Six behaviors to increase your confidence | Emily Jaenson | TEDxReno

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares her journey from shyness to becoming the first female general manager of a Triple-A baseball team in nearly 20 years. She attributes her success to adopting six confidence-building behaviors: counting oneself in, giving oneself 20 seconds of courage, taking a seat at the table, cheering for others' success, leveraging past achievements, and celebrating constantly. These strategies helped her navigate the male-dominated sports industry and host a successful podcast, 'Leadership is Female,' where she interviews other female executives. The speaker encourages everyone to embrace these behaviors to boost their confidence and achieve their dreams.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Confidence is a key attribute for success, especially in male-dominated industries like sports management.
• 🔄 To instill confidence, it's important to start with behaviors rather than attitudes, as changed behaviors can lead to altered attitudes.
• 🤔 Self-reflection on 'Who am I?', 'Who do I want to become?', and 'How does this person behave?' is crucial for personal growth and confidence building.
• 🏆 The speaker's journey from shyness to becoming the first female general manager of a Triple-A baseball team in nearly 20 years illustrates the power of behavioral change.
• 🎙️ The 'Leadership is Female' podcast highlights the importance of confidence in the advancement of female executives in the sports industry.
• 📝 Six behaviors are suggested to increase confidence: counting yourself in, giving yourself 20 seconds of courage, taking a seat at the table, cheering for others' success, leveraging past successes, and celebrating constantly.
• 🗣️ Counting down can be a powerful technique to initiate action and build momentum, especially in high-pressure situations.
• ⏱️ Sometimes, bravery only needs to last for 20 seconds to make a significant impact, such as publishing a podcast or making a difficult decision.
• 🪑 Taking a literal seat at the table is a metaphor for actively participating and asserting oneself in important discussions and decisions.
• 🎉 Celebrating others' success can foster a supportive environment and is a behavior of confident individuals who are not threatened by the achievements of their peers.
• 🏅 Using past successes as a springboard can bolster confidence for new challenges and is a strategy that has proven effective for career advancement.
• 🎉 Constant celebration of achievements, both big and small, helps to reinforce the behaviors that led to success and builds a positive association with accomplishment.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial behavior when asked to order a pizza for her family?

The speaker was too shy to talk to a stranger, so she looked up the number in the phone book and handed the phone to her older brother to place the call.

How did the speaker feel during her first few weeks at the University of Illinois?

The speaker felt homesick and cried in her dorm room, too upset to participate in freshman parties, and was disappointed by the one frat party she attended.

What was the speaker's realization about her behaviors in relation to her goals?

The speaker realized her behaviors, such as crying in her dorm room, avoiding social engagement, and not attending class due to fear, were not going to help her achieve her goal of becoming a sports executive.

What does research suggest is the best way to initiate change in people?

Research suggests that to initiate change in people, one should start with the behaviors associated with the desired attitudes, not the attitudes themselves. When people see themselves behaving differently, they begin to act differently.

What were the three questions the speaker asked herself to understand her desired behavior?

The speaker asked herself 'Who am I?', 'Who do I want to become?', and 'How does this person I want to become behave?'

What career did the speaker aspire to, and how did she start acting to achieve it?

The speaker aspired to a career as a sports executive. She began to act more confidently, which eventually led her to become the first female general manager of a Triple-A baseball team in nearly 20 years.

What is the 'Leadership is Female' podcast about, and who has the speaker interviewed on it?

The 'Leadership is Female' podcast is about interviewing female executives in sports, an industry that is over 80% male at management level and above. The speaker has interviewed over 90 female executives on the podcast.

What is the number one skill that the interviewed female executives in sports have improved to earn their spot at the top, according to the speaker?

The number one skill that the interviewed female executives have improved to earn their spot at the top is confidence.

What are the six behaviors the speaker suggests to increase confidence, and why are they important?

The six behaviors are: 1) Count yourself in, 2) Give yourself 20 seconds of courage, 3) Take a seat at the table, 4) Cheer for other people's success, 5) Bolster your confidence for a new activity through your already great performance in another, and 6) Celebrate constantly. These behaviors are important because they help individuals to act with more confidence, which can lead to achieving greater success in their personal and professional lives.

How did the speaker use the 'count yourself in' technique to handle an uncomfortable situation?

The speaker used the 'count yourself in' technique when she had to confront the opposing manager about his team wearing the wrong color uniform. She counted down from three in her mind to start the conversation and gain momentum.

What is the significance of giving oneself 20 seconds of courage, as suggested by the speaker?

The significance of giving oneself 20 seconds of courage is that it can help individuals overcome the fear of taking action, such as publishing a podcast or making a difficult decision. It provides a short burst of bravery to initiate the action and then the momentum to continue.

Why is it important to take a seat at the table, and what did the speaker learn from a woman in baseball?

It is important to take a seat at the table because it symbolizes taking part in important discussions and decisions. The speaker learned from a woman in baseball that women often wait around the edges of the room, but to become more confident, one must actively participate by sitting down and speaking up.

How does cheering for other people's success contribute to one's own confidence?

Cheering for other people's success contributes to one's own confidence by fostering a supportive environment and reducing feelings of jealousy or threat. It helps individuals to celebrate the achievements of others without feeling diminished themselves, and it builds a network of support for when their own time comes.

What is the connection between prior success and bolstering confidence for a new activity, as explained by the speaker?

The connection is that reflecting on prior success can provide a boost of confidence for new activities or challenges. By recognizing one's achievements and capabilities, individuals can draw from that confidence to tackle new tasks and believe in their ability to succeed.

Why is it important to celebrate constantly, and how can it help in reinforcing successful behaviors?

It is important to celebrate constantly because it helps to create a positive association with success and reinforces the behaviors that led to that success. By finding meaningful ways to celebrate achievements, individuals can create markers in their brain that help them remember and build upon their successes.

How has the speaker's journey from being unable to order a pizza to becoming a confident leader reflect her growth in confidence?

The speaker's journey reflects her growth in confidence through her decision to change her behaviors and attitudes. She went from being too shy to order a pizza to becoming the general manager of a minor league baseball team, starting a podcast, and delivering a TEDx talk, showcasing her transformation into a more confident person.