What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang | TED

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker recounts a childhood experience of public rejection that instilled a fear of being turned down, impacting their life and aspirations. After being moved by Bill Gates, they set out to conquer the world but were held back by their fear of rejection. Embracing a challenge to face rejection for 100 days, they learned to transform 'no's into opportunities, ultimately teaching others to do the same, turning their curse into a gift.

Takeaways

• 🎁 The speaker's first experience with rejection was a childhood event where they were one of the last to receive a gift due to a lack of compliments from peers, highlighting the impact of early experiences on self-perception.
• 🏆 Inspired by Bill Gates, the speaker aspired to build a company that would outperform Microsoft by the age of 25, illustrating the power of role models in shaping ambitions.
• 🔄 Despite early dreams of entrepreneurship, the speaker found themselves stuck in a corporate job by the age of 30, reflecting the gap between aspirations and reality.
• 🤔 The speaker's internal struggle between the desire to conquer the world and the fear of rejection was a constant theme, showing how past experiences can influence present actions.
• 🚫 The fear of public rejection was so strong that it hindered the speaker's entrepreneurial endeavors, emphasizing the paralyzing effect of fear on career growth.
• 🔍 After an investment rejection, the speaker realized the need to improve as a leader and person, not just a company or product, indicating a turning point in personal development.
• 🔑 The speaker discovered 'Rejection Therapy', a concept that involves seeking out rejection to desensitize oneself to the fear of it, demonstrating a creative approach to overcoming personal barriers.
• 🎬 By documenting their rejection experiences through a video blog, the speaker not only faced their fears but also gained insights into their reactions to rejection, showing the value of self-reflection.
• 🤝 The speaker learned that by staying engaged after rejection and asking 'why', they could often turn a 'no' into a 'yes', revealing the power of persistence and curiosity.
• 💡 The unexpected success of a request for Olympic-themed doughnuts at Krispy Kreme taught the speaker that sometimes embracing the unusual can lead to surprising outcomes and opportunities.
• 📚 The speaker's experience teaching a college class by simply asking demonstrated that fulfilling life dreams can sometimes be as simple as taking the initiative to ask for what you want.
• 🌟 The speaker concluded that embracing rejection and turning it into an opportunity can transform what was once a curse into a gift, encouraging others to face and learn from rejection.

Q & A

What was the initial idea of the first-grade teacher's gift-giving activity?

The first-grade teacher's idea was to have students experience receiving gifts while also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. The students were to stand and compliment each other, and when their name was called, they would pick up their gift and sit down.

How did the gift-giving activity turn into a negative experience for the speaker?

The activity turned negative for the speaker when the compliments stopped, leaving the speaker and two other students without gifts. This led to public rejection and embarrassment, causing the speaker to cry and feel worse than the teacher.

What impact did Bill Gates' visit to Beijing have on the speaker?

Bill Gates' visit inspired the speaker to set a goal of building the biggest company in the world by age 25, with the ambition to buy Microsoft, thus embracing the idea of world domination.

What was the speaker's occupation at the age of 30, and how did they feel about it?

At 30, the speaker was a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company but felt stuck and stagnant, questioning why they hadn't started their own company as they had once dreamed.

What internal conflict did the speaker experience between the ages of 14 and 30?

The speaker experienced a conflict between the ambition of their 14-year-old self, who wanted to conquer the world, and the fear of rejection from their six-year-old self, which often won out, preventing them from taking risks.

How did the speaker's fear of rejection affect their entrepreneurial journey?

The fear of rejection made the speaker want to quit after facing an investment rejection. However, they realized that successful entrepreneurs like Bill Gates do not quit easily, leading them to a realization that they needed to become a better leader and person.

What was the concept behind 'Rejection Therapy' and how did the speaker apply it?

'Rejection Therapy' is a game where one seeks out rejection for 30 days, with the goal of desensitizing oneself to the pain of rejection. The speaker applied it by seeking rejection for 100 days, documenting their experiences in a video blog.

What was the outcome of the speaker's 'Olympic Doughnuts' request at Krispy Kreme?

Surprisingly, the doughnut maker took the request seriously, created doughnuts resembling Olympic rings, and the video of this experience went viral, garnering over five million views on YouTube.

How did the speaker's approach to rejection change after their '100 Days of Rejection' experiment?

The speaker learned to not run away from rejection but to stay engaged, ask 'why,' and turn a 'no' into a 'yes.' They also discovered that mentioning potential doubts before asking could gain trust and increase the likelihood of a positive response.

What life dream did the speaker fulfill by simply asking, and how did it make them feel?

The speaker fulfilled their dream of teaching a college class by persistently asking professors at the University of Texas at Austin. After successfully teaching the class, they felt overwhelmed with emotion, realizing that asking could achieve their dreams.

What message does the speaker convey about embracing rejection in their talk?

The speaker encourages embracing rejection as an opportunity rather than a curse, stating that by not running away from it and considering the possibilities, rejections can become gifts and lead to personal growth and achievement.