Best FIRST MESSAGE to Send on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge
Summary
TLDRIn this video, online dating coach Louis Farfields shares the results of an experiment comparing three types of text openers. The 'Peasant' opener with generic greetings had a 18% response rate, while 'Copy-Paste' pickup lines doubled that to 37%. However, 'Personalized' openers, which involve the match's photos or bio, achieved a remarkable 72% response rate with longer conversations. Louis offers three steps to craft effective openers, emphasizing humor, commonalities, and avoiding common traps like originality and thirst traps. He also addresses how to handle profiles with minimal information, encouraging viewers to personalize their approach for better success in online dating.
Takeaways
- 📊 The experiment categorized openers into three types: 'The Peasant', 'Copy Paste', and 'Personalized', with each type having a different response rate.
- 📉 'The Peasant' openers, like 'Hey' or 'How are you?', had the lowest response rate at 18%.
- 📈 'Copy Paste' openers, using pickup lines, doubled the response rate to about 37%.
- 🏆 'Personalized' openers, which involved the user's photos, bio, or prompts, achieved the highest response rate of 72% and led to longer conversations.
- 👤 Personalizing your openers is crucial for better engagement and response rates on dating apps.
- 🚫 Avoid common pitfalls like 'thirst traps' and overused pickup lines, which can be off-putting to potential matches.
- 🔍 Pay attention to details in a user's profile that others might overlook to craft a unique and engaging opener.
- 😄 Good openers often involve teasing, humor, or finding common ground to create a connection.
- 📝 The script provides examples of effective personalized openers and how they can lead to more engaging conversations.
- 💡 For profiles with minimal information, the advice is to call out the lack of content in a playful manner, shifting the responsibility back to the recipient.
- 💌 The video offers a 'clickbait opener' as a blend of copy-paste and personalized elements, which can be accessed via a newsletter sign-up.
Q & A
What are the three categories of openers mentioned in the script?
-The three categories of openers are The Peasant opener, the Copy Paste openers, and the Personalized opener.
What was the response rate for The Peasant opener in the experiment?
-The Peasant opener had a response rate of 18%.
How did the Copy Paste openers perform in comparison to The Peasant opener?
-The Copy Paste openers performed twice as well as The Peasant opener, with a response rate of about 37%.
What was the surprising result found with the Personalized opener?
-The Personalized opener had a significantly higher response rate of 72% and was also noticed to lead to longer conversations.
What is the main reason behind conducting the experiment on openers?
-The main reason was to convince the audience to start personalizing their openers and to show them how to do it effectively.
What are the three steps to writing the best first message according to the script?
-The three steps are: 1) Avoid traps, 2) Notice what others don't, and 3) Tease, use humor, and find commonalities.
What are some examples of traps that most men fall into when messaging women?
-Examples of traps include the Originality trap, where men use lines that feel original but are commonly used, and the Thirst trap, where men react inappropriately to provocative photos or bios.
What is the importance of avoiding the Thirst trap when messaging on dating apps?
-Avoiding the Thirst trap is important because it prevents men from appearing overly eager or disrespectful, which can be a turn-off for women.
How can one notice details in a woman's profile that others might miss?
-One can notice these details by calmly and carefully examining her photos, bio, and prompts, looking for things to relate to or that stand out.
What is the significance of teasing, humor, and commonalities in crafting a good opener?
-Teasing, humor, and commonalities are significant because they can make the opener engaging and more likely to elicit a response, creating a connection right from the start.
What is the advice given for dealing with profiles that have minimal information?
-The advice is to not overthink it and instead send a message that calls out the lack of information in a playful way, outsourcing the overthinking back to the woman.
What is the bonus technique mentioned for opening messages to profiles with only selfies and no bio?
-The bonus technique involves sending a message that acknowledges the minimal profile and challenges the woman to engage in a conversation, using humor to lighten the tone.
Outlines
📱 Effective Openers for Online Dating
The speaker, Louis Farfields, an online dating coach, discusses the importance of crafting the perfect first message in online dating. He categorizes openers into three types: 'The Peasant', which are generic and boring; 'Copy Paste', which are pickup lines; and 'Personalized', which involve the recipient's photos, bio, or prompts. Through an experiment, he found that personalized openers had a 72% response rate and led to longer conversations. Louis then provides three steps to create effective openers: avoiding common traps, noticing details others overlook, and using humor or commonalities to connect. He also addresses how to handle profiles with minimal information, suggesting a light-hearted approach to prompt engagement.
🔍 Addressing Profiles with Minimal Information
In the second paragraph, Louis continues his advice on online dating, focusing on how to approach profiles with limited information, such as those consisting only of selfies without a bio. He emphasizes not taking on the responsibility for the lack of effort by the profile owner and suggests a playful yet direct approach to initiate conversation. Louis also promotes his dating coaching program, inviting viewers to work with him personally to improve their dating lives. The paragraph concludes with testimonials from individuals who have benefited from his coaching, highlighting the positive outcomes they've experienced.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Openers
💡Response Rate
💡Personalized Opener
💡Peasant Opener
💡Copy Paste Openers
💡Conversation Duration
💡Traps
💡Originality Trap
💡Thirst Trap
💡Tease
💡Commonalities
Highlights
Conducted an experiment with 603 openers to determine the best approach for texting a match.
Categorized openers into three types: The Peasant, Copy Paste, and Personalized Openers.
The Peasant openers had the lowest response rate at 18%.
Copy paste openers had a response rate of 37%, twice as effective as The Peasant openers.
Personalized openers achieved a 72% response rate and led to longer conversations.
Personalized openers are recommended for their high success rate in engaging matches.
Provides three steps to write an effective first message.
Avoid common pitfalls such as original traps, thirst traps, and copy paste openers.
Original traps involve lines that feel unique but are commonly used by others.
Thirst traps are still considered traps and should be avoided in opening messages.
Details from photos and bios are key to crafting personalized openers.
Teasing, humor, and finding commonalities are effective in creating engaging openers.
Examples of good openers include light teasing and shared interests.
A 50/50 personalized and copy-paste opener can be an effective strategy.
Encourages viewers to share their best openers in the comments for feedback.
Addresses the challenge of profiles with minimal information and suggests a direct approach.
Offers a program to work personally with the coach on dating goals.
Shares success stories from participants of the dating coaching program.
Transcripts
I have sent 603 openers to find the best
opener because I wanted to find out
which are the exact best words to text
your match we've organized all openers
in three categories first you have
anything boring like hey how are you
doing how's your day going a text got we
call this The Peasant opener second are
the copy paste openers and for this
experiment we used all the copy pastable
pickup lines from our many blog posts
and third is the personalized opener
this means you're going to involve her
photos her bio or her prompts I've seen
the results and they were shocking The
Peasant opener no surprise performed
worst how bad exactly well a meager 18%
response rate then there's the copy
paste openers they performed twice as
well which is still only good for about
37% response rate in comes the
personalized opener and this is where
things get juicy not only did we get a
whopping 72% response rate we also
noticed that conversations opened with a
person personalized opener lasted way
longer I did this experiment because I
want to convince you to start
personalizing your openers and I'm going
to show you exactly how to do that right
now you'll get three easy steps to write
the best first message possible with
tons of screenshot examples along the
way and as a bonus towards the end of
the video I'll give a technique that you
can use to open those really annoying
profiles of really hot girls with just a
bunch of selfies and no bio so stay
tuned to find out more he by the way if
you're new here my name is Louis
farfields online dating coach and today
we get some help from my friend Megan
hello step one avoid traps the first key
to success is to understand the female's
perspective because besides peasant
openers and copypaste openers there are
some traps that most men walk straight
into and women hate it first there's the
original trap those are the lines that
feel original but every other guy had
the same idea remember Joy she has some
lines that she hears all all the time
too so I use that to my advantage when
opening her and so when I met Sue I
maneuvered around the originality trap
like this one I'll try my best not to
make Sumi jokes you're tired of them
aren't you and two you are 100% not malt
two things one I actually haven't heard
one in a while so not too Dreadful but
making one is not a Golden Ticket two I
am 100% malti close enough this also
means don't send tars and jokes to Jane
don't ask your match Alexa to play
despacito and definitely don't tell
Megan that when you hear me you think a
Family Guy does that actually happen
often gigg gigg it happens all the time
the second trap is the thirst trap guys
I'm sure you're all familiar with thirst
traps but a thirst repap is still a trap
and the only correct way to handle a
trap is not running into it you don't
react to this photo and you ignore this
bio so to summarize step one by avoiding
peasant openers pickup lines and thirst
reps you you've already beaten most of
your competition but you haven't
impressed the girl yet so let's do that
right now step two notice what others
don't the trick here is to calm down and
really have a good look at her photos
have a good look at her bio have a good
look at her prompts see anything you
like anything you can relate to or
anything things that you dislike and the
guys that do well on dating apps are the
guys that pick out details from photos
that most men just ignore let me show
you exactly how to do that in Step
number three step three tease humor and
commonalities now let's look at examples
of good openers and there are many good
ways to hook a girl straight from the
start but we noticed that almost all
good openers either tease her make her
laugh or connect over commonalities
often times it's good enough to just hit
one of these feelings psychology student
so yes I'm analyzing you hey analyze me
Sarah I dare you also hi you're up late
yes I am and it's a bit too soon for the
analys but you seem to be confident
easygoing and maybe a bit arrogant I go
crazy for cookies chocolate chip or
oatmeal raisin one is clearly Superior o
you're not going to like my answer I'm
the odd person to love oatmeal cookies
oh [ __ ] yes oatmeal raisin is far
superior to any other cookie but they
have to be soft not
hard where do you get yours anything fun
planned for the weekend cool there we go
by the way there's one opener that is
50% copy paste and 50% personalized and
that is my clickbait opener you can get
access to the clickbait opener for free
by hopping on my newsletter check the
video
description pockets on girl jeans are
just never big enough eh they were a
little tight
okay okay Quick Test you open this one
with a personalized opener 5 4 3 2 1 I
can only see one red flag so far so off
to a good start yeah it's all down here
from here by the way were actually
curious what you came up with write your
best opener in the comments below
there's one mistake that many men keep
making and dating and that is this she
has a profile with nothing but selfies
she refused to fill in a bio she has
been a lazy girl while making her
profile so if that's the case then why
are you the one overthinking something
great to say the problem was caused by
her so don't make it your problem that's
why you send her a message like this
that's a very minimal profile Sarah
making a man struggle to start a smooth
convo huh haha unintentional naughtiness
yours is pretty short too good job you
called her out while Outsourcing all the
overthinking back to her by the way
we're opening new spots in our program
to work with me personally on your
dating goals if that's something you'd
like hop on a call with us by filling
out the form you can find in a video
description give it a try worst case you
lose 30 minutes best case you change
your dating life forever just like all
these guys did one of the girls that
I've been like messaging dude we had a
DAT and it went awesome we clicked right
away awesome chemistry
thank you man because like um when I
started like following you and like
implementing you know like your advice
and stuff dude crazy results man crazy
results see you later
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