I'm 35. If you're in your 20's watch this.
Summary
TLDRThis script reveals 35 harsh truths aimed at empowering individuals to take control of their lives. It covers the importance of first impressions, self-education, dressing appropriately, maintaining a fit body, and effective communication. It emphasizes personal responsibility, finding one's purpose, the value of solitude, and the impact of words on life direction. It also touches on the significance of gratitude, setting goals, choosing supportive relationships, and the necessity of discipline for true freedom. The speaker encourages viewers to prioritize their passions, avoid the pitfalls of materialism, and focus on the quality of life over its standard.
Takeaways
- π First impressions are crucial: People decide whether they like you within 3 seconds, so always put your best foot forward.
- π Self-education is key: Traditional schooling may help you make a living, but self-education can lead to greater success and wealth.
- π Dress for success: While clothes don't make the man, dressing well can give you a good start and help you fit the role you want to play.
- ποΈ Fitness is timeless: A well-maintained body is always in style, and commitment to a fitness routine can help you achieve your dream body.
- π€ Communication matters: How you look, sound, and what you say affects how people perceive you. Improving your speaking skills boosts confidence and career advancement.
- π§ Responsibility is power: Real growth comes from taking responsibility for everything in your life, rather than blaming others.
- π Find your purpose: Living without purpose leads to regret. Identify your purpose and pursue it to avoid wasting your life.
- π Surround yourself with positivity: Spend time with people who celebrate you, not tolerate you, to improve your happiness and success.
- π Start your day right: Your morning routine sets the tone for the day, but it's equally important to have a good night routine.
- π Gratitude is powerful: Regularly practicing gratitude increases intelligence, attractiveness, longevity, and wealth.
Q & A
What is the first harsh truth mentioned in the transcript about making a first impression?
-The first harsh truth is that you have only 3 seconds to make a first impression before people decide whether they like you or not, emphasizing the importance of always putting your best foot forward.
According to the transcript, why is self-education important for success?
-Self-education is crucial for success because the current educational system is broken and not designed for everyone to be successful; it requires individuals to actively pursue their own learning and development.
What role do clothes play in personal success as per the transcript?
-Clothes give a good start in personal success as they play a significant role in how one is perceived. Dressing appropriately for the role one wants to play is essential for making the right impression.
What is the significance of having a nice body as stated in the transcript?
-A nice body is considered a timeless fashion statement that can significantly impact how people perceive you, and it also reflects your commitment to health and fitness.
How does the transcript describe the importance of learning to speak effectively?
-The transcript highlights that learning to speak effectively can improve confidence and self-esteem, help in getting points across, and enable one to move up in their industry faster.
What are the three ways people are judged according to the transcript?
-People are judged based on how they look (55%), how they sound (7%), and what they say (38%).
Why is taking responsibility for one's life important as mentioned in the transcript?
-Taking responsibility for one's life is important because it prevents the draining effect of blaming others and allows individuals to maintain control over their own destiny.
What does the transcript suggest about finding and living one's purpose?
-The transcript suggests that not finding and living one's purpose can lead to a life of regret, emphasizing the need to discover what truly drives and fulfills you.
What is the main takeaway from the transcript about the importance of morning and night routines?
-The main takeaway is that both morning and night routines are crucial for success. A good morning routine sets the tone for the day, while a good night routine ensures rest and preparation for the next day.
What advice does the transcript give regarding relationships and codependency?
-The transcript advises against codependency in relationships, suggesting that individuals should focus on self-improvement and self-care, which in turn attracts more healing and positive relationships.
What is the 'Snapback effect' mentioned in the transcript, and why is it significant?
-The 'Snapback effect' refers to the tendency of people to revert to their old behaviors or self-destructive patterns if their self-image does not change along with their achievements, which can lead to a lack of lasting change in one's life.
How does the transcript define true success and happiness?
-The transcript defines true success and happiness not by material possessions or societal standards, but by love, self-fulfillment, and living a life that aligns with one's purpose and values.
What is the importance of saying 'no' as discussed in the transcript?
-Saying 'no' is important for aligning one's actions with their priorities and purpose, allowing individuals to focus on what truly matters and avoid being distracted by less important tasks or people-pleasing behaviors.
Why does the transcript emphasize the significance of small actions or habits?
-The transcript emphasizes small actions or habits because they are the building blocks of success. Incremental improvements and consistent daily practices can lead to significant long-term achievements.
What is the final message of the transcript regarding taking action?
-The final message is that talking or planning is not enough; taking action is what truly leads to results. It's important to move forward and implement the insights and lessons learned from the harsh truths discussed.
Outlines
π The First Impression Principle
The paragraph emphasizes the importance of first impressions, stating that people form opinions about you within the first three seconds of meeting. It compares this to the effort publishers put into book covers and suggests that one should always present themselves at their best. The paragraph also touches on the broken education system and the need for self-education to achieve success beyond just making a living.
π The Power of Appearance and Self-Education
This section discusses the impact of clothing on perception, suggesting that while clothes don't define a person, they can influence initial judgments. It advocates dressing appropriately for the role one wants to play. Furthermore, it highlights the importance of physical fitness as a timeless fashion statement and provides advice on achieving a fit body through a structured workout and diet plan.
π£οΈ Communication and Personal Responsibility
The paragraph delves into the three ways people are judged: appearance, sound, and speech. It stresses the importance of improving one's communication skills to advance in one's career. It also addresses the issue of self-esteem, pointing out the common misconception that others are responsible for it, and instead argues for personal responsibility in all aspects of life.
π‘ Finding and Living Your Purpose
The speaker discusses the necessity of discovering and pursuing one's purpose in life, warning against the regret that comes from not doing so. They argue that money and time are not interchangeable and encourage individuals to avoid being trapped in a cycle of doing things they dislike. The paragraph also introduces the 'purpose formula' as a tool to help find one's purpose.
π€ The Importance of Relationships and Solitude
This section highlights the significance of being in environments where one is celebrated rather than merely tolerated. It references the Harvard Grant study to emphasize the importance of love and deep connections for happiness and success. Additionally, it encourages embracing solitude as a path to self-discovery and greatness.
π The Impact of Morning and Night Routines
The paragraph stresses the importance of both morning and evening routines for setting the tone of one's day and ensuring a good night's sleep, respectively. It provides tips for creating effective routines and introduces the concept of 'cave rules' for better sleep quality.
π The Superpower of Gratitude
The speaker extols the virtues of gratitude, citing scientific findings that link it to intelligence, attractiveness, longevity, and wealth. They promote the practice of writing down three things one is grateful for each day and mention the 'Three Times Happier Journal' as a tool for cultivating this habit.
π― The Power of Goal Setting
This section discusses the importance of setting and writing down goals, referencing a Harvard study that shows the effectiveness of this practice. It argues that having clear goals is essential for achieving success and that without them, one is likely to underperform.
π The Dynamics of Supportive Relationships
The paragraph explores the concept of supportive relationships, stating that the best partnerships are based on mutual support and each person giving their all. It refutes the idea of 50/50 relationships and promotes the idea of self-care as a means to attract healthy relationships.
π§ββοΈ Embracing Solitude for Personal Growth
The speaker encourages embracing solitude as a means to discover one's true self and achieve greatness, drawing parallels to historical figures who found solace and inspiration in solitude. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement.
π£οΈ The Influence of Words on Life's Direction
This section discusses the power of language in shaping one's life, advising to use words to change situations rather than merely describe them. It suggests that speaking positively and with faith can influence reality and personal success.
π± The Role of Environment in Shaping Success
The paragraph argues that environment is more influential than willpower in determining success. It suggests that by shaping one's environment positively, one can influence thoughts and actions in a beneficial way, drawing an analogy to how a flower's growth is affected by the soil it's planted in.
ποΈ Trust and the Power of Letting Go
The speaker advises to trust in a higher power or the universe's plan, suggesting that this trust can prevent disappointment. They emphasize the importance of letting go of control and having faith that everything is unfolding as it should.
π₯ The Self-Inflicted Nature of Suffering
This section differentiates between pain and suffering, stating that while pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. It advises against reliving past pains and instead promotes moving forward and letting go of the past.
π― The Clarity of Prioritization
The paragraph argues that having more than three priorities is ineffective, as it leads to a scattering of focus and energy. It encourages prioritization and the elimination of tasks that do not align with one's core objectives.
ποΈββοΈ The Freedom of Discipline
The speaker discusses the misconception of freedom as the absence of discipline, instead promoting the idea that true freedom comes from establishing habits, routines, and structure. They use the analogy of a train and a car to illustrate the point.
π The Importance of Self-Affirmation
This section warns against excessive humility and encourages pride in one's achievements. It suggests that being too passive can lead to being overlooked and that self-assurance is key to success.
π± The Necessity of Nurturing Passion
The paragraph likens the need for constant nourishment to the survival of both positive and negative aspects of life. It advises to feed one's passions and starve negative habits to ensure growth and success.
π The Importance of Personal Values
The speaker encourages living by one's own rules rather than those imposed by others. They suggest abandoning societal expectations and cultural norms to pursue personal passions and interests.
π΄οΈ The Illusion of Online Persona
This section serves as a cautionary note about the discrepancy between public persona and private reality. It advises not to be deceived by charisma displayed on social media and to seek genuine happiness and fulfillment.
π€ The Futility of Positive Thinking Alone
The paragraph challenges the effectiveness of positive thinking without action, emphasizing the importance of learning from past mistakes and moving forward. It discusses the 'Snapback effect' and the need to change one's self-image to achieve lasting change.
π« The Myth of Material Success
The speaker dispels the notion that material possessions can bring happiness, citing examples of wealthy individuals who are not truly fulfilled. They argue that love and personal fulfillment are the true currencies of life.
π ββοΈ The Power of Saying No
This section discusses the importance of setting boundaries and saying no to protect one's priorities and values. It suggests that saying no is a form of self-affirmation and can lead to greater purpose and clarity in life.
π¨ The Significance of Small Actions
The paragraph highlights the impact of small, incremental improvements over time, using the example of John Wooden's coaching philosophy. It emphasizes that focusing on the little things can lead to significant success.
π‘ The Inevitability of Criticism
The speaker acknowledges that some people will inevitably dislike you for various reasons, advising to overcome the need for approval and to prioritize personal values and integrity.
π οΈ The Difficulty of Repairing Broken Trust
This section warns about the ease of breaking things, whether material or relational, and the difficulty of fixing them afterward. It advises to be cautious with one's actions and words to avoid causing lasting damage.
πββοΈ The Importance of Taking Action
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘First Impression
π‘Self-Education
π‘Appearance
π‘Body Image
π‘Communication
π‘Responsibility
π‘Purpose
π‘Gratitude
π‘Goals
π‘Relationships
π‘Solitude
π‘Environment
π‘Discipline
π‘Priorities
π‘Happiness
π‘Morning Routine
π‘Willpower
Highlights
People decide whether they like you in the first 3 seconds, emphasizing the importance of first impressions.
Self-education is key to achieving success beyond what the traditional school system offers.
Clothing plays a significant role in shaping perceptions and should align with one's professional aspirations.
Physical fitness is not just about health; it's a lifestyle choice that requires commitment and knowledge.
Communication is crucial; appearance, voice, and speech contribute to how we are judged by others.
Taking responsibility for one's life is essential for personal growth and empowerment.
Finding and living your purpose is vital to avoid lifelong regret and to make the most of one's time.
Surrounding oneself with supportive people is crucial for happiness and success.
The quality of one's morning routine sets the tone for the entire day and should be approached with intention.
A good night routine is just as important as a morning routine for overall well-being and productivity.
Gratitude is a powerful tool for improving one's life and should be practiced daily.
Setting and writing down goals significantly increases the likelihood of achieving them.
Having a supportive partner is essential for personal growth and should be a priority in relationships.
Solitude is beneficial for self-discovery and should be embraced rather than feared.
The information we consume shapes our identity; it's important to be mindful of what we allow into our minds.
The words we speak have the power to shape our reality and should be used wisely to create positive change.
Environment plays a significant role in success, and it's crucial to create an environment that supports one's goals.
Trusting in a higher power or the universe can provide a sense of peace and purpose.
Suffering is often self-inflicted by dwelling on past events; it's important to let go and move forward.
Having clear priorities is essential for success and requires focusing energy on what truly matters.
Discipline is a form of freedom that allows for the achievement of goals and the realization of one's potential.
Humility is important, but one should not overshadow their own abilities and achievements.
Passion, like anything, requires nurturing and consistent attention to thrive.
Living by one's own rules and values is crucial for authenticity and fulfillment.
Being aware of the true nature of people, especially public figures, is important for one's own well-being.
Positive thinking alone may not be effective; it's crucial to let go of past failures and move forward.
True success and happiness are not found in material possessions or substances, but in one's inner peace and fulfillment.
Happiness is an internal state and is not dependent on external material possessions.
Saying 'no' is an essential skill for focusing on one's priorities and maintaining personal integrity.
Small, incremental improvements and habits are more impactful than grand gestures or sporadic efforts.
Acceptance that some people may dislike you is necessary for personal freedom and should not be a source of concern.
Careful consideration of actions and words is important to avoid causing irreversible damage to relationships.
Action is more important than words, and taking steps towards goals is what ultimately leads to success.
Transcripts
Kings I don't know a lot but at the age
of 35 these harsh truths I know for sure
they are cheat codes that will give you
an unfair advantage in every area of
your life so listen close and don't
learn this too
late harsh truth number one you have 3
seconds before people decide whether
they like you or not you see there has
never been a person gifted enough to
have a second chance to make a first
impression you know it's cute when we
tell kids don't judge a book bods cover
but when you grow up you realize that
book publishers actually spend hundreds
of thousands of dollars on focus groups
and designers to create the best looking
cover so always put your best foot
forward harsh truth number two school
will make you a
living but self-education will make you
a fortune you see the system is now
broken it's meant to be like that they
never wanted you to be successful so you
have to go after it harsh truth number
three clothes don't make the man but
they give them a good start you see as
much as I'd love to wear sweatpant in
business meetings I understand one thing
that life is a stage and the best actors
get paid so you better make sure your
costume fits the role you want to play
in other words dress like you want to be
addressed period you don't have anys
okay we'll sort that out harsh truth
number four but the best fashioned
statement is a nice body it's rare today
yet it will never go out of style see
most people claim they work out for
health yeah right the truth is most
people just want to look good make it
but see most people don't have the
knowledge to achieve this most people
run on a treadmill day after day year
after year never achieving any Real
Results they want to get in shape but
haven't determined what shape men lift
weights 3 to five times a week hit each
body part twice a week eat food that
rots get 7 to 8 hours of sleep and you
will achieve your dream body you don't
need oing you need commitment harsh
truth number five we are judged in three
ways how we look how we sound and what
we say I want you to take a good look at
the person next you go on how we look is
55% how we sound is 7% and what we say
is 38 % now we talked about how we look
now let's talk about how we sound you
see nothing will improve your confidence
and self-esteem than learning how to
speak learn how to get your point across
tell stories and connect and you will
move up in your industry faster than any
other activity you can do harsh truth
number six now here's a crazy study for
you they ask 1,000 parents and 1,000
teachers who is responsible for
developing the self-esteem in children
72% of parents said the teachers were
78% of the teachers said the parents
were see this is just like life
everybody is is blaming somebody else
nobody is taking responsibility see real
men take responsibility for everything
that happens in their life the way they
look the money in their bank account the
position at their job the way that other
people treat them you see blaming is
draining it's basically giving away your
power when you take ownership you keep
your power and you dictate your fith
harsh truth number seven if you don't
find and live your purpose you will
regret it for the rest of your life see
you are not here to just work pay rent
and then die that is not your purpose
here but if you don't find your purpose
that is exactly what's going to happen
see you can make money you can make all
the money but you can't make time you
can't get that time back that's why they
say never become too good that's
something you hate cuz the world will
make you do it for the rest of your life
this is why I created the purpose
formula see if you're struggling to find
your purpose or maybe don't even think
you have a purpose or maybe you're
starting a new chapter in your life I
will tell you that finding your purpose
is a simple matter of putting the right
pieces into an equation check out the
description box below har truth number
eight go where you're celebrated not
tolerated one of the largest and longest
studies in US history is the Harvard
Grant study they did this study over 75
years spent $20 million and track the
lives of over 268 men and they found one
thing you ready for it Happiness Is Love
full stop they found that people with
deep connections are more successful at
work live longer and are happier so
remember this you can't change the
people around you but you can change the
people around you never hang on to bad
friends just because you've known them
for a long time harsh truth number nine
your mours are sacred there for
affirmations not information meditation
not social media agitation see when you
wake up and you're start responding to
messages you're playing defense when you
start your day in alignment you're
playing offense think about this
scientists have concluded that the first
seven years of a child's life will
dictate how he or she will turn out if a
day is like a mini life then the first
two hours of your day will dictate how
your day turns out so inject positive
energy into your morning and you will
feel the effects throughout your entire
day harsh truth number 10 your morning
routine is meaningless if you don't have
a good night routine so many people
obsess over the morning routine and they
sleep on the night routine pun intended
but it's stupid right it's like if you
don't have a good night's sleep then you
you won't have a good day so get you a
good night routine set an alarm not for
when you want to wake up but for when
you want to go to bed this is a game
changer lay your clothes out the night
before and write your to-do list the
night before finish your day before it
starts and you will set yourself up for
Success oh and here's a bonus here are
my eight cave rules take a photo of it
and I guarantee you will have the best
sleep you ever had in your life which
brings me to number 11 if you're not
being great ful you're wasting your life
gratitude is a superpower scientists are
all in agreement people who are grateful
are more intelligent they are perceived
as more attractive they live longer and
they make more money this is why I
created the three times happier Journal
I spent years working on it and I think
it's the best journal on the market but
honestly I don't care what Journal you
use even if you just use a piece of
paper a blank sheet of paper write down
three things that you're grateful for
every morning and it'll change your life
one sad Harvard study showed that 83% of
people in the US do not set goals for
their life 14% only think about them and
just 3% write them down if you're in the
3% Club there's a 300% greater chance
that you actually meet your goals you
see in life you need goals if you shoot
for nothing you will hit it every single
time if you kind of want something you
will get kind of results and put your
goals down on paper if it's not on paper
it's vapor harsh truth number 13 you
should either have a supportive partner
or no partner at all there is no third
option you see the best relationships
are not 50/50 no that's a big lie the
best relationships are 100 100 each
person giving their all giving their
heart to support the other to become the
best version of themselves you see
there's three types of love love if love
because of and love period you find
somebody that's a love period hang on to
them harsh truth number 14 this brings
me to the best relationship advice I
ever got see so many people say I take
care of you and baby you take care of me
no no no no no no that's stupid see the
best relationship advice is I take care
of me for you and you take care of you
for me relationships today a lot of them
are codependent right two toxic people
ho reasoning each other heal yourself
and you will attract more healing into
your life harsh truth number 15 fall in
love with Solitude you came into this
world alone and you will have to leave
this world alone yet so many people are
afraid to sit by themselves to sit alone
and find out who they really are and yet
the greatest people in history went in
the Solitude and became great that's
because the most beautiful pictures are
always developed in the dark room harsh
truth number 16 you are who you are
today where you are today and how you
are today because of the conversations
you've had the movies You' watched the
books you've read and the music you've
listened to see this is all information
and see if you don't like who you are
today or where you are today then you
must change the information that you
allow to enter your mind protect what
you let into your mind like your life
depends on it because it does harsh
truth number 17 just like a tiny Rudder
controls the direction of a ship so does
your tongue control the direction of
your life are your words pointed in the
right direction never use words to
describe a situation use your words to
change a situation feel the fear but
speak faith when people ask me how I'm
doing I never say oh I'm okay or not bad
because your subconscious only hears bad
I say I'm terrific I'm getting better
and better I say you know if it was any
better I'd feel like the I had the deck
stacked in my favor see the more you
speak about negativity the more of a
vibrational match to negativity you
become so eliminate all negative words
and phrases see you have Six Trillion
cells in your body that are waiting
listening to you ready to March out your
orders you can't control what you think
but what you say will become your
reality as my guy Hayward John says
Speak Life not death harsh truth number
18 willpower doesn't work environment
will beat willower every single time and
twice on Sundays see you could be the
laziest least disciplined person on the
face of the Earth and still be
successful if you shape your environment
in an intelligent way you see because
every action is born from a thought
right and every thought is born from a
stimulus in your environment so if we
want to change our thoughts thoughts in
a positive way we have to change our
environment in a positive way when a
flower doesn't Bloom we don't blame the
flower we blame the soil so many people
go around blaming themselves when
they're not blooming but maybe you
should stop blaming yourself maybe it's
your environment maybe it's not you
maybe it's your soil harsh truth number
19 don't trust people now now don't
distrust people right give them the
benefit of the doubt but put your trust
in God Trust that the Universe always
has a plan and if you have full trust
that all is well and unfolding as it
should I promise you will never be
disappointed again harsh truth number 20
99% of your suffering is self-inflicted
see there's a difference between pain
and suffering pain is a mandatory class
that everybody has to take on Earth
suffering is optional it's an elective
suffering is is reliving that situation
over and over again and saying it
shouldn't have happened and that poison
will get you every time you see nobody
ever died from a snake bite it's the
Venom that kills you harsh truth number
21 if you have more than three
priorities sorry you don't have any you
see most people are scattered dispersing
their time in so many different areas
that they never get anything meaningful
done they major in minors successful
people see they know they have only a
limited amount of energy so they
delegate they automate or they eliminate
tasks so that they could stay in their
genius Zone Bruce Lee said I fear not
the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks
once but the man who has practiced one
kick 10,000 times harsh truth number 22
discipline is freedom so many people in
this world go around saying oh I'm free
I want to be wild and free and they go
around doing anything they want when
they want they're not free in fact most
of them are prisoners to their impulse
discipline is freedom you see if you
take a train off the tracks it's free
but it can't move you take a steering
wheel off a car it's free but where you
going to go see true Freedom requires
habits routine and structure the Sailor
only has Freedom of the Seas when he
disciplines himself enough to look at
the compass harsh truth number 23 too
much humility will kill you you know the
story of Icarus all of us have heard the
story of Icarus where he was told not to
fly too high or the the heat from the
sun will melt his the wax from his wings
and he would fall to the Earth dead not
many people know he was also told not to
fly too low don't cover your light be
proud of who you are and what you do if
you're too passive you will get passed
by if you're too casual you will end up
a casualty harsh truth number 24 nothing
survives without food this is the law of
the universe your passion will will die
if you don't feed it your relationship
will die if you don't feed it they need
constant injections and the same is true
for negative things in your life right
your your bad habits will die if you
stop feeding it your hatred will die if
you stop feeding it everything dies
without food so starve the weeds in your
life and feed the flowers heart's truth
number 25 stop living by the rules of
other people write your own see that
means your your family your parents your
your friends that means an idea that you
have about yourself that isn't in
harmony with your heart you see now is
the time to abandon all expectations now
is the time to develop your own passions
your interests dive into your obsessions
don't fall into the cultural trap of you
need to be at this stage at this age
don't live your life based on the
timeline of somebody else's watch harsh
truth number 26 be careful who you are
of realiz see the man in front of the
camera is often not the same man behind
the scenes are they happy are they
fulfilled are they loving are they truly
healthy ask yourself these questions and
make sure you're not blinded by
somebody's Charisma that you see on
Instagram see I have personally met a
lot of people a lot of celebrities a lot
of podcast successful people with
millions of followers and let me tell
you this the ones you think have their
together are usually the ones standing
in it ARS truth number 27 positive
thinking doesn't always work negative
thinking always does looking back at
past mistakes is what I call failure
reinforcement do not live your life
looking through the rearview mirror
forgive yourself forgive the person that
you were you didn't know any better now
move forward harsh truth number 28 you
can read the books you can watch the
videos you can get you could have the
blueprint but if you don't change the
way you see yourself nothing else will
change this is called the Snapback
effect and it's the reason why people
who lose weight always find it it's the
reason why 97% of people who win the
lottery go broke within 3 years you see
because if your achievements exceed your
self-image you will unconsciously engage
in self-destructive Behavior because
remember one very important principle
the miia C is the miow be the strongest
part of the human mind is the need to
maintain consistency with your identity
if you don't change your self image your
life won't change harsh truth number 29
I've never seen a truly successful
person doing drugs and I know what
you're thinking oh I've I've seen so
many millionaires on IG getting lit
getting drunk getting wasted and I ask
you this are they truly successful are
they truly happy and fulfilled because
nine times out of 10 they are drinking
because they are trying to drown
something inside of them and that is not
success truly successful people don't
party they celebrate harsh truth number
30 nothing in this material world is
going to make you happy I know it may
seem like once you get the car once you
get the house the clothes that you're
going to be happy but I promise you it's
not the case Jim Carrey even said I hope
that everybody can one day get rich and
famous so that they can see that that
won't make them happy see when you focus
on standard of living instead of quality
of life you fall into what Joseph
Campbell calls the Wasteland the
Wasteland plan is for those people who
became a banker but God wanted them to
be a baker it's for those people who
chose a traditional measure of success
instead of finding their own see when
you mature you realize that the currency
of Life the true wealth of life is not
dollars it's not euros and it's not
pounds it's love and only eternal love
can make us happy harsh truth number 31
get comfortable saying no no no no if
you want want to be the person that you
came here to be then you have to get
over your people pleasing you have to
say no to things that are not aligned
with your highest and best use you see
when you say no it's not really a no
because when you say no to someone else
you say yes to you you say yes to your
truth yet you may lose friends but you
will gain purpose become clear on your
top five priorities in life and say no
to everything else harsh truth number 32
the little things are worth a lot more
than the big things there's a man named
John Wooden John Wooden was one of the
most winningest coaches in college
basketball history he's one of my heroes
he had 11 titles under his belt he had a
80% win record when College freshman
came in to try to play for John Wooden
you know what he made him do for the
entire first week of practice maybe it
was practicing their layups maybe it was
the free throws maybe conditioning no
for the entire first week the most
winningest coach in college basketball
history taught them how to tie their
shoes because he said if you can tie
your shoes correctly you can run up and
down the court for longer periods of
time without risking injury and blisters
he knew that it was the small actions
that created success James Clear talks
about this in atomic habits right that
1% incremental Improvement just a little
bit every day you focus on that and you
will get a lot further and have much
greater success than a big gesture
remember what Tom Cruz's friend in
vanilla Sky said the little things
there's nothing bigger the little
things there's nothing bigger harsh
truth number 33 some people are going to
hate you they might hate you because of
your color because of your gender or
because your spirit irritates their
demons and the worst of all are the
people who hate you but smile in your
face like they love you as soon as you
can get rid of your people pleasing
trauma and remember what Lau said you
care about people's approval and you
will forever be their prisoner harsh
truth number 34 it's easier to break
things than it is to fix them that goes
for your mother's vase relationships and
friendships tread carefully with your
actions and words in a fit of anger you
just may give the greatest speech of
your life that you live to regret harsh
truth number 35 when it's all said and
done a lot more is said than done see
few will actually take action see even
if you're on the right track you'll get
run over if you stay there long enough
so get moving and I'll see you next year
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