What Happened To My Husband..

Summary

In this heartfelt video, the creator shares her deeply personal journey of living with her husband Adam's severe and debilitating concussion, which has drastically changed their lives. She discusses their early life together, the challenges they've faced, including a miscarriage and her own health issues, and Adam's ongoing struggle with the effects of the concussion. The video is a raw and emotional account of love, resilience, and the harsh realities of living with a traumatic brain injury.

Takeaways

• 😢 The video creator discusses the immense difficulty of making this video due to the personal and ongoing nature of the subject matter.
• 💔 The creator shares that they are currently experiencing the hardest period of their life, which involves the health of someone very close to them.
• 🤔 The creator reflects on their decision to be authentic and open on the internet, despite the potential for vulnerability.
• 🏠 They mention their small but significant circle of friends and family, highlighting the importance of these relationships in their life.
• 😭 The creator reveals that they have been open about their life on the internet, which sometimes leads to awkward encounters in real life.
• 💔 The video deeply discusses the creator's relationship with Adam, her husband, whom she has been with since her teenage years.
• 🤕 Adam suffered a concussion in 2017, which led to a series of health issues that have significantly impacted his quality of life.
• 🏥 The couple has sought various treatments and seen multiple doctors, but Adam's condition has continued to worsen over time.
• 🏡 The creator talks about moving to a new home on a large piece of land to provide a healing environment for Adam and to give him more freedom.
• 😔 The video concludes with the creator expressing hope for Adam's improvement, despite the current bleak situation and the many uncertainties they face.

Q & A

What was the turning point in the narrator's life that led her to start sharing her life online?

The narrator decided to be her authentic self online, finding comfort in sharing intimate moments of her life because she doesn't have many friends in her daily life and feels a disconnect when people in real life ask her personal questions.

How did the narrator and Adam meet?

The narrator and Adam met after she mentioned to her friends about a psychic's prediction of her future husband being named Adam with blue eyes. A mutual friend introduced them, and they started dating.

What significant event happened in the narrator's life before she started dating Adam?

Before dating Adam, the narrator had to testify in court against a man who murdered a little girl in her town and stalked her, which led her to feel guilty and unworthy of love.

What health issue did the narrator face after her miscarriage?

After her miscarriage, the narrator developed Meniere's disease, which caused her to have severe vertigo, leading her to be bedridden and unable to work for two years.

What was the incident that led to Adam's health decline?

Adam's health decline began with a concussion he sustained after a piece of wood he was working with in the garden snapped back and hit him in the forehead.

How did Adam's concussion affect his daily life?

Adam's concussion led to a year of silence where he couldn't be around noise or light, and he had to stop working. His condition progressively worsened, leaving him with little to no quality of life and unable to do things he loved.

What is the current state of Adam's health according to the narrator?

Adam's current state is very poor; he is never comfortable, experiences pain, has limited mobility, and can't engage in activities he used to enjoy. His condition has also affected his mood and hope.

Why did the narrator decide to move to a new place?

The narrator decided to move to a new place that is 50 acres in size to give Adam space to be free and to provide a healing environment, as he had become very trapped in their previous house.

What is the narrator's attitude towards her situation with Adam?

Despite the challenges, the narrator remains hopeful and committed to Adam, considering him her best friend and expressing a deep desire to see him get better, even if it means giving up everything for one good year of normalcy.

What is the narrator's strategy for coping with the emotional toll of Adam's condition?

The narrator copes by continuing to create and share 'silly funny' content online, which serves as a therapeutic outlet and allows her to maintain a connection with her audience.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Struggles with Personal Vulnerability and Connection

The speaker begins by acknowledging the difficulty of sharing personal struggles, highlighting the challenge of creating this particular video. They reflect on their decision to be authentic on social media, despite the potential risks. The speaker discusses their limited social circle and the comfort they find in sharing their life with an online audience, even though it sometimes leads to awkward real-life encounters. They also delve into their past, including a traumatic event and their subsequent path of self-destructive behavior, before meeting their partner Adam, who has been a stabilizing force in their life.

05:01

💔 The Impact of a Concussion on a Loving Relationship

The narrative shifts to the speaker's marriage to Adam, emphasizing his kind and supportive nature. They recount their early married life, including a miscarriage and the speaker's battle with Meniere's disease. The paragraph details a turning point when Adam suffered a concussion, leading to a year of silence and isolation as he struggled with the aftermath. Despite medical interventions and the sale of the speaker's candle business to focus on Adam's health, his condition did not improve, and they faced a new reality of limitations and struggles.

10:02

😢 The Ongoing Battle with Chronic Illness and Its Emotional Toll

The speaker describes the gradual decline in Adam's health, where even minor activities could exacerbate his condition. They express the difficulty of maintaining a public persona while privately dealing with Adam's deteriorating quality of life. The emotional burden is palpable as the speaker talks about the strain on their relationship and the public's curiosity, which they find intrusive and emotionally taxing. The paragraph captures the essence of their struggle to balance their online presence with the need for privacy and the desire to protect Adam from further distress.

15:02

🏠 Seeking Solace and Healing in a New Home

The speaker shares their decision to move to a new home, a 50-acre property, in hopes of providing a healing environment for Adam. They express gratitude for the support of their brother, who helps with household tasks that Adam can no longer perform. The paragraph conveys a sense of hope and the desire for a better quality of life for Adam, despite the ongoing challenges. It also touches on the fear and uncertainty that permeate their lives, as they grapple with the unpredictability of Adam's health and the potential for further decline.

20:04

🌟 Gratitude for Support and Hope for the Future

In the final paragraph, the speaker expresses gratitude for the support they receive from their online community and friends. They acknowledge the difficulty of answering questions about Adam's condition and the emotional toll it takes. The speaker also mentions an upcoming trip to Utah for a specialized treatment program, which offers a glimmer of hope for improvement. The paragraph concludes with a heartfelt plea for understanding and a desire to continue sharing their life, despite the challenges they face.

25:05

🕊️ A Testament to Resilience and the Power of Love

The speaker reflects on the duration of their struggle, now spanning five years, and extends thanks to those who have supported them. They recognize the role that humor and their online content play in helping them cope with the hardships. The paragraph concludes with a call for healing and a reaffirmation of the speaker's commitment to their partner, despite the immense challenges they face together.

Keywords

💡Hard video

A 'hard video' in this context refers to a video that is emotionally challenging to create because it involves sharing personal and difficult experiences. The video's creator mentions that this particular video is one of the hardest she has made, indicating that the content is deeply personal and potentially traumatic. This sets a somber tone for the video, as the creator is preparing the audience for a serious and heartfelt discussion.

💡Meniere's disease

Meniere's disease is an inner ear disorder that can cause severe dizziness, vertigo, and hearing loss. In the script, the creator mentions that her pregnancy triggered Meniere's disease, which led to her being very sick and unable to work for an extended period. This keyword is significant as it illustrates a major health challenge faced by the creator, adding depth to her personal narrative and the struggles she has had to overcome.

💡Concussion

A concussion is a traumatic brain injury, typically caused by a blow to the head. The script describes how Adam, the creator's husband, suffered a concussion after hitting his head with a piece of wood. This incident is central to the video's theme as it led to a series of health complications for Adam, drastically changing his life and the life of the creator. The keyword 'concussion' is a focal point for understanding the physical and emotional turmoil experienced by the couple.

💡Quality of life

Quality of life refers to an individual's overall well-being and ability to enjoy life. The creator expresses concern about Adam's quality of life, noting that he is never comfortable and cannot engage in activities he once loved. This concept is crucial to the video's message, as it highlights the profound impact of Adam's injuries on his daily life and happiness.

💡Caregiver

A caregiver is someone who provides care and support to those who cannot fully care for themselves. The creator identifies herself as a caregiver for Adam, reflecting on the emotional and physical demands of this role. The term 'caregiver' is significant as it underscores the creator's dedication and the sacrifices she has made to support her husband through his health crisis.

💡Support system

A support system consists of friends, family, and other individuals who provide emotional and practical assistance. The creator mentions her small but close-knit support system, which includes her brother, husband, and a few friends. This keyword is important as it highlights the importance of having a reliable network of people to lean on during challenging times.

💡Soulmates

Soulmates are often described as two people who have a deep, spiritual connection and are meant to be together. The creator refers to Adam as more than a soulmate, suggesting an extraordinary bond that transcends a typical romantic relationship. This keyword is significant as it conveys the depth of their connection and the creator's commitment to Adam despite his health issues.

💡Public perception

Public perception refers to how individuals are viewed or understood by society or the public at large. The creator discusses the challenges of having personal matters become public knowledge through her online presence and the subsequent questions from strangers. This keyword is relevant as it touches on the tension between privacy and the public's curiosity, especially when personal struggles are shared online.

💡Healing

Healing, in this context, refers to the process of recovery, both physically and emotionally. The creator mentions seeking healing through various treatments and a move to a new home that she believes will be beneficial for Adam. This keyword is central to the video's narrative, as it represents the ongoing quest for improvement and hope in the face of adversity.

💡Uncertainties

Uncertainties refer to unknowns or situations that are unpredictable or uncertain. The creator expresses uncertainty about Adam's condition, the effectiveness of treatments, and the future. This keyword captures the essence of living with an unpredictable health condition and the emotional turmoil that comes with not knowing what the future holds.

💡Manifest

To manifest something is to make it happen or cause it to become a reality, often through positive thinking or intention. The creator ends the video with a call to manifest Adam's improvement, reflecting a desire to use positive energy and hope to influence the outcome. This keyword is significant as it encapsulates the creator's hopeful attitude and the belief in the power of positive thinking.

Highlights

The speaker shares that this video is the hardest they've had to make, as it discusses a deeply personal and ongoing struggle.

They reflect on their decision to be authentic online, despite the potential for vulnerability.

The speaker admits to feeling lonely and having a small, close-knit group of friends and family.

They recount their early relationship with Adam, starting from their teenage years.

The speaker describes Adam as a kind, gentle soul who has always supported their dreams.

They discuss the challenges of Adam's concussion and its long-term effects on their life together.

The speaker shares the emotional impact of seeing Adam suffer and their struggle to maintain a normal life.

They mention the various treatments and clinics they've sought to help Adam recover.

The speaker expresses gratitude for their online community and the support they've received.

They discuss the difficulty of balancing their online presence with the privacy and care needed for Adam.

The speaker shares Adam's desire for even a single year of normalcy despite his condition.

They describe the limitations and challenges Adam faces daily due to his concussion.

The speaker talks about the fear and uncertainty surrounding Adam's health and future.

They mention an upcoming trip to Utah for a specialized treatment program.

The speaker expresses hope for Adam's improvement despite the darkness of their current situation.

They thank their viewers for their understanding and support, emphasizing the importance of positivity.

Transcripts

hi guys

um I've made a lot of hard videos I feel

like every once in a while I swing in

and I tell you something that I had

lived through or been through and it was

like you know a hard video to make

but this is definitely going to be the

hardest

it's something that I've

am something that I am living in

constantly

and something that's happening to the

number one person in my whole world

I put my life out on the internet and I

remember deciding you know two years ago

when this whole Tick Tock thing started

that

I had a choice and I was like I can be a

version of myself

I can be myself but a bit of a Twist I

could guard myself a little bit but at

the end of the day I tried on a few of

those different things and the only

thing that really felt comfortable

was when I was exactly

who I am

and in being that I shared the most

intimate moments of my life and I've

continued to and I think I found it easy

because

I don't want to use the word lonely not

that I'm a lonely person

I don't go out and I don't really have

friends

I work a lot and I have my my group

which is my brother and my husband

I have some you know I have some friends

that mean a lot to me but none of them

live here they're not people I see on a

daily basis you know we snap I'm really

thankful I I would say I have like

you know

two best friends

um I says Chris and Lord

I have my manager who's awesome and then

I have my husband and my brother and

that's my whole wide world

so I found it easy to put myself on the

internet because when you talk to a

camera

I know there's people there but this

disconnect comes and when I see people

in real life they come up to me and they

ask me questions about my life and

things that are going on and for a

moment I'm like wait how do you know

this and and how do you know these

things and it's like does Selena you

literally put this out for anybody to

see a few months ago

a month ago a month and a half maybe two

I finally told the world about Adam

I'm such an ugly crier and I know this

is going to be such a mess

Adam and I started dating when I was a

teenager

I was at this really weird period in my

life

um

a lot of really bad things had happened

and in a previous video I I talk about

what happened with the Victoria Stafford

case the little girl in my town who was

murdered

and the man who murdered her and had a

I dealt with him was stalking and how I

had to

testify against him and stuff in court

this weird thing had happened in me then

and as I talked about in that video I

just always felt guilty and such a huge

part of it and I just didn't want to be

loved

and I didn't think I deserved love

and I was not on a good path and I was I

was Free Falling

openly spiraling

I was dropping out of school

I was being Reckless I was doing things

I shouldn't do

and I gone to this psychic he said I'd

marry an Adam with blue eyes and that's

a story I've shared on tick tock

and I kind of put it out to my friends

like who knows an atom with blue eyes

and he's like something needs to happen

here

and one person knew Adam and gave me

their number and um

the rest was history

we met

and I knew that day

I knew that day

it's weird when you meet someone and

it's just easy

and you're not ever at each other's

throats

and you have a kind of compassion and

care for them that you've just never

felt and I feel like sometimes it's it's

beyond a true love and I feel like with

Adam it's beyond true love it's beyond

beyond soulmates I feel like a psychic

actually said this man I bring it up a

lot but you guys know what I love

but she said we've been together for a

lot of lifetimes

and I believe that

because when I look at him

I know that I've known him forever

and watching him

fade away

and knowing there's nothing I can do

has been

devastating

let me rewind

in 2014

okay let's start I need to back up we

got married in 2013. I was literally a

baby

but I would just I was just like I want

to lock it down I freaking love this guy

he is the kindest sweetest most gentle

soul and when I say gentle and kind

there is not a mean bone in this man's

body there is not

a mean thought

and he loves fiercely and he always

pushed me to be who I wanted to be and

when everyone else told me I was silly

he had my back

whatever crazy Dream I Dreamed up he

made it happen whatever thing I wanted

he made it happen if there was a trip or

a place he made it happen

and I like to hope that I was good for

him too and I remember you know he was

he was kind of a partier in high school

and

his mom worked at the hospital and my

mom had been there for an appointment

and she just said to him she said to my

mom she's good for him

because he he really partied he was a

weekend warrior and I think I really I

really calmed him down

he calmed me down too

I always say everyone needs an atom

in a part of their life

but yeah we were kids he was six years

older than me and we got married so

young and I know a lot of people were

like oh my God what's gonna happen is

this gonna make it through like we've in

total been together for like 13 or 14

years like we're not we're not just like

a fling anymore

but um after we got married

um I got pregnant

like I don't know six months later or

something like that and after that

happened I had a miscarriage as I've

talked about before

I got really sick and somehow I have

been I had my pregnancy had triggered

Meniere's disease so I had really bad

vertigo and I had to leave work and I

spent like a year in the bathroom two

years not working at all

and he never questioned me and he never

got sick of me and he never got sick of

me up throwing up in the middle of the

night because I was so dizzy like

he let me heal he let me lay in bed for

days at the time when I went to a dark

place he he got me out of there he ran

those baths he bought me those ice

creams he did everything

[Music]

I started this candle company in 2016

when I was feeling better and it was

awesome and even though he worked five

days a week on that Saturday he'd wake

up at Buck crack in the morning and he

would help me lug all those candles to

the market and he'd be there at six

o'clock and he would help me set up all

these candles and sell them and like

this is so not this dude's thing

Adam is a dude's dude like when I say he

is a dude's dude he played hockey

growing up

he loves fishing he loves biking he

loves hiking he was such an Outdoorsman

like he can golf like nobody's business

he can fish like nobody's business he

loved mountain biking it was go go go he

had so much fun going and going on trips

with his family and his friends and

making memories

in May 2017

he was in the backyard working on his

garden

and there was this post it was a two by

four or a two by two and it was stuck in

the ground he was wrenching on it and he

was wrenching on it and it snuck back

and it hit him Square here

in the forehead

and he hit himself hard but he didn't

really think anything of it

it was a really hot day maybe it was

June

but it was really hot with the human X

it was it was hot like here in Canada

even though it can be early in summer or

late in Spring we can have some really

really hot days

and he kept working

that was on the Saturday or the Sunday

Monday he went to work

and he called me and he was like

something's wrong I don't feel right

comes home

he's white as a ghost and he is blue he

has these big blue bags under his eyes

and like dramatic looking and I was like

we need to go to the hospital

so while we're there the emergency

doctor you know says yeah you definitely

have a concussion let's get you a

doctor's note for a few days off

so he took a few days off

in the few days

turned into the year of Silence

couldn't go back to work

I sold off The Candle Company

we couldn't have the TV on there

couldn't be music

and he sat in this Lazy Boy chair

in silence

not much light

no sound

for a year

but we had hope

and he went to a special clinic for his

brain

he got better a little bit

got back to work

but something wasn't right still

one day we decided we're gonna go for a

rum

and he ran

we ran hard we're like we're gonna get

fit this is our chance

and I think we knew that night something

wasn't right it's like his blood had

pumped too hard or something or the

bounce thing had done something because

we had been so delicate with him

and everything got so bad so fast

little tiny thing started setting him

backwards and backwards he'd lift

something heavy

we were at this point where

you couldn't do anything you loved and

that's where we are now

I

like there's a lot of things that I want

to say

but I still want to keep

private

but it's hard because

you know I do let the people in on a lot

of things and then in public people come

up they're like well how's Adam

and it's like I wanted to tell the

internet world and I know you're a part

of that internet world but like I don't

want to talk about it in real life

and that's what all these strangers

always ask me like and I and I love

anyone who comes up to me and I say

strangers but I know your followers and

I consider you my friends but it's so

hard when when you've met someone and

they're like how's your husband and it's

like I can't talk about that because

it's really sensitive

for me and for him

I could explain how it kept getting

worse

but I think I more so just want to

explain how it is now

I don't really think Adam has quality of

life

there's never a moment that he's

comfortable

never

foreign

and he can't really do anything

with his arms

everything makes him worse at this point

he can hold his phone and he can feed

himself and

you know we've found clothing that he

can put on himself

but we have like a mechanical bed

but sleeping is so bad even laying on

his own head from this concussion

is too much

and if maybe in a certain moment of the

night for four minutes he has his head

the wrong way the whole next day is just

a spiral

and I want to keep up with everything

that's going on in my life because

that's the one thing without him

even though he is so uncomfortable and

he is living through the hardest time of

his life

he's like the only thing that makes me

happy is seeing you happy and seeing you

grow and seeing you do all of these

things and do well all of these things

but like

it's so hard to leave

knowing that the whole time I'm gone

he's gonna be sitting in one spot or

laying in one spot

I can't really watch television

he goes in the computer which is awesome

and he really takes care of like my

whole world but like you want your socks

on I got you shoes on I got you you know

helping with the simplest of things that

you know we take for granted every

single day

but it gets really sad

and I hate when he gets sad about

feeling bad for me because I feel so

lucky that I still have him

but he worries because you know I grew

up with a sick parent and he's like I

don't want you to have to be like a

caregiver your whole life but I'm like I

signed up for you and you're my best

friend

but he has changed a lot

and he's not who he was

his moods are very all over the place

his hope is all over the place

and like I know he would never choose to

leave me

if you know what I mean

YouTube friendly way of saying that

but it doesn't keep me from sometimes I

come home and I call out and he doesn't

answer me

and then I just start running around the

house to find him

foreign

just go from place to place sitting

and it's not like we can have visitors

because he gets so overwhelmed and so

tired so easily

and we can't really go in public because

he can't walk very much because he gets

very sick gives pounding headaches super

dizzy super nauseous super like

everything

and like we're supposed to go to this

brain clinic in Utah

so drive for two hours he's he's afraid

like and it makes sense and he's gonna

get so bad by the time he gets there

that that whatever they're going to be

able to do for him isn't even gonna work

because he's gonna get so sick getting

there and getting home because like if

you even bump him

you're up against him wrong

he's so sick

it's kind of like he's a ghost sometimes

because he's him he is

but he's such a shallow who he was

he can't do anything he loved

but he takes a lot of joy in helping me

and

like this set you know Joel put that's

why we have Joel if everyone knows like

my brother

um he's a part of this team and he does

all the things Adam can't mow the lawn

and do the garbage and and help me take

care of the pets and the animals and and

you know everything but like he's the

one that could choose these settings on

the camera and he's the one that bought

the camera and bought the lights and he

find such a happiness in doing these

little things

and that's why I wanted to move

because he's been very trapped in this

house

and we were able to find this beautiful

place and it's it's 50 acres

and he can just like be free

and I feel like it's a really Healing

Place

and it's hard to say that he can't do

anything but at the same time he does he

does so much for us and so much for our

family

but he has other than that no happiness

and he's never comfortable and it's so

specific to what he can eat because

there's so many triggers that make him

so sick and he's always in pain

and then it comes the fear

because like I said if he gets bumped

he's bad

and like I want to keep doing things and

I want to keep

doing videos and I feel like I'm letting

so many people down in my life and I'm

like I don't think people understand

that like

when Joel goes home

you know it's just me

and I have a sick parent and I have to

take care of the house and do all this

stuff and I know I could bring more

people in but like that's just more

stress for him and I just want him

to get better

it was a night and it was really bad

because sometimes he can't sleep and it

goes to such a dark place

and he just said he's like I would give

up the rest of my life for one good year

with you

one year where we could just be normal

like not even do stuff but just be

normal again

how is the saddest thing I'd ever heard

because Adam was everyone's favorite

the life of the party

the best cook

the best golf partner

best fish enthusiast

he had so much fun living

yeah

he

completely took advantage of being alive

he was the one that fixed everything

and I just wish that

I could fix him

but the brain is hard

and there's so many uncertainties and

there's so many questions and we've seen

and talked to so many doctors but 99 of

the things we've already done and the

things that we haven't done we can't do

because it makes it worse or or we try

it for them and it does it just makes it

worse

and then it's just fearful of trying

anything because if he goes back even

farther than he is

it can't

we had a conversation the other day

anytime I'm in the tub he has to go the

washroom

and he was just like

you can really have it all and have

absolutely nothing

I would give up everything

for him to be better

I'm so scared it's something that we

don't even think of like I know that

it's this concussion but I'm like is

there this blood clot somewhere is there

like a tumor because we go to all these

different doctors and everyone has a

different opinion

and then I hear these things that scare

me and

his sister passed away at his age

and if I didn't have Adam

if the world didn't have Adam

he's my best friend

but it's been hard to watch him fade

away

I wish I had a list of questions I could

answer

I feel like I missed a million things

we're going away

to Utah to try a program that is

apparently the best in all of America

and they say things like 70 of patients

leave 50 better than they were

50 percent

we take 10.

it's dark around here

it's very quiet

it's pretty tense

but I have hope

I know a lot of the time he doesn't

but I do

I just want to make this video because

it's my number one asked question

and I appreciate how much you guys love

him

and he appreciates it

and he loves hearing about the top

comments on videos

and I hope it answers enough things so

hopefully some people don't ask me in

public because they ask and then

immediately I just want to start crying

I just wanted to get better because I

love my brother and he does all the

things with me like he goes to all my

trips with me in LA and stuff like that

but like

I know Adam wants to be there

he's my biggest cheerleader and I know

he wants to meet these people but he

can't even Shake someone's hand

I just want him back

it's been

five years

and it's just never been this bad

thank you for watching this

thank you for supporting me

I know I do silly funny stuff but that

is

what gets me through

I feel like a lot of the saddest darkest

people out there are always you know

into comedy

thank you to my friends for sticking

with me

thanks to my my manager for always

having my back

but I just need them to get better

manifest