What I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

Summary

In this motivational talk, the speaker shares personal anecdotes about overcoming learned helplessness and the importance of self-determination. Drawing on experiences from childhood in Vancouver and challenges faced in pursuing a career in film, the speaker highlights how taking control and pushing through obstacles leads to success. Through a mix of psychological studies, personal reflection, and examples from their own journey, the speaker encourages viewers to recognize their ability to change and shape their own future, emphasizing that success often comes when we stop waiting for others to provide opportunities.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Taking Initiative**: The speaker's personal experience shows that taking initiative, like calling a film director directly, can lead to unexpected opportunities.
• 😀 **Overcoming Rejection**: Despite being rejected multiple times by film schools, the speaker stresses the importance of persistence and finding alternate paths to success.
• 😀 **Learned Helplessness**: The concept of learned helplessness shows how people may feel powerless after experiencing repeated setbacks, but it’s possible to break this cycle by recognizing your ability to act.
• 😀 **Control and Performance**: People who have control over a situation tend to perform better, even if they don't exercise that control, as it provides a sense of empowerment.
• 😀 **The Employee vs. Manager Mindset**: The divide between employees and managers reflects a difference in mindset—employees often seek external solutions when facing obstacles, while managers look for internal solutions.
• 😀 **External Help Limitations**: No one can truly help you achieve your goals; ultimately, you have to take responsibility for your success and act on your own.
• 😀 **The Power of Belief**: Adopting the belief that you can change more than you think is essential to overcoming barriers and achieving success.
• 😀 **School and Learned Helplessness**: The school system may inadvertently promote learned helplessness by creating environments where students feel controlled and powerless.
• 😀 **Self-Reliance in Career Paths**: Many career paths don't have a clear formula for success, and it’s up to the individual to figure out how to break into a desired field.
• 😀 **Empowering Yourself**: The challenge is to break out of the passive, employee mindset and actively create your own opportunities rather than waiting for someone else to provide them.

Q & A

What is the primary message the speaker is conveying in the transcript?

The primary message of the transcript is about overcoming learned helplessness and realizing that individuals have control over their own lives and careers. The speaker emphasizes that self-determination is key to success, even when external help or validation seems elusive.

What is 'learned helplessness' and how is it demonstrated in the script?

Learned helplessness is a psychological phenomenon where individuals believe they cannot control their circumstances, even when they actually can. In the script, the speaker references experiments with dogs who were subjected to electric shocks. Some dogs could stop the shocks, but those who had no control over the shocks eventually learned to passively accept them, even when they later had the ability to stop them.

How does the speaker use their personal experience in Vancouver to illustrate their message?

The speaker recounts how, as a teenager in Vancouver, they reached out to a film director they admired, illustrating their desire for mentorship and opportunities in the film industry. This anecdote highlights their early experience with seeking external help and the realization that self-reliance and initiative are more important for achieving their goals.

What point does the speaker make regarding the role of external validation in career paths?

The speaker suggests that external validation—such as getting into film school or receiving help from others—should not be the sole focus. Success in many fields requires individuals to carve their own paths and prove their capabilities through self-reliance and determination, rather than waiting for permission or opportunities from others.

What example does the speaker use to contrast employee and managerial mindsets?

The speaker contrasts the mindsets of employees and managers by sharing a personal story from their research assistant job. As an employee, they would ask their supervisor for help whenever they encountered a roadblock, rather than trying to resolve the issue themselves. This highlights the difference between a passive approach (employee mindset) and an active, solution-oriented mindset (managerial mindset).

How does the speaker address the issue of career paths and education?

The speaker reflects on their own experiences of applying to acting and film schools, where they faced multiple rejections. They point out that certain careers, like becoming a doctor or a lawyer, follow a clear and structured path, but many careers do not, and success in these fields often depends on finding one's own way to gain experience and recognition.

How does the concept of learned helplessness relate to the education system?

The speaker critiques the education system for potentially fostering learned helplessness in students. They suggest that by taking control away from kids—through rigid structures, standardized tests, and punishments—the system may inadvertently teach them that they lack agency, making it harder for them to take control of their futures when they enter the adult world.

What is the significance of the quote 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...' in the transcript?

The quote, which is part of the Serenity Prayer, is used by the speaker to emphasize the importance of understanding the difference between things you cannot change and things you can. The speaker argues that we should focus on what we can change and adopt a mindset that believes in personal agency, as often the seemingly impossible challenges are more achievable than they first appear.

What role do books play in the speaker's perspective, and how does the speaker recommend one book?

Books have had a significant impact on the speaker's life, shaping their worldview and approach to challenges. The speaker specifically recommends *Predictably Irrational* by Dan Ariely, which explores how human behavior is often irrational and how understanding these patterns can help navigate life’s decisions more effectively.

What is the connection between the speaker's recommendation of Audible and the main message of the transcript?

The speaker recommends Audible as a convenient way to access books, particularly *Predictably Irrational* by Dan Ariely, to further explore how irrational behavior influences decisions. This ties back to the main message of the transcript, which encourages individuals to take control of their actions and decisions, rather than relying on external forces or societal expectations.