Put her to work: women want to care for you

Summary

In this episode of 'Psyx', Dr. Orion Terban discusses the importance of men encouraging women to contribute value in relationships, rather than treating them as passive recipients. He emphasizes that women naturally desire to nurture but need the right partner to invest in them. By testing a woman's character early on, men can determine her level of interest and commitment. Dr. Terban also explores how modern courtship has skewed traditional dynamics, with women often seen as the 'prize,' leading to unbalanced relationships. Men should engage women actively and request responsibility to gauge genuine interest and long-term potential.

Takeaways

• 😀 Women, in general, are interested in providing value in relationships, but they need to genuinely want to be in a relationship to do so enthusiastically.
• 😀 Men should avoid confusing women who seem uninterested in providing value with women who aren't interested in providing value at all.
• 😀 Men who invest in their own attractiveness, fitness, wealth, and lifestyle will naturally attract women who are eager to contribute to the relationship.
• 😀 Women often have a nurturing instinct, which can be unfulfilled when they don't have someone to care for, leading to anxiety or frustration.
• 😀 The modern courtship dynamic has shifted, with women increasingly seen as the prize, which can destabilize relationships and leave the nurturing impulse unfulfilled.
• 😀 Many men mistakenly think that by caring for women, they will eventually get the nurturing and value they seek in return, but this can lead to an unsustainable relationship dynamic.
• 😀 A woman who is genuinely interested in a man will readily take on responsibilities, seeing them as opportunities to prove her worth, rather than as chores.
• 😀 Men should ask women to do things for them early in the relationship to gauge her interest and character.
• 😀 A woman who refuses to take on responsibility may signal poor character or low interest, which can prevent men from wasting their resources on the wrong women.
• 😀 Women should see requests from men as opportunities to demonstrate their value, especially in the context of long-term relationships, as this offers protection against abandonment.
• 😀 Men should not be afraid to ask women for help or contributions. This will either provide what they want or force the woman to reveal her true intentions, which is beneficial either way.

Q & A

What is the central theme of Dr. Orion Terban's message in this video?

Dr. Orion Terban discusses the importance of men setting clear expectations in their relationships with women. He advocates for men to put women to work early in the courtship to gauge their interest and character, and to establish mutual value in the relationship.

What issue do many men face when dating women, according to Dr. Terban?

Many men complain that they can't find women who are looking to provide value in relationships. Instead, they often meet women who are more interested in being taken care of, not in contributing or adding value.

How does Dr. Terban explain women's tendency to nurture and care for others?

Dr. Terban explains that women have an evolved instinct to nurture, which has been a key role in raising children who lack awareness of potential dangers. When women lack someone to nurture, they may experience anxiety and dissatisfaction.

What does Dr. Terban suggest is a key factor in a woman's willingness to provide value in a relationship?

The key factor is whether a woman feels a genuine connection and interest in the man. If a woman is truly invested in the relationship, she will be enthusiastic about contributing to it.

How does Dr. Terban compare modern courtship to traditional courtship?

Dr. Terban contrasts modern courtship, where women are treated as the prize and value is assumed to flow from men to women, with traditional relationships where both partners contribute equally, particularly with women fulfilling nurturing roles.

What does Dr. Terban mean by 'putting a woman to work' in a relationship?

Dr. Terban refers to asking a woman to take on responsibilities and contribute value early in the relationship. This helps to gauge her commitment and character, ensuring that she is genuinely interested in a long-term relationship.

What can men learn from observing a woman's response to requests for help or responsibility?

Men can assess a woman's level of interest and character by how she responds to requests. A woman who hesitates or complains is likely less committed or not genuinely interested, whereas a woman who embraces responsibility shows her investment in the relationship.

How does Dr. Terban explain the concept of the 'fairy boat captain'?

The 'fairy boat captain' analogy describes a man who pampers a woman without setting clear expectations, making her feel like a passenger rather than an equal partner. This dynamic is unsustainable, as the woman does not see herself as an active contributor to the relationship.

What is the difference between a woman who is genuinely interested in a man and one who is not, according to Dr. Terban?

A genuinely interested woman will view requests from a man as opportunities to contribute and prove her value in the relationship. In contrast, a woman who is not interested will avoid taking on responsibilities or may demand compensation for her involvement.

Why does Dr. Terban suggest that men should not be afraid to ask women to do things for them?

Dr. Terban believes that asking women to do things early on reveals their true level of interest and commitment. If a woman is unwilling to contribute, it helps men avoid investing in the wrong relationship, while also providing insight into her character.