How To Stay Motivated & Break Bad Habits

Summary

This transcript emphasizes the critical role of habits in shaping one's life outcomes. It suggests that instead of focusing solely on goals, one should cultivate systems and habits that lead to desired results. The speaker illustrates how small, consistent habits can redefine one's identity and lead to long-term success. The narrative discourages the 'yo-yo effect' of goal achievement, advocating for an identity-based approach to habit formation. It also addresses the challenge of delayed gratification and offers strategies to make good habits rewarding, ultimately arguing for a shift from goal-oriented to identity-oriented thinking for sustainable personal growth.

Takeaways

• 🔄 **Habits Over Goals**: Focus on developing habits rather than solely on outcomes, as habits are the precursors to long-term success.
• 🎯 **Identity Shift**: True behavior change comes from an internal identity shift, not just a change in actions.
• 🏋️‍♂️ **Small Habits Matter**: Small, consistent habits can lead to significant life changes over time, even if they don't immediately transform your life.
• 🏃‍♂️ **Becoming the Role**: The real goal isn't to achieve a specific outcome like running a marathon, but to become the type of person who consistently engages in the activity.
• 🧘 **Habitual Identity**: Cultivating an identity around a habit can make it easier to maintain because it aligns with your self-image.
• 🚫 **Avoid the Yo-Yo Effect**: Don't rely solely on goals for motivation; instead, build an ongoing system that sustains your habits even after a goal is achieved.
• 🌱 **Habit Formation**: Habits reinforce a particular identity, and changing those habits can change your self-perception and life direction.
• 💡 **Delayed Gratification**: Learning to find joy in delaying gratification is crucial for developing good habits that lead to long-term rewards.
• 🗓 **Long-Term Focus**: Embrace the long-term nature of habit formation and personal growth, understanding that significant change is a gradual process.
• 🎉 **Immediate Gratification Tactics**: Use tactics like the marble jar technique to introduce immediate rewards and maintain motivation while working on long-term habit changes.

Q & A

What is considered a lagging measure of our life outcomes according to the transcript?

A lagging measure of our life outcomes are things like bank accounts, test scores, or the number on a scale, which are the results of our habits.

Why is focusing on the system rather than the goal recommended in the transcript?

Focusing on the system rather than the goal is recommended because it's the habits that lead to outcomes, and the system supports the development of those habits over time.

How does the transcript suggest changing one's room cleanliness relates to changing one's habits?

The transcript suggests that simply cleaning a messy room once does not lead to lasting change; instead, adopting better cleaning habits will result in a consistently clean room.

What is the significance of adopting a new identity in the context of habit formation as discussed in the transcript?

Adopting a new identity is significant because it aligns one's actions with their desired self-image, making it easier to maintain habits that reflect that identity without constant motivation.

How does the transcript explain the concept of 'casting a vote' for the type of person one wants to become?

The transcript explains that every small habit or action is like casting a vote for the type of person one wants to become, as it reinforces the identity and habits associated with that desired self-image.

What is the difference between goal-oriented and identity-oriented behavior change as described in the transcript?

Goal-oriented behavior change is focused on achieving a specific outcome, while identity-oriented behavior change is about becoming the type of person who naturally embodies the desired habits or behaviors.

Why does the transcript mention the 'yo-yo effect' in relation to habit formation?

The 'yo-yo effect' is mentioned to illustrate how focusing solely on goals can lead to inconsistent behavior, where habits are only maintained temporarily until the goal is achieved, after which they may be abandoned.

How does the transcript suggest one can feel gratified while working on developing good habits?

The transcript suggests that one can feel gratified by introducing elements of immediate gratification, such as a reward system using marbles, which provides a sense of surprise and delight during the habit-forming process.

What is the role of delayed gratification in habit formation as discussed in the transcript?

Delayed gratification plays a crucial role in habit formation because good habits often require short-term sacrifices for long-term benefits, which can be challenging due to our natural bias towards immediate rewards.

How does the transcript address the misalignment of rewards in the context of good and bad habits?

The transcript addresses the misalignment of rewards by pointing out that bad habits often provide immediate rewards, while good habits may not show immediate benefits, leading to a challenge in maintaining good habits over bad ones.

Outlines

00:00

🌱 The Power of Habits Over Goals

The paragraph emphasizes that outcomes in life are often a reflection of one's habits rather than the goals achieved. It suggests shifting focus from the end goal to the system or process that leads to the outcomes. The speaker uses the analogy of a messy room to illustrate that achieving a clean room is temporary unless the habits causing the mess are changed. Similarly, for long-term results like weight loss or financial stability, it's essential to adopt better habits rather than focusing on the immediate goal. The concept of identity change is introduced, where adopting a new identity, such as becoming a runner or a writer, leads to consistent behavior aligned with that identity. The paragraph concludes by stating that true behavior change is essentially an identity change, making it easier to maintain new habits as they become a natural part of who you are.

05:01

🕰 The Time Value of Habits

This paragraph discusses the temporal aspect of habits, highlighting that the cost of good habits is immediate while the cost of bad habits is future-oriented. It points out the difficulty in changing habits due to our natural bias towards immediate gratification. The speaker introduces the idea that the ultimate form of intrinsic gratification comes from reaffirming one's desired identity through consistent habit formation. The paragraph also touches on the concept of 'territory' in habit formation, suggesting that frequent engagement in an activity can make it feel like a natural part of one's identity. A practical tactic involving a 'marble jar' is introduced to provide immediate gratification and motivation while working on forming new habits. The paragraph concludes by acknowledging the evolutionary bias towards prioritizing the present but notes the importance of delayed gratification in modern society.

10:01

🍩 The Immediate vs. Ultimate Rewards of Habits

The final paragraph contrasts the immediate and ultimate rewards associated with good and bad habits. It explains that bad habits often provide an immediate reward that feels good, such as the taste of a doughnut, but lead to unfavorable long-term outcomes. Conversely, good habits like exercising may not feel rewarding in the short term due to discomfort or lack of visible progress, but they yield positive long-term benefits. The paragraph reinforces the idea that the challenge with habit formation lies in the misalignment of immediate and ultimate rewards, where the immediate rewards of good habits are often less appealing than those of bad habits. It concludes by emphasizing the importance of recognizing this misalignment and working towards aligning one's habits with long-term goals and rewards.

Keywords

💡Lagging Measure

A lagging measure refers to an indicator that shows the results or consequences of past actions or behaviors. In the context of the video, it suggests that outcomes in life, such as financial status or weight, are often the result of habits that have been developed over time. The script emphasizes that instead of focusing solely on the outcomes, one should concentrate on improving the habits that lead to those outcomes.

💡Habits

Habits are regular practices or behaviors that have become automatic. The video script argues that changing one's habits is more fundamental than setting and achieving goals because habits are the precursors to the results one sees in life. For example, the script mentions that to maintain a clean room, one needs to adopt better cleaning habits rather than just focusing on the one-time task of cleaning.

💡System

In the video, 'system' refers to the set of processes or routines that one follows regularly. The speaker suggests making the system, or the habits, the default behavior, rather than being solely goal-oriented. This approach ensures that progress is consistent and sustainable, as opposed to the temporary nature of goal achievement.

💡Identity

Identity, in this context, refers to the self-image or the way one perceives oneself. The video emphasizes that true behavior change comes from changing one's identity. For instance, the goal is not just to run a marathon but to become a runner, which is a shift in self-identity that leads to consistent behavior aligned with that identity.

💡Process

Process in the video refers to the series of actions or steps taken to achieve a goal or outcome. The speaker argues that focusing on the process behind the results is more important than the results themselves. This is because the process involves the habits that, when changed, lead to lasting transformation.

💡Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is the act of postponing immediate rewards in favor of long-term benefits. The script discusses how finding joy in delaying gratification is crucial for developing good habits. It contrasts this with the immediate but short-lived pleasure of bad habits, such as eating junk food.

💡Behavior Change

Behavior change, as discussed in the video, involves modifying one's actions or habits. The speaker suggests that behavior change is not just about adopting new actions but also about changing one's identity, which then naturally leads to the desired behavior.

💡Goalless Thinking

Goalless thinking is presented in the video as an approach to long-term thinking that focuses on becoming a certain type of person rather than achieving specific goals. This mindset emphasizes the development of identity and habits over the pursuit of immediate objectives.

💡Reinforcement

Reinforcement, in the context of the video, is the process by which habits strengthen a particular identity. Each time a habit is practiced, it reinforces the identity associated with that habit. For example, consistent exercise reinforces the identity of a runner.

💡Immediate vs. Ultimate Reward

The script distinguishes between immediate and ultimate rewards associated with habits. Immediate rewards are the short-term benefits or pleasures gained from a habit, while ultimate rewards are the long-term outcomes. The video argues that good habits often have less appealing immediate rewards but more favorable ultimate rewards.

💡Intrinsic Gratification

Intrinsic gratification is the sense of satisfaction that comes from aligning one's actions with one's desired identity. The video suggests that when one's actions match their identity, they experience a deep sense of fulfillment that reinforces their habits and behaviors.

Highlights

Life outcomes are often a result of habits rather than isolated actions.

Focusing on changing the system of habits can lead to better outcomes than solely focusing on goals.

Achieving a goal is temporary; adopting a process-oriented mindset leads to lasting change.

To maintain a clean room, focus on developing cleaning habits rather than occasional cleaning sessions.

For long-term weight management, aim to establish better eating habits instead of short-term diets.

Financial stability comes from consistent financial habits rather than sporadic efforts to earn more money.

Small habits, like doing one pushup, cast a vote for the identity of a person who doesn't skip workouts.

The real goal is not to achieve a specific task but to become the type of person who consistently performs that task.

Identity change is the key to true behavior change, as it aligns actions with one's self-image.

The 'yo-yo effect' occurs when motivation is tied to goals rather than identity, leading to cycles of starting and stopping.

Long-term thinking involves 'goalless thinking,' focusing on being a certain type of person and following a system.

Habits reinforce an identity, which can be either positive or negative depending on the actions taken.

Every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become, shaping your identity.

Good habits become easier when you learn to find joy in delaying gratification.

Life, relationships, and career fulfillment are journeys that require patience and consistent effort.

The cost of good habits is immediate, while the cost of bad habits is realized in the future.

Intrinsic gratification comes from reaffirming your desired identity through consistent actions.

Developing a sense of territory or belonging in an activity can reinforce identity and habit formation.

Introducing elements of surprise and reward can help maintain motivation while working on long-term habits.

Our brains are wired to prioritize immediate rewards, which can conflict with the need for delayed gratification in modern society.

Bad habits often have immediate rewards, while good habits offer long-term benefits.

Transcripts

Your outcomes in life are often a lagging measure of your habits.

We think the thing that needs to change

is the bank account or the test score or the number on the scale

but actually the thing that needs to change

are the habits that precede those outcomes.

Rather than making the goal the default,

the thing that you focus on almost exclusively

let's make the system the default

and then only check in on the goal occasionally

to see if we're moving in the right direction.

Achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment

it's actually not the thing that you're looking for.

We think the results are the thing that needs to change

but it's actually the process behind the results.

Like if you have a messy room, let's say your bedroom is mess

and you set a goal to clean that room

you can get motivated and do it for two or three hours

and then you turn around you have a clean room for now.

If you don't change the messy habits that led to a dirty room in the first place

then you turn around two weeks later and you have a messy room again.

And so actually you don't need a clean room you need better cleaning habits

and then your room will always be clean.

You don't need to lose weight you need better eating habits

and then your weight will always be around where you want it to be.

You don't need more money you just need better financial habits

and then you'll always have enough money to manage the thing that comes up.

And umm...

I think that's one of the reasons why small habits matter so much

they don't necessarily transform your life overnight,

right, right away, like doing one pushup does not transform your body

but it does cast a vote for being the type of person who doesn't miss workouts.

Or meditating for one minute

might not give you an immediate sense of calm in your life

but it does cast a vote for being a meditator.

The real goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.

The goal is not to write a book, the goal is to become a writer.

Because once you have adopted that identity

you're really not even pursuing behavior change anymore

you're just kind of acting in alignment

with the type of person you already see yourself to be.

It's kind of like true behavior change is really identity change

because once you've changed that internal story

it's way easier to show up each day,

you're not even really motivating yourself that much to do it

you're just like this is who I am now.

There's sort of this like yo-yo effect

you know, like someone trains for a half marathon and then they run the race

and that race motivated them to train for the last three or four months.

And then the race ends and they stop and take a week off

than a week turns into two weeks than two months and so on

and then they turn around like four months later like,

man, I haven't ran in months like I need to sign up for a new race or something.

Because if it's all about the goal

as soon as the goal is achieved you don't have that motivating you anymore.

But if instead it's about being a runner

then even once, even once you finish the race

you still have a reason to show up again the next week

because you're like, well, I just, that's what I do is I run,

- that's who I am. - Right?

And so I think that that's a more...

in pretty much any domain

true long-term thinking is really goalless thinking.

It's much more about

being that person, developing that identity, following that system

and then you just happen to realize your potential along the way.

So what you come to realize

is that your habits reinforce a particular identity

and sometimes this can be positive and sometimes it can be negative

the story could be things like,

I'm bad at math or I'm terrible at remembering people's names

or I'm not good at remembering directions.

And all of those stories... that's just an internal story that you tell yourself

but each time you have an experience that reinforces that

the story gets solidified.

And so I think the method, the- the takeaway here

is that every action you take

is kind of like a vote for the type of person that you want to become.

And if you can master the right actions, if you can master the right habits

then you can start to cast votes for this new identity

this desired person that you want to be.

Good habits become easy habits

when you can learn to find joy in delaying gratification.

There's no rush

build for the long term guys.

It's as if they're standing at the foot of a mountain, they can see the summit

they can see the thing they want, I want to make an impact

what they don't see is the mountain.

This large immovable object

you can go up fast, you can go up slow I don't care

but there's still a mountain.

What they don't understand is that life,

that relationships and career fulfillment

are a journey.

There's no app for that.

I got nothing

you've got to go through the slow plotting, annoying, meandering process

called career and life.

Everything in my life, when something got hard, I quit.

I wasn't great at reading, I wasn't great at writing so I just quit.

I couldn't catch on as fast as you,

I had to work harder than you, so I quit.

Like man, if I could just go that distance, that extra mile

to just go, ju- just to finish

I want to feel victory and victory for me wasn't winning, it was just finishing.

This is one of the things that's challenging about building better habits

is that they're very easy to dismiss on any given day

right like what is the difference between

eating a burger and fries for lunch or eating a salad

not a whole lot on any given day

your body looks basically the same in the mirror, the scale hasn't really changed.

It's really easy to dismiss it in your mind and say, "Oh, this is kind of insignificant"

but you know you turn around 2 or 5 or 10 years later

and you realize, "Oh, wow, those daily choices really did add up."

It's just much harder to see on a granular basis.

The cost of your good habits is in the present

and the cost of your bad habits is in the future.

And the fact that we prioritize the present over the future

ends up making a lot of habit change difficult for that reason.

The ultimate form of intrinsic gratification

is a reaffirmation of your desired identity.

So if you...

if your desired identity is

I'm the type of person who doesn't miss workouts or I'm an athlete.

Every time you're doing a squat literally, you can be in the middle of the rep

and you're already getting gratified

because you're acting in alignment with the type of person you want to be.

It's like, "Oh, I just did that rep, I didn't miss this workout,

that feels good"

Umm, now, I do think it takes a little while to get to that point

where that actually feels like you.

You know, you can imagine somebody goes to the gym for the first week or the first month

they don't quite identify that way yet

because they haven't spent enough time there.

Steven Pressfield

I think it's in "The War of Art" he has a piece where he talks about a wolf

and how the wolf develops a territory right?

But the only way that it develops a territory

is by being there, by walking around the terrain every day

and then it starts to feel like this is mine, this is my home.

And he talks about writers doing that by like

you make the chair and the computer and the desk in your office

your territory, becomes your terrain.

And I think that that is true for most habits too

like when you walk into the gym for the first time you feel very uncertain

it's not your territory, you don't feel like it's your terrain.

But once you show up again for a week or month or year

at some point you cross this invisible threshold

where it starts to feel like, "Yeah, this is for me" or "I belong"

and that I think... once you've crossed that stage

it becomes more likely that you can get that kind of reaffirmation of your identity

and start to instantly feel gratified.

But there are other things that you can do in the short term

to feel more gratified while you're working on those habits.

So here's just one little tactic,

let's say that you're either

trying to work out or build a habit of meditating or something

and so each time you do your habit of meditating for five minutes

you have this little jar of marbles and you've got like 100 marbles in there

and 90 are red and 10 are blue

and after each instance of your habit

you walk over and you pull a marble out of the jar.

And if you pull out one of the 90 then nothing happens

it's just like a pat on the back, good job you did what you're supposed to.

But if you pull out one of the 10

then you get some kind of reward, that's exciting to you

maybe you get to watch Netflix for an hour and not feel guilty

or go for a walk outside or take a bubble bath

or buy yourself a new jacket, whatever it is,

like something that that feels rewarding.

And what you just did was you introduce an element of immediate gratification

and of like surprise and delight to the whole process.

And so...

yeah, that first week when you're meditating

you still might not identify as a meditator

or you still might not have a sense of calm watch over your life

but you have this other interesting thing that is rewarding right away

that maybe gets you to stick with it

while you're waiting for those long-term rewards to accumulate.

Well, so we do have and this definitely plays an important role in habits

we do have a bias toward the present

and that makes sense, right?

That example I gave about like finding a berry bush

you know, 100 meters away.

Well, you should in fact go get the food that's close by

and not the food that's on the other side of the mountain

because that just makes logical sense, you'd rather have it now

especially when we were not in modern society, right?

For 99.999% of human history

we're just trying to survive like every other animal.

And so, umm...

you should try, you should prioritize

immediate food, immediate shelter, immediate water, immediate safety.

And in fact our brains are wired to do that.

But modern society is a whole different ballgame

because we have all these things

that actually you should prioritize delayed outcomes.

So you go to college now and then you graduate in four years.

You save for retirement today and then you retire decades from now.

You show up at work this week and then you get a paycheck in a month.

And so, it's actually like there are all kinds of things we do in modern society

that require you to delay gratification

and that runs a little counter

to what our wiring is or what our pref- biological preference is.

There's a sort of an a misalignment of rewards

that often happens with habits.

So there's an immediate outcome, an immediate reward

and then an ultimate reward.

And for your bad habits,

one reason bad habits stick so readily that they they form so easily

is because bad habits often the immediate reward is favourable. Right?

Like what's the immediate reward of eating a doughnut

it's kind of great. It's sweet, it's sugary, it tastes good.

It's only the ultimate reward

if you repeat that habit for 6 months or a year or two years

that is unfavorable.

Meanwhile, good habits are often the exact opposite

the immediate reward of going to the gym or going to the gym for like a week

isn't really that great your body's probably sore.

You don't have much to show for it, your body looks the same,

the weight hasn't really changed

but if you stick to that for 6 months or a year or two years

then the ultimate reward is favorable.