WHY COLD MEN ALWAYS WIN!

Summary

This video script explores the complex dynamics of attraction and emotional distance, particularly focusing on why some women are drawn to men who exhibit coldness. It delves into the psychological effects of coldness, such as the challenge it presents, the scarcity effect, and the sense of control it can provide. The speaker also discusses the familiarity coldness can bring to those with certain past relationship experiences and how it can trigger insecurities in people pleasers. The script further examines the non-verbal cues of cold individuals and how they can be attractive, as well as the biases that coldness can exploit in our minds. Ultimately, it advises on maintaining emotional control and the importance of a balanced approach to relationships, rather than perpetual coldness which can lead to loneliness and unfulfilling connections.

Takeaways

• 🧊 Emotional Distance: The script discusses the concept of 'coldness' as an emotional distance rather than outright hostility towards women, and how it can affect their reactions.
• 🤔 Attraction to Coldness: It explains that sometimes a bit of coldness can be attractive and gain respect because it's perceived as a reaction to disrespect.
• 👤 Personality Traits: The video is aimed at people who are naturally warm and may be taken advantage of, suggesting that a balance of warmth and coldness can be beneficial.
• 🔄 Human Reaction: It describes a common human reaction where we tend to like those who don't like us back and question why cold people are attractive.
• 🎯 Challenge and Scarcity: Cold individuals are seen as a challenge and activate the scarcity effect, making them more desirable because they seem less available.
• 🕵️‍♂️ Independence and Control: Coldness can give a sense of independence and control, which some people find attractive.
• 🔄 Familiarity and Past Dynamics: People may be drawn to coldness if it's familiar from their past relationships or family environments.
• 📉 Self-Esteem and Validation: Coldness can cause a hit to one's self-esteem, leading to a chase for validation rather than genuine connection.
• 👥 Non-Verbal Cues: The non-verbal cues of cold people, such as relaxed body language and slower speech, can be attractive and create a sense of strength and confidence.
• 🤔 Bias and Imagination: Coldness can trigger biases and activate people's imagination, causing them to wonder and chase after the cold individual.
• 🧘‍♂️ Self-Control and Meditation: The script suggests developing a meditation practice to control emotions and avoid being attracted to coldness.

Q & A

What is the main point the speaker is trying to convey about 'coldness' in relationships?

The speaker suggests that coldness can sometimes be perceived as attractive because it creates a sense of challenge and scarcity, but it's not a healthy basis for a relationship. It's important to understand why some people are attracted to cold individuals, rather than adopting coldness as a means to gain respect or attraction.

Why might someone be attracted to cold or emotionally distant individuals?

The attraction to cold or emotionally distant individuals can stem from a psychological response to a perceived challenge or scarcity. It may also be due to a desire for independence and control, or because the coldness provides a sense of familiarity based on past relationship dynamics.

What does the speaker mean by 'coldness in a little dose'?

The speaker is referring to the idea that a moderate amount of emotional distance or 'coldness' can sometimes be beneficial in gaining respect from others, as long as it is not excessive or indicative of a deeper personality flaw.

How does the speaker describe the effect of coldness on a person's self-esteem?

The speaker explains that coldness can activate a person's insecurities, leading them to question their self-worth and causing them to chase after the cold individual in an attempt to win their affection or validation.

What is the 'scarcity effect' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to attraction?

The scarcity effect is a psychological principle suggesting that when something is less available or harder to attain, it becomes more desirable. In the context of relationships, cold or indifferent individuals can create a sense of scarcity, making them seem more attractive to potential partners.

Why do some people feel uncomfortable when they encounter a partner who is warm and genuinely caring?

Some individuals may have been accustomed to cold or emotionally unavailable partners, and thus, when they encounter a warm and caring partner, it disrupts their established patterns and creates feelings of unease. This discomfort can stem from various reasons and patterns of behavior, including a belief that love and affection are scarce or difficult to obtain.

What is the speaker's opinion on the use of the 'hot and cold' method in relationships?

The speaker acknowledges that the hot and cold method can create confusion and desire within a person, but they do not recommend it due to the negative impact it can have on relationships and the potential for manipulation.

How does the speaker describe the non-verbal cues of cold people?

The speaker describes the non-verbal cues of cold people as more distant and dominant. They may speak slower, maintain less eye contact, and have a more relaxed tone of voice, which can paradoxically make them appear strong and confident.

What is the 'impostor syndrome' mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to attraction to cold people?

Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals don't believe they deserve success or recognition. In the context of relationships, it can lead people to be attracted to cold individuals because deep down, they believe that's what they deserve or are capable of attracting.

Why do people pleasers often find themselves attracted to cold individuals?

People pleasers are often attracted to cold individuals because the coldness triggers their insecurities and challenges their ego, leading them to chase after the cold person in an attempt to gain their approval or affection.

What advice does the speaker give to counteract the natural human tendency to be attracted to cold people?

The speaker suggests developing a meditation practice, reading 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle, or attending a meditation retreat as ways to gain self-awareness and control over one's emotions, which can help counteract the attraction to cold individuals.

What is the speaker's final note on cold people in terms of their behavior in relationships?

The speaker notes that cold people often have too much pride to return to a relationship, and if they don't like you, they are unlikely to come back. This lack of return can lead to further chasing from the person who is attracted to them.