Finding Our Positive Self Talk | Sandra Fuentes | TEDxGoshen
Summary
TLDRThe speaker shares a personal journey of self-talk and its impact on self-perception and success. They encourage the audience to transform negative self-talk into positive affirmations, illustrating the power of words through their own experiences and a story about a customer in their clothing store. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-care and positivity, especially during challenging times. They recount the story of a grandmother who, after being encouraged to try on clothes, found joy and confidence in her appearance. The speaker also discusses the challenges they faced in their business and how they overcame them by adapting to online sales and social media marketing, demonstrating resilience and the ability to reinvent oneself in the face of adversity.
Takeaways
- 🗣️ The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-talk and how it affects our daily lives, encouraging the audience to reflect on their own internal dialogue.
- 📚 The speaker admits to talking to themselves frequently and uses it as a tool for self-reflection and motivation.
- 🚶♀️ The speaker shares personal anecdotes about tripping on stage to illustrate the power of negative self-talk and the need to overcome it.
- 🌟 The speaker owns a women's clothing and gift shop with a vision to create a judgment-free and comfortable space for customers.
- 🛍️ The store offers a personal shopping experience, focusing on making customers feel confident and valued.
- 📝 The store displays motivational signs to inspire customers and promote positive self-perception.
- 👵 The speaker recounts a story of helping an older woman feel beautiful and confident in her clothing, highlighting the store's impact on self-esteem.
- 💻 The speaker faced a period of depression and business challenges, which led to a realization about the need for change and reinvention.
- 🌐 In response to the challenges, the speaker pivoted the business to an online platform, embracing social media and virtual shopping to ensure survival.
- 🎥 The speaker had to adapt to new ways of engaging with customers, such as conducting live videos, to maintain the business's presence.
- 💪 The speaker concludes with a message of resilience and positivity, urging the audience to face struggles and obstacles with a committed and positive mindset.
Q & A
How often does the speaker talk to herself in a day?
-The speaker talks to herself about a hundred times a day, as she mentioned in the script.
What was the first thing the speaker said to herself this morning before opening her eyes?
-The first thing the speaker said to herself was 'breathe', followed by 'do not trip on stage'.
What is the speaker's profession and what is her vision for her business?
-The speaker owns a women's clothing store and gift shop. Her vision was to create a comfortable space where people would feel confident walking through the door without any judgment.
What is the significance of the signs in the speaker's store?
-The signs in the store are meant to convey positive messages and inspire the customers, making them feel their best and encouraging self-care.
Can you describe a specific interaction the speaker had with a customer in her store?
-The speaker shared a story about a grandmother who initially felt she was too old to wear anything in the store. After being encouraged to try on some clothes, the woman felt great and thanked the speaker for making her feel good about herself.
What was the turning point for the speaker's business?
-The turning point was when the speaker felt depressed and defeated because everything she had worked hard for was falling to pieces. This led her to reinvent the store and her way of thinking.
How did the speaker adapt her business to the changing circumstances?
-The speaker adapted her business by going online, creating a website, and using social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram for personal and virtual shopping experiences.
What was the speaker's initial feeling about doing live videos in front of a live audience?
-The speaker admitted that doing live videos was hard, but she felt good about it once she started doing it.
What message does the speaker want the audience to take away from her talk?
-The speaker wants the audience to understand that struggles and obstacles can make us tired, but they also offer opportunities to become stronger and better, as long as we stay committed and positive.
What is the importance of the phrase 'I can, I will' in the speaker's message?
-The phrase 'I can, I will' signifies the speaker's determination and positive attitude, emphasizing the power of self-belief and commitment in overcoming challenges.
How does the speaker use her personal experiences to connect with the audience?
-The speaker shares personal anecdotes, such as her tendency to talk to herself and her experiences with customers, to create a relatable narrative and to illustrate the importance of positivity and self-care.
Outlines
🗣️ Self-Talk and Positivity
The speaker begins by greeting the audience and emphasizing the importance of self-talk. They encourage the audience to reflect on their internal dialogue, asking what the first words they spoke to themselves were that morning. The speaker shares their own frequent self-talk, including a humorous anecdote about tripping on stage, to illustrate the power of words. They discuss the tendency to use negative language and the need to transform these negative phrases into positive affirmations. The speaker also talks about their women's clothing and gift shop, which was designed to be a judgment-free space that promotes confidence and self-love, with signs that carry empowering messages.
👚 Personal Shopping and Reinvention
The speaker recounts a heartwarming story about helping a grandmother find clothes that made her feel great in their store. This experience highlights the store's mission to make customers feel good about themselves. However, the speaker then shares a difficult time when the business faced challenges and needed to reinvent itself. They describe the process of shifting to an online presence and embracing social media for personal shopping and virtual shopping experiences. The speaker emphasizes the importance of changing one's mindset and maintaining a positive and determined attitude, which was crucial for the survival and success of their business.
💪 Overcoming Obstacles with Positivity
In the final paragraph, the speaker invites the audience to reflect on the words they said to themselves that morning, suggesting that these words can reveal changes in their mindset and struggles. They acknowledge the exhaustion that comes from facing obstacles and unthinkable situations but assert that these challenges are opportunities for growth. The speaker concludes by reinforcing the message of resilience and the importance of staying committed and positive, ending on a note of encouragement and gratitude.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Self-talk
💡Negative phrases
💡Personal shopping
💡Self-care
💡Body positivity
💡Reinvention
💡Online business
💡Social media
💡Determination
💡Productivity
💡Opportunity
Highlights
The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-talk and how it can affect one's day.
The speaker shares personal anecdotes about tripping on stage and knocking things over, illustrating the impact of self-talk on actions.
Negative self-talk is a common issue that the speaker discusses, encouraging the audience to turn negative phrases into positive ones.
The speaker owns a women's clothing store and gift shop with a vision of creating a comfortable, non-judgmental space for customers.
The store offers a personal shopping experience to make customers feel confident and comfortable.
Signs with positive messages are placed around the store to inspire and uplift customers.
A story is shared about helping an elderly customer feel beautiful and confident in a new outfit.
The customer's transformation from feeling self-conscious to feeling like a million bucks highlights the store's mission.
The speaker faced a period of depression and defeat, feeling numb and disconnected from the store's success.
In response to the challenges, the store was recreated, and the speaker had to change their thinking and reinvent themselves.
The speaker had to learn how to create a website and go online to adapt to the changing retail landscape.
Focus, determination, and productivity were key to the store's survival and the speaker's personal growth.
The store successfully transitioned to online sales and social media marketing, including personal and virtual shopping experiences.
The speaker had to overcome the fear of doing live videos in front of an audience to promote the business.
The speaker encourages the audience to reflect on their morning self-talk and recognize the power of positive thinking.
The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of staying committed and positive in the face of struggles and obstacles.
Transcripts
hello
everyone it is so
great to be here in front of a live
audience it feels so good doesn't it
thank you i want you
to take a moment and think about
how many times you talk to yourself
in one day
what was the first thing you said to
yourself this morning
before you opened your eyes
i want you to hold on to those words
i talk to myself about a hundred times a
day
and that's not exaggerating first thing
i said to myself this morning
breathe and then i said
and i realized what was happening
tonight
i said do not trip on stage
if some of you have seen my social media
videos you know exactly where i'm going
with this
i have tripped in front of a live
audience
i have knocked things over
my family can attest to that
and i have stumbled over my words
my words so think about this
our words we get stuck
using negative phrases negative words
all the time
we beat ourselves up
i know we've heard this before
i can't finish my homework there's not
enough time
i will never meet the right person
i'm always home
and then this one i have gained so much
weight
i do not fit into any of my clothes
we talk about ourselves to ourselves
all the time but it's when we
turn those negative phrases those
negative
comments into something more positive
i can finish my homework
i will meet someone
i am beautiful
it's hard it's very hard i'm not going
to lie to you
but it can be done i've had to do it
and when i say it has to become my
morning
my afternoon and my night
that's what gets me through the day
so yes i talk to myself a lot
i own a women's clothing store and gift
shop
my vision was to create a comfortable
space
where people would feel confident
walking through the door without any
judgment
we created this personal shopping
experience because that's what it's all
about
it's about the people walking through
the door
it's not about me
we have these signs all over the walls
so when you walk in you feel our
messages
take your place make your mark and live
your life
we all want to feel our best we want to
laugh
don't we we want to feel inspired
that's part of our self-care
this one she's in the fitting room be
the best version of you
this one beauty does come in all shapes
and sizes
you might get a laugh out of this one
you decide which one you are
and this next one here well this speaks
for itself
i want to tell you a story
there was a woman that walked into the
store
with this little boy she's walking
around
and i could hear her talking to herself
i can't wear this this will never fit
so i give her a moment and then i ask
her if there's something i can help her
with
she smiles and she looks at me and she
says darling everything is beautiful in
here
but i could never wear anything
i'm much too old i'm a grandmother
as she points to the little boy so i
laugh
and i say to her do you have a few
minutes
i said sure i said i'm going to put
something together for you
put it in the fitting room and then you
tell me
how you feel
so she she smiles i bring her over to
the fitting room
about two minutes pass and all of a
sudden
i'm at my desk she opens up those
curtains and she looks at me and she
says
i cannot believe that this fits
the face the smile
she said i can't tell you the last time
i put on a pair of denim i
smiled i looked at her and then her
little grandson was with her
sitting in the chair and i said but how
do you
feel she said
i feel like a million bucks
true story i replied back to her and i
said
that's what i wanted to hear
so we had a cute little laugh and i said
i'll meet you over by the desk
right so she comes over she's cashing
out
and as she's leaving
she turns and she looks at me as she's
walking out the door
said i want to thank you for making me
feel so good
about myself
i will see you next week
i smiled and i said thank you
one week later there we were
coveted
i didn't want to get out of bed i didn't
even want to open my eyes
i was depressed
completely defeated
everything i had worked we had worked so
hard for
was falling to pieces
i was numb
there's no other words but num
all those signs that i hand
picked for the boutique
meant nothing they disappeared
as if they didn't even exist
that's when we knew we had
to recreate the store
i knew i had to change my way of
thinking
i had stopped all of the negative
comments all of the negative head
chatter
i had to reinvent myself
talk about a deep conversation
we did it we went online
at that time everything was shop from
home
because that's what everyone was doing
you're on your phones you're on your
computer
i figured it out i had to create a
website
knew nothing about websites
but i had to do it i had to become
focused i had to become determined
and i had to become productive every
single day
we went online social media the facebook
i mean
everyone was shopping from home
instagram personal shopping
virtual shopping who would have thought
we had to do it i knew
it was the survival of our business
that if we didn't think if i didn't
think
of something better
i wouldn't have been able to reopen our
door
i had to do these live videos in front
of a live
audience do you know how hard that is
but it feels good
i want you to go back to those words
that you said to yourself this morning
before you opened your eyes
some of you well maybe you'll laugh at
what you said
others may have realized that
something has changed
the struggles that we face
the obstacles that are thrown
in front of us the unthinkable
situations they make us tired
very tired but i know
i know it's an opportunity
to make us stronger
and it makes us stronger and better as
long as we stay committed
and positive
i can i will
end of story thank you
you
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