The BRUTAL Truth about YOUR "SHADOW WORK" No One Will Tell You
Summary
TLDRIn this heartfelt video, the speaker delves into the concept of self-improvement and self-healing, challenging the notion that we need to 'fix' ourselves. They explore the power of 'Shadow work,' which involves acknowledging and understanding the darker, less desirable aspects of our personalities. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the realization that we are inherently whole, not broken. They also discuss the role of humor and playfulness in the healing process, encouraging viewers to maintain a light-hearted approach to personal growth.
Takeaways
- 🌟 Self-improvement is not just about fixing oneself but also about realizing one's inherent wholeness and not needing to fix anything at all.
- 🔍 Shadow work involves looking at the darker, less acknowledged parts of oneself to understand and accept them, rather than dwelling on them as faults.
- 💡 The concept of self-healing is about self-acceptance and letting go, which is different from the problem-solving approach of self-improvement.
- 🤔 It's important to recognize that behind every negative action or behavior, there is a positive intent, often rooted in self-preservation.
- 🧩 Understanding that we are made up of many 'parts' can help in acknowledging internal dissonance and accepting all aspects of oneself.
- 🛠️ Shadow work is not about getting rid of insecurities but about acknowledging and working with them as they are part of who we are.
- 💥 A significant realization is that insecurities and negative behaviors often stem from fear, which serves as a protective mechanism.
- 🌈 Self-confidence comes from complete self-acceptance, including embracing one's flaws, vulnerabilities, and insecurities.
- 🎭 The idea of having to 'fix' oneself is misguided; instead, the focus should be on acceptance and realizing that one was never broken.
- 🌱 Letting go and detaching from the need to be perfect or to constantly improve can lead to a sense of freedom and relief from unnecessary burdens.
- 🤹♂️ Maintaining a sense of humor and playfulness during the process of self-exploration and acceptance is crucial to prevent it from becoming too serious or self-punishing.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the video script?
-The main theme of the video script is self-improvement and self-healing, focusing on the concept of Shadow work and the realization that one was whole and not broken to begin with.
What are the two camps of self-improvement mentioned in the script?
-The two camps of self-improvement mentioned are self-improvement focused on habits and goals, and self-healing focused on acceptance, letting go, and detachment.
What is Shadow work and why is it important?
-Shadow work is the process of examining the darker, less acknowledged parts of oneself. It is important because it helps individuals understand and accept these parts, leading to self-acceptance and self-healing.
What does the speaker mean by 'self-improvement is about fixing things'?
-The speaker means that the common approach to self-improvement is to identify flaws and work on fixing them, such as the body, mindset, or goals, often leading to a problem-solving mindset.
What is the opposite goal of self-improvement according to the script?
-The opposite goal of self-improvement is self-healing, which is about realizing that one was never broken and that there was nothing to fix all along.
What is the role of self-acceptance in the process of self-healing?
-Self-acceptance plays a crucial role in self-healing as it involves accepting oneself fully, including all flaws, vulnerabilities, and insecurities, which in turn can lead to genuine confidence.
What is the speaker's view on the idea of being 'broken'?
-The speaker suggests that the idea of being 'broken' is a learned concept and that individuals are not inherently broken but rather have been conditioned to believe so.
What is the significance of finding and understanding the 'positive intent' behind negative actions?
-Understanding the positive intent behind negative actions helps individuals see these actions as self-preservation mechanisms, which can lead to a deeper understanding and acceptance of oneself.
What does the speaker suggest is a key aspect of Shadow work?
-A key aspect of Shadow work suggested by the speaker is the realization that insecurities and negative parts of oneself do not necessarily go away but can change forms and be integrated into one's self-concept.
How does the speaker describe the process of finding and acknowledging one's internal and external triggers?
-The speaker describes the process as one of self-reflection, asking what parts of oneself one cannot be with and identifying what in others triggers a reaction, which can then be used to understand and work with those aspects of oneself.
What is the speaker's advice on maintaining an approach to Shadow work?
-The speaker advises maintaining a sense of humor and playfulness throughout the process of Shadow work to avoid it becoming too serious or self-punishing.
Outlines
💡 Self-Improvement and Self-Healing
The speaker discusses the concept of self-improvement and self-healing, emphasizing that while self-improvement is about setting goals and habits, self-healing is about acceptance and letting go. They argue that true progress in life requires tapping into the self-healing side, which often involves confronting one's 'shadow'—the darker, less acknowledged parts of oneself. The speaker admits to previously misunderstanding the approach to shadow work, thinking it was about fixing oneself, when it's actually about realizing inherent wholeness and not needing to fix anything. They advocate for self-acceptance as the true source of confidence and self-esteem.
🔍 Understanding Shadow Work and Internal Triggers
This paragraph delves into the specifics of shadow work, which involves examining the parts of oneself that are not always positive or light-hearted. The speaker shares their realization that insecurities and negative traits do not necessarily disappear through shadow work but can change form. They reference Richard Schwarz's book 'No Bad Parts' to illustrate the idea that we are made up of multiple parts, each with its own role. The speaker also discusses their personal experience with the struggle between the creative and perfectionist aspects of their personality, highlighting the importance of acknowledging and working with these internal parts rather than trying to eliminate them.
🤔 Identifying and Embracing Triggers
The final paragraph focuses on identifying internal and external triggers that cause emotional reactions. The speaker explains that recognizing what one cannot be with is a key part of shadow work, as is understanding the parts of oneself that one might despise or want to change. They also touch on the concept of projection, where one's own unacknowledged traits are seen and reacted to in others. The speaker encourages maintaining a sense of humor and playfulness throughout the process of self-exploration, warning against taking the process too seriously or using it as a means of self-attack. They conclude by inviting feedback on the video's content and style, expressing gratitude for the audience's support.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-improvement
💡Self-healing
💡Shadow work
💡Insecurity
💡Wholeness
💡Self-acceptance
💡Projection
💡Letting Go
💡Detachment
💡Playfulness
💡Internal Triggers
💡External Triggers
💡Positive Intent
Highlights
The concept that we are born whole and insecurities are learned behaviors, not inherent flaws.
The distinction between self-improvement focused on goal-setting and self-healing focused on acceptance and letting go.
The importance of recognizing that self-improvement can become problematic when it overshadows self-healing.
An introduction to Shadow work as a method for self-healing, exploring the darker, less acknowledged parts of oneself.
The process of identifying and examining one's internal triggers through Shadow work.
The idea that every negative action has a positive intent, such as procrastination being a form of self-preservation.
The realization that insecurities and limiting beliefs may not disappear but can change form through Shadow work.
The internal conflict between different 'parts' of oneself and how Shadow work can help reconcile these.
The transformative power of self-acceptance in building genuine self-confidence.
The role of external triggers and projections in understanding one's own shadow aspects.
The practice of questioning how one's own behaviors mirror those that trigger them, as a form of self-reflection.
The continuous nature of personal growth, emphasizing that effort and practice are required to maintain progress.
The metaphor of carrying a heavy pack to illustrate the burden of unaddressed personal issues.
The liberating effect of letting go and detaching from the need to constantly improve or fix oneself.
The advice to approach Shadow work with a sense of humor and playfulness to prevent it from becoming too serious.
The reminder that the goal of Shadow work is not to fix oneself but to realize inherent wholeness.
The call to action for viewers to engage with the content, reflecting on personal experiences with the concepts presented.
An expression of gratitude from the speaker to the audience for their support and engagement.
Transcripts
I get goosebumps talking about this did
you come out of your mother's womb
broken insecure these are all learned we
talk a lot about like reprogramming my
subconscious mind maybe you need to
deprogram self-improvement is about
fixing yourself this is about realizing
that you were whole and there was
nothing to fix all along so I got some
things wrong it's about a topic I talk
about a lot I don't mean wrong in terms
of like that's the wrong answer but
wrong in terms of not the optimal
approach and kind of missing the plot a
bit these are two things on Shadow work
that I got wrong for those of you who
don't know I view all of this
self-improvement for yourself in kind of
two camps there's self-improvement right
so this is like habits goals getting to
somewhere then there's the other half of
the coin which is selfhealing this is
acceptance Letting Go Detachment being
okay where you are right here right now
and you need both and in my experience
being in this camp for a decade plus the
reason most people aren't progressing in
their life cuz they haven't tapped into
the self-healing side and this is where
so much juice is so the question is okay
good over here how do I tap into the
selfhealing and there's techniques like
Shadow
work everything in this world has a
shadow unless you're in one of those
time zones where the Sun hits it at a
certain point you've seen those photos
freaky the brighter the object the
darker the shadow shadow work is looking
at the parts of you that aren't just
like don't worry be happy light positive
it's the parts of like why did I get so
irritable at my mom why did someone
cutting me off in traffic trigger me why
do you feel like you can't truly love
yourself despite wanting to why do you
feel like other people are more
qualified than you why do I have these
blocks around creating my art and
putting it out there even though I know
deep down that's what I want to do these
are all like Shadow work questions okay
and the goal with Shadow work is taking
something that is in your Shadow and
it's shining a little light on it when
you do this you're able to see it and
examine it hopefully objectively and
play with it and it's not about sitting
there and dwelling there and using that
as ammunition to beat yourself up with I
am insecure I am I do lack
self-confidence no no no it's about
working with that piece that's where the
work comes in you're just shining a
light on it and looking at
it using the frame of self-improvement
self-improvement is about fixing things
you can fix your body body you can fix
your mindset you can fix your goals and
you can get hooked on that growth and
that that problem solving mode can't you
but where this works against us is when
you start looking at the self-healing
mode this is not about fixing this is
the opposite goal self-improvements
about fixing yourself this is about
realizing that you were whole and there
was nothing to fix all along
self-acceptance is realizing that you
were never broken to begin with and that
maybe all the Brokenness has been placed
upon you did you come out of your
mother's womb broken insecure viewing
other people as further ahead or better
than you no these are all learned these
are all programmed and so sometimes we
talk a lot about like reprogramming my
subconscious mind and oh I just got to
reprogram my mindset maybe you need to
deprogram and that's where Shadow work
letting go and Detachment come in is
realizing you're not something to fix
you're actually not broken and you don't
need to improve everything about
yourself or force it self-confidence
comes from accepting yourself to the nth
degree all your flaws all your
vulnerabilities all your insecurities
you rock it you own it what is that
ironically that is the most confident
thing you can do without trying by just
accepting yourself and realizing not
everyone's going to like me I don't need
everyone to love me to feel good I can
love myself I can accept myself now
you're
confident you might be thinking right
now well what do you mean there's
nothing to fix fix what do you mean I'm
not broken I clearly have some issues
dude like I don't like ABC about me I
don't like XYZ I need to improve it you
have to understand that behind every
negative action that you do there's a
positive intent I get goosebumps talking
about this cuz this was one of my
biggest realizations take any negative
thing you do I guarantee there's a
positive intent if we drill down deep
enough like okay well what about this uh
procrastinating great let's take
procrastination something we all have
done maybe you put the pro in
procrastination yourself B
procrastination drill it down you know
what the roote I have found with myself
and others of procrastination is it's
fear because think about what you
procrastinate on a lot of times it's
writing the paper why are you afraid to
write a paper well because if you start
writing it you have to confront that
maybe it's going to be a lot of work or
maybe I'm not smart enough or maybe I'm
putting things down to get judged graded
on and that creates fear around getting
a bad result a bad grade well I'm
procrastinating like I want to go out I
want to meet people I want to get in a
relationship but I'm just like
procrastinating when I go out
interesting why are we procrastinating
talking to women cuz you're afraid of
the result of getting rejected my point
here with all of this is procrastination
is rooted in fear what's the positive
intent behind the fear protect ction
it's a self-preservation mechanism
protection doesn't always mean physical
survival it can mean protection of your
status protection of your image of how
people view you trying to control behind
every negative action that you do
there's a positive
intent another massive breakthrough with
Shadow work I didn't say this out loud
but you know internally I made it a goal
okay if I do x amount of Shadow work I
can dissolve all these limiting beliefs
and I'll get rid of them what I have
found is that a lot of the insecurities
don't go away you still have them
they're parts of you Richard Schwarz
wrote an awesome book no bad parts where
he talks about how all of us are not one
person like you watching this right now
you're not one person you're many
there's the part of you that's the inner
child there's the part of you if you're
like me who's the inner Rebel there's
the part of you who's super
compassionate wants the best for people
there's the part of you that's the
commander the leader that rolls up the
sleeves and it's time to get down to
business there's a part of you who's the
Entertainer who wants to make people
laugh through Shadow work you're able to
realize the internal dissonance you have
amongst all your parts I have a part
that's that inner perfectionist it's
really me up for videos to be
totally honest with you here cuz there's
a creative part of me that wants to
create and put content out there and
just talk like this but then there's
this protector who wants to put
everything I say under a microscope and
be like dude you have X amount of people
watching you you can't mess up you got
to get it right you got to warm up
enough you got to be in a positive State
you got to you know perform and have so
much enthusiasm and smile before this
video was was trying to film another one
I noticed that part of me come up the
protector the I got to get this right
how's how's the hair okay lighting
perfect let me do three takes it was a
video I had tried to film I had outlined
for like a week and this part is so
strong it just did not want me to film
that video and I tried and I got 5
minutes in and then I said a I mean
literally I was like you talk about
getting over yourself and you can't even
do it and it's like through doing this
Shadow work with my therapist coach I'm
just like I I can't do that anymore I
physically cannot create like that I'm
just at the point of where I'm just like
it let's let's let these parts
settle down and let's connect so using
using this story and relating it to you
what we were talking about earlier how
these parts don't go away they change
forms there's so much Freedom when you
you're able to admit I don't have to
have it all figured out I don't have to
be this evolved perfected person of me
this isn't even a place I'm trying to
get to and work towards I can just be
okay as I am right now in this moment
once you accept that that's where your
freedom comes from that's where your
energy and your life force comes from
it's like you've been carrying around
this 50 lb pack on you the whole time
your back sweaty and you're aching and
it's hurting and your joints are going
out and then one day you finally say
I'm done carrying this and you take it
off you feel that weight literally fall
off of you and there you can breathe
easier you have more energy that's
really what it is once you start letting
go and working with some of these parts
and I'm putting this in here because I
still do this work the best things in
life are going to constantly require
effort work practice patience yourself
just like anything the work never stops
otherwise if you know the law of entropy
it decays into disorder if you don't
continue putting energy in you don't put
energy into the system of working with
your parts with your Shadow well you're
going to find it starts creeping up and
grabbing a hold of you and running your
life that's something I felt it grabbing
on to the past 12 months if I'm totally
honest here you don't have to you can
take off the pack you can drop the
weight You Can Let Go doesn't mean
getting rid of it means dropping
releasing detaching
from it controlling
you so I know what you're thinking this
sounds good let me try and tap into this
for myself how do I find out what parts
are in the background pulling the
strings if I'm the puppet two things
this comes from my coach he said the
shadow is anything you cannot be with
ask yourself what can't you be with what
part of you is ugly what part of you do
you despise what part of you triggers
you what part of you do you want to get
rid of what part of you you've had
enough with and once you find it how can
you love it how can you acknowledge it
once you find that that that's your work
so if the first question is finding your
internal triggers the second would be
finding your external triggers what do
you see in other people that triggers
you this is what is known as a
projection because it triggers you
chances are you have that within it can
be anything big or small what do you get
irritated by what makes you irritable or
feel like oh I want to lash out or get
defensive and you ask how am I that
often times if we get triggered by
something someone we need to put down
the mirror this is ongoing Shadow work
and something you can do in the moment
when you find yourself online when
you're scrolling if you get triggered by
something and you want to hate on it ask
yourself how am I that well it's a
political opinion I wanted to argue with
it because they're extreme or
misinformed wait am I extreme and
misinformed I don't always get
everything right people want to argue
with me okay I see what's going on here
that person is greedy and all they care
about is money okay I think about money
way too much and my whole life is run by
not having it or having too much or
trying to get it uh that person talks
about self-improvement but it's negative
and it sounds like an angry rants uh
that's part of me where I get Negative
jaded and even though I'm talking about
positive things it comes out as critical
all
day whatever it is you have it within
you it's because we're all human we all
share the same building blocks and we're
all capable of the same emotions and
protection
mechanisms this is probably the most
important thing I'll say all video you
need to have playfulness throughout this
whole thing you need to maintain a sense
of humor otherwise it just gets way way
too serious otherwise it's like okay
time to light some sage and then I'm
going to write about my darkness don't
like that about me definitely hate that
about myself and it turns into this
weird like masochistic thing where
you're just like self attacking and
using it as ammunition to beat yourself
up on don't do that the most enlightened
thing you can do is laugh gurus teachers
sages they all had senses of humor and
you should too you should never lose
your playfulness around this so please
don't use any of this Shadow work
Letting Go Detachment as things you have
to do or things that you need to do
optimally or a tactic to get rid of
something remember that we're not trying
to fix you we're trying to make you
realize you're not broken remember we're
not trying to be positive trying to make
you realize behind every negative act
there's a positive intent remember if
you get triggered all you need to do is
ask yourself how am I that all right
guys hey what do you think of the video
should we do more like this or do you
like more structured influencer Cadence
three things in this video okay number
one is this I'll be honest this is a
working progress this is a very
vulnerable place for me to create from
I'd like to say I can do every video
from here but you know there might be a
few in the future where I catch myself
doing it again so anyway thank you for
being here and allowing me to create
with you and share these ideas we may
not have met but truly I am super
grateful I get chills talking about it
and it makes me emotional like finding
people that support you I'll stop
because if I think about the love I have
for strangers who allow me to do what I
love I'll I'll you know get emotional so
um appreciate you love you thank you so
much for your supports and I'll catch
you in the next one see you
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