Why We Won't Raise Our Kids in Suburbia

Summary

The video script contrasts the childhood experiences between car-centric London, Ontario, and Amsterdam, Netherlands, highlighting the latter's emphasis on children's independence and safety. It discusses the 'eyes on the street' effect, the dangers of North American car-dependent suburbs for pedestrians, and the cultural shift towards overprotective parenting. The speaker critiques the suburban model, advocating for walkable neighborhoods and less car-centric urban planning to foster children's autonomy and well-being.

Takeaways

• 🌍 The speaker grew up in London, Ontario, Canada, but moved to Amsterdam for a better environment to raise children.
• 🚴‍♂️ Dutch children are known for their independence, often cycling to school and engaging in outdoor activities.
• 🍫 A contributing factor to Dutch children's happiness is their freedom, including having treats like chocolate sprinkles for breakfast.
• 👀 The concept of 'eyes on the street' from Jane Jacobs' book suggests that people feel safer in areas with more pedestrian activity.
• 🏡 North American suburbs are designed for cars, leading to less safe and less inviting environments for pedestrians, including children.
• 🚗 The increase in car traffic and larger vehicles in Canada and the U.S. has made these countries more dangerous for pedestrians.
• 🔄 The reliance on cars for children's transportation creates a vicious cycle of increased traffic and reduced safety for walking.
• 🏘️ Suburban design in North America is car-dependent, making it difficult for children to travel independently.
• 🚲 In contrast, 60% of Dutch children walk or cycle to school, fostering independence and physical activity.
• 🌐 The speaker argues that North American cities and suburbs need to change their design to be more child-friendly and walkable.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The cultural shift towards car dependency and strict supervision laws in North America limits children's independence and contributes to a less active lifestyle.

Q & A

Why did the speaker move from London, Ontario to Amsterdam?

The speaker moved to Amsterdam because they wanted to raise their children in an environment that fosters independence and safety, unlike the car-infested city they grew up in.

What is the significance of 'eyes on the street' in the context of the script?

In the script, 'eyes on the street' refers to Jane Jacobs' concept that people feel safer in places with a lot of other people around, which contrasts with North American-style suburbs that feel desolate and unsafe for pedestrians.

Why do parents in suburban Canada feel it's unsafe for their children to be out on their own?

Parents in suburban Canada feel it's unsafe due to the car-dependent design of their neighborhoods, fear of stranger abductions despite low actual risks, and a cultural shift influenced by fearmongering media.

How does the script describe the difference in pedestrian safety between the Netherlands and North America?

The script indicates that while overall traffic fatalities have fallen in developed nations, pedestrian deaths have increased in the US and Canada due to factors like car traffic, larger vehicles, distracted driving, and higher vehicle speeds.

What is the role of car dependency in limiting children's independence in North American suburbs?

Car dependency in North American suburbs makes it nearly impossible for children to go anywhere without a car, as distances are too great and infrastructure like sidewalks is lacking, thus limiting their independence.

Why does the speaker argue that suburbs are not conducive to raising children past a certain age?

The speaker argues that suburbs are not conducive to raising children past about 6 years old because they inhibit growth and independence by trapping children in a car-dependent environment with limited opportunities for walking or cycling.

What percentage of children in the Netherlands walk or cycle to school, and how does this compare to Canada?

In the Netherlands, 60% of children walk or cycle to school, compared to 28% in Canada, highlighting a significant difference in the level of independence and active transportation for children.

How does the script challenge the North American stereotype of the 'soccer mom'?

The script challenges the stereotype by pointing out that in the Netherlands, it's common for children to travel independently to various activities, whereas in North America, children are often driven around by their parents until they are old enough to drive themselves.

What is the impact of car-centric suburban design on children's exercise habits, according to the script?

The script suggests that car-centric suburban design leads to a lack of exercise for children, as it discourages outdoor activity and independent mobility, resulting in a more sedentary lifestyle.

Why did the speaker and their family decide to move to the Netherlands?

The speaker and their family decided to move to the Netherlands because it is a country known for having the happiest kids in the world, with a lifestyle that promotes independence and a safer environment for children to walk and cycle.

What is the significance of the Adrian Crook case mentioned in the script?

The Adrian Crook case is significant because it illustrates the extreme measures parents in Canada may face for allowing their children a level of independence that is considered normal in the Netherlands, highlighting the cultural and legal differences in child-rearing practices.

Outlines

00:00

🌍 Cultural Shift: From Car-Centric Suburbs to Child-Friendly Cities

The speaker contrasts their childhood in London, Ontario, with their adult life in Amsterdam, noting the stark difference in children's independence. In Amsterdam, children are seen cycling to school and playing freely, a testament to the Dutch reputation for raising happy kids. This is partly attributed to the Netherlands' child-friendly urban planning, which promotes safety and independence. The speaker laments the lack of such freedom in their Canadian hometown, where fear for children's safety keeps them indoors. The narrative points to urban design as a key factor influencing this cultural shift, with references to Jane Jacobs' 'eyes on the street' concept and the impact of car-centric suburbs on pedestrian safety.

05:01

🚲 The Decline of Independent Commuting: A North American Dilemma

This paragraph discusses the decline in children walking or cycling to school in North America, particularly in Canada, despite no significant changes in weather or terrain that would justify this trend. The speaker refutes common excuses like weather and hills, arguing that the real issue lies in urban planning that favors cars over pedestrians. The Netherlands is held up as a model, where children of all ages are seen cycling long distances to school, even in non-urban areas. The contrast is used to highlight the lack of walkable, child-friendly neighborhoods in North America, which has led to a culture where children are chauffeured to every activity, limiting their physical activity and independence.

10:01

🏡 Rethinking Urban Design for Child Independence

The final paragraph addresses the challenges of changing the car-dependent suburban culture in North America to one that supports child independence and safety. The speaker acknowledges the difficulty of retrofitting walkability into existing suburbs and the high cost of the few remaining walkable neighborhoods. They criticize zoning regulations that prevent the construction of new walkable areas and the pervasive belief that cars and suburbs are necessary for families. The Netherlands is again used as a positive example, where new neighborhoods are designed to be walkable and even car-free, allowing children the freedom to play and travel independently. The speaker shares their personal decision to move to the Netherlands for their children's well-being and concludes with a call to action for supporters to help advocate for change.

Keywords

💡Car-infested

The term 'car-infested' is used metaphorically in the video to describe a city environment that is heavily dominated by cars, implying a lack of pedestrian-friendly infrastructure and a high volume of vehicular traffic. This term is used to contrast the speaker's childhood city of London, Ontario, with their current home in Amsterdam, where a different urban planning approach has resulted in a more child-friendly environment. The video suggests that car-infested cities can limit children's independence and outdoor activities.

💡Happiest kids in the world

This phrase refers to the Dutch children, who are often cited as being among the happiest in the world according to various studies and surveys. The video attributes this happiness to a combination of factors, including the Dutch culture's allowance for children to have a high level of independence and the availability of simple pleasures like chocolate sprinkles for breakfast. The concept is central to the video's theme of comparing child-rearing environments and the impact of urban planning on children's well-being.

💡Independence

Independence in the context of the video refers to the autonomy and freedom children have to navigate their environment without constant adult supervision. The video highlights how Dutch children are allowed to cycle to school, play with friends, and engage in various activities on their own, which is seen as a contributing factor to their happiness and well-being. This contrasts with the more restrictive environments in North America, where children are often not allowed to be out without adult accompaniment, thus limiting their independence.

💡Eyes on the street

The concept of 'eyes on the street' is a principle from Jane Jacobs' influential book 'The Death and Life of Great American Cities.' It suggests that a neighborhood's safety and vibrancy are enhanced by the presence of people who can observe the street, thus creating a sense of community and reducing the chances of crime. The video uses this term to contrast the safer, more active streets of Amsterdam with the desolate, car-dependent suburbs of North America, where pedestrians are few and far between.

💡Pedestrian deaths

The video discusses 'pedestrian deaths' as a significant safety concern in car-centric cities like those in North America. It points out that while overall traffic fatalities have decreased, the number of pedestrian deaths has increased due to factors such as increased car traffic, larger vehicles, distracted driving, and higher vehicle speeds. This statistic is used to argue for the need to re-evaluate urban planning to prioritize pedestrian safety, especially for children.

💡Car-dependent suburbia

Car-dependent suburbia refers to suburban areas designed primarily for automobile use, where walking or cycling is impractical or unsafe. The video argues that such areas are not conducive to children's independence and well-being because they lack the necessary infrastructure, such as sidewalks and safe crossing points, to allow for safe pedestrian travel. This term is used to critique the suburban sprawl common in North America and to advocate for more walkable, child-friendly neighborhoods.

💡Walkability

Walkability is the ease and safety with which people can walk in a given area, often determined by the presence of sidewalks, crosswalks, and pedestrian-friendly street design. The video emphasizes the importance of walkability for children's independence and health, contrasting the walkable neighborhoods of the Netherlands with the car-dependent suburbs of North America. Walkability is presented as a key factor in creating environments where children can safely navigate on their own.

💡Suburbanization

Suburbanization is the process of spreading urban development into suburban areas, often characterized by single-family homes, car dependency, and a lack of mixed-use spaces. The video discusses how decades of suburbanization in North America have led to a cultural shift where children's independence is limited, and where the car has become an essential part of family life, even though it may not be the best solution for children's well-being.

💡McMansion

A McMansion is a term used to describe large, mass-produced houses that are often found in suburban areas. The video uses the term 'McMansion' to symbolize the type of housing that is prevalent in car-dependent suburbs, where children are often confined and lack the freedom to explore and engage in outdoor activities. The McMansion is presented as part of the suburban environment that limits children's independence.

💡Adequate supervision

The term 'adequate supervision' is used in the context of legal requirements for child safety and well-being. The video discusses how the definition of what constitutes adequate supervision has become stricter and more arbitrarily applied in North America, leading to situations where parents are investigated or even have their children removed for allowing their kids to engage in activities that are considered normal in other cultures, such as walking to school or playing in a backyard unsupervised.

Highlights

The speaker grew up in London, Ontario, and moved to Amsterdam for a better environment for their children.

The Netherlands is known for having the happiest children in the world, partly due to their independence.

Dutch children are often seen cycling to school and playing unsupervised, a rare sight in the speaker's Canadian hometown.

Canadian parents often cite safety concerns as a reason for not allowing their children out alone, despite low abduction rates.

Jane Jacobs' concept of 'eyes on the street' is mentioned as a factor contributing to safety and child independence.

North American suburbs are designed for cars, making them unsafe and uninviting for pedestrians, especially children.

Pedestrian deaths have increased in the US and Canada due to factors like car traffic, larger vehicles, and distracted driving.

Car-dependent suburbs make it impractical for children to walk or cycle to destinations.

In the Netherlands, 60% of children walk or cycle to school, compared to only 28% in Canada.

The speaker argues that suburbs are not conducive to raising independent children, as they lack walkability and services.

In Amsterdam, children as young as 9 and 6 are allowed to go to the park unsupervised, a concept foreign to North American culture.

The story of Adrian Crook, a father who had to fight the Canadian government to allow his children independence, is highlighted.

The speaker criticizes the North American belief that owning a car and living in suburbia is necessary for raising children.

The Netherlands is praised for its walkable, child-friendly neighborhoods, in contrast to car-centric North American suburbs.

The speaker and their family chose to move to the Netherlands for the sake of their children's well-being and independence.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to support the channel for more content on urban planning and child independence.

Transcripts

I grew up in a car-infested city called London.

London, Ontario, Canada.

But we don’t want to raise our kids

in an environment like this,

and we moved to Amsterdam instead.

So why is that?

One thing you immediately notice

when coming to the Netherlands is that

there are a lot of children around.

You’ll routinely see even

young children cycling to school,

playing with their friends, and just

hanging out in the city.

The Dutch are famous for having

the happiest kids in the world, and

a big part of that is the fact that they can

literally have chocolate sprinkles

for breakfast.

But the other big factor

is the level of independence that children have here.

I got used to seeing children everywhere,

so it was amazing to see the difference

the first time I returned to my hometown in Canada.

I drove around several residential neighborhoods, and

while I occasionally saw some kids in the park with their parents,

I never saw any children out on their own, and...

that’s really sad.

I’ve talked to some parents from suburban Canada

about why they don’t let their children out on their own,

and they usually say, "Because it’s too dangerous".

One person even said,

"Somebody could come along with a white van,"

"scoop them up, and nobody would even notice.”

Now, that’s insane,

because Canada is one of the safest countries in the world,

and abductions by strangers are exceedingly unlikely,

so...

why do people think this?

Well, there are various reasons for this cultural change,

including an increase in fearmongering media,

but this is an urban planning channel,

so we’re going to talk about the reasons linked to city design. because...

there are a lot of them.

In her famous book

The Death and Life of Great American Cities

Jane Jacobs refers to an effect she calls

“eyes on the street".

Essentially, it means that people feel safer

to be in places with many other people, like here,

in this suburb of Amsterdam.

By comparison,

North American-style car-dependent suburbia

is desolate for people outside of a car.

It’s depressing to walk there,

and I know, because I’ve done it a lot,

in the process of filming these videos.

I’m almost always the only one out walking,

and I definitely get the feeling that if something happened to me,

hundreds of people would drive by

without even noticing.

So it shouldn’t be too surprising

that some parents are uncomfortable having their children walk

in an environment like this.

Now, there’s another

“safety” reason that’s a bit more rational:

Canadian and American cities

are really dangerous for pedestrians.

While overall traffic fatalities in developed nations

have generally fallen steadily since the 1970s,

in the US and Canada,

a big part of this was achieved

by putting almost everyone

inside of a car.

But while people inside of cars may be safer,

pedestrian deaths have increased significantly in the past few decades,

due to:

an increase in car traffic,

larger trucks and SUVs,

distracted driving,

and higher vehicle speeds.

Ultimately,

these unsafe roads ead to a vicious circle:

parents are more likely to drive their children everywhere

because it’s not safe due to all the cars,

but in doing so, they’re adding one more car to the problem,

and making it even less safe.

I’d like to point out that this is a unique problem

caused only by cars.

I mean,

nobody ever kept their kids from walking to school

just because too many people took the tram.

But also, it’s impractical for children

to go anywhere on their own in a place like this.

Suburbia is car-dependent.

That means it’s almost impossible to get anywhere

without a car.

So even if you wanted your child to walk somewhere,

they simply... can’t.

It’s either too far,

or it's not feasible, because of a lack of sidewalks.

When I have discussions with

people from my suburban hellscape of a hometown,

they usually agree that the city is quiet

and soul-crushingly boring,

but they will inevitably say,

“But it’s a good place to raise children.”

I completely disagree.

Suburbia might be a good place to shelter toddlers,

but as soon as a child is more than about 6 years old,

being trapped in a McMansion on the edge of town

seriously inhibits their growth and independence.

They might be able to walk to a friend’s house,

if they’re lucky enough to live somewhere with a sidewalk.

But they’re unlikely to be able to walk to school,

or anywhere else for that matter.

In the Netherlands,

60% of children walk or cycle to school,

compared to 28% in Canada,

mostly those kids who live in the few remaining

walkable pre-war neighborhoods that would be illegal to build today

due to modern zoning.

But when I was a kid,

that number was 58% in Canada,

almost identical to the Netherlands today.

Look at these Canadian kids

walking to their rural school in the 1920s,

through the snow,

uphill both ways.

Yeah,

that never happens anymore.

This is the bicycle parking lot of a typical middle school in Amsterdam.

And this is the bicycle parking lot of an elementary school.

It is obvious here that

the majority of children arrive on their own bicycles.

I’m constantly hearing excuses from North Americans

as to why kids can walk or cycle to school in the Netherlands

but not in Canada,

and it’s usually some nonsense about the weather or the hills.

Do either of those things explain the massive drop in

the number of kids walking to school in Canada?

Did Canada’s weather get worse in the past 40 years?

Did the hills get higher?

No, of course not.

But we did stop building family-friendly housing

anywhere that wasn’t car-dependent.

Meanwhile, here in the Netherlands,

it’s not just kids in cities who cycle to school, it's...

everywhere.

BicycleDutch has several videos showing

dozens of children cycling long distances to school

in suburbs, towns, and villages.

And it’s more than just school, too.

Kids have lots of sports and other activities,

so in the Netherlands,

it’s very common to see children walking or cycling

while dressed in

football gear,

(not that kind of football)

or hockey gear,

(not that kind of hockey)

because they travel to all these activities by themselves.

In the US and Canada,

you have the stereotype of the suburban

'soccer mom',

the mother who spends all her time shuttling her kids around

from school to activities to playdates and back.

Because,

until a kid is about 16 years old

and has their own driver’s license,

they need to be driven around everywhere by their parents,

and...

this is considered

“normal”.

Is it any surprise that

kids in the U.S. and Canada don’t get enough exercise?

But I can’t blame them for wanting to stay inside

playing video games all day,

when

outside looks like this.

These problems originate in car-dependent suburbs,

but unfortunately,

decades of suburbanization have changed the overall culture,

where now many Canadians

don’t believe it’s safe for any children to be out on their own.

So even if you could afford to live in

one of the very few remaining walkable neighbourhoods,

you still can’t give your children the independence they deserve.

For example, here in Amsterdam,

we started allowing our children to go to the park without us

when they were 9 and 6 years old.

This is totally normal and accepted in the Netherlands.

If we let our children do this in Canada,

we would literally have someone call the police.

Or worse.

Now, you might think I’m exaggerating,

but there are stories about this happening

all over the U.S. and Canada,

and the one that angered me the most,

was the story of Adrian Crook.

Adrian is a father of 5 children,

and lives in downtown Vancouver, Canada.

He has always been a vocal advocate of allowing kids to have their independence,

and has written about how walkable urban city design

makes this easier and more practical.

As part of this effort,

Adrian and his kids would ride the bus to school every day.

He did this with them for two years,

but in 2017,

he started letting them do it on their own.

A short time later, he was anonymously reported

to the Ministry of Children and Family Development.

The whole story is available on his blog, that I’ll link to below,

but in the end,

the Ministry decided that children under the age of 10

could not be unsupervised

in or outside of the home,

for any amount of time,

and if Adrian let any of his children out unsupervised again,

even to go to the store across the street,

his children would be taken away from him.

Adrian literally had to spend 3 years of his life

suing the Ministry of Children and Family Development

just to allow his children

to have some independence.

And if you think that’s insane,

in Ontario, the province where I’m from,

children legally can not be on their own until they're 16,

unless, quote,

“adequate supervision”

is provided.

When I was a kid,

'adequate supervision' was, say,

having the phone number of a neighbor.

But the problem is,

what constitutes “adequate supervision” is becoming increasingly strict,

and arbitrarily applied.

This article has examples from all over Canada,

where child welfare investigations were started because,

for example,

a 9-year-old walked to school on her own,

or because a mother allowed her children to play in

the fenced backyard of their own house,

while she was watching them from inside.

Now, you might say that these

visits from police or social workers are just overreactions,

and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

But these social workers have the power to

literally take your children away from you.

You’re crazy if you don’t think this has a chilling effect

that ultimately limits the independence of children in North America.

Personally, I have absolutely no interest

in finding out the hard way what the

currently-accepted definition of “adequate supervision” may be,

when it comes to keeping custody of my children.

Unfortunately, the solutions to these problems are not easy,

because they involve changing

not just cultural issues,

but also the fundamental design of North American cities and suburbs.

Traditional mixed-use walkable neighbourhoods

have a multitude of benefits,

but walkability is nearly impossible to retrofit

on top of car-dependent suburbia.

And the last few remaining walkable places in the US and Canada

are in such high demand,

that they’re completely unaffordable to most people.

Of course,

we’re also not building any more walkable places like this in Canada,

because they’re illegal to build,

due to zoning and car-centric regulations,

like minimum parking requirements.

So what was built a hundred years ago is it.

We’re not getting any more.

And if you can’t afford it,

too bad.

There’s this insane myth in North America

that when you have kids, you need a car,

and you need to live in suburbia,

when the exact opposite is true.

What children really need is fewer cars,

because cars are dangerous,

especially for children.

Plus, news flash:

Kids can’t drive!

But they can walk or cycle, though

only if it’s safe.

Here in the Netherlands,

almost all new neighborhoods are walkable,

and some of them are even car-free.

Unsurprisingly, you see kids

travelling on their own and playing together in the streets.

So a few years ago,

my wife and I had to make a decision.

What kind of a life did we want for us and,

more importantly, for our children?

The solution

seemed pretty clear:

we moved to the country with the happiest kids in the world.

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