The Science Of Why You're So Awkward

Summary

This video humorously addresses social awkwardness and offers insights on how to handle it. It explains that awkwardness can stem from situations like poor handshakes, improper eye contact, or violating personal space. The video highlights that showing embarrassment can be beneficial, as it demonstrates social awareness. It also suggests ways to improve, like keeping an open posture, using appropriate eye contact, and respecting personal space. Ultimately, it encourages socially anxious people to face their fears through exposure and to focus on engaging with others rather than worrying about themselves.

Takeaways

• 🤔 Awkwardness is a common social issue, with physical and emotional discomfort activating the same part of the brain.
• 😬 Awkward moments, like failed handshakes, show awareness of social norms and are better than showing no reaction.
• 👐 Open body language, like keeping hands visible and palms up, helps reduce awkwardness.
• 👁 Eye contact is essential in conversation but can increase discomfort during awkward situations.
• 🙈 Avoid forcing eye contact when someone feels embarrassed, as it can intensify awkwardness.
• 📏 Respecting personal space is crucial; violating it increases discomfort and tension.
• 😅 Awkwardness is often a result of breaking social expectations, involving hands, eye contact, and personal space.
• 📊 Awkwardness can be somewhat measured using the autism spectrum, with most people scoring below 26 points.
• 😓 Social anxiety often leads to awkwardness, and the best remedy is exposure to social situations.
• 🦋 Focusing on the other person and showing genuine interest can help reduce nervousness and awkwardness in conversations.

Q & A

What does the video suggest about the relationship between physical pain and awkwardness?

The video states that physical pain and intense feelings of awkwardness activate the same part of the brain, indicating that they can feel similar. For example, stubbing your toe and experiencing an awkward social moment can cause similar levels of discomfort.

Why is it beneficial to openly display embarrassment in an awkward situation?

Displaying embarrassment shows that you understand smooth social interactions and recognize when they go wrong. It helps others see you as aware and trustworthy, unlike those who remain unresponsive in awkward moments.

What does the video suggest about hand gestures during social interactions?

The video recommends keeping your body open with gestures like having your palms up while speaking, which makes you appear comfortable. However, when listening, it’s advised not to wave your hands, as that may seem strange or threatening.

How does eye contact affect social interactions according to the video?

The video suggests maintaining around 80% eye contact and 20% eye wandering during conversations. However, it also warns that constant eye contact can be uncomfortable, especially if someone is already feeling embarrassed or awkward.

Why is respecting personal space important in social situations?

The video explains that when someone invades another's personal space, it makes the other person feel uncomfortable, as their nervous system reacts negatively. Keeping an appropriate distance is crucial for comfortable social interactions.

What is the theory mentioned in the video about measuring awkwardness?

The video mentions a theory by Dr. Toshio, who claims that awkwardness can be measured using the Autism Spectrum Inventory. He suggests that the average person scores around 16, while 26 points are needed for an autism diagnosis, indicating that most people experience a degree of awkwardness.

What role does social anxiety play in awkwardness according to the video?

The video discusses that social anxiety can make people feel awkward in social situations. Nervousness caused by social anxiety often leads to awkwardness because it disrupts their ability to engage smoothly with others.

What is the recommended treatment for social anxiety mentioned in the video?

The video references the National Library of Medicine, stating that exposure therapy is the most effective treatment for social anxiety. This involves gradually exposing oneself to social interactions to reduce fear and awkwardness over time.

What tip does the video give for overcoming social anxiety?

The video advises focusing less on oneself and more on the other person during conversations. By showing genuine interest in what the other person says and asking questions, people can become less self-conscious and more comfortable socially.

What is the main message of the video for those who feel awkward in social situations?

The main message is that feeling awkward is common, but it’s possible to reduce this feeling by practicing social interactions and focusing on others. Over time, people can become more confident and less awkward.