Drew Dudley "Everyday Leadership" - TED Talks
Summary
TLDRThe speaker reflects on the misconceptions surrounding leadership, suggesting that we often view it as an unattainable goal rather than acknowledging the small, impactful moments we create in others' lives. Through a personal story of a 'lollipop moment' at a university, they illustrate how seemingly insignificant actions can profoundly influence others. The speaker encourages embracing our power to positively affect others, redefining leadership not by grand gestures but by the everyday 'lollipop moments' we can acknowledge and foster.
Takeaways
- 🤔 The speaker suggests that many people are uncomfortable identifying themselves as leaders because leadership has been perceived as something grand and beyond the reach of the average person.
- 🌟 Leadership is often associated with the ability to change the world, which can make individuals feel like they are not yet deserving of the title due to a sense of arrogance or cockiness.
- 🎉 The speaker believes that by focusing on extraordinary achievements, society may devalue the everyday acts of leadership that people perform without recognition.
- 👋 The importance of acknowledging and celebrating 'lollipop moments' is highlighted, where small acts of kindness or influence can significantly impact someone's life.
- 😲 The speaker shares a personal story where a seemingly insignificant interaction had a profound effect on a student's life, demonstrating the power of small actions.
- 😅 The speaker admits to not remembering the impactful moment, which underscores the idea that impactful moments may not always be recognized by the person who initiated them.
- 💡 The concept of 'lollipop moments' is introduced as a metaphor for the positive and transformative moments in life that are often overlooked.
- 🙏 The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and express gratitude for the positive impacts they have had on others' lives.
- 🌱 The idea that leadership is not about titles or power, but about the everyday moments where we influence and care for others is presented.
- 💥 The speaker challenges the audience to redefine leadership as being about the positive moments we create and acknowledge, rather than traditional notions of power and influence.
- 🌈 The final call to action is to overcome the fear of our own power and potential, to value the impact we have on each other's lives, and to redefine leadership in a way that is more personal and accessible.
Q & A
What is the main issue the speaker identifies with people's perception of leadership?
-The speaker identifies that people often perceive leadership as something too big or beyond themselves, which they believe is reserved for those who change the world, and this perception can lead to a reluctance to identify oneself as a leader.
Why does the speaker feel concerned about the way leadership is celebrated?
-The speaker is concerned because the celebration of leadership is often focused on extraordinary achievements that few can attain, which can lead to the devaluation of everyday acts of leadership and the failure to recognize and appreciate the positive impact one can have on others.
What is the significance of the 'lollipop moment' in the speaker's story?
-The 'lollipop moment' is significant because it represents a small, seemingly insignificant act that had a profound impact on someone's life, demonstrating that leadership and positive influence can be exerted through simple, everyday interactions.
How does the speaker's experience with the girl at Mount Allison University redefine their view on leadership?
-The speaker's interaction with the girl, where a simple act of kindness and humor made her feel at home and confident to continue with her education, redefines leadership for the speaker as being about creating positive, memorable moments for others, rather than grand gestures or world-changing actions.
Why does the speaker feel that acknowledging 'lollipop moments' is important?
-The speaker believes acknowledging 'lollipop moments' is important because it helps individuals recognize and value the impact they have on others, fostering a culture of gratitude and mutual appreciation, which can lead to a more positive and supportive community.
What does the speaker suggest as an alternative to the traditional view of leadership?
-The speaker suggests redefining leadership to be about creating, acknowledging, paying forward, and thanking others for 'lollipop moments,' which are small acts that significantly impact others' lives.
What is the role of memory in the story shared by the girl at Mount Allison University?
-Memory plays a crucial role in the story as the girl recalls a specific incident from four years prior that had a lasting impact on her, while the speaker has no recollection of the event, highlighting the difference in how people remember and are affected by seemingly small interactions.
How does the speaker use the concept of 'lollipop moments' to encourage the audience?
-The speaker uses the concept of 'lollipop moments' to encourage the audience to recognize their own potential to positively influence others through everyday actions, and to not underestimate the power of these small acts in shaping someone's life.
What is the speaker's call to action regarding leadership?
-The speaker's call to action is for the audience to overcome their fear of being powerful and influential in others' lives, to redefine leadership in terms of creating and acknowledging 'lollipop moments,' and to value these moments more than traditional measures of success like money, power, and titles.
How does the speaker relate the concept of 'lollipop moments' to changing the world?
-The speaker relates 'lollipop moments' to changing the world by suggesting that if each person can change one person's understanding of their potential and the world, collectively, this can lead to a profound transformation in society as a whole.
What lesson does the speaker draw from the story of the girl and the guy she later married?
-The speaker draws the lesson that sometimes the most significant impacts we have on others' lives are not grand gestures but small, everyday acts that can lead to lasting connections and positive change, as evidenced by the girl's decision to stay at university and later marry the guy she met there.
Outlines
🌟 The Power of Everyday Leadership
The speaker begins by questioning the audience's comfort with identifying themselves as leaders, noting a common reluctance. They reflect on how society has elevated leadership to a status that seems unattainable, often associated with world-changing actions, which can discourage individuals from recognizing their own leadership in everyday situations. The speaker shares a personal journey of redefining leadership, starting with a story from Mount Allison University. A student recounts how the speaker unknowingly influenced her decision to stay at university by creating a light-hearted, welcoming moment with lollipops and humor. This interaction, which the speaker doesn't remember, had a profound impact on the student's life, illustrating the concept of 'lollipop moments'—small acts that significantly affect others. The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and appreciate these moments, as they are the essence of true leadership.
💡 Redefining Leadership Through Lollipop Moments
In the second paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the concept of 'lollipop moments,' emphasizing the importance of acknowledging the positive impacts we have on others' lives. They reference Marianne Williamson's quote about our greatest fear being our own power, calling for an overcoming of this fear to fully embrace our potential to influence others positively. The speaker suggests that leadership should be redefined around creating, acknowledging, and paying forward these 'lollipop moments.' They argue that by focusing on these small but significant acts, we can change the world one person's perspective at a time. The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to redefine leadership in this way, to value the impact we have on each other more than traditional measures of success like money, power, and titles.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Leadership
💡Arrogance
💡Cockiness
💡Celebration
💡Devalue
💡Lollipop Moment
💡Catalyst
💡Power
💡Fear
💡Influence
💡Acknowledgment
Highlights
The speaker discusses the discomfort many people feel when identifying themselves as leaders.
Leadership is often perceived as something grand and beyond ordinary individuals.
The fear of arrogance or cockiness prevents people from acknowledging their leadership abilities.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and celebrating everyday acts of leadership.
The story of a student's first day at Mount Allison University illustrates the impact of a seemingly small act.
The student's fear and the support from her parents are detailed to set the scene for the story.
The encounter with the speaker, who was promoting a charity, changed the student's decision to stay at university.
The humorous interaction involving a lollipop and a stranger had a profound effect on the student's life.
The speaker's lack of memory of the event highlights the power of small, unintentional acts.
The concept of a 'lollipop moment' is introduced as a pivotal point in someone's life.
The speaker encourages the audience to recognize and acknowledge their own 'lollipop moments'.
The idea that leadership is not just about grand gestures but also about small, impactful actions is presented.
The speaker calls for a redefinition of leadership to include the everyday positive impacts we have on others.
The importance of valuing personal impact over traditional measures of success like money and power is discussed.
The speaker uses the quote from Marianne Williamson to emphasize our fear of our own power.
A call to action is made for the audience to embrace their potential to positively influence others' lives.
The speech concludes with a message of hope and a challenge to redefine leadership in a more personal and impactful way.
Transcripts
[Music]
how many of you are completely
comfortable with calling yourselves a
leader see I've asked that question all
the way across the country and
everywhere I ask it no matter where
there's always a huge portion of the
audience that won't put up their hand
and I've come to realize that we have
made leadership into something bigger
than us we made it into something Beyond
us we made it about changing the world
and we've taken this title of leader and
we treat it as if it's something that
one day we're going to deserve but to
give it to ourselves right now means a
level of arrogance or Cockiness that
we're not comfortable with and I worry
sometimes that we spend so much time
celebrating amazing things that hardly
anybody can do that we convinced
ourselves that those are the only things
we're celebrating and we start to
devalue the things that we can do every
day and we start to take moments where
we truly are a leader and we don't let
ourselves take for it and we don't let
ourselves feel good about it and I've
been lucky enough over the last 10 years
to work with some amazing people who
have helped me redefine leadership in a
way that I think has made me happier and
with my short time today I just want to
share with you the one story that is
probably most responsible for that
redefinition I went to a school on a
little school called Mount Allison
University in Sackville New Brunswick
and on my last day there a girl came up
to me and she said I remember the first
time that I met you and then she told me
a story that happened four years earlier
she said on my day before before I
started University I was in the hotel
room with my mom and my dad and I was so
scared and so convinced that I couldn't
do this that I wasn't ready for
University that I just burst into tears
and my mom and my dad were amazing they
were like look we know you're scared but
let's just go tomorrow let's go to the
first day and if at any point you feel
as if you can't do this that's fine just
tell us we will take you home we love
you no matter what and she says so I
went the next day and I was standing in
line getting ready for registration and
I looked around and I just knew I
couldn't do it I knew I wasn't ready I
knew I had to quit and she says I made
that decision and as soon as I made it
there was this incredible feeling of
peace that came over me and I turned to
my mom and my dad to tell them that we
needed to go home and just at that
moment you came out of the Student Union
building wearing the stupidest hat I
have ever seen in my life it was awesome
and you had a big sign uh promoting sh
REM which is students fighting cystic
fibrosis a charity I've worked with for
years and you had a bucket full of
lollipops and you were walking along and
you were handing the lollipops out to
people in line and talking about shama
and all of a sudden you got to me and
you just stopped and you stared it was
creepy this girl right here knows
exactly what I'm talking about and then
you looked at the guy next to me and you
smiled and you reached in your bucket
you pulled out a lollipop and you held
it out to him and you said you need to
give a lollipop to the beautiful woman
standing next to you and she said I have
never seen anyone get more embarrassed
faster in my life he turned beat red he
wouldn't even look at me he just kind of
held the lollipop out like
this and I felt so bad for this dude
that I took the lollipop and as soon as
I did you got this incredibly severe
look on your face and you looked at my
mom and my dad and you said look at that
look at that first day away from home
and already she's taking candy from a
stranger and she said everybody lost it
20 ft in every direction everyone
started to howl and I know this is
cheesy and I don't know why I'm telling
you this but in that moment when
everyone was laughing I knew that I
shouldn't quit I knew that I was where I
was supposed to be and I knew that I was
home and I haven't spoken to you once in
the four years since that day but I
heard that you were leaving and I had to
come up and tell you that youve been in
incredibly important person in my life
and I'm going to miss you good luck and
she walks away and I'm flattened and she
gets about 6 feet away she turns around
and smiles and goes you should probably
know this too I'm still dating that guy
four years
later a year and a half after I moved to
Toronto I got an invitation to their
wedding here's the kicker I don't
remember that I have no recollection of
that moment and I've searched my memory
banks because that is funny and I should
remember doing it and I don't remember
it and that was such an eye openening
transformative moment for me to think
that the maybe the biggest impact I'd
ever had on anyone's life a moment that
had a a woman walk up to a stranger four
years later and say you've been an
incredibly important person in my life
was a moment that I didn't even remember
how many of you guys have a lollipop
moment a moment where someone said
something or did something that you feel
fundamentally made your life
better all right how many of you have
told that person they did
it see why not we celebrate birthdays
where all you have to do is not die for
365
days and yet we we let people who have
made our lives better walk around
without knowing it and every single one
of you every single one of you has been
the Catalyst for a lollipop moment you
have made someone's life better by
something that you said or that you did
and if you think you haven't think about
all the hands that didn't go back up
when I asked that question you're just
one of the people who hasn't been told
but it is so scary to think of ourselves
as that powerful it can be frightening
to think that we can matter that much to
other people because as long as we make
leadership something bigger than us as
long as we keep leadership something
Beyond us as long as we make it about
changing the world we give ourselves an
excuse not to expect it every day from
ourselves and from each other Maryann
Williamson said our greatest fear is not
that we are inadequate our greatest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure
it is our light and not our darkness
that frightens us and my call to action
today is that we need to get over that
we need to get over our fear of how
extraordinarily powerful we can be in
each other's lives we need to get over
it so we can move Beyond it and our
little brothers and our little sisters
and one day our kids or our kids right
now can watch us start to Value the
impact we can have on each other's lives
more than money and power and titles and
influence we need to we Define
leadership as being about lollipop
moments how many of them we create how
many of them we acknowledge how many of
them we pay forward and how many of them
we say thank you for because we've made
leadership about changing the world and
there is no world there's only six
billion understandings of it and if you
change one person's understanding of it
one person's understanding of what
they're capable of one person's
understanding of how much people care
about them one person's understanding of
how powerful and agent for change they
can be in this world you change the
whole thing and if we can change
understand leadership like that I think
if we can redefine leadership like that
I think we can change everything and
it's a simple idea but I don't think
it's a small one and I want to thank you
all so much for letting me share it with
you today
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