For women in pursuit of motherhood and a career | Irene Mora | TED Institute

Summary

In this heartfelt reflection, the speaker recounts growing up with a career-driven mother and the unique challenges and lessons it brought. Despite frequent relocations and her mother's demanding job, the speaker learned valuable lessons about gender equality, independence, and love. The story highlights how a mother can be both a successful professional and a loving parent, even if physically absent at times. The speaker encourages women to pursue their careers without guilt, emphasizing that genuine love transcends presence and can be felt no matter the distance.

Takeaways

• 😀 A woman's career doesn't have to conflict with being a good mother, and both can coexist successfully.
• 😀 The notion of being a 'motherless child' can be misunderstood, but it can offer positive outcomes, such as independence and resilience.
• 😀 Children of working mothers, particularly daughters, often develop positive gender attitudes, more fulfilling careers, and enjoy more equal relationships.
• 😀 Seeing both parents share career and family responsibilities can help children understand equality and break traditional gender roles.
• 😀 Moving frequently for career reasons, though challenging, teaches adaptability and the benefits of embracing change.
• 😀 Children of working mothers can be positively impacted by seeing their mother juggle both family and work, developing strong work ethics and independence.
• 😀 Personal experiences, like being different (e.g., in a non-traditional ballet outfit), can help children build resilience and stand out in a positive way.
• 😀 Being authentic is key to being a good mother and a successful person; it's important for mothers to embrace who they are, regardless of societal standards.
• 😀 A mother's career-driven life doesn't lessen her capacity for love; her presence, even if physical, is still felt and impactful.
• 😀 Even if a mother isn't physically present all the time, emotional availability and support are what truly matter in a child's development.
• 😀 Pursuing a career with passion and without guilt can lead to a more well-rounded, independent, and prepared child who feels loved despite occasional absence.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's story?

The main theme revolves around the positive impact of having a career-driven mother on the speaker's upbringing and how this influenced their views on gender equality, independence, and love.

How did the speaker feel about being labeled a 'motherless child'?

Initially, the speaker felt uncomfortable with the label, but later came to appreciate it as a unique experience that shaped their perspective and personal growth.

What was the significance of the mother's career for the speaker's family?

The mother's demanding career showed that it is possible to balance both work and family, and it provided the speaker and their sister with role models of strong, independent women and men who supported gender equality.

How did the speaker's father's role contribute to their understanding of gender equality?

The father took paternity leave early in Spain's history and shared household responsibilities equally with the mother, which contributed to the speaker's and their sister's belief in gender equality.

What did the speaker learn from their mother about being different?

The speaker learned that being different can be an asset, as demonstrated by the experience of wearing a non-traditional ballet outfit, which led to more attention and responsibility.

How did the speaker's mother manage to show love despite being away for work?

The speaker’s mother showed love by being attentive, reassuring, and supportive even when physically absent, like when she guided the speaker through a difficult situation over the phone.

What lesson about love and presence did the speaker learn from their mother?

The speaker learned that love does not require constant physical presence, as long as the child feels cared for and supported, highlighting the value of emotional availability over physical presence.

How did the speaker's mother's authenticity impact them?

The speaker admired their mother's authenticity, which allowed her to be herself in both her professional and personal life, teaching the speaker to embrace their true self and not conform to societal expectations.

What is the speaker’s perspective on the common societal view that a woman can either have a career or be a good mother?

The speaker rejects this view, highlighting that their mother proved it’s possible to be both a successful career woman and a loving, supportive mother, and that this experience shaped the speaker's confidence in balancing their own career and family.

What is the speaker's final message regarding mothers and careers?

The speaker encourages mothers to pursue their careers with passion without feeling guilty, emphasizing that children can thrive even when their mothers aren't always physically present, as long as the love is real and authentic.