What IS Sex Positivity?

Summary

In this video, sexuality educator Nadine Thornhill introduces the concept of sex positivity, contrasting it with sex negativity. She explains that sex negativity views sex as inherently dangerous and morally corrupting, while sex positivity encourages an inclusive, non-judgmental approach to sexual expression. Thornhill emphasizes that there is no 'normal' when it comes to sex, focusing instead on individual well-being and personal comfort. Drawing from her experiences as a sexuality educator, she challenges restrictive cultural norms and promotes understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual identities and practices.

Takeaways

• 😀 Sex positivity is a philosophy or framework for understanding and approaching sex and sexuality in a healthy, open way.
• 😀 The philosophy of sex negativity views sex and sexual expression as inherently bad, dangerous, or corrupting.
• 😀 Sex negativity often promotes restrictive ideals about what is considered 'acceptable' sexuality, focusing on specific types of sex (e.g., heterosexual, monogamous, married).
• 😀 In sex-negative cultures, people outside the 'ideal' sexual norms are often marginalized or stigmatized.
• 😀 Sex negativity contributes to discrimination, such as ageism, where certain age groups (children, elderly) are expected not to express sexual desires, while middle-aged adults are expected to engage in regular sex.
• 😀 Despite sexual expression being commodified in media and advertising, open discussions about actual sexual experiences and bodies are often taboo in sex-negative cultures.
• 😀 In cases of negative sexual outcomes (e.g., STI infections), the reaction is often judgmental, equating the individual’s sexuality with their 'punishment.'
• 😀 The speaker grew up with sex-negative messages, particularly during the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, which influenced their view on sexuality.
• 😀 The introduction of sex positivity in the speaker’s work, especially through their experience at Planned Parenthood, shifted their perspective on sexuality to a healthier and more inclusive approach.
• 😀 A key principle of sex positivity is that there is no 'normal' when it comes to sexuality; rather, it focuses on whether individuals are okay and happy with their sexuality, regardless of whether it conforms to societal standards.
• 😀 The speaker advocates for a personalized approach to sexuality, where each person’s unique needs and experiences are validated, rather than imposing a one-size-fits-all standard of 'normal' sexuality.

Q & A

What is sex positivity?

Sex positivity is a framework or philosophy that views sex and sexuality as natural, diverse, and positive aspects of human experience. It emphasizes personal choice, consent, and the idea that everyone should be free to express their sexuality in a way that feels right for them, without shame or judgment.

How does sex positivity differ from sex negativity?

Sex negativity views sex and sexuality as inherently dangerous or corrupting, often promoting restrictive ideas about what types of sex are acceptable. It emphasizes protecting people from the supposed dangers of sex. In contrast, sex positivity encourages open, non-judgmental exploration of sexuality and stresses the importance of consent, safety, and personal choice.

What are some characteristics of a sex-negative culture?

A sex-negative culture tends to idealize certain types of sex, often heterosexual, monogamous, and within a marriage, while stigmatizing expressions of sexuality that don't conform to this ideal. It also involves ageism, where certain groups (like the elderly, children, or teenagers) are not expected to have sexual feelings or expressions, and it can perpetuate a culture of shame around sexual health issues like STIs.

What does Nadine Thornhill mean by 'normal' in terms of sexuality?

Nadine does not believe in a single, universal 'normal' when it comes to sexuality. In sex-positive education, the focus is not on conforming to a specific standard but on ensuring that individuals feel comfortable, safe, and happy with their own sexual expression. The key is whether a person feels 'okay' with their sexuality, not whether they conform to a predefined norm.

What is the main goal of sex-positive education?

The main goal of sex-positive education is to help individuals understand and embrace their own sexual identities without shame, guilt, or fear of judgment. It promotes open communication, consent, and respect for diverse sexual expressions. It's about empowering people to make informed, confident decisions regarding their sexuality.

How does sex positivity impact people's views on sexual health?

Sex positivity encourages a non-judgmental and open approach to sexual health. It removes the stigma around issues like STIs and promotes understanding, prevention, and care. Instead of blaming individuals for health issues, sex-positive culture focuses on providing accurate information and fostering responsible sexual behaviors without shame.

What role does consent play in sex-positive philosophy?

Consent is a cornerstone of sex-positive philosophy. It emphasizes that all sexual activity should be mutually agreed upon by all parties involved. Consent is not just about saying 'yes' or 'no,' but about ongoing communication and respect for personal boundaries.

Why does Nadine use food analogies when discussing sex positivity?

Nadine uses food analogies because they are an effective way to simplify complex ideas. Food, like sex, can be experienced in a variety of ways, and there’s no single 'correct' way to enjoy it. These analogies help illustrate the diversity of sexual expression and highlight the importance of personal preference and comfort.

What is the problem with the concept of 'normal' in sex-negative cultures?

In sex-negative cultures, the concept of 'normal' is often restrictive and unrealistic. It suggests that there is one 'right' way to experience sexuality, which can cause individuals to feel inadequate or ashamed if their experiences don't align with these narrow standards. Sex positivity challenges this by embracing diversity and accepting that everyone's sexual experiences are unique.

How did Nadine Thornhill’s understanding of sex change after learning about sex positivity?

Nadine’s understanding of sex changed when she was introduced to sex positivity at Planned Parenthood. Initially, she thought it was about having more sex or considering all sex as inherently good. However, after reading an article by sex educator Charlie Glickman, she realized that sex positivity is about being accepting of diverse sexual experiences and focusing on personal comfort and well-being, rather than conforming to societal expectations.