When Our ‘Feelings’ Become Our God | Khutbah Highlight | Nouman Ali Khan | Dublin, Ireland

Summary

The speaker explores the shift in how psychological terms are used in modern society, suggesting that concepts like self-care, boundaries, and gaslighting are often misapplied or weaponized. He argues that while psychology is a valuable field, it has sometimes replaced religious and philosophical approaches to dealing with emotional struggles, leading to a focus on self-gratification. He emphasizes the importance of faith in navigating life's challenges and warns against judging others' hearts based on popular psychological labels, urging a return to principles rooted in religious teachings.

Takeaways

• 😊 **Psychology's Evolution**: The speaker discusses how psychology has evolved and sometimes undermines traditional experiences by reframing negative behavior as self-care or boundary-setting.
• 🤔 **Misuse of Psychological Terms**: Popular psychology, especially on social media, leads to the misuse of terms like 'narcissism,' 'gaslighting,' and 'toxic' without proper understanding.
• 💡 **Impact on Religion**: The rise of psychology has replaced religion and philosophy as sources of guidance for emotional difficulties, which can remove God from the equation.
• 📚 **Psychology as a Science**: Psychology is a complex and diverse field with many subfields, yet its purpose can be compromised when disconnected from spiritual guidance.
• 🔍 **Misdiagnosis and Pop Psychology**: The speaker criticizes how non-experts popularize and oversimplify psychological concepts, leading to widespread misdiagnosis and misunderstanding.
• ⚖️ **Balancing Emotions with Faith**: Islam teaches that faith should guide individuals through negative emotions and traumatic experiences, rather than solely relying on psychological concepts.
• 🔄 **Reconciliation in Islam**: The speaker emphasizes that Islam advocates for reconciliation and forgiveness, even in difficult family situations, instead of labeling and distancing.
• 🛑 **Judging Hearts in Islam**: Islam forbids judging the state of another person’s heart, a practice that has become common in modern psychology when labeling people with terms like 'narcissist.'
• 🎯 **Emotions as a False God**: The speaker warns against allowing emotions to become a 'god,' leading to misguided actions and judgments without spiritual guidance.
• 🌟 **Guidance Through Faith**: True guidance in dealing with life’s difficulties comes from maintaining faith in Allah, which helps navigate emotions and experiences.

Q & A

What does the speaker identify as a shift in how certain behaviors are perceived in modern society?

The speaker notes that behaviors once considered arrogant are now labeled as self-care, and what was once seen as bad behavior is now called drawing boundaries. Similarly, telling someone a harsh truth might now be labeled as gaslighting.

How does the speaker describe the impact of psychology on traditional ways of dealing with emotional difficulties?

The speaker argues that before psychology, people turned to religion or philosophy to address emotional difficulties. With the rise of psychology, these spiritual and philosophical approaches were gradually replaced by a focus on understanding oneself through psychological methods, which the speaker suggests removes God from the equation.

What concern does the speaker express about the popularization of psychology through social media?

The speaker is concerned that unqualified individuals on social media, with large followings, are oversimplifying and misrepresenting psychological concepts, leading to widespread self-diagnosis and misuse of terms like 'narcissist' and 'toxic,' even within the Muslim community.

What does the speaker say about the misuse of psychological terms within the Muslim community?

The speaker highlights that terms like 'gaslighting,' 'toxic,' and 'narcissist' are being misused within the Muslim community, often to label family members and justify distancing oneself from them, which the speaker believes contradicts Islamic teachings on family relationships.

How does the speaker contrast the teachings of the Quran with modern psychological practices?

The speaker contrasts modern psychological practices, which often encourage self-care and boundary-setting at the expense of relationships, with Quranic teachings that emphasize patience, forgiveness, and maintaining family ties, even in difficult situations.

What does the speaker suggest is the proper way to deal with traumatic experiences according to the Quran?

The speaker suggests that according to the Quran, one should face traumatic experiences with faith, believing that Allah will guide their heart through negative emotions. This process strengthens one’s Iman (faith), which is the greatest asset a person can have.

What example does the speaker use to illustrate how prophets dealt with difficult family relationships?

The speaker references the Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) and his difficult relationship with his father. Despite being expelled from his home, Ibrahim remained respectful and prayed for his father's forgiveness, rather than labeling him as toxic or cutting him off.

What criticism does the speaker offer regarding the use of judgmental labels in modern psychology?

The speaker criticizes the modern trend of labeling people with terms like 'narcissist' or 'toxic,' arguing that these labels are judgments of a person’s heart, which Islam does not allow. The speaker warns against the casual and unjustifiable use of such labels.

How does the speaker view the role of emotions in guiding behavior according to the Quran?

The speaker warns against letting emotions guide behavior, as this can lead to misguidance. The speaker cites a Quranic verse that describes people who turn their desires into their gods, suggesting that such individuals become misguided because they replace Allah with their own feelings.

What final advice does the speaker offer regarding the understanding and application of psychological concepts?

The speaker advises against misdiagnosing oneself or others with psychological labels without proper knowledge. They emphasize the importance of not allowing pop psychology to undermine family relationships and faith, urging people to be cautious with the use of psychological terms.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 Shifting Perspectives in Psychology and Self-Care

The paragraph discusses how modern psychology has transformed certain behaviors and attitudes. What was once considered arrogance or harshness is now often rebranded as self-care or boundary-setting. This shift is seen as problematic because it can undermine significant life experiences and essential truths, as people prioritize feeling good over facing difficult realities. The text also hints at a broader critique of how psychological terms like gaslighting are used to label and dismiss valid criticisms.

05:02

😌 The Influence of Pop Psychology on Perception

This paragraph expands on the impact of popular psychology, which often simplifies complex psychological concepts and uses them to explain away uncomfortable truths. It argues that terms like narcissism and toxicity are weaponized to dismiss people who challenge others' comfort or happiness. This trend, the author suggests, can lead to a superficial understanding of psychological issues and a departure from deeper spiritual or religious principles.

10:02

💡 Lessons from Religious Figures on Handling Conflict

The paragraph draws parallels between the experiences of religious figures, such as prophets, and modern psychological concepts like trauma and toxicity. It highlights how these figures faced severe trials and interpersonal conflicts with faith and patience rather than labeling others with psychological terms. The text contrasts this approach with the modern tendency to distance oneself from difficult relationships under the guise of self-care, suggesting a return to more forgiving and compassionate responses.

15:03

🌱 Encouraging Reconciliation over Judgment in Family Conflicts

This paragraph explores how to handle conflicts within families, emphasizing forgiveness and reconciliation over judgment and distancing. It critiques the popular psychological approach of labeling family members as toxic or abusive, suggesting instead that even in extreme cases, there is room for forgiveness and turning the page. The text underscores the importance of managing conflicts with patience, kindness, and faith, in line with religious teachings.

20:04

📖 The Value of Deep Quranic Study

The final paragraph shifts focus to promoting the study of the Quran. It highlights the extensive resources available for those interested in deepening their understanding of the Quran, encouraging readers to engage in organized study rather than relying on scattered online content. The paragraph underscores the importance of integrating Quranic learning into daily life, positioning it as a continuous journey for both individuals and families.

Keywords

💡Self-care

Self-care refers to the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, well-being, and happiness. In the video, it is discussed how the concept of self-care has been reinterpreted in modern psychology, sometimes being used to justify behavior that might traditionally be seen as selfish or arrogant. The speaker suggests that the term can be misused to excuse avoiding responsibilities or difficult truths.

💡Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological term that describes a form of manipulation where a person is made to doubt their own reality or perception. In the video, the speaker explains how this term has become popularized and sometimes misused in everyday language, leading people to dismiss legitimate criticism or harsh truths as manipulation, thereby undermining genuine communication and self-reflection.

💡Boundaries

Boundaries in psychology refer to limits that individuals set in relationships to protect their personal space, emotions, and values. The video critiques how the concept of boundaries is sometimes overemphasized in modern discourse, potentially leading to avoidance of necessary, albeit uncomfortable, interactions or responsibilities under the guise of maintaining personal well-being.

💡Trauma

Trauma refers to the emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. The video discusses how the recognition of trauma is important, but also warns against the over-diagnosis or misuse of the term in everyday situations, which can lead to an avoidance of personal growth and a misunderstanding of life’s challenges as purely negative experiences.

💡Psychology

Psychology is the scientific study of the mind and behavior. The video contrasts the traditional role of religion and philosophy in dealing with emotional and psychological issues with the modern dominance of psychology, emphasizing how psychology, without a moral or spiritual framework, can sometimes lead to self-centeredness and misinterpretation of key life experiences.

💡Social media

Social media refers to online platforms that allow users to create and share content or participate in social networking. In the video, social media is discussed as a space where simplified and sometimes inaccurate interpretations of psychological concepts proliferate, leading to widespread misconceptions and self-diagnosis by unqualified individuals.

💡Faith (Iman)

Faith, or Iman in Islamic terms, refers to a deep belief in Allah and the principles of Islam. The video emphasizes the importance of maintaining faith in the face of life’s challenges, suggesting that true guidance and emotional resilience come from holding onto faith during difficult times, rather than solely relying on psychological explanations or labels.

💡Narcissism

Narcissism is a psychological condition characterized by excessive self-love, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. The video addresses how the term has become popular in casual conversations, often being used to label people in a way that dismisses their behavior as inherently selfish or toxic, without considering the complexity of human interactions.

💡Pop psychology

Pop psychology refers to psychological concepts and terminology that have been simplified and popularized for a general audience, often through media and social networks. The video critiques the rise of pop psychology, noting how it can lead to the spread of oversimplified or incorrect ideas about mental health, which can be damaging when used to judge oneself or others.

💡Islamic perspective on adversity

The Islamic perspective on adversity is the belief that life’s challenges and hardships are tests from Allah, meant to strengthen one’s faith and character. The video discusses how Islam encourages believers to face difficulties with patience and faith, rather than avoiding them or mislabeling them as purely negative experiences. This contrasts with some modern psychological approaches that prioritize emotional comfort over spiritual growth.

Highlights

The speaker discusses the shift in perception where behaviors like arrogance are now often rebranded as self-care, and how boundaries are drawn in ways that may undermine important life experiences.

Psychology has become a major influence in understanding ourselves, replacing religion and philosophy as the primary methods people used to cope with emotional challenges.

Psychology aims to explore the self, but often removes God from the equation, which the speaker believes can lead to misguided understandings and practices.

Pop psychology, especially through social media, has led to the spread of simplified, sometimes misleading concepts, with unqualified individuals gaining large followings despite lacking deep expertise.

The misuse of psychological terms like 'narcissist,' 'toxic,' and 'gaslighting' has become common, even among the Muslim community, which the speaker argues can lead to unjust judgments and harm.

The speaker highlights that Islamic teachings encourage facing traumatic experiences with faith rather than avoiding them, emphasizing that guidance comes from enduring difficulties with trust in God.

Prophets in Islam experienced severe trials, yet they dealt with these challenges without resorting to labeling others as toxic or narcissistic, instead showing compassion and maintaining their faith.

The speaker warns against using psychological labels to judge others' hearts, which is forbidden in Islam, emphasizing that only God knows what is in someone's heart.

The speaker explains that true faith (Iman) helps guide the heart through negative emotions and traumatic experiences, which is a core teaching in the Quran.

Modern pop psychology is critiqued for promoting self-centeredness by encouraging individuals to prioritize their feelings over reason and religious principles.

Islamic teachings provide solutions for handling conflicts and emotional challenges, encouraging forgiveness, patience, and maintaining relationships rather than severing ties hastily.

The speaker contrasts the approach of pop psychology, which often advocates for drawing boundaries and walking away from difficult situations, with the Quran's emphasis on reconciliation and forgiveness.

There is a concern that pop psychology leads to a culture where people worship their own feelings instead of God, which the speaker sees as a significant spiritual danger.

Islamic teachings stress that suffering and hardship are tests of faith, and enduring them with trust in God is essential for spiritual growth.

The speaker concludes by urging caution in using psychological terms without proper understanding and encourages aligning psychological practices with Islamic principles.

Transcripts

what used to be arrogance can now be

called self-care what used to be bad can

now be called drawing a boundary what

used to you know what used to be telling

you know somebody's telling you a harsh

truth

what meaning you're telling somebody a

truth that maybe they don't want to hear

but you need they need to hear it you

say this is this is gaslighting I'm

being gas lit so now what we do is we

take

psychology and we actually undermines

some of the most important experiences

in our lives because the biggest the

ultimate thing is I need to feel good

anything that gets in the way of me

feeling good is bad for my

[Music]

psychology but I wanted to turn this

conversation briefly towards something

else I wanted to turn it towards a new

science that took hold of the world in

the last 100 to 150 years and that's the

science of

psychology before psychology when a

human being experienced difficulty

emotionally they went through a tough

experience or they wanted to overcome

their sadness and their grief for

example right they would turn towards

religion before psychology or they would

turn towards philosophy because

philosophy asked the question what is

pain why is there suffering in the world

what is this world all about right

philosophers try to answer this question

so doesn't matter what religion people

turn towards religion to answer their

questions of the things that were

troubling them in their heart but then

philosophy and even the spiritual study

of psychology spirituality they

basically got replaced slowly with this

new thing we now call psychology and a

psychology is an attempt to understand

ourselves understand our deepest

thoughts understand our subconscious

understand our emotions understand other

people's behavior our own behavior right

you people go to a therapist and say why

do I get so angry all the time why can't

I stop crying you know why do people

treat me this way etc etc and you know

I'm a student of psychology myself and I

can tell you it's a very elaborate

science it's an exhaustive study there

are it's not just one subject it's

actually multiple departments social

psychology personality psychology

abnormal psychology these are worlds

within world within worlds and people

have dedicated entire academic careers

to exploring more and more areas of

psychology all of it by the way is

connected to Something in the Quran

Allah

said they'll we'll show them our ayat

inside themselves and what is psychology

doing it's an exploration of the self

that's what it is but it removes

fundamentally removes God from the

equation now the per you know like I

said science with without purpose can

give you chemical weapons can give you

addictive

drugs psychology with the removal of

purpose removal of Allah from the

equation what does it give you something

has to be there that is the ultimate

truth and for what ha what happened in

the world of psychology and what's even

crazier is not just in the academic

psychology with because of social media

something else happened before I get to

my observations and that is that in any

subject let's say

physics any subject let's say

mechanics there are people that actually

know mechanics they actually know

physics and those are professors and

phds and researchers but they don't have

a YouTube

page but there's an 18-year-old who's

read a couple of books on it and he's

got a 5 million followers on his YouTube

page and he's a much more popular you

know content producer on physics even

though some of his physics is a joke if

academics actually looked at his work

they'd say what is this but he's got

more followers because now you can

present content in a more interesting

way even if it's not well researched and

it will sound convincing right so what

happened with the world of psychology

there is phds and research and Analysis

and books and then there are people who

come up with their own content and

they'll come up and say let me tell you

what a narcissist is let me tell you

what a toxic person is let me tell you

how to draw boundaries let me tell you

if this let me tell you about trauma and

you've got these people that just

became self

diagnosing and now these terms became

popular among even the Muslim Community

now you have a young man saying you know

my father's so toxic he's always

gaslighting me I need to draw some

boundaries between myself and my dad

because he's really getting in my my

emotional space and I need some healing

and I need to have some self-care so

what used to be arrogance can now be

called self-care what used to be bad can

now be called drawing a boundary what

used to you know what used to be telling

you know somebody's telling you a harsh

truth what

the meaning you're telling somebody a

truth that maybe they don't want to hear

but you need they need to hear it you

say this is this is gaslighting I'm

being gas lit so now what we do is we

take

psychology and we actually undermine

some of the most important experiences

in our lives because the biggest the

ultimate thing is I need to feel good

anything that gets in the way of me

feeling good is bad for my

psychology it's so be the ultimate goal

is to keep yourself happy anything gets

in that way it's toxic it's narcissist

this person is narcissistic they're not

drawing their out boundary I'm being

triggered you're being

triggered what does the Quran say about

that what what happens when you have an

and by the way I'm not dismissing

somebody having a traumatic

experience I don't dismiss that there's

such a thing as narcissism these things

exist what I'm saying is we have turned

them into weaponized terms we don't even

understand them ourselves and it's

actually starting to impact the way we

think about our own religion our our our

CH we're not even contemplating how many

of these Concepts violate principles of

the Quran direct principles of the Quran

I'll just give you one example

in Allah said and this is what I recited

at the beginning of this but Allah

said whatever Calamity happened to you

whatever struck any any any kind of

Calamity that struck somebody got in a

car accident somebody got got diagnosed

with a disease somebody's family member

passed away somebody lost a job somebody

got into a fight with their spouse and

they're getting divorced somebody you

know walked ran away from home somebody

you know they they they don't want to

deal with their family anymore so they

blocked every number and now they're

just gone forever you have a brother

that doesn't talk to you doesn't won't

pick up your calls won't respond to your

text messages you have a son who hates

your guts you have a you have a a mother

who just walked away from the family it

happens there's people experience

different kinds of calamities in

life the first thing Allah says no no

nothing struck anyone ever except that

Allah allowed that to happen number one

but then the question is why did Allah

allow something so terrible to happen

why would that happen and Allah says

sometimes in this Ayah there are many

ayat on this but this Ayah Allah teaches

us a powerful lesson he

says whoever truly has faith in Allah

Allah will guide that person's heart

Allah will guide their heart now what is

Allah saying Allah is saying my heart

feels anxiety my heart feels anger my

heart feels sadness my heart feels

frustration my heart feels this person

got away with something they should they

deserve justice they got away with it my

heart feels that it's it was unfair my

heart feels unrest my heart feels all of

these things but if I have IM in Allah

Allah will guide my heart through these

negative

emotions actually some of those negative

experiences are a test of my Iman and if

I do have IM Allah will guide my

heart in other words I'm supposed to go

through through some of these difficult

experiences to truly experience guidance

I have to go and this will be the way my

IM gets secured and Iman is the greatest

asset a human being can have because on

Judgment Day the only thing that

matters the only people nothing will be

of any benefit except people who come

before Allah and they have a good heart

and the only way to have a good heart is

to have IM in that heart and the only

way they have IM in that heart is Allah

will guide that heart and the only way

that heart to to be guided is to go

through a tough experience and hold on

to your faith anyway and not let that be

that be shaken and you stay the

court so this is this is a remarkable

thing Allah has said in this Ayah Allah

is telling us to face a traumatic

experience to face it to deal with it

but deal with it with faith and not let

it change

you and this is why the best people the

best people that ever lived the prophets

themselves

every one of them are victims of trauma

if you want to use psychological terms

every one of them were surrounded by

toxic

people every one of them had their

boundaries crossed every one of them

every last one of them had to experience

narcissism isn't it didn't ibraim Alam

have a toxic father didn't yfam have

narcissistic Brothers didn't they

you know isn't he a victim of family

abuse wasn't he being gaslit when he was

being called a

thief isn't this what was happening to

them even ibraim Alam when he's being

expelled from his own

home you know he turns back to his

father and he

uses he turn my my beloved

father he turns to his father and says

Dad I still love you you may not be good

to me but that doesn't mean I will no

longer longer be good to you and I'll

still pray for you to be

forgiven I'll I'll I'll pray for you

still I I you know cuz maybe Allah will

turn your heart I can't do anything

about it I have to leave now that's okay

but I still care about you he doesn't

say you know what you are a narcissist

you are a toxic person I'm glad now

there's a distance between us I need to

keep you away from my own personal

healing this is not his attitude

this is not his approach what we have

done is we have created and the these

judgments these these

labels they are against the fundamental

teachings of our Dean and I'll leave you

one last one last especially within our

families okay somebody you could have a

argument between husband and wife

happens okay don't raise your hand but

if you have an argument husband and wife

and one of you says you know you're so

you're such an abuser you're such a

gaslighter instead of what does the dean

tell us to

say Allah

says that uh uh tell my servants say

something that is better and more

beautiful because Shan will try to cause

friction between you chaos between you

Discord between you if there's an

argument happening and you hear

something painful you could respond with

something that will make things worse

you can also respond with something that

can change the direction of the

conversation towards something better

Allah is not telling you to walk away

from the conversation Allah is telling

you to deal with the conversation if the

conversation is completely out of hand

Allah is

saying when when the ignorant address

them they walk away peacefully they say

peace they don't walk away stormed out

they walk away

peacefully but in this ay in I learned

something I was fascinated by being a

student of psychology I was fascinated

by it

those of you who believe some among your

children and among your spouses there

may be enemies for

you this is in Medina the Surah was

revealed in Medina s alhi wasallam was

living among the Jewish and Christian

tribes and he was also among many among

the Muslims were actually leading

towards n they were leading towards

hypocrisy and you don't know in your

family who really has IM who doesn't

there was a mix and Allah is that now

the prophet wasam says get ready for bad

or get ready for and some family memb

saying why are you going to get yourself

killed stay home just tell them you got

sick just just I'll just say you were

you

overslept tell them later and they're

trying to hold you back they're trying

to you know cuz they they don't want

them to go why do you have to go every

morning at fuder can you just stay you

know and they're having these

conversations and Allah tells him that

there may be among you so people that

the family is so extreme that they might

even be enemies for you that extreme I

mean you don't use this Ayah and go home

and say now I know what you are to

me it's not this is an extreme case

these are extreme cases the wordu is not

used lightly in the Quran okay but this

is the extreme case fine an extreme case

can exist an extreme case where your own

spouse and your own children according

to Allah are what an enemy what do you

do in the extreme case well what you do

from the pop psychology perspective the

Instagram psychologist can tell you what

you do in such extreme cases is you draw

some boundaries and you walk away and

you heal yourself and you you know

declare them abusers and all all this

stuff and what does the Quran say

okay and if you can forgive if you can

overl look you can cover their mistakes

okay at one point they became really

aggressive but now they're really sorry

about that you know don't bring it up

again means to turn the page from Turn

the Page you know what that means I

remember what you did last year you

remember I still remember those words do

you remember what you

said that's not

I'm still traumatized about that let me

repeat it again as if it happened right

I didn't say it again no no but it's

still hurts me though I'm still

traumatized therefore I need to do VI of

that all the time I need to give you a

about that all the time Allah says if

you can just turn the page then Allah is

forgiving too maybe things will

reconcile even in the worst case there's

room for reconciliation there's room to

make things better but if the hearts are

not if if you're too absorbed in

yourself you're not going to look for a

solution the only thing that you want to

serve is your own your wishes and so

this is the this the last thing I will

share with you the the direction that

psychology is in going in now pop

psychology reminds me of the a

of did you see someone who takes their

feeling their empty feeling and it turns

that it they turn it into their

God their God has become their

feeling and Allah allows this person to

be

misguided even though they have

knowledge they can know they can be a

PhD they can be a doctor they can be a

professional but they are being led by

their emotions and they give themselves

a new diagnosis and give thems other

people are diagnosis depending on how

they make them feel today you're a

narcissist tomorrow you're an abuser the

next day you're a toxic person the next

day you're this the next day you're

depressed the next day you're you know

uh you have attachment

issues you're just throw out these

diagnosis label

people you know Allah says and this kind

of a person Allah will put a hear a

ceiling on their hearing you know what

that means that means doesn't matter if

you try to reason with them you cannot

reason with people who live by

emotions many of you have experience

this when people are living by their

emotions if you're trying to be logical

it's like talking to a

wall but but I feel but I feel but I

feel the feeling is that's the

God you know then and Allah places a

cover over their

hearts who's going to guide them after

Allah that ay that last part of that

Ayah who will guide them after Allah you

know what that means they replaced Allah

with their own

feelings that's why there's no more

guidance for them because their is

actually Allah but their became their

haah so Allah

says who's going to guide them after

Allah after they remove Allah from their

hearts what guidance can they have on

the flip side

contemplate when a person experiences

difficulty and Trauma and actual

difficulty in their life whoever turns

back to Allah in faith

will guide that person's

heart Allah knows everything there's

nothing Allah doesn't know Allah guide

our hearts and not allow us to become

you know uh uh worshippers of our own

feelings and actually remain worshippers

of Allah in the depths of our hearts and

may Allah not make us of those who

easily pass judgment on others

unjustifiably you know uh I know this

the HBA is already over but one last

thing I will share with you we cannot

judge another person's heart in Islam I

cannot point at you and say you're a you

have in your heart I can't do it but

there's no way for me to know even Allah

did not let M know if has kufur in his

heart or

not go talk to him

nicely both of you go talk to him nicely

maybe he'll get reminder maybe there's

some part of his heart that can benefit

from a reminder you don't know Ya Allah

it's he kills babies

come come on the guy's heart is made of

some kind of special stone that will

never crack no no no you don't know you

don't get to know this is Allah telling

mus about so I cannot judge another

person's heart but in this new

psychology I can easily judge another

person's heart the moment I call

somebody a narcissist I'm judging them

for their arrogance the moment I call

somebody one of one of these terms I'm

I'm not actually judging their actions

I'm judging the state of their hearts be

careful this is not something our de

allows but we've made this a normal

practice because we're enamored by these

terms now if you're going to understand

these terms if you're not a student of

the subject don't do it don't

misdiagnose yourself and misdiagnose

others it's only creating a problem in

our society and in our

families I hope you guys enjoyed that

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