How does Responsibility shape our lives? | Radio #9
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of 'Spice and Nice,' the hosts discuss parenting styles, particularly the balance between strictness and flexibility. They share personal anecdotes about their children's reactions to their structured upbringing and the importance of teaching manners and boundaries. The conversation also touches on the influence of school and the necessity for children to learn from real-world consequences and direct feedback. The hosts emphasize the need for a harmonious approach to parenting that combines both fun and discipline.
Takeaways
- 👩👧 The mother in the script is strict and values structure, which is a trait she inherited from her own mother.
- 🧠 The daughter's lack of focus leads to accidents, such as spilling rice, which the mother sees as a teaching moment.
- 📚 The mother believes in giving instructions to prevent such incidents and emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes.
- 🏠 The mother insists that her daughter clean up and eat the spilled rice as a lesson, highlighting the need for responsibility.
- 👩🏫 The daughter finds her school teacher to be stricter than her mother, which has changed her perspective on her mother's strictness.
- 👨👧 The father (Joey) is portrayed as a fun parent, in contrast to the mother's strict approach, creating a balance in parenting.
- 🤝 The parents agree on the importance of structure but also recognize the need for flexibility and balance in parenting.
- 👋 The mother teaches her daughter about basic manners, such as greeting people when they arrive, emphasizing respect and politeness.
- 👀 The daughter's behavior, such as not acknowledging her mother's presence, is addressed as a lesson in manners and respect.
- 🚫 The mother does not allow her daughter to cross boundaries or behave rudely, and she expects others to correct her daughter if necessary.
- 🌐 The mother believes in preparing her daughter for the real world by teaching her to face consequences and to be responsible for her actions.
Q & A
What is the main issue the mother is discussing in the script?
-The main issue is the mother's strictness and her daughter's reaction to it, including the daughter's lack of focus and manners.
How does the mother define 'strictness' in comparison to 'intensity'?
-The mother clarifies that 'strictness' is about having a structured way of life and schedule, whereas 'intensity' refers to the level of focus or energy one puts into something.
What incident led the mother to emphasize the importance of manners to her daughter?
-The incident where the daughter did not greet her when she came home prompted the mother to teach her a lesson about basic manners.
How did the mother handle the situation when her daughter did not greet her?
-The mother confronted her daughter about not greeting her, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging someone's presence with a simple 'hi'.
What is the mother's perspective on teaching her daughter about consequences?
-The mother believes in teaching her daughter to face the consequences of her actions and to be responsible for her own life.
How does the mother feel about her daughter's school and its strictness?
-The mother is glad that her daughter's school is strict, as it helps reinforce the values she tries to teach at home.
What is the mother's view on other parents' approach to discipline?
-The mother appreciates when other parents correct her daughter's behavior and encourages direct feedback to her daughter rather than complaining to her.
How does the mother describe her parenting style in comparison to 'Joey'?
-The mother describes herself as more strict and structured, while 'Joey' is portrayed as the fun parent.
What does the mother think about her daughter's behavior when she is preoccupied with something else?
-The mother believes her daughter's lack of focus leads to accidents, like spilling rice, and uses these incidents as teaching moments.
What is the mother's opinion on her daughter's language and behavior learned from school?
-The mother acknowledges that her daughter picks up language and behavior from school, and while she tries to correct it, she also accepts that some things are out of her control.
How does the mother handle conflicts between her children and their friends?
-The mother encourages open communication and expects her children's friends to address issues directly with her daughter rather than complaining to her.
Outlines
👩👧 Parenting and Discipline
The first paragraph discusses the challenges of parenting, particularly the balance between being strict and maintaining a structured environment. The speaker, Nice, reflects on her own strictness and how it's perceived by her daughter, who prefers a more relaxed approach. The conversation delves into the importance of teaching children lessons, such as cleaning up after themselves when they spill food, and the value of manners. It also touches on the dynamics between parents and children, and how external influences, like school, can affect a child's perception of discipline.
👨👧👦 Setting Boundaries and Teaching Respect
In the second paragraph, the focus shifts to setting boundaries and teaching respect. The speaker addresses the issue of children crossing boundaries and the importance of correcting them when they do. There's a discussion about how parents should allow others to correct their children's behavior if it's disrespectful. The speaker also emphasizes the significance of teaching children to treat everyone with respect, regardless of their relationship. The paragraph concludes with the speaker's approach to parenting, which includes being direct and honest with her child about expectations and manners.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Strictness
💡Intensity
💡Structure
💡Flexibility
💡Manners
💡Consequences
💡Parenting
💡Feedback
💡Harmonize
💡Boundary
💡Responsibility
Highlights
The episode begins with a discussion about strict parenting and its impact on children.
A child's complaint about her mother's strictness leads to a conversation about structure and organization.
The mother explains the difference between being strict and being intense, emphasizing the importance of structure.
A humorous incident involving a child jumping with a bowl of rice and the consequences of her actions.
The importance of teaching children to face the consequences of their actions is highlighted.
A comparison between the mother's strictness and that of a school teacher, showing different levels of discipline.
The child's realization that her mother is not as strict as her school teacher, changing her perspective.
The role of a 'fun parent' versus a 'strict parent' and the balance needed in parenting.
A discussion on the importance of manners and teaching children to greet others properly.
An incident where the child did not greet her mother, leading to a lesson on respect and acknowledgment.
The concept of setting boundaries with children and not allowing them to cross certain limits.
Encouraging children to treat others with respect and not just their parents, as a life lesson.
The idea that parents should allow others to correct their children's behavior if it's inappropriate.
A debate on whether children should be taught to treat everyone differently based on their roles.
The mother's approach to parenting, which includes direct communication and setting clear expectations.
The impact of the child's school environment on her behavior and the mother's parenting style.
The episode concludes with a reflection on the importance of manners, respect, and boundaries in parenting.
Transcripts
hi guys episode of spice and nice I am
man that's SP and I'm
nice today she just saw me in the face
she she say Mom you're too loud Mommy I
don't like one thing about you that is
your
strictness one do with your intensity
bab nothing to do with your intensity
strict is not intense okay no it's not
it's nothing to do with intensity it's
your way of structure that you like so
then structure your schedule because my
mom was exactly the same and I hated it
because I was no
flexibility but is it sign thing what
right you get what I mean everything
must be in boxes yeah but if it not got
organized for her who would organize for
her I know was I hated it too I'm not
saying it's not good I just say I hated
it you know she will jumping jumping
jumping and she hold the bow of price
and the whole bow of price is flying the
of course of course and she just look at
the rice and she look at the bow and she
look at me and she just like
that but she know she made a mistake why
would you be jumping around with the
bowl of rice in the first because her
brain is not with the bowl of rice her
brain is somewhere she even admit to me
after that that she not focus right yeah
obviously but for me it's like that's
why I give you instruction so you can
don't do this kind of things yeah and at
that moment I have to fight myself like
even Joey see and he look at my face
like should I help her should I not help
her no you are like GRE I say I don't I
don't make anybody help her she have to
use hand to make everything in the bowl
again and she have to eat that bowl
price you you guys don't tell me that I
make my kid eat dirty Stu no the floor
is it's a house it's a house floor she
need to learn her lesson okay if this is
her food and it's on the road and it's
got sent and this the only meal she have
for the next 4 day how do that happen
right make Fall by
yeah yeah and certain thing you need to
be structures yeah I know the strict and
you cannot every you cannot everything
flexible I agree it doesn't mean I have
to like it I know right and that's the
thing it's like it's like oh I should
eat like chicken breast and tofu but you
know what I'm glad I'm glad that she go
to school that teacher is more strict
than me wow yes and now I teach is more
strict must go outside I tell you the
whole school because the school is top
10 in sing so ah that explains why my
school is so very yeah so she were like
Mommy you strict but you see only 1%
only my teacher is small so it's okay
because the teacher got his performance
review if your kids behave badly yeah so
she say her teacher is way more strict
than me so I'm finally from a a scary
mom I become an
angel my mom is okay she's not so
straight like that yeah yeah she finally
realized that but she say I'm still
straight compared with Joey right but
Joey is you need a fun parent and stet
parent oh yeah yeah yeah no I'm Joey is
a fun parent I'm totally support that
I'm not not want to deal with that I'm
okay with but now he also start feel
annoying because he no because he start
feel they both fighting over the weekend
because of that as well you know but so
they come to the day that now right now
you know they the same but it's like
that you have to do this and then you
can kind of like then you find your
balance and then you harmonize I like
how after I go to class done and I go
out and I see him and her like two like
want to kill each other what happened
and he were like you know I love her but
sometime I just feel like you know
because she's really she's really too
all she's not too she's really all over
the place yeah today when I today when I
came in h because she so her brain is
not focused right yeah she not so today
when I came in the house she didn't say
hi to me so I I don't want to I don't
want to I'm like okay I'm not okay you
know so but she's she's playing a game
she saw me she didn't say hi to so she I
just put on my back down and do all my
things she said she start
she said oh you know that I see my
weapons like something like that right
like see my game BL blah blah I think
she treat you as family member no know I
said to her I said did you he say hi to
me you talking to me now you talking to
me now you didn't say hi to me earlier
right what makes you think I want to
answer a question now then she say oh
hi but I think this lesson needs to be
thought right it's like basic maners
when you see somebody you say hi I mean
not saying you touch them or what inside
right she get used so comfortable with
people after for to that she not treat
them like guest anymore it's not about
treat for me it's basic basic man so
that's like when I and that's why she
don't like me when I asked her why you
say hi to the yeah I I don't get so I'm
like oh you talk to me now you want to
answer you when you didn't acknowledge
my existence when I came me y she wet in
her face she got it so she was like hi I
said no you want to say hi hi I said
okay why you see why show me then she
like that's horrible no no no
but it's it's a light it's just a light
lesson it's not no you should give more
lesson you see the the thing of like for
example the boy don't don't come or like
Joey always let her to play like cross
cross the boundary I call and I both
come to me and say hey ever lying in the
game ever cheating in the game then I
look at both of these little boy and the
little man and I say she never she never
do that to me because I never allow you
both allow her to do it
don't ask me why because people will
always expect the parent to fix the kid
I said you are allow the kid to treat
you certain way you have full right to
correct my child if she behaved the way
that you don't want to be
treated right because you she treat me
different and they say yeah but I should
teach her to treat everyone different if
that's person for example I say if I
don't go there and jump and people ask
people buy toy for you but that person
you say no it's okay she the kid it's
okay what do you want what do you want
to buy for you it's you train the kid to
treat you that it's not just kid it's
anybody anybody yeah it's like it's like
why some people they say oh how come
people are not so rude to you I say it's
because I don't allow people to do
correct correct I mean I'm not good you
have to have a bound yeah I'm not good
like and in the sense that I would tell
like oh you you know like and give that
a piece of mind I will
just you have no more access to me
that's it and then I walk away she very
nice I'm not that nice yeah but it's but
it's the same that I'm telling them that
regardless as a boundary right and you
are not to Closs it so yeah I think it's
because you're also slightly different
as a parent in Singapore a lot of
parents are very protective not so if
you sco the kid they be oh why you SC my
K you know I more happy but for end
she's like it's good to have feedback I
also pushed Joey to to do that I also
push Maya to do that I say if you're not
happy with her you tell to her face no
because you why are you telling to me
you want Ava to learn what the real how
the real world was exactly not every
when she grows up you're not going to be
there yeah nobody's going to come to
like hey you know your kid that didn't
go to work today can you please ask come
tomorrow you have to face the
consequence of her action and her
behavior and be responsible for her own
uh life and also that person need to
learn how to willing to be tell to her
face all that I don't like how you treat
me that's it you have to to do it for
yourself man like I don't I cannot
follow everybody to manage my kid you
know what I mean yeah so I mean I teach
certain thing but the rest are like come
on whack in her face mean not whack
whack but like I didn't whack I just say
oh I say wack in the word yeah I'm
trying to say like just say in her face
and she is a strong baby she can take
your word I know that's why I told but I
yeah my teaching way different from yeah
and say basically it's telling her that
you cannot just talk to me when you want
to talk to me you should say hi first
you need to have a polite mannering
manners right okay it's much better now
last time when I first came walk she
didn't she didn't look at me she I
remember she put ah head that right she
always make people think I'm a bad
mother I'm a monster mother and she very
cute and all that but no she I just felt
the first time I felt I was like she not
saying hi I okay
say hi say hi maybe she feel a bit Moody
today I don't know right she just
sometimes she in something she do F she
focus on something and she don't
Focus the first few times I came now she
not shy anymore now she get used to say
hi no she say I'm a crazy yeah that's
why she told me she said you're crazy
you crazy I'm like okay that's you know
a lot of language that kid use is just
from the school yeah no matter how much
you correct at home I don't mind her
call calling me crazy because I guess
compared to you I'm considered very
crazy
I still try to fix it but while you
cannot fix something every morning the
kid and we will see you guys at the next
episode of spy I am and the SP ni bye
[Music]
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