My year of saying yes to everything | Shonda Rhimes

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares how saying 'yes' to things that scared her changed her life, notably by committing to play with her children. Through this journey, she discovers that relentless work, which once defined her, was overshadowing what truly mattered—love, joy, and human connection. By embracing play and balance, she rekindles her passion for life and creativity, learning that success is not just about being a titan, but also about embracing moments of simplicity, presence, and happiness. She invites others to prioritize joy and rediscover life's hum.

Takeaways

• 😊 Saying 'yes' to things that scare you can lead to personal growth and the elimination of fears.
• 👶 One of the most impactful 'yeses' came from saying yes to her toddler, which led to more play and quality family time.
• 🏢 Despite having a dream job and being highly successful, she realized work was consuming her life, leading to burnout.
• 🎵 The 'hum' represents the rush and excitement she feels when deeply immersed in her work, but it eventually faded due to overwork.
• 💖 Rediscovering the joy of playing with her children reignited a different kind of 'hum,' one tied to love and joy rather than work.
• 🌟 She emphasizes that the real hum isn't tied to professional success but to happiness, peace, and love.
• 🎬 Balancing play and work led to a resurgence in creativity, allowing her to enjoy both work and family life again.
• ⏳ Even 15 minutes of uninterrupted play with her kids was enough to strengthen their relationship and bring joy.
• 🧠 The hum of life is more fulfilling than the hum of work, and she learned to prioritize moments of joy and connection.
• 💪 Saying yes to less work and more play helped her achieve balance and happiness, proving that even as a 'titan,' life is more than work.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial experiment for a year?

The speaker's initial experiment involved saying 'yes' to all the things that scared her, including public speaking, live TV appearances, and acting, to overcome her fears.

How did the speaker's fear change as a result of her experiment?

The speaker found that the act of doing the things that scared her undid the fear, making it not scary anymore, which resulted in the disappearance of her fear of public speaking and social anxiety.

What significant change did the speaker make in response to her toddler's question?

The speaker made a vow to say 'yes' every time her children asked her to play, no matter what she was doing or where she was going, which led to a new way of life for her family.

How did the speaker describe her job and the impact of her work?

The speaker described her job as a 'dream job' where she creates and executive produces television shows, responsible for bringing about 70 hours of programming to the world, creating hundreds of jobs and having a global impact.

What is the 'hum' that the speaker refers to in her work?

The 'hum' is a metaphor for the intense feeling of creativity, productivity, and passion that the speaker experiences when deeply engaged in her work, which she describes as a rush, a buzz, and a driving force.

Why did the 'hum' stop for the speaker, and what did it signify?

The 'hum' stopped because the speaker became overworked, overused, and burned out, signifying a loss of joy and passion in her work despite her continued success and hard work.

What realization did the speaker have when her toddler asked to play?

The speaker realized that she was missing out on her children's lives and changes as she was too focused on her work and the 'hum', prompting her to reevaluate her priorities.

How did the speaker's perspective on work and play change after spending time with her children?

The speaker discovered that play and the joy of being with her children could also bring back the 'hum', but this time it was a more balanced and fulfilling 'hum' that included love and life's simple pleasures.

What advice does the speaker give to others regarding work and play?

The speaker advises others to find time for play and joy in their lives, suggesting that everyone should say 'yes' to play when their children ask, as it can lead to a more balanced and happier life.

How does the speaker conclude her journey of balancing work and play?

The speaker concludes that by saying 'yes' to less work and more play, she still runs her world effectively but with a greater sense of happiness, freedom, and a deeper understanding of who she is beyond her work.