Habits that made me get my life together in my 20s
Summary
TLDRIn this reflective video, the creator discusses the pivotal habits that transformed his life during his 20s. He candidly shares his journey from being directionless and indulging in distractions to developing a disciplined lifestyle. Key habits include abstaining from pornography, setting clear goals, taking massive action, working out, respecting one's natural rhythm, delaying gratification, and embracing extreme accountability. These practices have not only improved his physical health but also significantly enhanced his mindset and overall life satisfaction.
Takeaways
- 🚫 Abstaining from pornography and masturbation can lead to increased focus, energy, and improved relationships.
- 🎯 Setting clear goals is essential for intentional living and achieving aspirations.
- 🏃♂️ Taking massive action towards goals is crucial for real change and requires consistent effort.
- 💪 Working out regularly not only improves physical health but also enhances mental discipline and motivation.
- ⏰ Recognizing personal biological clocks and working within them can lead to higher efficiency and productivity.
- 🍰 Delaying gratification and making decisions for long-term benefits is key to future success.
- 🧠 Embracing an extreme accountability mindset shifts focus from external factors to personal responsibility and growth.
- 💡 Visualization is a powerful tool that can help in creating and achieving personal realities.
- 💼 Hard work, even if it involves a temporary imbalance in work-life balance, is necessary for significant life changes.
- 🌞 Understanding that different people have different peak productivity times and respecting one's natural rhythm is important for personal effectiveness.
Q & A
What were the speaker's main activities during his early 20s?
-During his early 20s, the speaker was mostly focused on partying, getting girls, and other degenerate behavior. He was also addicted to video games from the age of 15 to 19.
How did the speaker feel about his life around the age of 25?
-By the age of 25, the speaker felt that he had made significant improvements in his life, including turning his passion into a thriving business, getting his finances in order, having a loving relationship, and building a stronger body.
What is the first habit the speaker suggests to improve one's life?
-The first habit the speaker suggests is abstaining from pornography and masturbation, as it can have a negative impact on one's brain and energy levels.
How does the speaker describe the neurochemical impact of pornography on the brain?
-The speaker describes the neurochemical impact of pornography as a silent killer that desensitizes the viewer to normal sex, rewiring the brain's response to arousal and draining energy and motivation.
What is the second habit the speaker recommends for personal development?
-The second habit is setting clear goals, which involves being intentional with one's aspirations and having a plan to achieve them.
Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of visualization in goal setting?
-The speaker emphasizes visualization because it helps create one's own reality by first visualizing the goal, being clear about what is wanted, putting it down on paper, and then aligning behavior with ambitions.
What does the speaker mean by 'Massive Action' and why is it important?
-'Massive Action' refers to aggressively moving towards one's goals with consistent effort and hard work. It is important because it is the active step that leads to change and progress towards achieving goals.
How does the speaker feel about the concept of waking up early for productivity?
-The speaker does not believe that waking up early is necessary for everyone. He suggests that being in tune with one's natural sleep-wake cycle is more important for feeling and functioning at one's best.
What is the fifth habit the speaker mentions, and why is it important?
-The fifth habit is delaying gratification, which is important because it helps in making decisions that benefit future outcomes rather than seeking immediate pleasure.
What mindset does the speaker believe made the most significant difference in his life?
-The speaker believes that adopting an extreme accountability mindset, where he takes full responsibility for his life and actions, made the most significant difference in his life.
How does the speaker define 'extreme accountability' and why is it beneficial?
-Extreme accountability is defined by the speaker as a mindset where one takes full responsibility for all aspects of their life, even when things are not their fault. It is beneficial because it gives the individual the power and freedom to change situations for the better.
Outlines
🚫 Overcoming Addictions and Developing Good Habits
The speaker reflects on their transformation from a period of being clueless and focused on the wrong things, such as video game addiction and partying, to a more purposeful and successful phase in their late 20s. They credit this change to the implementation of seven key habits. The first habit discussed is abstaining from pornography and masturbation, which the speaker believes can have a detrimental neurochemical impact on the brain, leading to a cycle of addiction. They suggest that complete abstinence can lead to increased focus, clarity, and improved sexual dynamics. The speaker also acknowledges the existence of online communities like 'nofap' that support individuals in overcoming such addictions.
🎯 Setting Clear Goals and Taking Massive Action
The speaker emphasizes the importance of setting clear, intentional goals as the second habit that helped them get their life together. They share their personal journey of realizing that having goals without a plan is futile and that following someone else's dream did not lead to fulfillment. They now review and set goals annually, categorizing them into long-term, medium-term, and short-term, and further into health, relationships, career, and finances. The speaker also stresses the power of visualization and the need to align one's behavior with their ambitions. The third habit is taking massive action towards these goals, which involves hard work and persistence. They argue that while the concept of 'hustle' has gained a negative connotation, it is necessary to put in the effort to achieve significant life changes.
💪 Prioritizing Physical Fitness and Mental Discipline
The fourth habit discussed is the importance of working out and maintaining physical fitness. The speaker is brief but clear in stating that regular exercise not only improves physical health and appearance but also enhances mental strength by pushing through discomfort. They believe that discomfort is a positive sign that indicates growth and progress. The speaker also touches on the idea that everyone has a unique biological clock, and one should not feel pressured to conform to early rising routines if they are not naturally a morning person. Instead, they advocate for being in tune with one's natural sleep-wake cycle to maximize productivity and well-being.
🌅 Embracing Delayed Gratification for Long-Term Success
The fifth habit is about delaying gratification, which the speaker describes as a key to a better future life. They explain that while instant gratification might be appealing in the moment, it does not contribute to long-term well-being. The speaker introduces the concept of the 'rocking chair version of yourself,' suggesting that one should make decisions that the older self would be proud of. They acknowledge that it's okay to indulge occasionally but advocate for making choices that align with delayed gratification most of the time.
🔄 Adopting an Extreme Accountability Mindset
The final habit, and more of a mindset, is extreme accountability. The speaker shares their personal shift from a victim mindset to one of taking full responsibility for their life's outcomes. They describe how this change in perspective was liberating and empowering, as it placed the control of their life's direction in their own hands. The speaker encourages adopting this mindset, even in situations where external factors are beyond one's control, as it provides the freedom to change and improve one's circumstances.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Habits
💡Pornography and Masturbation
💡Setting Clear Goals
💡Massive Action
💡Workout
💡Biological Clock
💡Delaying Gratification
💡Extreme Accountability
💡Visualization
💡Personal Development
💡Productivity
Highlights
The speaker reflects on their personal growth from age 15 to 25, acknowledging past mistakes and focusing on self-improvement.
The importance of abstaining from pornography and masturbation is discussed due to its potential negative impact on brain function and motivation.
The speaker shares their journey from being addicted to video games to building a successful business and improving their life.
Setting clear goals is emphasized as a critical habit for personal development, with the speaker detailing their goal-setting process.
The concept of Massive Action is introduced, highlighting the need for aggressive pursuit of goals through consistent effort.
The speaker discusses the benefits of working out, including improved physical health and mental discipline.
The idea that everyone has a unique biological clock is presented, with the speaker advocating for personalizing one's daily routine.
Delaying gratification is highlighted as a key habit for long-term success and personal growth.
The speaker shares the transformative power of adopting an extreme accountability mindset over a victim mentality.
The importance of visualization in achieving goals is discussed, with a reference to successful athletes like Muhammad Ali.
The speaker challenges the notion of a one-size-fits-all morning routine, suggesting that personal preferences and productivity patterns should dictate one's schedule.
The concept of the 'rocking chair version of yourself' is introduced as a tool for making decisions that benefit future self.
The speaker emphasizes the importance of hard work and discipline, even when it's challenging, for achieving life goals.
The value of personal fulfillment over monetary gain is discussed, with the speaker advocating for pursuing what one truly enjoys.
The speaker provides practical advice on how to set and review goals, including dividing them into long-term, medium-term, and short-term categories.
The benefits of physical exercise for both physical appearance and mental well-being are outlined, with recommendations for fitness channels.
The speaker shares a personal anecdote about the moment they adopted an extreme accountability mindset, leading to significant life changes.
Transcripts
today I would like to talk about habits
specifically seven habits that made me
get my life together in my 20s because
I'm almost 30 now that feels a bit weird
to say but reflecting back from age 15
to 25 I was for the most part clueless
and focused on all the wrong things from
15 to 19 I was addicted to video games
and then in my early 20s I focused
mostly on partying getting girls and
other degenerate behavior and although I
don't necessarily regret those days I am
grateful to have made significant
improvements in my life over the second
half of my 20s I turned my passion into
a thriving business got my finances in
order have a loving relationship and I'm
building a stronger body day by day I'm
not saying I have it all figured out far
from it but I feel a lot more confident
about my life today than I did five
years ago and that is in great part
thanks to the implementation of
seemingly small but consistent habits so
here are the seven habits that made me
get my life together in my 20s and
hopefully they can benefit you as well
the first habit is to abstain from
pornography and masturbation didn't
think I'd one day be talking about this
on YouTube but let's get real for a
moment without filters I know we all
enjoy a little self-pleasure every now
and then but pornography is a silent
killer especially for men it starts out
as a harmless distraction but it has a
real neurochemical impact on your brain
that progressively gets worse over time
it desensitizes you to normal sex as it
literally rewires your brain on how you
get turned on and it drains your energy
and motivation from within what happens
when you watch porn is every time you do
it you get a release of dopamine which
is the pleasure hormone and the more you
do it the more dopamine gets released
which reinforces the behavior and makes
you want to do it again so you get into
this vicious cycle that over time
becomes harder and harder to escape and
just like a drug your tolerance for
visual stimulation also compounds over
time and then it becomes harder and
harder to get turned on by actual real
sex there is a lot of interesting
research and videos about the effects of
pornography and I'll link to few in the
description but I have seen cases where
it can become extremely damaging to your
life and although it's never snowballed
to that point for myself I can't say
that I've gone through long stretches of
complete abstinence from porn and I
always feel a lot better when I'm not
engaging in pornography I feel way more
focused and clear-minded when I'm off of
it I'm also less distracted and it
improved the dynamic in my sex life like
anything I'm sure if you do it in
moderation it doesn't necessarily have
to lead to the darkest outcomes but
because of its potential to snowball
into this negative cycle many people
prefer to stay off of it entirely in
fact there are communities online like
the nofap movements where people support
each other in overcoming porn addiction
and other forms of compulsive sexual
behavior it is absolutely something that
a lot of men have to contend with so
definitely don't feel ashamed if you
feel like you can relate the second
habits that made me get my life together
is setting clear goals for the majority
of my life until my mid-20s I was never
really intentional with my goals and
aspirations I hoped for things Wish for
Things pray Aid had certain Ambitions
but as the years went by I wasn't
actually getting any closer to achieving
my goals because a goal without a plan
is just a dream and I had no plan I was
just cruising through life doing the
usual things that parents and Society
push it to do go to school get good
grades go to a good uni get a stable job
simply assuming that everything would
fall into place that this would lead to
a fulfilling life but I was wrong after
23 years in the education system once I
actually got the marketing job that I
thought I wanted that I had been
studying my whole life for I realized
that this path was not for me at all I
was following someone else's dream not
my own and since then I have made it a
point for myself to live a very
intentional life and set clear goals
that I actively worked towards so at the
end of every year I take a piece of A4
paper and review my goals I divide them
into long-term goals which are the 10
plus year ones medium-term goals for the
next two to three years and short-term
goals for the next year and then I
further split them into four categories
Health relationships career and finances
and I write it all down by the way
writing things down on paper is actually
a very underrated habit but I digress
back to the goals so I would set new
short-term goals and then review my
medium and long-term ones see how long
track I am and I truly believe in the
power of visualization to create your
own reality I guess we'll never know in
fact many successful athletes use
visualization Muhammad Ali for example
famously said if my mind can conceive it
and my heart can believe it then I can
achieve it you have to visualize your
goal first be clear about what you want
put it down on paper and then align your
behavior to your Ambitions which brings
me to my third habit Massive Action
taking visualizing manifesting call it
what you want but it's only one half of
the equation the other half is actually
moving towards your goals aggressively
with a big emphasis on that word
aggressively things did not start
changing for me until I cut my
put my head down and took Massive Action
every day day after day and I really
hate how the word hustle has received
this negative connotation lately people
talk about hustle porn or orchism toxic
hustle culture but come on sometimes I
think Society has gone a little soft if
you want to make a big change in your
life you need to make big changes in
your behavior whether it's starting a
business mastering a new skill or
getting in shape you'll need some level
of grinding of hard work of putting your
head down and just doing the thing from
someone who went from being 40 000 Euros
in debt to building a six-figure
business within a few years hard work is
a necessity you don't get to get there
without the late nights the pushing
through it when you don't feel like
working and it's normal for it to be
hard it should be hard otherwise
everybody would do it so I think a
little imbalance in your work-life
pendulum for a period of time is okay
the key is you've got to pursue
something that you actually enjoy
because if not you will absolutely burn
out and it just doesn't make sense why
would you work hard to pursue something
that you don't even enjoy because money
alone is not enough I think that
personal fulfillment is so much more
important money is needed and it's great
but not at the cost of your fulfillment
and in this day and age you can monetize
almost any skill set so figure out what
you love doing first then figure out how
to monetize it visualize and take
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the link in the description now back to
the video the fourth habit that made me
get my life together is working out I'm
gonna be brief with this one because you
know it you should know it anybody
that's consumed any self-help content
that is the first thing you hear go to
the gym get your body moving and that's
because it works it not only has the
obvious physical benefit of making you
look better and be healthier but it also
greatly improves your mindset because it
makes you do something uncomfortable on
a regular basis and if I've learned
anything it is that discomfort is
actually a good thing our monkey brain
is wired to chase Comfort but success
and progress in any domain often comes
with getting out of your comfort zone
dreams be dreams and over time building
that consistent habit of working out has
strengthened my motivation and
discipline in all areas of my life it is
a habit I would highly recommend taking
on if it's not already part of your
lifestyle I am no Fitness expert but
there are many great Fitness channels
out there that can help you get started
out like Jeff nippard or athelene X
which I'll link in the description habit
number five is not waking up at 5am a
lot of personal development advice tells
you to wake up super early and have this
meticulously optimized morning routine
to be more productive but after many
times of personally trying out early
morning routines I realize that they
simply don't work for me I learned that
we all have these different biological
clocks some will naturally feel
energized and productive in the evening
and others will naturally be up bright
and early with Peak energy levels early
in the day I am just not a morning
person I feel groggy tired and simply
not as efficient as I am in the evening
and I'm sure many of you will relate to
this and that's totally fine don't feel
like you're not getting ahead if you're
not waking up at 5 do doing a yoga
session a workout and finishing all your
emails before nine everyone has the same
24 hours in a day everyone has the same
24 hours in a day today
realistically if you're waking up at
five that means that you need to be in
bed by 9 or 10 pm at the latest if you
want at least seven hours of sleep so
assuming a similar duration of sleep if
I'm going to bed at 1am and waking up at
8 I'm not getting any less time in my
day than someone who's off at 5am so I
think those 5 a.m morning routines are
not for everybody and that that's okay
being in tune with your biological
clock's natural sleep wake cycle will
allow you to feel and function your best
every day habit number six that helped
me get my life together was to delay
gratification the way our brain is wired
it is our natural inclination to move
away from Pain and towards pleasure to
move away from what is hard and seek
what is easy comfortable pleasurable but
I learned that in life the more you can
delay gratification the better your life
will be in the future of course it feels
better in the moment to eat that dessert
watch another Netflix episode skip the
gym but that is not going to help future
me I heard of this concept recently of
the rocking chair version of yourself
which basically says it may imagine the
80 year old version of yourself that
can't move like you used to that doesn't
have the time and energy to do the
things that your younger self could now
make every decision in your life today
based on what would make that rocking
chair version of yourself proud would
that rocking chair Tim be glad that I
acted the way I did would he be proud of
my actions or would he regret them the
vast majority of the time the instantly
gratifying option is not the right one
so I try as much as possible to suck it
up and do the thing that will improve my
future life don't get me wrong now I
still like to indulge in a pastry from
time to time skip the gym if I genuinely
feel too exhausted I try not to be too
harsh on myself but ninety percent of
the time I will take the action that
comes with delayed gratification lastly
number seven is a bit of a bonus one
because technically it's more of a
mindset rather than a habit but I
thought it was too important not to
mention because it is arguably the thing
that made the most difference in my life
in this past decade and that is Extreme
accountability once I made the switch
from having a victim mind mindset to an
extreme accountability mindset that is
what I felt the most growth in my life
and in myself as a person before I used
to think that if only I was raised
differently or looked differently or
lived in a different place my life would
be better it kept me focused on
externalities rather than looking
inwards I thought the grass was always
greener elsewhere instead of seeing my
own potential and I remember the day
when I made the switch very clearly it
was my first day at the corporate job
that I had been working my whole life
towards and reality hit me in the face
it felt like a glass shattered in front
of me and allowed me to see reality for
what it was for the first time and I
completely switched up took a whole 180
and took full responsibility for my life
I blame myself for everything and
funnily enough when I took on that
burden it actually freed me in a way it
was alleviating to know that in the end
everything was my fault because that
meant that it was also up to me to
change things and to this day I adopt
this mindset of extreme accountability
in everything I do even if something is
clearly not my fault and there is
nothing that I could have done about it
I still would rather take responsibility
for it because that gives me the freedom
and power to change the situation for
the better there are many things that
helped me get my life together in my 20s
I think that really it is a combination
of luck hard work skill and maniacal
Focus but these seven habits I can say
are the ones that have helped me the
most and if I had a younger brother that
I was giving advice to from the heart
these are the seven habits I would want
him to implement so I hope you enjoyed
the video guys I hope it helped you or
provided value to you in some way I wish
you a beautiful day and I will see you
in the next one
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