SETTING GOALS THAT MATTER | Samantha Kris | TEDxLaval

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares their personal journey of overcoming the fear of failure and introduces the 'Real Goal' methodology, a goal-setting approach built on four key pillars: Resonance (connecting goals to your core values), Empowerment (believing in yourself and taking action), Actionable Steps (breaking down goals into manageable tasks), and Lucrative Impact (understanding the personal benefits of success). The speaker emphasizes how aligning your goals with your deeper purpose can lead to overcoming obstacles and achieving lasting success, both personally and professionally.

Takeaways

• 😀 Overcoming fear is essential for growth and success, as illustrated by the speaker's experience bungee jumping in the Swiss Alps.
• 😀 The fear of failure can paralyze you, but facing it head-on can be a catalyst for achieving significant accomplishments.
• 😀 The 'real goal methodology' is a framework for setting and achieving goals that focuses on emotional connection and empowerment.
• 😀 Resonant goals, tied to your core values and 'why,' are more effective because they are emotionally stimulating and deeply personal.
• 😀 If you don't know why your goals matter to you, it's difficult to maintain motivation and make meaningful progress.
• 😀 Empowerment is key to overcoming self-doubt; replacing negative thoughts with empowering ones helps drive success.
• 😀 Believing in yourself and following through are crucial for achieving long-term success and overcoming obstacles.
• 😀 Breaking down goals into actionable steps helps reduce fear and uncertainty, making progress feel more manageable.
• 😀 Recognizing what’s in it for you (the 'lucrative' aspect) anchors your motivation and provides the necessary drive to push through difficulties.
• 😀 Identifying what you stand to gain from achieving your goal is important for staying motivated and focused during challenging times.
• 😀 Real goals align your thoughts, emotions, and actions, transforming goal-setting from a checklist to a way of life.

Q & A

What is the primary theme of the speaker's story?

The primary theme is overcoming the fear of failure and using a unique goal-setting methodology, called the Real Goal Methodology, to achieve success in both personal and professional life.

What was the speaker's initial fear before bungee jumping, and how does it relate to their experience with failure?

The speaker was terrified of bungee jumping because they felt paralyzed by fear, similar to the fear of failure they had experienced throughout their life. This fear had kept them from pursuing many opportunities until they learned to confront it.

How does the speaker describe their childhood relationship with extracurricular activities?

As a child, the speaker often dropped out of every extracurricular activity they signed up for, driven by a fear of not being good enough, and avoided sports altogether.

What is the Real Goal Methodology, and how did it impact the speaker's career?

The Real Goal Methodology is a goal-setting method developed by the speaker that focuses on creating goals with emotional resonance and a deep connection to one's personal 'why.' Using this method, the speaker earned five promotions, doubled their salary, started a successful business, and published a book in under a year.

What is the first pillar of the Real Goal Methodology?

The first pillar is 'Resonant Goals.' These goals have a direct connection to your core values and your 'why,' making them emotionally compelling and deeply motivating.

Can you give an example of a resonant goal from the speaker's experience?

A friend of the speaker who hated public speaking registered for Toastmasters to improve his skills because he was asked to deliver a eulogy for a close friend. His 'why' was to give the best talk of his life, despite his fear of public speaking.

What is the second pillar of the Real Goal Methodology?

The second pillar is 'Empowering,' which involves believing in yourself and following through on your goals, no matter the doubts or obstacles that arise.

What does the speaker say about self-sabotaging thoughts?

The speaker emphasizes that self-sabotaging thoughts, like 'I'm not good enough' or 'I can't do this,' do not breed success. Instead, replacing them with empowering thoughts like 'I am enough' or 'I will learn' is crucial for progress.

What is the third pillar of the Real Goal Methodology?

The third pillar is 'Actionable.' It focuses on breaking down goals into smaller, actionable steps to reduce fear and minimize risks, helping individuals stay motivated even when progress feels slow.

Why is identifying what's in it for you considered important in the Real Goal Methodology?

Identifying what’s in it for you—referred to as the 'lucrative' aspect of a goal—helps anchor your goals to something that is personally meaningful, ensuring motivation and commitment to the process, even when challenges arise.