You're Probably Not An Introvert
Summary
TLDRThe video script delves into the complexities of introversion and extroversion, debunking myths that social exhaustion equates to introversion. It highlights research showing that even extroverts can feel drained by social interactions and that negative work environments can exacerbate this for extroverts. The script also addresses social anxiety, its impact on cognitive load, and how technology may contribute to its rise. It concludes with advice on purpose-driven social interactions to mitigate energy drain and tips for introducing oneself confidently in social settings.
Takeaways
- 🤔 Common Misconception: Many people believe that feeling drained after social interactions is a sign of being an introvert, but this is not always the case.
- 🔋 Social Battery: The concept of 'social battery' is introduced, suggesting that social interactions can be draining for both introverts and extroverts, not just introverts.
- 🧠 Cognitive Load: Social anxiety can increase cognitive load, leading to social exhaustion as the brain is preoccupied with anxious thoughts during social interactions.
- 🌐 Impact of Technology: The script suggests that the rise of technology and online communication may be contributing to increased social anxiety and a decline in in-person social skills.
- 🌟 Extroverts and Social Fatigue: Extroverted behavior can lead to a mood lift but is followed by fatigue later, regardless of one's personality type.
- 🏠 Workplace Dynamics: Extroverts may be more sensitive to negative workplace gossip and dynamics, which can lead to emotional exhaustion.
- 🔄 Adaptation: The speaker suggests that spending more time with others can help reactivate the social parts of the brain that may have become 'rusty' due to less in-person interaction.
- 🎯 Purpose-Driven Interactions: Having a clear purpose for social interactions can reduce the energy drain and make socializing less exhausting.
- 🤝 Introduction Techniques: The script provides advice on how to confidently introduce oneself at social events, emphasizing succinctness and setting personal goals for interaction.
- 💡 Self-Awareness: Cultivating self-awareness is important to understand one's motivations and behaviors, which can be learned through group coaching experiences like those offered by Healthy Gamer.
Q & A
What is a common misconception about introverts and social interactions?
-A common misconception is that introverts get drained by social interactions and therefore, if someone feels drained, they must be an introvert. However, the script points out that even extroverts can feel fatigued from social interactions, and it's not a definitive indicator of introversion.
Can extroverts experience social anxiety?
-Yes, extroverts can experience social anxiety. The script explains that social anxiety is not exclusive to introverts and can affect extroverts as well, potentially causing them to feel exhausted in social situations.
What is the relationship between extroverted behavior and immediate mood gains?
-According to the script, extroverted behavior correlates with immediate mood gains, but it also correlates with later fatigue, indicating that even those who are extroverted can feel tired after social interactions.
What impact does negative workplace gossip have on emotional exhaustion?
-The script suggests that negative workplace gossip can lead to emotional exhaustion, and interestingly, extroversion strengthens the negative impact of such gossip, making extroverts more sensitive to it.
What is the key difference between introverts and extroverts in terms of social interaction?
-The key difference is that introverts are less connected to their social environment, while extroverts are more connected. This means that an extrovert might be more affected by negative social dynamics, such as gossip, than an introvert.
Why do people often feel socially exhausted?
-People often feel socially exhausted due to a combination of factors, including social anxiety and the cognitive load of processing social interactions. The script also points out that the rise in social anxiety may be linked to the increased use of technology and the resulting lack of in-person social interaction.
How can spending more time with other people help with social exhaustion?
-Spending more time with other people can help as it allows the parts of the brain responsible for social interaction to become less 'rusty' and more adept at processing social cues, reducing the cognitive load and thus the feeling of exhaustion.
What role does the purpose of a social interaction play in reducing energy drain?
-Having a clear purpose for a social interaction can significantly reduce the energy drain. Purpose-driven social interactions give individuals a goal or reason for being in a social setting, which can increase their energy and enjoyment.
How can setting a goal for a social event help an introvert or extrovert?
-Setting a goal, such as introducing oneself to a certain number of people at a party, can help both introverts and extroverts by giving them a clear purpose for the interaction, which can make the experience less exhausting and more rewarding.
What is the advice given for introducing oneself at a social event?
-The advice given is to approach someone with a simple 'Hi', smile, and a handshake, then introduce oneself succinctly, and ask open-ended questions to engage the other person in conversation. The focus should be on being succinct rather than trying to impress with confidence.
How does the script suggest dealing with social anxiety?
-The script suggests that by understanding the nature of social anxiety and taking steps to engage in purpose-driven social interactions, individuals can learn to manage their social anxiety and reduce the feeling of exhaustion associated with socializing.
Outlines
🤔 Misconceptions About Introversion and Extroversion
The script begins by challenging common beliefs about introversion and extroversion, suggesting that many people misidentify themselves as introverts due to the draining nature of social interactions. It introduces the idea that extroverts can also experience social anxiety and that the relationship between social interactions and energy levels is more complex than commonly thought. The speaker proposes to debunk myths and provide insights into the nature of introversion and extroversion, as well as strategies to maintain energy during social interactions.
🧠 The Impact of Social Environment on Energy Levels
This paragraph delves into the effects of social environments on energy levels, emphasizing that even extroverts can feel fatigued after social interactions. It discusses research findings that show extroverted behavior can lead to mood的提升 followed by fatigue, regardless of one's personality type. The speaker also touches on how negative workplace gossip impacts extroverts more significantly, suggesting that extroversion might make individuals more sensitive to social dynamics. The paragraph highlights the oversimplification of introversion and extroversion in popular culture and the importance of understanding the nuances of personality.
📉 The Role of Social Anxiety in Social Exhaustion
The script addresses the rise of social anxiety and its contribution to social exhaustion. It explains how social anxiety fills one's cognitive resources with anxious thoughts during social situations, leading to exhaustion. The speaker links the increase in social anxiety to the generational shift towards technology and online communication, which can cause the empathic and social parts of the brain to 'rust' due to disuse. The paragraph suggests that the lack of non-verbal cues in digital communication can lead to a heightened cognitive load during in-person interactions, resulting in fatigue.
🔄 Adapting to Social Interactions and Overcoming Anxiety
The final paragraph offers solutions to overcome social exhaustion and anxiety. It suggests spending more time with others to reactivate the brain's social circuits and adapting to social situations more comfortably. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of having a clear purpose in social interactions to reduce energy drain. Providing examples, the paragraph illustrates how having a goal, such as introducing oneself to a certain number of people at a party, can make social interactions less exhausting. The script concludes with advice on how to confidently introduce oneself in social settings, regardless of whether one has social anxiety or not.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Introvert
💡Extrovert
💡Social Anxiety
💡Cognitive Load
💡Fatigue
💡Personality
💡Workplace Gossip
💡Technology
💡Purpose-Driven Social Interaction
💡Self-Introduction
💡Social Skills
Highlights
Introverts may feel drained after social events, but this does not necessarily define them as introverts due to the complexity of personality traits.
Extroverts can also experience social anxiety, which challenges the common misconception that only introverts feel drained by social interactions.
Scientific research shows that extroverted and conscientious behavior is related to immediate mood gains but later fatigue, affecting both introverts and extroverts.
The nature of introversion and extroversion is more nuanced than commonly believed, with many people misidentifying their personality type.
Even in negative work environments, introverts are more resistant to gossip, while extroverts may be more affected by it, leading to emotional exhaustion.
The simplistic view of introversion and extroversion, often perpetuated by social media, can lead to misunderstandings about one's true personality type.
Evidence suggests that being an extrovert may cause certain social interactions to affect an individual more intensely.
Social anxiety can be experienced by extroverts and is characterized by anxious thoughts during social situations, leading to cognitive overload and exhaustion.
The rise in social anxiety, particularly among younger generations, is linked to the increased use of technology and a decline in face-to-face communication.
Spending more time in person with others can help reactivate the brain's social circuits and reduce social anxiety.
Having a clear purpose for social interactions can significantly reduce the energy drain often associated with socializing.
Both introverts and extroverts can benefit from purpose-driven social activities, which can increase their enjoyment and reduce exhaustion.
The exhaustion from social interactions is not solely related to personality but also to one's mental state and behavior during the interaction.
Even introverts can learn to enjoy social interactions by understanding and managing their approach to social situations.
The speaker provides practical advice on how to introduce oneself at social events to overcome social anxiety and make connections.
Confidently introducing oneself is more about being succinct and clear rather than displaying overconfidence, which can help alleviate social anxiety.
The transcript emphasizes the importance of understanding the complexities of introversion, extroversion, and social anxiety to navigate social situations more effectively.
Transcripts
this is the introvert
curse you're hanging out with someone
what and then some part of your brain is
like this guy's having fun at a social
event doesn't he know he's an introvert
and then we unplug the social battery
and then you feel drained so if we look
at people nowadays everybody is an
introvert why because social
interactions are
exhausting so let me ask youall a
question what does an extrovert
with social anxiety look
like can extroverts get social anxiety
how does that work so it turns out that
everyone thinks that they're an
introvert and chances are that half of
y'all at least are wrong okay so there's
a lot of common misconceptions about
personality in introversion and
extroversion and people sort of think
that oh if I get drained by social
interactions that means I'm an introvert
well it turns out that things are a
little bit more complicated than that
let's take a look at some science happy
now tired later extroverted and
conscientious Behavior are related to
immediate Moon gains but to later
fatigue extroverted Behavior correlates
with being socially tired later wow
that's kind of weird right that's
interesting so this is what a lot of
people don't understand if you get tired
from social interactions that does not
mean that you are an
rovert what we're going to learn today
is first of all how introversion and
extroversion there's a lot more
complicated stuff about social anxiety
and once we understand why we actually
get drained from social interactions and
extroverts by the way get drained from
some social interactions more than
introverts do then we'll understand what
is the nature of introversion
extroversion how does my social battery
get drained and we'll also give you one
key thing whether you're an introvert or
an extrovert to not
get drained when you act uh interact
socially so we'll teach you how to have
more energy when you approach social
interactions okay hey y'all I want to
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out the Link in the description below so
misconception number one everyone thinks
oh my god extroverts get energy from
social interactions and if I feel
drained that means I'm an introvert
incorrect so what we tend to find is
that even extroverts become fatigued
from social interaction the other really
interesting thing is that if you look at
negative work spaces so people where
people where work spaces where people
gossip so a lot of y'all think oh I'm an
introvert and I hate this [ __ ]
political everyone's gossiping all the
time and it's so exhausting it turns out
that if you are an introvert you are
actually
resistant to workplace gossip and
actually additionally extraversion
strengthens the main effect of negative
workplace gossip on emotional
exhaustion right so this is bizarre this
means that actually extroverts are more
sensitive to social things and that
negative workplace gossip actually gets
negatively impacted by extroversion so
some of y'all out there may actually be
extroverts but you just get tired from
social interactions and that's because
there is a simplistic view I know this
sounds crazy but as we get more and more
60-second Tik tocks that have no Nuance
in them we start to get these like black
and white perceptions of what
introversion and extroversion are this
means I am an introvert this means I'm
an extrovert no it doesn't half of y'all
are introverts and half of y'all are
extroverts and on top of that
87.5% of y'all are basically somewhat in
the middle and it shouldn't gigantically
impact you there are other things going
on let's understand this so if I'm
saying hold on a second if I get
exhausted from social interactions does
that mean I'm not an introvert yes there
is even some evidence that being an
extrovert causes certain kinds of social
interactions to be more to affect you
more so the key thing about extra verion
is you are more connected to your social
environment so if you're if you're
[ __ ] in a toxic workplace and you
feel exhausted in going to work every
day it doesn't mean you're an introvert
it just that me actually means you could
be an extrovert who's just more
sensitive to the workplace Dynamics
introversion means that you're less
connected to workplace stuff or social
interactions okay that's number one
second thing is if we look at that
fatigue paper that even if you get a
mood lift you will be fatigued 3 hours
later and that finding is actually
somewhat independent of whether you are
an in introvert or extrovert so that
sounds kind of weird because or weren't
we talking about extroversion in some
way so if you look at extroverted
Behavior extroverted Behavior leads to a
mood lift followed by fatigue 3 hours
later and whether you are your
personality is more of an introvert or
extrovert it actually doesn't matter so
so this is the key thing a lot of that
exhaustion does not have to do with
personality and this is really important
to understand because
personality is relatively fixed it can
change some over time but it's kind of
who you are the key thing to understand
what a lot of people don't understand
about exhaustion and social interaction
it doesn't have to do with personality
it has to do with what's your in your
head at that moment your behaviors in
the way that you frame social situations
so even introverts can learn how to
enjoy social
interactions so if this isn't the case
if we're sort of saying that it doesn't
matter that I'm an extrovert or an
introvert social interactions are going
to be exhausting for everybody and maybe
even social interactions are more
exhausting for extroverts in some
situations why does everyone feel so
socially exhausted and why does everyone
think that they're an introvert so
there's a second thing going
on what socially what exhausts people in
social situations is also something like
social
anxiety so if we look at Social Anxiety
which an extrovert can have by the way
which is terrifying it's it really
tricky what happens is that when we go
into social situations when we have
social anxiety our cognitive Ram is
filled up with anxious thoughts so you
go and you hang out with a group of
friends and you're like oh my God like
what is this person thinking is this
person upset should I speak when should
I enter the conversation I have
something cool to say but I don't know
how to enter the conversation I'm just
waiting here waiting for my chance to
speak waiting for my chance to speak and
oh crap now they've shifted to something
else but I had really something cool to
say should I go back to the topic but
that feels kind of awkward and I kind of
miss my chance and oh crap and like now
I'm not even saying anything and are
people wondering like if I'm just
standing around am I being creep this is
what leads to social exhaustion this is
social anxiety now why is this
experience more common the one univer
uniform something that I think is
responsible for the rise in social
anxiety across our generation starting
with Millennials and is getting worse
the deeper down we go the younger we get
is the use of
technology so what's started to happen
is we've stopped relating to other
people like in person we do things like
DM each other on Discord and when we use
online-based communication a lot of our
empathic and social circuitry starts to
rust so just to give you all a simple
example when human beings used to sit
around around a fire and like talk to
each other 2 years ago there are all of
these circuits in our brain that started
to develop that measure tone body
language you know facial expressions and
as those circuits develop those things
reassure us right because you can like
as you pay attention you're not really
paying attention to all subconscious so
the tone and body language of the people
around you reassure you you say okay
these people like me they feel
comfortable as we move on to more online
communication those parts of our brain
rust because if I'm dming 15 people on
Discord I don't have like the part of
like I can't measure tone I can't see
body language so those parts of our
brain start to shut off in the same way
that you forget a language if you don't
use it now we go into a real life social
situation these parts of our brain that
give us social reassurance are shut off
and so we don't get any of those
positive signals telling us hey people
actually don't think you're a creep
they're smiling at you they're looking
at you right they're like that they
don't think you're a creep but as those
parts of our brain
deactivate the cognitive part of our
brain starts picking up all of that load
and then it starts hyperactivating and
doing like calculations and calculations
are fatiguing and the more cognitively
you're sitting there calculating
calculating calculating how to not screw
up this conversation and no wonder it's
exhausting it has nothing to do with
whether you're an extrovert or an
introvert okay this is why social
anxiety is increasing this is why people
are getting more think they're an
introvert all the time doesn't mean that
you're an
introvert next thing so how do we fix
this okay so there are a couple of
things one is that you can just spend
more time with other human beings and as
you spend time with human beings those
parts of your brain will start to like
the gears will start moving and it'll
stop being a little bit Rusty okay but
it's painful to do that right and that's
why like people will say this [ __ ] like
just put yourself out there just put
yourself out there just put you're like
that's painful yeah it's painful but
it's going to take some time for your
like gears to adjust so it's kind of
like you know if I'm sitting all day in
an air conditioned environment then I
start spending time Outdoors where it's
hot it's going to feel really crappy but
eventually my body will like start to
change my Thermo regulation because the
body adapts but it sucks until that
adaptation kicks
in second thing so if we look at what
causes exhaustion when we socially
interact with people there's one primary
variable that you can control which is
the purpose of the social interaction so
Purpose Driven social interaction
reduces the the energy drain so when I
go to a party because my friends are
like hey put yourself out there and
you're like all right I guess I have to
go to a party and then you go to a party
but you're like okay I'm just here to
put myself out there there's not a clear
idea of like what you're doing there
there's not a clear
purpose that's going to be socially
exhausting because you're just sitting
there you're holding a drink maybe
you're on your phone too you're kind of
like what am I even doing here like this
is a pain like no one's talking to me
I'm not talking to anyone you're not
really like focused on you don't have a
particular
goal so this is what's really
interesting is you can send introverts
to social situations or extroverts and
if they have a purpose for being
there their energy will will be way
higher right so I can send an introvert
to like hey like we're going to go play
board games at a board game Cafe and
like we're going to have fun at a board
game Cafe and then you go to a Board
Game Cafe and suddenly you've got these
introverts who are chatting up the
people next to them cuz I'm there with
like my three friends we're playing a
four-player game but hey let's play like
Mafia or something like that involves
eight players and now suddenly you're
like making friends there's tons of like
people at Anime conventions who are like
hitting each other up and making friends
and half of them introverts or half of
them extroverts it's not like anime is
like specifically an introvert hobby
that's what we think but I don't think
so so Purpose Driven social activity so
if you feel
drained by social interaction it doesn't
mean you're extr doesn't mean you're an
introvert instead what you really need
to think about is what am I doing this
for what's my goal in being here and
even to sort of almost like
operationalize that out a little bit and
if you're going to a party okay like I'm
going to go here and I'm going to
practice talking to people so I'm going
to try to introduce myself to five
different people at the party and I'm
going to at least make small talk with
five different people and after that if
I'm not having a good time after 45
minutes I'm just going to leave so lay
it out for yourself and then how do you
actually introduce yourself to people at
a party you literally walk up to them
and you can say hi hello don't say both
of those things that's weird walk up and
say hi smile walk up hold out your
hand like this you know and say hi my
name is Alo it's nice to meet you and
then you can kind of ask them like you
know who like how did y'all end up here
you can ask them why why they're you
know how did you end up here are you a
friend of so and so someone invited you
to the party right and you can say like
hey I'm a friend of so and so's however
you got to the party or I'm I'm a
student at this
University and I'm here to get to know
some people and expand my Social
Circle that's it right you don't need an
excuse like oh my God like I have no
friends and I haven't left the house in
18 you don't need to say that just say
hey I'm here to expand my social I'm
here to meet new
people right and that's all the reason
you need and they're like this
[ __ ] they're all socially
anxious so they're like this
[ __ ] I wish I could do
that they're like now I have to explain
why I'm
here right you get that like all the
socially anxious people wish they could
walk up to someone and confidently
introduce themselves and confidently
introducing yourself is not about having
confidence it's about being succinct you
just walk up you say very little and
then the ball is in their Court
that's
it right and you don't want to do so
people are like how you doing don't do
any of that
crap right or you can be hi hello how
are you doing
today right and if you stutter over your
words you stutter that's okay you can
stutter you can say
hi you know hi hi hi I I I can't D I
mean I can't
I can't create a stutter so you just
stutter and you just say your thing hey
I'm here to meet people be having a
stutter doesn't mean that you're not a
good human
being what if they laugh then let them
laugh right that's why you're you're
introducing yourself to five
people and maybe you said something that
was funny who
knows
تصفح المزيد من مقاطع الفيديو ذات الصلة
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How Do Different Social Media Platforms Affect Your Mood?
improve social skills as an introvert
Why You Feel Anxious Socializing (and What to Do about It) | Fallon Goodman | TED
Solitude and Self-Realization: Why You Should Spend More Time Alone
The power of introverts | Susan Cain | TED
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