of uh
testimony on behalf of both spouses they
sometimes even go to those who were
there to witness the marriage they would
they would talk to the parents of both
spouses they would look at all the
factors
involved in the life of that couple so
it's quite intense really intense
once all that information has been
gathered it goes before a tribunal which
is made up of
of a collection of people but for sure
representatives of of the Chancery
office which would be where they Center
the diocese would be in our case here in
the Red Deer area it's the Archdiocese
of Edmonton so those those
recommendations
or applications that are being made for
annulment would go there would appear
before a tribunal once all this
information is collected
what does an annulment do
well
during that process that collection of
information and all of that data the
church asks that couple to remain
faithful to to be to have this Fidelity
and I guess we would say Chastity in
other words
they don't want them to enter into other
relationships particularly relationships
that you know might lead to a second
marriage and so on because the church
wants all of us to remain in sacramental
Grace the ability to receive the
sacraments to come to Holy Communion to
live in that period of time you know in
Union with God and asking
the grace of God to help them in where
their life is going
and so
a divorced person seeking an annulment
wants to do this because their hope
ultimately is that they would be able to
remarry again in the church and remain
in The sacramental Graces of of the
church
so it's a process that often begins very
soon after a divorce
so that if couples do meet or a person
does meet you know another another
individual and they want to get married
that the annulment processes well on
their way or has been completed
there is a lot of information in the in
the catechism of the Catholic Church on
some of those topics first of all and
Separation on divorce on annulments and
it would be good to look at that section
that whole section on marriage is pretty
enriching and would probably add a lot
to
your knowledge about marriage as well as
some of these other factors that come
into play
let's shift gears again just a little
bit because before we complete this I
think this unit I think it would be
important to talk about some of those
issues
that again are are topics of concern and
I'm kind of looking at issues of
contraception
Family Planning
so on
we live in this culture of I would call
A A mentality of contraception
where
without informing our conscience we
sometimes think well no problem you know
over we don't want kids right away we
you know we want to get our careers set
we want to buy hubs we'd like to finish
paying for the car you know
we have all these reasons that we put in
front of us we're not having children
and thus we think
well contraception is okay because it
fits right into
our lifestyle
well the church takes a little different
view of that
you know we want to get away from this
contraceptive mentality into opening
ourselves up to the possibility of
conceiving the child
but the church is is there to support
families not to dictate two families but
they want to do it in a way that we're
in harmony with God in God's plan for
our own bodies and God's plan for
creation
and so the church is saying that
un unnatural means of contraception are
placing a barrier there
that prevents the true
intimacy of the conjugal Act
to
to happen because
I'm choosing my words carefully here
if in some moment of passion you know
well let's just
you know the husband comes home from
maybe uh whatever hockey game or
something we set a few drinks with the
guys he comes home and oh his wife's
wife sitting there and he's just you
know wants to make love to her and and
for him this is the right time
but maybe it's not for her
uh
if if they're contracepting you know
they
probably have sex
they're not they're not making love to
one another they're not making this
intimate caring
concerned Act
of love
it becomes a physical act
and
and one that actually
can break that relationship down over
time
what is the conjugal act it's an act of
love it's an act of intimacy between two
couples it's knowing one another's
bodies it's knowing
one another's feelings it's caring about
where that other person is
true love is really
The Awakening of that desire in your
spouse of wanting fulfillment for that
spouse
where together you are so United in that
act that you're just
reading each other in a in a complete
unselfish
kind of giving
when we're contraceptive it's very
difficult to sort of put aside our our
sexual instinct and to want that
fulfillment just for ourselves and we
forget there's another person in that
whole in that whole equation
so what does the church say about this
the church
has offered and has
um
blessed I would say what we would call
Natural planning and again without
getting into many details I'm going to
encourage you
to explore them to learn a little bit
more about it and there's there's many
different ways of and and descriptions
of Family Planning but it has come uh so
far and we know so much about the human
body that couples actually use natural
family planning to help them conceive if
they're having difficulty conceiving
children or to not conceive that means
abstinence in those times where the
woman would be most fertile
is it does it bring blessings to that
family
well it certainly connects the husband
and wife together you know the husband
knows the woman's cycle she's aware of
her own uh sort of biology and what's
happening to her there's an intimacy and
a sharing of all of that that whole that
whole relationship and so sometimes you
say no to to one another or you say no
to yourself
because
the time isn't right
is there other ways to show love to your
spouse other than a sexual intercourse
absolutely and you know abstaining is
probably one of those ways where you
share you know in other ways in intimacy
that that couples can share in their
relationship with one another
so I'm going to stop there and invite
you to once again look at the catechism
of the Catholic Church it covers most of
these topics quite well good luck with
that
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