Is Your Anger Depression or Anxiety?

Summary

Dr. Christy Lam, a board-certified psychiatrist and psychotherapist, offers insights into distinguishing between healthy anger and depressive irritability. She explains that anger is a physiological response to environmental stimuli, while depressive irritability is pervasive and can be a defensive mechanism. Dr. Lam suggests that recognizing disproportionate responses and underlying symptoms of anxiety or depression can help identify irritability's root cause. She encourages self-reflection to discern the true source of frustration and to address it appropriately, rather than acting out of guilt or perpetuating depression.

Takeaways

• 😡 Anger is a physiological response to environmental stimuli, signaling that something is not okay and may require setting boundaries.
• 😖 Depressive irritability is a pervasive feeling of annoyance that can be defensive over anger and is not clearly linked to a specific stimulus.
• 🤔 Differentiating between anger and depressive irritability involves assessing if the irritation is out of proportion to the stimulus and if it's pervasive.
• 😕 Signs of irritable depression or anxiety may include ruminating thoughts, isolation, self-attack, withdrawing, and feeling numb except when irritable.
• 🔍 To understand the cause of irritability, it's important to check in with oneself to identify the actual source of frustration rather than the immediate trigger.
• 💪 Recognizing genuine anger can be empowering, motivating one to set boundaries and ensure needs are met.
• 😟 The discharge of irritability in the face of depression or anxiety can sometimes lead to guilt, which can perpetuate depression.
• 🧘‍♂️ Self-awareness is crucial when feeling irritable; it can guide one to calm the nervous system and address underlying issues.
• 🤝 Understanding the difference between anger and depressive irritability can improve interpersonal relationships by managing reactions more effectively.
• 🌟 The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and addressing the root causes of emotional responses for better mental health.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Christy Lam's video?

The main topic of Dr. Christy Lam's video is differentiating between real feelings of anger and depressive irritability.

How does Dr. Lam define anger as an emotion?

Dr. Lam defines anger as a physiological experience in the body, triggered by a stimulus in the environment, characterized by sensations of heat in the chest, energy and power in the limbs, and sometimes a furrowed brow or clenched jaw.

What is depressive irritability according to the video?

Depressive irritability is a pervasive feeling of annoyance at everyone and everything, sometimes defensive over anger, and can be a response to grief or sadness.

How can we identify if our irritability is due to depressive or anxious feelings?

We can identify depressive or anxious irritability by its pervasiveness and if the response is out of proportion to the stimulus, indicating an underlying issue rather than a direct reaction to a specific event.

What is one sign that irritability might be a symptom of defensive depression?

One sign is that the irritability is pervasive, affecting the person's reactions to a wide range of situations, rather than being linked to a specific stimulus.

Why might someone with depressive or anxious feelings react out of proportion to a stimulus?

They might react out of proportion because they are trying to create external order or demand it due to feeling chaotic inside, or they are externalizing their internal chaos onto others.

What are some underlying symptoms of depression or anxiety that could indicate irritability is not just anger?

Underlying symptoms could include ruminating thoughts, isolation, self-attack, withdrawing, and feelings of numbness, except when the irritability is displayed.

How can one determine if their irritability is a genuine expression of anger or a symptom of depression or anxiety?

By checking in with oneself, identifying the actual stimulus of the frustration, and assessing whether there is a need to set a boundary or if there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

What is the difference between the empowering feeling of anger and the discharge of irritability in depression or anxiety?

Empowering anger moves us to set boundaries and get our needs met, while the discharge of irritability in depression or anxiety can lead to guilt and perpetuate feelings of depression.

Why is it important for someone who is irritable to check in with themselves and understand their feelings?

It is important to understand the underlying cause of irritability to take better self-care measures and address the root issue, whether it is genuine anger that needs boundary setting or an emotional state that requires calming and introspection.

What advice does Dr. Lam give for dealing with irritability that is not rooted in anger?

Dr. Lam advises to look inward, get clear about what is causing the irritability, and then try to move forward in a different way, addressing the underlying emotional state rather than just the outward expression of irritability.