How to Discern | LITTLE BY LITTLE | Fr Columba Jordan CFR
Summary
TLDRThe speaker discusses the importance of discernment in deepening one's spiritual life. They emphasize that discernment is about prayerfully determining God's specific will for an individual, not just choosing between good options. The process involves seeking holy indifference, being unattached to personal desires, and listening for God's guidance through feelings of love, joy, and peace. The speaker highlights the significance of surrendering all aspects of life to God, ensuring actions align with His will, and experiencing the grace and fulfillment that comes with it.
Takeaways
- 🎯 Discernment is key to deepening your spiritual life and understanding God's will.
- 🙏 A daily prayer practice is essential for effective discernment; aim for at least 30 minutes a day.
- 🎒 Holy indifference is crucial—detach from unhelpful attachments and focus on God's will.
- 📝 Keep a list of significant decisions you need to discern, avoiding trivial matters.
- 🧘♂️ Achieving peace and calm before discernment helps ensure you're ready to receive God's guidance.
- 🌟 Consolation, characterized by love, joy, and peace, is a clear indicator of God's 'yes.'
- 🚫 If you feel no movement in your heart, it's likely a 'no'—don't be afraid to say no to others.
- 📜 Regularly return to the grace of your discernment to stay focused and aligned with God's will.
- 💡 Practicing discernment reduces stress and increases joy by ensuring you act in accordance with God's desires.
- 🌍 Discernment isn't just about making decisions; it's about surrendering all aspects of your life to God.
Q & A
What is the most necessary thing to enhance one's spiritual life, according to the speaker?
-The speaker suggests that discernment is the most necessary thing to enhance one's spiritual life. It involves prayerful consideration to understand God's will and make decisions that align with it.
How does the speaker define discernment in a Christian context?
-Discernment is defined as a prayerful process of deciding what actions to take by understanding what God wants rather than just choosing from multiple good options.
What are the preliminary steps to discernment mentioned in the script?
-The preliminary steps to discernment include living a serious Christian life, regularly praying for at least half an hour daily, and ensuring one is not in a state of spiritual desolation.
What is meant by 'holy indifference' in the context of discernment?
-Holy indifference refers to a state of being free from any attachment or aversion towards any outcome, allowing a person to be open to whatever God wills without personal biases.
What does the speaker recommend doing if someone struggles to achieve 'holy indifference'?
-The speaker recommends praying for grace, making acts of faith, expressing gratitude, and surrendering any attachments or fears to God to achieve 'holy indifference'.
What should one do if they experience fear or doubt during discernment?
-If fear or doubt arises, one should return to the preparatory steps such as making acts of faith, expressing gratitude, and trusting that God will make His will clear.
How does the speaker suggest determining God's 'yes' or 'no' in discernment?
-The speaker suggests asking God directly for clarity and then listening for movements of the heart, such as feelings of peace, joy, love (for a 'yes'), or a sense of neutrality or lack of feeling (for a 'no').
What role does 'consolation' play in the process of discernment?
-Consolation, which can manifest as love, joy, peace, or other positive movements of the heart, is seen as a sign of God's 'yes' or affirmation during the discernment process.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not questioning a decision once discerned?
-The speaker emphasizes this to prevent confusion and doubt, which can disrupt the clarity achieved through discernment. Sticking to the discerned decision allows for a stronger faith and trust in God's guidance.
What does the speaker suggest doing if the discernment is unclear after a session of prayer?
-If discernment remains unclear, the speaker suggests pausing the discernment process and returning to it the next day. It is important not to rush but to wait for clear guidance from God.
How can returning to the 'grace of the discernment' help during moments of doubt or confusion?
-Returning to the 'grace of the discernment' involves recalling the feelings and experiences of peace and clarity felt during discernment. This helps reaffirm the decision made and strengthens confidence in God's guidance.
Outlines
🔥 Igniting Your Spiritual Journey
The speaker discusses the importance of discernment in deepening one's spiritual journey. They emphasize that while being committed to prayer and sacraments is crucial, the key to advancing further in faith is discernment—understanding not just what is good, but what is God's specific will for you. The speaker dispels the myth that discernment is complicated, reassuring that it can be straightforward by asking Jesus for clarity and looking for signs of consolation, such as love, joy, and peace.
🛠️ The Process of Holy Indifference
The concept of 'holy indifference' is explained as being detached from anything that isn't aligned with God's will. The speaker advises that before beginning the discernment process, one must achieve a state where they are indifferent to personal desires, whether it be enthusiasm or aversion. The goal is to be solely focused on God's will, free from unhelpful attachments. The speaker shares their own practice of daily discernment prayer, emphasizing the importance of being prepared and in the right spiritual mindset before making decisions.
🎯 Sharpening Your Discernment
The speaker provides practical steps to discern God's will, such as asking for clear signs of consolation and paying attention to movements of the heart. They stress the importance of patience and being attentive to how God communicates through feelings of peace, joy, and love. The speaker also highlights the significance of recording these experiences in a journal and revisiting them to reinforce confidence in the discernment. They share personal experiences of how this method has led to powerful and clear guidance, reducing stress and increasing joy in following God's will.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Discernment
💡Consolation
💡Holy Indifference
💡Desolation
💡Spiritual Movements
💡Prayer
💡Vocation
💡Saint Ignatius
💡God's Will
💡Thanksgiving and Faith
Highlights
The most necessary thing to send your spiritual life into overdrive is discernment.
Discernment is not just about choosing between good and bad, but finding out what God specifically wants you to do.
The importance of praying for at least half an hour every day to ensure you are moving in the right direction spiritually.
If you are in desolation, it’s not the right time to discern; wait until you are in consolation.
Discernment should be about significant decisions that will impact your life and schedule on a long-term basis.
Holy indifference means being unattached to anything except God’s will, allowing you to discern more clearly.
The preparatory step for discernment includes prayer, making acts of thanksgiving, and building faith.
The enemy will resist your efforts to discern, so it's crucial to start with thanksgiving and faith to counter discouragement.
When discerning, ask Jesus to make His will clear through movements of the heart, such as feelings of peace, joy, or love.
If you receive a clear 'yes' during discernment, act on it immediately and don’t second-guess the decision.
If you get a 'no' during discernment, it’s important to accept it and not be swayed by external pressures.
Return to the grace of the discernment frequently to stay aligned with God’s will, especially when preparing for tasks.
Discernment is a powerful tool that can significantly reduce stress and increase joy by aligning your actions with God’s will.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of surrendering your entire life to God to live a peaceful and fulfilling life.
Clear discernment leads to experiencing God's presence and grace more fully, benefiting both you and those around you.
Transcripts
bingo
[Music]
so let's say you are you are really
following god and you're really on fire
you're loving prayer you're loving you
know the sacraments and getting a lot
out of it what would i say is the one
thing most
necessary to really send you into
overdrive like to be really really
future like i'm loving this
what can i do to really you know up my
game so there is something i would say
and that thing is drumroll
discernment i know you all were like
discerning about that and you already
knew that i'm sure discernment means to
try and figure out what a good course of
action is what something i need to do
something it's making it a decision
really but it's usually used in kind of
christian circles to mean a prayerful
mulling over and deciding what to do to
know not just what the good thing is
because loads of things are good guys
loads things are good what is the god
thing the one thing he wants you to do
ah great news for you it's super simple
okay you're thinking
i have to not eat for 40 days and then i
have to climb a mountain it was really
really simple and i'm going to tell you
what that is in a moment when i look at
my notes couple of disclaimers or
preparatory comments first up you might
find it very very helpful to check out
my other video on uh discernment of
spirits because in that i talk about
saint ignatius and the principles he
lays down to help us know when we're in
what's called desolation when we're in
constellation
yeah you got to be praying okay yes just
living a serious uh christian life and
just a thing on that you know you have
to be moving towards god saint ignatius
says moving from from good to better he
describes the other one as moving from
bad to worse okay so if you're moving
bad towards like every day you kind of
go slipping a bit further and you're
kind of letting that happen you're
choosing it so that's the bad one but
the good one is you're going from good
to better meaning you're trying every
day to grow i want to grow my love of
god okay i'm i'm still struggling we
might be even struggling with with
mortal sin but you're you're sincerely
sorry you you are since you're making
firm purposes of amendment when you
confess that means that you're like i i
really don't want to do this again and
i'm committing my my
all my weak pathetic resources to
changing that
bingo you are heading in the right
direction so don't stress it even if you
still fall into sin from time to time
all right so you have to be praying guys
otherwise you're wasting your time gotta
be praying at least half an hour every
day and then you want to check you're
not in desolation check the other talk
out for that but if you're in desolation
don't be discerning so here we are super
simple what do you do to discern god's
will what do you do what i do i ask
jesus to make it super simple for me i
feel like jesus you know how terrible i
am at discerning this stuff could you
please make it simple and just if you
want me to do something just make it
clear with uh with consolation with like
love joy peace or some other form of
consolation basically what it is is
learning what god's yes is i'm not sure
if i should do this thing i'm not sure
if this is my vocation if you know what
god's yes is and you can just say to him
do you want me to do this thing and then
you wait and listen and if you get a yes
bingo right it's pretty simple if the
yes is just consolation it's like love
joy peace patience all that sort of
stuff the no is just it's not desolation
but it would just be
a kind of flat it's kind of just normal
you i don't feel god's presence i don't
feel any movement of the heart there's
yeah nothing going on so just some
really simple steps then of how to do
this so you want to get obviously get
yourself a list so whenever there's
something that you really need to
discern guys don't be putting like what
toothpaste to buy on there don't be
getting all into the tiny minutia what
cake should i eat where should i go on
holidays you know just decide where to
go on your holidays yourself this is for
stuff that you're feeling like i really
feel i should get involved in this
ministry i'm gonna you know commit my
tuesday nights to go to this prayer
meeting stuff like that that's actually
going to impact your life your schedule
on a long term basis like what my
vocation is that's a biggie and maybe i
can go into more detail in that one and
a future future talk but this is the
kind of stuff the big to medium-sized
stuff in your life so i get a list i
have a list in my pocket then the next
thing is i need to get some holy
indifference now indifference we can
sometimes think about like i don't care
whatever whatever that is not
what saint ignatius would say about holy
indifference it means a lack of
unhelpful attachment okay so i want to
be attached to jesus i want to be
attached to his kingdom to his will
to the things that draw me towards him
but mostly i just want to be attached to
him if someone asked me to go to such
and such a place and preach a retreat if
i really really want to do this thing
for its sake rather than for god's sake
because god wants it then i'm attached
to that i i don't have holy indifference
i have an unholy attachment and maybe
i'm one i can't wait because there's
people there and they're going to think
i'm awesome and
maybe it's the opposite maybe i'm like
oh my gosh i could never do that
so this terrible aversion okay that's
that's also not holy indifference
because i totally don't want to do that
thing indifference between like no if if
you want me to do it jesus i want to do
it but if you don't want me to do it
then i don't want to do it so the only
thing i'm attached to is his will okay
so we want to get to that place and
that's before the discernment starts so
sometimes people get to this place of
holy and different like oh yes i'm
really peaceful now i could do it i
cannot do it and they think that's the
discernment they think that's a yes it's
not a yes that's just you being ready to
discern sometimes it's tricky to get to
holy indifference so i will do some
preparatory stuff i'll be in a time of
prayer i do this every day i no you
don't have to do this but this is me i
pray
for a discernment on one issue one
request every day and just take a maybe
five or ten minutes to do this um and i
have a list so then i will thank god i
kind of make acts of thanksgiving for
this gift of discernment i'll make acts
of faith to believe like i believe lord
that you do want me to know your will
that you do want me to know it easily
and clearly that this is possible that
you want to reveal that to me now stuff
like that i'll just build up my faith
and i'll praise god through that
like i said i'll thank him for other
times that he's made his will clear and
i'll kind of think of those i might look
on my list and go oh yeah that one and
that was so blessed and i thank him for
it and that again builds my faith and
opens me up to hear him more clearly i
also do that because the enemy old red
legs he does not want you doing this if
you get this guys you will be so
dangerous you'll stop being a mile wide
and an inch deep you start being
an inch wide and a mile deep meaning you
will be focused like a laser god's laser
of the kingdom to do just what he wants
we're wasting our energy we're wasting
the church's resources and energy doing
like stuff let's go this is not what god
wants so it's totally missing the mark
even if it's not evil
we shouldn't be doing it so this stuff
is is absolutely crucial so the enemy
he's gonna resist you he's gonna it's
gonna be hard you're gonna be you're
gonna get discouraged sometimes he's
gonna really try and hit you with
discouragement so that's why i really
plug in this you know thanksgiving and
faith right at the start super super
important then what i'm doing is i'm
checking for that attachment you know
the fear or the aversion all that sort
of thing so what i often say is lord if
you want me to do this i want to do it
and i'll check my heart how am i feeling
am i afraid am i overly attached would i
be okay if i didn't i'm just making note
of how i'm feeling then i'll do the
opposite if you don't want me to do it i
don't want to do it god and again i'll
check my reaction how free am i to just
go after god's will and i'll go back and
forth a little bit and if i feel i'm not
free then i'll i'll ask god god
please give me this holy indifference if
i'm afraid of what
what it might how it might go i'm afraid
of doing the thing again i'll surrender
that to god and maybe make some acts of
faith and surrender that sort of thing
so i just
spent some time there to really get my
heart free a little psalm that's very
helpful to me psalm 119 147 i hope in
your word for me that means i can't wait
till you speak clearly to me about this
request i hope in your word i really i
can't wait for it and i know it's coming
then after i've done that i feel in a
place of peace and calm i feel yeah i'm
i could do this or not do this i'm chill
i'm indifferent then i ask him i say
jesus if you want me to do this please
make that really clear to me now really
simply and clearly by giving me love joy
and peace or whatever consolation you
desire so i ask and then i listen what
am i listening for i'm not listening for
words i'm listening for movements of the
heart i'm observing my heart and just
seeing as i think about doing this thing
do i experience some form of consolation
and guys this is where it this may take
some time for you to get to know how he
speaks to you through movements of the
heart through consolation is it a peace
sometimes i've experienced a piece that
is it almost feels like it's feeding
your soul feeding my soul it's so
thick and rich and beautiful or a joy
that is is again it's just beautiful
it's like this joy mixed with peace and
it just rises up in in the heart or love
i just feel this
experience of like love of our lord or
of of souls coming up
stuff like that so it's it's clear it's
not what normally happens as i'm walking
about my day and doing my jobs and it's
it's unusual so you will know what
consolation looks like in your life and
this is this so this is why this stuff
might take a bit of time for you to get
used to that sort of thing so just sit
there be patient make some notes in your
journal listen ask him again if you find
yourself i'm not oh i feel some fear
coming up about this i feel doubt that
god could really make this clear i'd
feel doubt that i could really hear him
i go back to the the preparatory stuff
of really making those acts of faith no
i really believe that you want to make
it clear what your will is for me if it
comes to the end of my you know five or
ten minutes that i've given towards this
and i'm i'm still not clear or i'm still
not quite indifferent then i sometimes
will just hit pause and come back to it
the next day which is fine but once i
get the word that means i'm asking him
jesus do you want me to do this thing
and i feel like great peace i feel joy i
feel it feels almost like his joy about
the thought of me doing this his love
his peace his
his
anointing his enthusiasm just sort of it
comes to my heart and i and it also is
is very much the way i have been used to
experiencing his consolation
then i know it's a yes very simply and i
take out my pen and i do a little dick
beside the request on my on my list and
i cross it out and my discernment is
over at that point now this is a very
very simple way to do this guys so there
might be some others who have a much
more complicated way this
works amazingly for me and it's very
simple now as i said i don't go back to
discern that again if in a future day
i'm like oh and i get another request on
the same day
like oh maybe oh because i really
no i made this discernment and it was a
yes for this event and that's what i'm
doing and i'm just like jesus like
everything else is this is what the
father is asking me to do so just in
faith i'm just gonna trust that he has
got that's his will he's gonna provide
he's gonna do everything and i've had
the most extraordinary experiences of
him like providing the talk so
powerfully for whatever event i had to
go to like it would just come to me
almost there as i sit discerning and i
discern it i get this beautiful strong
yes in my heart this enthusiasm this joy
this peace and the talk just comes it
flows right out of the grace of that
consolation and then the event
numerous times has happened it's been so
so blessed because this wasn't my
decision this wasn't just me randomly
trying to guess god's will this was him
clearly saying to me and me clearly
responding and then me staying committed
to that so after i've listened and i got
a clear yes i act and i don't question
it i go for it very important otherwise
you give a chance for the enemy to get
in there and so confusion and it gets so
messy and also if i get a clear no i i
pray about it i listen and it's like no
every time i've discerned this there's
just been no movement in the heart at
all then i know it's a no it doesn't
matter who asked me to do it yeah i
won't be able to do that one yeah i'm
not going to be able to go to africa
with you this this summer
[Music]
and sometimes that might be difficult
can be difficult for me to say no to
people but it's really really important
if there's no point in us discerning if
we're not able to say no we're just
wasting our time so really ask god for
the grace to do that and do it freely
and joyfully and as an act of worship of
him the other thing that i will do is i
will return to the grace of the
discernment so if i'm still preparing
for an event for a talk for whatever i
will remember
that request remember the grace of it
and i'll just yeah let my heart enter
back into that place of discernment and
this is amazing i will experience the
same consolation it'll come up right
away peace a sense of god's presence is
very frequently for me i have the sense
of god's presence almost like a warmth
around me and this beautiful piece it
really helps me prepare for whatever
that that event is and it's also if i
get confused or discouraged you know i'm
saying oh maybe i got this wrong i will
say no i discerned right and i'll go
back to that grace i'll remember what it
was like
to get that grace and i will experience
it again that's again something saint
ignatius says return to the grace that
you experienced in prayer frequently
guys this is a game changer it has been
a game changer for me it has massively
reduced my stress and hugely increased
my joy in the lord my ability to be
aware of how constantly he is present in
my life and speaking to me through these
movements of the heart how much he
really
he really wants me to live a beautiful
peaceful joyful fulfilling life and he
wants that for you too but we have to
surrender all of our life to him this is
one of the most beautiful ways i've ever
found to do that and not just running
around doing my own thing or doing what
i think maybe he wants me to do is doing
what i know he wants me to do and i'm
experiencing the grace of it lots of
people i'm seeing him around me are
experiencing that too so i hope this has
been helpful god bless you
you
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