Childless Couples who choose not to have children

Summary

The video explores the contrasting views on parenthood, focusing on the Duggar family, who embrace having a large number of children, and couples who choose to remain childless. The Duggar parents reflect on their journey of unexpectedly raising 19 children, while individuals from the 'No Kidding' club explain their decision to remain childless by choice. Experts discuss the economic and societal impacts of declining birth rates in the U.S., and the debate about whether having children is selfish or selfless. Ultimately, the video highlights the diversity of choices around family life and the complex reasons behind them.

Takeaways

• 😀 The Duggar family, famous for their show '19 Kids and Counting,' has 19 children and emphasizes traditional family values and etiquette.
• 😀 Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar initially did not plan to have children right away but were led to have a large family after a miscarriage.
• 😀 The Duggars hold a strong religious belief that family decisions, including having children, are guided by divine intervention.
• 😀 The increasing cost of raising a child in America, now estimated at $1.1 million, is a significant factor in many couples choosing not to have children.
• 😀 Parenthood is on the decline in the U.S., with the rate of childlessness increasing from 1 in 10 women in the 1970s to 1 in 5 today.
• 😀 Many couples, like Laura and Vinnie Chiao, choose to remain childless by choice, citing personal preference rather than a hatred for children.
• 😀 Some argue that expecting every woman to want children is an unrealistic societal pressure, which can lead to disappointment when those expectations are unmet.
• 😀 Jessica Valente, author of 'Why Have Kids?', challenges the assumption that not having children is selfish and advocates for other ways to contribute to society.
• 😀 According to a CBS News poll, only 16% of people think those who remain childless are selfish, with most seeing it as a personal choice.
• 😀 Falling birth rates and a decreasing replacement rate (1.9 children per woman) could have significant economic consequences, including a growing elderly population needing support.
• 😀 Families and childless-by-choice couples both face societal judgment, but both groups agree that happiness is achievable with or without children.

Q & A

What is the Duggar family's living situation and why is it unique?

The Duggar family lives in a 7,000 square-foot house in Northwest Arkansas, which is not only their home but also serves as the set for the TLC show *19 Kids and Counting*. The family follows strict etiquette rules and emphasizes values like respect and proper manners in their daily life.

How did Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's family grow so large?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar initially weren't sure if they wanted children, but after a miscarriage, they sought divine intervention and were blessed with twins, followed by more children in rapid succession. They have 19 children in total.

What is the Duggar family's stance on their children's choices about having kids?

The Duggars believe it is ultimately up to their children to decide whether or not to have children, with respect to any potential medical issues or personal choices they may face in the future. The decision is left to each child and their spouse, guided by their faith.

What are some reasons people might choose not to have children?

According to Jonathan Last, financial cost is a major factor, as it can cost around $1.1 million to raise a child in a typical middle-class American household. Other reasons for not having children include cultural, practical, and personal preferences.

How has the rate of childlessness changed in recent decades?

The rate of childlessness has increased over the years. In the 1970s, about 1 in 10 women were childless, but that number has now risen to about 1 in 5.

What is the perspective of those who are 'childless by choice'?

People who are childless by choice, like Laura and Vinnie Chiao and Tracy Ellen Cayman and Jared Skullnick, argue that not everyone desires to have children, and that not having children does not equate to hating kids. They simply don't feel the same attachment to parenthood as others might.

How does Jessica Valente, author of *Why Have Kids?*, view societal expectations regarding motherhood?

Jessica Valente argues that there is a societal expectation that all women deep down want to be mothers, which she believes sets women up for failure if they don't experience the joy and fulfillment they were led to expect from motherhood. She also challenges the idea that having children is the only way to be selfless.

What is the argument against the idea that not having children is selfish?

Many argue that choosing not to have children can be more selfless than having children when one is not fully prepared to be the kind of parent they want to be. The decision to forgo children allows individuals to contribute to society in different ways, such as through charitable work or personal achievements.

How is the falling birth rate affecting society?

The falling birth rate is causing concerns about the future economy, as there are fewer children being born to support an aging population. A lower birth rate leads to a shrinking workforce, which can create economic challenges, including the strain on social security and Medicare systems.

What are the arguments presented by those who do want children, as opposed to those who choose not to have them?

Those who want children, like the Duggars, argue that having children is a fulfilling experience, despite the challenges. However, those in the 'no kidding' group, who choose not to have children, highlight the personal and financial difficulties associated with parenthood and believe that happiness can be achieved without kids.