13 Ways to Clarify When You Don’t Understand Someone | Advanced English Conversation

Summary

In this Speak Confident English video, Annemarie guides viewers on how to navigate conversations when feeling lost or unclear about the topic. She emphasizes the importance of asking clarifying questions to maintain engagement and confidence. Annemarie presents four scenarios where such questions are crucial: when opinions are unclear, thoughts aren't connected, more details are needed, or the topic is unfamiliar. She offers 13 strategies and corresponding questions to help viewers effectively seek and receive clarification, ensuring they can actively participate in any conversation.

Takeaways

• 😀 It's important to be honest and ask clarifying questions when you're lost in a conversation, rather than pretending to understand.
• 🧠 Engaging in conversations about unfamiliar topics like genomes and DNA can be challenging, but it's an opportunity to learn and grow.
• 🗣️ There are four main scenarios where you might need to ask for clarification: unclear opinions, disconnected thoughts, needing more details, and feeling lost due to unfamiliar topics or vocabulary.
• 🤔 When someone's opinion is unclear, restate what you think you heard and ask if you're correct, or ask them to clarify their stance on an issue.
• 🔗 If a speaker's points aren't connected, ask how specific details relate to each other to help them make their argument clearer.
• 📚 When more details are needed, request further information or ask the speaker to expand on their points to gain a better understanding.
• 🏥 In professional settings like discussing medical advice, don't hesitate to ask for more information on vague points, such as potential side effects of medication.
• 🔤 If you encounter unfamiliar words or phrases, it's perfectly fine to admit it and ask for their meanings to stay engaged in the conversation.
• 👶 Using phrases like 'explain it to me like I'm five' can be helpful when you need complex topics to be simplified for better comprehension.
• 💬 Practice asking for clarification in various scenarios to build confidence and ensure effective communication.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the conversation in the provided transcript?

The main theme of the conversation is about the importance of asking clarifying questions in English when one feels lost or doesn't understand something in a conversation.

Why did the speaker feel the need to clear 'cobwebs' from their head?

The speaker felt the need to clear 'cobwebs' from their head because they were discussing a topic, such as genomes and DNA, that was unfamiliar to them and beyond their area of expertise.

What did the speaker choose to do instead of pretending to understand during the conversation with their student?

Instead of pretending to understand, the speaker chose to be honest and asked a series of clarifying questions to fully understand what their student was talking about.

What are the four different scenarios mentioned in the transcript where one might need to ask for clarification?

The four scenarios are: 1) When someone's opinion isn't clear, 2) When someone's thoughts aren't clearly connected, 3) When more details are needed, and 4) When feeling lost in the conversation due to unfamiliar topics or vocabulary.

How can one clarify when they don't know someone's opinion on an issue?

To clarify when someone's opinion isn't clear, one can highlight what they heard and confirm their understanding by paraphrasing the opinion and asking if they are correct.

What is a polite way to ask for clarification when someone's points are not clearly connected?

A polite way to ask for clarification when someone's points are not clearly connected is to ask if they could explain how two specific details relate to each other.

Why is it beneficial to ask for more details when someone's idea or opinion is vague?

Asking for more details when someone's idea or opinion is vague is beneficial because it helps to reduce confusion and frustration by obtaining a more concrete understanding of the speaker's thoughts.

What should one do if they encounter a new word or phrase during a conversation?

If one encounters a new word or phrase during a conversation, it's best to ask for clarification by stating that they haven't heard the word before and asking for the meaning.

How can one stay engaged in a conversation when the topic is unfamiliar?

To stay engaged in a conversation when the topic is unfamiliar, one should resist the temptation to stay silent and instead ask clarifying questions to learn and understand more about the subject.

What is the purpose of the 'Speak Confident English' lessons mentioned in the transcript?

The purpose of the 'Speak Confident English' lessons is to help individuals gain the confidence they need for their life and work in English by navigating conversations effectively.

What is the advice given for someone who feels lost in a conversation due to an unfamiliar topic?

The advice given is to ask clarifying questions such as asking for the meaning of a new word or phrase, or asking the speaker to explain the topic in more detail, similar to how one would explain it to a five-year-old.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Navigating Unfamiliar Topics in Conversations

The speaker, Annemarie from Speak Confident English, recounts a conversation with a student about genomes and DNA, which was outside her expertise. She emphasizes the importance of not pretending to understand but instead asking clarifying questions to gain confidence in the conversation. Annemarie introduces a lesson on how to ask clarifying questions in various scenarios, such as when someone's opinion is unclear, thoughts are disconnected, more details are needed, or the topic is unfamiliar. She outlines four scenarios that will be covered to help learners stay engaged and successfully navigate conversations.

05:02

🗣️ Clarifying Unclear Opinions and Disconnected Thoughts

Annemarie discusses the first two scenarios for asking clarifying questions. In the first scenario, she advises on how to handle situations where someone's opinion is unclear by suggesting questions that help confirm understanding, such as paraphrasing their point and asking if the interpretation is correct. For the second scenario, where thoughts are disconnected, she recommends questions that seek to establish connections between points, helping both the speaker to clarify and the listener to understand. Annemarie uses examples from a company policy discussion and a book club meeting to illustrate how to apply these strategies in real-life situations.

10:02

🔍 Seeking More Details and Navigating Unfamiliar Topics

In the third scenario, Annemarie addresses how to request more details when a speaker's ideas are vague. She provides examples of questions that prompt the speaker to elaborate, such as asking for more information on a topic or requesting expansion on certain points. The fourth scenario focuses on what to do when feeling lost due to unfamiliar topics or vocabulary. Annemarie suggests questions that admit lack of knowledge and ask for explanations, like asking for the meaning of a word or phrase or requesting a simplified explanation. She encourages learners to practice these strategies and apply them to improve their confidence in English conversations.

Keywords

💡Critical-Thinking

Critical-thinking refers to the ability to analyze and evaluate information objectively, using reason and logic. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of using critical-thinking skills when faced with unfamiliar topics, such as genomes and DNA, to engage in meaningful conversations. The speaker had to 'clear all the cobwebs in my head and really put on my critical-thinking, analytical skills' to address the topic, illustrating the application of critical-thinking in navigating complex discussions.

💡Clarifying Questions

Clarifying questions are inquiries made to seek further explanation or to ensure understanding. The video focuses on the use of such questions to navigate conversations where one might feel lost or confused. The speaker suggests using phrases like 'If I understood you correctly, you're saying that...' to paraphrase and confirm understanding, directly relating to the video's theme of maintaining active participation in dialogues.

💡Confidence

Confidence in this context refers to the self-assurance and belief in one's ability to communicate effectively, even in challenging situations. The video's theme revolves around building confidence in English conversations, especially when faced with unfamiliar topics or vocabulary. The speaker encourages asking clarifying questions as a way to stay engaged and confident, rather than remaining silent out of fear of appearing uninformed.

💡Engagement

Engagement here denotes active participation and involvement in a conversation. The speaker discusses the choice between remaining silent and hoping to go unnoticed or asking clarifying questions to stay fully engaged. This concept is central to the video's message, as it promotes active learning and communication, exemplified by the speaker's own experience of asking questions to understand and participate better in a discussion about genomes and DNA.

💡Opinion Clarification

Opinion clarification involves seeking to understand someone's stance or viewpoint on a particular issue. The video provides strategies for clarifying when someone's opinion is unclear, such as by paraphrasing what you think you heard and asking for confirmation. This is demonstrated in the script when the speaker suggests, 'You made an interesting point about... So do you believe that...' to elicit a clearer response from the conversation partner.

💡Connection of Thoughts

Connection of thoughts refers to the logical relationship between different ideas or details within a conversation. The video addresses scenarios where the connection between someone's thoughts may not be clear, and it suggests asking questions to help establish that connection. An example from the script is, 'Could you explain how A and B are related to each other?' which is a strategy to help the speaker articulate the relationship between two seemingly disparate points.

💡Details

Details in a conversation refer to specific pieces of information that provide clarity and depth to a discussion. The video emphasizes the importance of asking for more details when a speaker's ideas are vague or unclear. The speaker provides examples of questions to request more information, such as 'I'd like to understand your thoughts further. Could you tell me more about...?' which is a strategy to gain a better understanding of the speaker's perspective.

💡Unfamiliar Topics

Unfamiliar topics are subjects that one does not know much about or has not previously encountered. The video discusses how to handle conversations involving unfamiliar topics, suggesting that instead of staying silent, one should ask for more information or clarification. This is exemplified when the speaker admits to being unfamiliar with the topic of genomes and DNA and chooses to ask clarifying questions to learn and engage.

💡Vocabulary

Vocabulary pertains to the words and phrases that one knows and uses in a language. In the context of the video, the speaker discusses the challenge of encountering new vocabulary during a conversation and the importance of asking for the meaning of unfamiliar words or phrases. The speaker's own experience of needing to understand a specific term in a conversation about genomes and DNA highlights the need to expand one's vocabulary to participate more effectively in discussions.

💡Explain Like I'm Five

The phrase 'explain like I'm five' is a request for someone to simplify their explanation as if they were speaking to a young child. This technique is used to ensure that complex ideas are broken down into easily understandable terms. The video suggests using this approach when facing unfamiliar topics or vocabulary, as it can help in gaining a clear and concise understanding of the subject matter.

Highlights

The importance of using critical-thinking and analytical skills in unfamiliar conversations.

Admitting unfamiliarity with a topic and choosing to engage rather than pretending to understand.

The value of asking clarifying questions to build confidence in conversations.

Different scenarios where clarification is needed in conversations.

Strategies for asking questions when someone's opinion is unclear.

Using paraphrasing and confirmation to understand someone's stance on an issue.

Asking for clarification when thoughts or details are not clearly connected.

The benefit of asking clarifying questions for both the listener and the speaker.

How to request more details when an opinion or idea is vague.

The polite way to ask for more information without making the speaker feel judged.

Approaches to take when feeling lost due to unfamiliar topics or vocabulary.

The suggestion to ask for explanations as if the listener is a five-year-old to simplify complex topics.

Practical examples of how to apply clarifying questions in real-life conversations.

The encouragement to practice asking for clarification to improve conversational skills.

Invitation for viewers to engage with the content by sharing their thoughts and subscribing.

Transcripts

Recently I was in a conversation with one of my students and I had to take a

moment to tell her I needed to clear all the cobwebs in my head and really

put on my critical-thinking, analytical skills,

because we were talking about something that was absolutely beyond me.

It was a topic that was unfamiliar to me.

We were discussing genomes and DNA...

Things that are not my area of expertise.

And I have to admit in that conversation.

There was a moment where I thought maybe I should just

stay silent, pretend I understand,

and hope that she doesn't ask me any questions,

but that is not the path to confidence in any

conversation or in any language.

So instead I took a moment to be honest,

and I asked her a series of clarifying questions so that I could fully.

Understand what she was talking about.

And it was able to learn so much along the way.

I was also able to stay active in that conversation.

If you don't already know, I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,

everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for

your life and work in English. And today, we're.

Going to get deep into all of the different

conversations.

You might have where you'll need to ask clarifying questions.

There are a variety of reasons that we feel lost in a conversation.

There are reasons why we get confused and some of those are beyond our

control, but we always have that choice.

We have the choice to remain silent and say nothing and hope that.

No one knows we feel lost, or we can ask appropriate.

Questions and stay fully engaged in the conversation successfully.

That's what we're going to do today. In this lesson,

you're going to learn 13 ways to clarify when you're feeling

lost or when you don't understand someone in the conversation.

By the end, you'll be fully confident.

Asking those clarifying questions without any fear or embarrassment.

And you'll know that you successfully navigated the conversation.

To help us started.

Let's look quickly at the four different scenarios we're going to review

and why you may need clarification.

Scenario number one,

what kinds of questions should you ask when someone's opinion isn't

clear? Scenario number two. What to say.

When someone's thoughts aren't clearly connected.

Maybe they are sharing a lot of details,

but there's no clear connection among them.

Scenario number three, what to say when you need more details. And finally,

scenario number four, what to say when you're feeling lost in the conversation,

either because a new word or phrase was used,

or the topic is just unfamiliar to you. In each scenario,

we're going to talk about effective strategies and the right questions to use.

So let's get into scenario number one.

What to say when someone's opinion, isn't clear.

We've all been in conversations when someone begins to respond to a

question and they share a variety of details,

but in the end you still don't know what they think.

You still don't know which side of the issue they're on or what their

opinion really is.

When you don't know where someone stands on an issue.

The best way to clarify is to highlight what you heard and

confirm your understanding.

Here are a few example questions that will help you do that.

If I understood you correctly, you're saying that...,

And then you'll paraphrase or state.

What you think.

Their opinion is in your own words. And then you can finish with, am I correct?

Another question: you made an interesting point about...,

And then insert the detail and continue with.

So do you believe that...,

And then insert the opinion that you understand them to have.

And I'll give you a clear example of this in a moment.

A third clarifying question that you can use is to summarize what you're

saying is, and then again,

insert what you understand or what you think their opinion is. And finally,

a last question you can use is it sounds like you disagree with this

statement, or it sounds like you agree with this statement, is that right?

Now that we have those examples of clarifying questions,

let's look at it in context, let's look at a real situation.

Imagine you're having a conversation with team members about a recent company

update.

And one of them isn't very clear about her opinion

on the update. Here's what you could say.

You made an interesting point about the disadvantages of changing this company

policy.

So do you think the policy should remain the same and they shouldn't make any

changes? In that example,

I'm restating what I heard that individual say,

and I'm asking them about the opinion I think they have.

In doing that. I'm also asking them to clarify their position.

And now let's move on to scenario number two,

what to say when someone else's thoughts or details,

aren't clearly connected and you really don't understand what they're trying to

say. When that happens and you feel lost,

the reality is others in the room probably feel the same way.

And it is the speaker who is responsible for making their points

clear.

So some great clarifying questions you could ask to help them do that.

Are.

Could you explain how.

A and B are related to each other? Or.

Could you explain how.

Insert a specific detail and insert another detail

are related to each other question? Number two,

I didn't really catch the main point. Can you.

Tell me how A is related to B? Or can you tell.

Me how these two things are connected?

Or a third option is can I ask for some clarification? Would you.

Mind explaining how A.

Is connected to B? When we ask those kinds of questions,

we're actually doing the speaker a favor. Again,

if you're feeling lost others in the room are probably feeling that way as well.

And when we communicate, of course, we want to express ourselves clearly.

We want others to be on the same page.

When we ask these clarifying questions,

we're giving the speaker the opportunity to be clear.

Let me show you how this works in an example.

Suppose you're in a book club and someone isn't clearly.

Explaining how a character relates to the theme of the book.

In that situation, you could say, I didn't quite catch the main point.

How does the theme of darkness connect back to this character? Now,

before we move on to scenario three.

I know that you might be thinking, but Annemarie,

isn't that a little rude or.

Will I be telling them that they're wrong? And again, absolutely not.

You're using perfectly polite, appropriate language,

and you're giving that speaker the opportunity to be understood.

That is a great thing to do.

Now let's move on to scenario number three.

What to ask when you just need more details.

I'm sure that you've been in conversations when a speaker's.

Opinion or their idea is really.

Vague. There's a lack of clarity,

a lack of detail there.

And when someone's idea or opinion is vague,

it can lead to confusion or even frustration.

So when we need more details, we need something more concrete,

here are some great clarifying questions to use.

I'd like to understand your thoughts further. Could you tell me more about...?

Number two.

I like your ideas on that. Could you give me more.

Details on...? And number three, those are some interesting points.

Could you expand on the details? Again,

let's look at how this might work in a real life situation.

Imagine you're talking to a doctor who recommends a particular medication,

but kind of glosses over or is very vague about the potential side

effects.

If you're going to take some medication or someone love is going to do

that, you want to know all the details.

So a great way to do that is ask for the details. And here's how you can,

I'd like to understand your thoughts further.

Could you tell me a bit more about the possible side effects and how those might

be managed?

And now let's finish up with scenario four on what to say when you're

feeling lost, because the topic is unfamiliar.

Or maybe a word.

Or phrase that someone used is new to you.

And these are very similar to the questions I asked my student in our

conversation about genomes and DNA. In any conversation,

a speaker might be very clear about their opinion

and the details,

but it's just a topic that you're unfamiliar with,

or you've not learned that particular vocabulary. When that's the case,

i's always best to ask.

I know there's the temptation to stay silent, but in doing that,

you lose an opportunity,

an opportunity to learn and stay engaged in the conversation.

So here are a few great questions to ask, to get the clarification you need.

I apologize. I haven't heard that word before.

I haven't heard that phrase before.

Could you tell me what you mean by....

And that is very similar to what I used in my conversation with a student.

She was talking about a very specific term that I had never seen or heard

before; I was totally unfamiliar with it.

So I needed to ask her what she meant by it. A second question you can ask is,

uh, just to clarify what does ____ mean,

and you would simply repeat the word or phrase, what does _____ mean?

And finally, a third option is to simply state, sorry,

I'm not so familiar with this topic. Could you tell me more about it?

And if you've been in one of my classes with me, you know,

that there's another phrase I love to use in those situations.

I also like to say, explain it to me like I'm five.

Explain it to me like I'm a five-year-old child.

Sometimes we just need it to be extremely simple.

And when it is.

Everything's clear and we can totally be involved in the conversation. Now.

That you have a variety of strategies and clarifying questions.

To use when you don't understand someone or things just

aren't clear, let's do a bit of practice. I have two questions for you,

and I want you to use what you've learned today to think about how you would

respond and request clarification. So question number one,

imagine you're in a book club or a podcast club,

and someone is sharing their thoughts about the book or podcast.

And you just don't see.

The connections. You're not really sure what she's trying say.

How could you request clarification and question number

two,

what would you ask if your coworker gives very little

explanation about why there need to be some changes to a project that you're

working on? You get that there's a request for changes,

but you're not really sure why you're unclear on the details.

How could you ask for clarification?

You can share your answers with me in the comments below.

If you found today's lesson useful to you. I would love to know.

And you can tell me in one very simple way,

give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube. And while you're at it,

subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.

So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.

Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to seeing you next time.