Bryce Dallas Howard: How to Preserve Your Private Life in the Age of Social Media | TED

Summary

The speaker reflects on the pressures of living in public in the digital age, drawing parallels to the 'Black Mirror' episode 'Nosedive.' She shares her family's experience with public life, emphasizing the importance of privacy and personal boundaries. Her mother's parenting tactics, such as no coddling and building character over appearance, are highlighted as ways to navigate public exposure. The speaker advocates for a 'two-day delay' and 'posting with purpose' to maintain a meaningful private life, which she believes is the true measure of one's value.

Takeaways

• 🎥 The speaker shares a personal connection to the pressures of public life through her role in 'Black Mirror: Nosedive' and her family's experience in the entertainment industry.
• 🌐 We have entered an era where everyone has the potential to live publicly and the pressure to share more of ourselves than we might be comfortable with.
• 🤔 The compulsion to self-expose is a significant social experiment, with people making decisions about personal boundaries without clear guidance.
• 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker's family, with three generations in entertainment, offers a blueprint for navigating public life, including her father's experience as a child actor and director.
• 🌿 The speaker's mother, Cheryl, chose a path of privacy and instilled values of resilience and character in her children to prepare them for public life.
• 🐍 Cheryl's parenting tactics included no coddling, promoting character over appearance, and building confidence through chores and community service.
• 🔒 The importance of a private life was emphasized as a counterbalance to public exposure, suggesting that privacy enriches the public persona.
• 👪 The speaker discusses the concept of different tiers of relationships and the appropriate levels of self-sharing within those relationships.
• 🤳 The speaker advises a 'two-day delay' principle before posting online, allowing for private reflection before public sharing.
• 🎯 She also suggests posting with a purpose, questioning the motive and impact of sharing on loved ones before going public with personal content.
• 🏆 The speaker concludes that the legacy we create in private is as significant as any public recognition, emphasizing the enduring value of a rich private life.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the 'Black Mirror' episode 'Nosedive' mentioned in the script?

The main theme of 'Nosedive' is the dystopian future where social interactions are publicly rated, and the pressure to gain likes and approval leads to a breakdown of the protagonist's mental health.

How does the speaker describe the current era of social media and public exposure?

The speaker describes the current era as one where everyone has access to a global audience and lives in public, often feeling pressured to share more of themselves than they want to in order to be relevant, fit in, get ahead, and be trusted and liked.

What is the significance of the speaker's family history in the entertainment industry?

The speaker's family history in the entertainment industry provides a blueprint for navigating public life, as they have been contending with the challenges of self-exposure for three generations.

Why did the speaker's mother, Cheryl, adopt 'extreme parenting tactics'?

Cheryl adopted extreme parenting tactics to toughen her children up, so they would have more courage and less fear when dealing with the public eye and uncomfortable situations.

What was Cheryl's approach to building confidence in her children?

Cheryl believed that confidence comes from character, not looks, and she emphasized hard work, particularly in service of others, to build character and confidence.

How did Cheryl view the impact of fame on personal life?

Cheryl recognized that while fame came with blessings, it also had an impact and potential cost on personal life, and she emphasized the importance of privacy.

What is the importance of a private life according to Cheryl?

Cheryl believed that a private life is precious and sacred, and its value lies in what you don't share and what you withhold, which makes a public life worth living.

How does the speaker apply her mother's lessons to her own children's engagement with social media?

The speaker applies her mother's lessons by encouraging her children to develop their sense of self through participation in the digital world, while also teaching them to be mindful of their privacy and the value of their inner circle.

What are the 'two main principles' the speaker follows when sharing on social media?

The speaker follows the 'two day delay' principle, waiting 48 hours before posting, and 'post with purpose', asking herself why she is sharing and how it serves the people she loves.

What is the speaker's view on the legacy created in private life?

The speaker believes that the legacy created in private life is as powerful and lasting as any public accolade, and perhaps even more so, as it is measured by the richness of one's private life.