HOW TO BE SOCIAL - HOW TO NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY

Summary

In this video, the presenter discusses how to overcome awkward silences in conversations and become more approachable. The video introduces three techniques: removing the mental filter that stops you from speaking freely, using 'threading' to branch off conversations into multiple topics, and applying the 'Pratfall Effect' where making mistakes actually increases likability. The key takeaway is to stop worrying about appearing perfect, embrace imperfection, and let conversations flow naturally. By practicing these techniques, you'll become more comfortable and confident in social situations, ultimately leading to deeper and more engaging interactions.

Takeaways

• 😀 Don't let awkward silences hold you back from meeting new people – it's a common challenge that can be overcome.
• 😀 Filtering your thoughts and holding back from speaking freely can hinder communication. It's important to break free from this habit.
• 😀 The ‘no filtering approach’ encourages you to say whatever comes to your mind, without overthinking whether it sounds cool or impressive.
• 😀 Practice this ‘no filter’ technique first with people you know, and gradually apply it to new conversations.
• 😀 Threading is a conversation technique where you branch out from what someone says to create multiple directions for discussion.
• 😀 By using threading, you can create endless conversation paths, such as asking about experiences, interests, or sharing your own stories.
• 😀 The Pratfall Effect states that making mistakes can actually make you more likeable by showing your human side.
• 😀 Embrace imperfections and mistakes during conversations – they make you appear more relatable and approachable.
• 😀 Trying to appear perfect can make you seem intimidating, while showing that you're human can make others feel more comfortable around you.
• 😀 When you combine the no-filter approach with threading, you’ll naturally make mistakes, which enhances the pratfall effect and increases your likability.
• 😀 Don't overthink your conversations – just talk freely, crack a joke if you feel like it, and remember that no one is perfect.

Q & A

What is the main challenge people face when trying to meet new people?

The main challenge people face is the awkward silence that can occur during conversations, which can make the experience uncomfortable and may even discourage them from meeting new people.

What is the first technique discussed to improve conversations?

The first technique is removing your internal filter. This involves not holding back from saying something until you've 'checked' with yourself whether it's cool or impressive enough. It encourages saying whatever comes to mind without overthinking.

How can filtering hinder communication?

Filtering can hinder communication because it causes you to second-guess what you want to say, making it harder to express yourself freely. This can lead to awkward pauses or silences, reducing the flow of the conversation.

How can someone practice removing their filter?

To practice removing the filter, one should start by speaking freely with people they aren't total strangers to. It involves saying whatever comes to mind as long as it's appropriate, helping you get used to being less self-conscious.

What is the second technique introduced in the video?

The second technique is threading, which involves branching off the conversation in different directions based on responses. This allows you to keep the conversation going in multiple directions and prevents it from stalling.

Can you provide an example of threading in a conversation?

An example of threading would be if someone mentions they interned in London for six months, you could ask about their experiences in London, the company they interned at, or even share your own travel experiences or thoughts about London.

What is the Pratfall Effect, and how does it influence likeability?

The Pratfall Effect suggests that people become more likeable when they make mistakes or show imperfections. It makes them seem more human and approachable, whereas perfection can sometimes make a person seem unapproachable or intimidating.

Why should someone embrace making mistakes in conversations?

Embracing mistakes makes you appear more relatable and human, increasing your likeability. People are more likely to open up to you because they feel you are just like them, rather than trying to appear perfect.

What combination of techniques leads to better conversations?

The combination of removing your internal filter, using threading to keep the conversation going, and leveraging the Pratfall Effect to appear more human works together to make conversations easier and more enjoyable. It helps in making deeper connections with others.

How can worrying about making a mistake affect a conversation?

Worrying too much about making a mistake can cause you to hold back and not speak freely, leading to awkward silences or lack of flow in the conversation. The key is to be confident in speaking your mind without fear of imperfection.