Being famous is like being a woman: musings on a haircut
Summary
TLDRDr. Orion Taban explores the parallels between fame and being a woman in terms of receiving unearned attention and gifts. He reflects on his newfound recognition through his YouTube channel and how it contrasts with his past anonymity. Taban discusses the implications of this attention on self-worth and the societal expectations placed on women, suggesting that men should reconsider giving unearned attention to women to challenge these norms. He also promotes his upcoming book and GRE test prep program, Stellar, for those interested in academic advancement.
Takeaways
- 🎥 Dr. Orion Taban discusses the unique experiences that come with being famous, drawing parallels to the experiences of women and how they are treated in society.
- 👤 He shares a personal anecdote about receiving a free haircut offer from a barber who enjoyed his YouTube content, highlighting an instance of strangers showing appreciation.
- 🤔 Dr. Taban reflects on how this experience was the first time as an adult that he received a gift from a stranger without any apparent reason, unlike his past interactions with women.
- 💇♂️ He uses the example of the haircut to explore the concept of value exchange and the sexual marketplace, considering the implications of receiving gifts and attention based on attractiveness rather than merit.
- 👀 He suggests that the attention and gifts women receive can lead to a distorted view of self-worth and a sense of entitlement, similar to the fame he has experienced.
- 👍 Dr. Taban appreciates the positive interactions he has with fans, which validate his work and contribute to his confidence in continuing his channel.
- 🌟 He compares the visibility of fame to physical attractiveness, noting that both can elicit immediate and apparent reactions from others, including offers of gifts and compliments.
- 🚫 He argues that men should stop giving unearned attention to women, as it contributes to unrealistic expectations and self-worth perceptions among women.
- 📚 Dr. Taban is promoting his upcoming book 'The Value of Others' and offers a newsletter for those interested in his work.
- 🔗 He provides a call to action for those interested in booking a paid consultation and mentions his online GRE self-study program, Stellar, for those pursuing advanced degrees.
Q & A
Who is Dr. Orion Taban and what is the topic of his talk?
-Dr. Orion Taban is a psychologist and the speaker in the video script. The topic of his talk is the comparison between the experience of being famous and being a woman, drawing from his own experiences after gaining some fame through his YouTube channel.
What was the first significant experience Dr. Taban had after becoming more well-known?
-The first significant experience Dr. Taban had was receiving a message from a barber in San Francisco who offered him a free haircut because he and his colleagues enjoyed Dr. Taban's content.
How did Dr. Taban initially react to the barber's offer?
-Dr. Taban was touched by the barber's offer, appreciating the genuine gesture of appreciation, but he never took the barber up on his offer.
What perspective does Dr. Taban use to analyze his experience with the barber's offer?
-Dr. Taban uses the perspective of behavioral economics and the sexual marketplace to analyze his experience and the value of the gift he was offered.
How does Dr. Taban relate his experience of being famous to the experiences of women?
-Dr. Taban relates his experience of being famous to women's experiences by discussing how both can receive unsolicited attention and gifts, and how this can impact their perception of self-worth and entitlement.
What is the difference Dr. Taban sees between the attention he receives as a famous person and the attention women receive?
-The difference is that as a famous person, Dr. Taban has earned the attention through his work, whereas women often receive attention seemingly just for being themselves, which can lead to a distorted view of self-worth.
What advice does Dr. Taban give to men regarding the attention they give to women?
-Dr. Taban advises men to stop giving women unearned attention, as it contributes to a distorted sense of self-worth and entitlement in women.
What is the name of the GRE test prep program Dr. Taban mentions in the script?
-The GRE test prep program Dr. Taban mentions is called Stellar GRE.
What kind of results does Dr. Taban claim for his GRE test prep program, Stellar GRE?
-Dr. Taban claims that his students using the Stellar GRE program have higher average score improvements compared to competitors' score guarantees.
How does Dr. Taban describe the structure of his GRE test prep course, Stellar GRE?
-The course includes a 500-page test prep manual, thousands of practice problems, and several full-length mock exams.
What special offer does Dr. Taban provide for his GRE test prep program through the script?
-Dr. Taban offers a 10% discount on any membership plan for his GRE test prep program, Stellar GRE, with the code 'psych'.
Outlines
🎥 Fame and Unexpected Generosity
Dr. Orion Taban discusses his experiences with newfound fame through his YouTube channel, 'psyx'. He shares a personal anecdote about being offered a free haircut by a barber who appreciated his work, reflecting on how this was the first time a stranger had given him a gift in his adult life. He then delves into a behavioral economics perspective, comparing his experience to the 'sexual marketplace', where men often offer gifts to women with the expectation of initiating a sexual relationship. Dr. Taban highlights the difference in how men and women might perceive such unsolicited generosity, suggesting that women might feel entitled to such attention due to its frequent occurrence.
🌟 The Paradox of Fame and Gender Dynamics
In this paragraph, Dr. Taban continues to explore the implications of fame, likening it to the constant attention women receive, often in the form of compliments and offers of gifts. He speculates on how this might affect a woman's self-worth and entitlement, suggesting that it could lead to a distorted self-perception. He contrasts this with his own experience as a man, where he feels he has had to earn any good treatment he receives, primarily by providing value to others. Dr. Taban also touches on the visibility of fame and how it can change one's life, making a case for men to become 'visibly competent' to gain similar benefits in the 'sexual marketplace'. He concludes by advising men to reconsider giving unearned attention to women, as it contributes to certain delusions about self-worth.
📚 GRE Prep and Stellar's Advantage
The final paragraph shifts focus to Dr. Taban's GRE test preparation service, Stellar. He outlines his background as a top GRE test prep instructor and introduces Stellar's online self-study program. The program includes a comprehensive test prep manual, a plethora of practice problems, and several full-length mock exams. Dr. Taban emphasizes the effectiveness of Stellar, noting that students have achieved higher average score improvements compared to competitors. He offers a discount code 'psych' for 10% off any membership plan and invites interested students to start a free trial at Stellar's website.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Fame
💡Behavioral Economics
💡Sexual Marketplace
💡Validation
💡Self-Worth
💡Entitlement
💡Visibility
💡Gratitude
💡Delusions
💡Basic Human Dignity
💡GRE
Highlights
Dr. Orion Taban discusses the experience of becoming well-known through his YouTube channel.
Being recognized in public and receiving unsolicited messages from fans worldwide.
A barber in San Francisco offers Dr. Taban a free haircut as a gesture of appreciation.
The realization that being famous is akin to being a woman in terms of receiving unsolicited attention.
Behavioral economics and the sexual marketplace are used as a lens to examine these experiences.
Dr. Taban reflects on his past behavior of offering gifts to women without any earned merit.
The idea that women may develop a sense of entitlement due to constant attention and gifts.
Fame is compared to physical attractiveness in terms of visibility and immediate recognition.
Dr. Taban's advice to men to stop giving unearned attention to women.
The impact of fame on one's perception of self-worth and the value of others.
The benefits of fame, such as meeting interesting people and receiving validation.
Dr. Taban's upcoming book 'The Value of Others' and his offer to sign up for his newsletter.
The introduction of Stellar GRE, Dr. Taban's online GRE self-study program.
Details of the Stellar GRE program, including a 500-page manual and full-length mock exams.
A special offer for Stellar GRE using the code 'psych' for a 10% discount.
Dr. Taban's call to action for audience engagement and feedback on his perspective.
Transcripts
I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx
Better Living Through psychology and the
topic of today's short talk is being
famous is like being a woman so I'm
going to go out in a limb on this one
because I'm only a little bit famous and
I'm clearly not a woman however becoming
well known through the YouTube channel
has afforded me some interesting
experiences experiences that as far as I
can tell just wouldn't have been
possible as the functionally anonymous
man I was just year ago and I'd like to
share some of those experiences with you
today nowadays I get recognized when I
go out in public and people from all
over the world both men and women reach
out to me unprovoked for all kinds of
different reasons needless to say
neither of these things tended to happen
before the channel blew up and I'd like
to start by talking about one of the
first such messages I received about a
year ago back when the channel had just
a few million views I actually can't
remember if this was a comment or a DM
or an email and I'm embarrassed to say
that I don't remember the name of the
sender or the business but I do remember
the thrust of the message which is the
important part for our intents and
purposes apparently the guy who
contacted me was a barber who worked at
a barber shop in San Francisco he told
me that he and all the other guys in the
shop loved my stuff and when they
learned that I lived in the area they
collectively invited me to come in for a
haircut on the
house now I never took the guy up on his
offer but I wish I could give him a
proper shout out nonetheless because his
offer was very sweet and genuine he
clearly didn't have to express his
appreciation like that and I was touched
that he did so now it took me some time
to realize this like it didn't hit me
right away but this was the first time a
stranger like someone I had never met in
my life had ever offered to give me
something at least as far as I can
remember I'm sure some adults gave me
little treats when I was a kid but here
I was 40 years old and I was being
offered a gift by a stranger for the
first time in my adult
life maybe you know where this is going
as I often do I started to look at this
experience through the lens of
Behavioral economics and the sexual
Marketplace so the value of a haircut is
about 40 bucks and all I apparent had to
do to earn that gift was to provide
value to a few million
people now 40 bucks is like two drinks
at the bar over the course of my
adulthood to how many women have I made
an equivalent
offer like the barber I was often a
total stranger to these women and I was
just showing up unannounced with an
offer to give them something and I and
not because they did anything
particularly impressive or useful or
exciting or virtuous but just because I
thought they looked cute and I did this
not because I was grateful like the
barber was after all what did I have to
be grateful for these women hadn't done
anything but because I thought that
offering that gift would increase the
chances of initiating a sexual
relationship with her and of course if I
was offering these gifts to her how many
other men were doing the same now before
I go any further if you're liking what
you're hearing then please consider
sending this episode to someone who
might benefit from its message because
it's Word of Mouth referrals like this
that really help to make the channel
grow I'm also proud to announce that
I'll soon be publishing my book the
value of others so if you'd like to
learn more about that you can go to my
website and sign up for my Weekly
Newsletter finally please fill out an
inquiry form on my website if you're
interested in booking a paid
consultation the link is in the
description okay let's get back to it
this is why being famous is like being a
woman on the whole when you're famous
people treat you really really
well like at this point I can kind of
count on a guy coming up to me to pay
his respects like several times a week
he'll come up and say hey are are you
that guy whoa let me shake your hand I
really love what you do you've helped me
out so much thank you for all the great
content keep it up keep it up man and
let me tell you that's really cool like
it's it's one of the best things about
the success of this channel one of the
best things about the success of this
channel is that it's allowed me to meet
so many interesting people that I
probably would never have met otherwise
and because I'm just here in my house
talking to a camera it's really great to
be able to meet the people on the other
end of the line especially since they're
generally so grateful and positive and
encouraging like it always makes my day
I feel happy when it happens and it
definitely helps me to feel more
confident about moving forward with the
channel and now I can also kind of
imagine what it might be like to be a
woman who can kind of count on a guy
coming up to her to pay his respect
several times a week like excuse me wow
you're beautiful I'd love to be able to
buy you something sometime like a drink
a meal what do you say would you go out
with me like even if I was happily
married how wouldn't that feel good
how wouldn't that feel validating and
flattering I'm sure it would make my day
a little brighter and put a spring in my
step but of course the difference would
be that as a woman I wouldn't think that
I did anything to deserve that kind of
attention or
treatment no I would just think that I
was someone who deserved that kind of
attention or treatment and why wouldn't
I even I would know that I didn't do
anything to earn that attention
which would mean that if I was receiving
that attention it must be because of who
I was not because of anything that I
might have done and this in turn might
cause me in time to believe that I was
entitled to that treatment in kind of
the same way that I as a man believe
that I'm entitled to like basic human
dignity this is why I think so many
women think that they're the prize like
inherently most women are kind of
lowgrade famous
in the sense that they receive treatment
comparable to someone with a few hundred
thousand followers on social media like
just for breathing and I can only
imagine what it would be like if people
were coming out of the Woodworks to pay
me compliments and offer me gifts from a
very young age like what a distorted
view of my own selfworth would I likely
have of course those gifts often come
with strings attached as I admitted
they're designed to functionally lure a
woman into a sexual Rel relationship
however that would have to be mystified
those strings would have to stay very
well hidden because if I believed that I
was entitled to those gifts just by like
being a good person I would absolutely
be insulted by any insinuation of an
ulterior motive or any expectation of
reciprocity on the other hand as a man
I've kind of had to earn any good
treatment that I've received generally
by providing value to others and in this
case by providing value to a lot of
other people so it's not something that
I take for granted however I doubt that
I would ever have thought that there was
anything odd about this Arrangement
until I attain to the very special form
of success called Fame my dude's Fame is
not like wealth or ABS or status and
that's because those things aren't
always visible and obvious Fame is like
being hot regardless of how physically
attractive you actually are
because like hotness Fame is highly
visible and immediately apparent and let
me tell you women respond to fame the
same way men respond to hotness and this
is why I have advised you guys many
times to find ways to become visibly
competent the kind of attention you
receive as a man by being visibly
competent is a force multiplier in the
sexual Marketplace like you might even
be disgusted by how easy things become
because potentially nothing else about
you has changed except for the fact that
more people now know that you
exist in any case my point is this I
don't think I would have ever fully
appreciated how tough and unfair life
can be for men until my life started to
become a little
easier like I didn't even think that was
possible
I just kind of thought that the way
things were were the way they had to be
they're not and if we men can do one
thing to effectively change a situation
that we were complicit in creating it's
this stop giving women unearned
attention I know it's hard to do I did
it myself for years but it's absolutely
a big part of why women today walk
around with certain delusions about
their own self-worth they were trained
to think that way by the men around them
men like you and me something to
consider what do you think does this fit
with your own experience let me know in
the comments below as always I
appreciate your support and thank you
for listening and now a word about
Stellar if you're interested in pursuing
a master's degree or a doctorate chances
are good that you'll have to take the gr
now before I became a psychologist I was
actually one of the world's top GRE test
prep instructors over 20 years I
developed a unique and practical system
for dismantling every aspect of this
test and I helped thousands of students
achieve top percentile scores on the
exam today students can learn the same
system I use to achieve my own perfect
score with Stellar gr my online GRE
self-study program I personally wrote
and designed every aspect of this course
among other things it in includes a 500
page test prep manual thousands of
practice problems and several fulllength
mock exams just like my episodes Stellar
is designed to give students the
strategies and techniques they need to
succeed as clearly and succinctly as
possible and the best part is Stellar
Works my students average score
improvements are higher than my
competitors score guarantees so create
an account and start your free trial
today at St
g.com use the code psych for 10% off any
membership plan the link is in the
description
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