COMO DEIXAR DE SER BONZINHO SEM SER UM BABACA - Charles Oliveira

Academia do Carisma

14 Jun 202411:30

Summary

TLDRIn this video, Rodrigo Fortes from Academia do Carisma explains how to stop being overly nice without becoming a jerk, using UFC fighter Charles Oliveira as an example. He emphasizes the importance of not seeking constant approval, establishing firm values, and differentiating between humility and self-deprecation. Fortes provides practical strategies for building respect and confidence, and invites viewers to join his charisma school to improve their social skills and overcome timidity. The video encourages self-assurance and the recognition of personal achievements without arrogance.

Takeaways

😇 Being overly nice leads to a lack of respect and security from others.
🙅‍♂️ Overly nice people tend to give in under pressure and struggle to convince others of their ideas.
💪 Charles Oliveira is used as an example of being humble without being overly nice or caving in to others.
🤔 Over-explaining your actions is a sign of seeking approval, which should be avoided.
👊 Charles Oliveira doesn't give explanations for his victories or losses, focusing on moving forward.
🧠 Establishing firm values helps resist external pressure and impulsive decisions.
🌟 Charles Oliveira and Khabib Nurmagomedov are examples of athletes with strong, unyielding values.
🙌 There is a difference between humility and self-deprecation; humility is recognizing your worth without seeking approval.
🗣️ False humility can undermine your credibility and confidence in your own abilities.
🏆 Recognizing and expressing your merits confidently is essential, especially in professional settings.

Q & A

What are the main negative effects of being too nice according to the video?
-The main negative effects of being too nice include people not respecting you, not conveying security in social situations, yielding to pressure, and struggling to convince others of your ideas.
Who is used as an example in the video to illustrate how to avoid being too nice without being a jerk?
-Charles Oliveira, a famous Brazilian UFC fighter known as Charles do Bronx, is used as an example.
What is the first strategy mentioned in the video to avoid being too nice?
-The first strategy is not to explain yourself for everything you do. Seeking approval by constantly explaining your actions can make you seem insecure.
How does Charles Oliveira handle victories and defeats according to the video?
-Charles Oliveira acknowledges his victories and defeats without providing excuses. He simply accepts the outcome and moves forward without over-explaining.
What personal example does the speaker give to illustrate the mistake of over-explaining?
-The speaker shares an experience from a jiu-jitsu competition where he lost his first match and gave excuses for his loss instead of accepting it and moving on.
What invitation does the speaker extend to viewers who are too nice, introverted, or shy?
-The speaker invites viewers to join his charisma school, 'Academia do Carisma Avançado (ADCA),' which offers monthly subscriptions for mastering all areas of human communication to become more charismatic and confident.
What is the second strategy to avoid being too nice discussed in the video?
-The second strategy is to establish fixed values. Having firm values helps you resist pressure and act logically rather than impulsively.
Can you give an example of a value that can help avoid being too nice?
-An example of a value is deciding not to engage in gossip. If you firmly believe that gossiping is wrong, you will resist the impulse to participate in it when pressured by others.
What is the difference between humility and self-deprecation according to the video?
-Humility involves recognizing your roots and being modest about your achievements, while self-deprecation involves belittling yourself to avoid drawing attention, which is often a sign of seeking approval.
How should one handle their achievements during a job interview to avoid being too humble?
-During a job interview, you should clearly state your contributions and merits without downplaying them. For example, explain how your skills and efforts led to the team's success rather than attributing it solely to the team.

Outlines

00:00

😇 How Being Too Nice Can Be Detrimental

The speaker discusses the downsides of being overly nice, such as lacking respect from others and failing to assert oneself. They emphasize the difference between being a good person and being nice to the point of self-sacrifice. Using UFC fighter Charles Oliveira as an example, they illustrate how to balance humility with firmness. The speaker introduces the 'Academia do Carisma' and its focus on overcoming shyness and developing charisma. They stress the importance of not over-explaining oneself and accepting that one cannot please everyone.

05:00

🎯 Setting Firm Values and Avoiding Impulsivity

This section explains the importance of establishing fixed values to avoid being overly accommodating. It uses the example of choosing not to go out at night despite peer pressure, underscoring the role of the prefrontal cortex in decision-making. The speaker highlights how having clear values helps resist impulsive actions and compares Charles Oliveira's disciplined lifestyle to that of another UFC fighter, Khabib Nurmagomedov. The speaker shares a personal value against gossiping and encourages others to hold onto their values firmly to avoid being overly nice.

10:02

🌟 Balancing Humility and Confidence

The speaker differentiates between genuine humility and self-deprecation. They explain that humility involves recognizing one's roots and achievements without putting others down, while excessive self-deprecation can undermine one's confidence and credibility. Charles Oliveira is again highlighted as someone who acknowledges his efforts without false modesty. The speaker emphasizes the importance of owning one's merits, especially in professional settings like job interviews, and shares a personal experience of recognizing their success in a jiu-jitsu competition. The section concludes with a discussion on the difference between arrogance and confidence, hinting at another video on the topic.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Bonzinho

In the video, 'bonzinho' refers to a person who is overly nice to the point of being submissive and not standing up for themselves. This type of behavior leads to a lack of respect from others, as mentioned in the script. The term is central to the video’s theme of balancing humility with assertiveness.

💡Humildade

'Humildade' means humility, a key virtue highlighted in the video. The script explains that being humble does not mean rebranding oneself as weak or inferior. It uses Charles Oliveira as an example of someone who maintains humility without being a pushover, distinguishing it from false humility or self-deprecation.

💡Charles Oliveira

Charles Oliveira, a Brazilian UFC fighter, is used as a role model in the video. He embodies humility and strength without being overly nice. His approach to winning and losing with grace and without over-explanation is used to illustrate how one can be respected without compromising their values.

💡Valores fixos

The term 'valores fixos' refers to fixed values or principles that guide one's actions. The video stresses the importance of having firm values to resist pressure from others. For example, someone with a fixed value of not staying out late will not be swayed by peer pressure.

💡Busca de aprovação

This term means seeking approval from others, which is presented as a weakness in the video. People who constantly seek approval tend to explain their actions unnecessarily and lack self-confidence. The video advises against this behavior to maintain personal integrity and respect.

💡Não se explique por tudo

The phrase advises against providing explanations for every action, especially when not necessary. It highlights that over-explaining can come off as seeking approval. Charles Oliveira’s response to losing a fight is given as an example of how to accept outcomes without excessive justification.

💡Postura

Postura, or posture, in this context refers to one’s demeanor or attitude. The video suggests adopting a posture that commands respect without being arrogant. Charles Oliveira’s composed and confident demeanor is highlighted as an ideal posture.

💡Fofoquinha

'Fofoquinha' means gossip. The video uses this term to discuss the importance of not engaging in gossip, as it aligns with having strong personal values. Avoiding gossip is seen as a way to maintain integrity and respect.

💡Aristóteles

Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, is referenced to support the idea that virtues lie in the balance. The script cites his concept that excessive humility can indicate a lack of self-confidence, reinforcing the video’s message about finding a balance between humility and self-respect.

💡Carisma

Charisma is presented as a desirable trait that involves mastering communication skills and being memorable in social interactions. The video promotes joining the 'Academia do Carisma' to develop these skills, particularly for introverted or shy individuals.

Highlights

Being too nice can lead to people not respecting you and not feeling secure around you.

Charles Oliveira, a famous Brazilian UFC fighter, exemplifies humility without being overly nice and ceding to everyone.

Do not always explain yourself, especially when you haven't done anything wrong.

Charles Oliveira, in victory or defeat, avoids over-explaining; he acknowledges the outcome simply and moves on.

When criticized or questioned, avoid giving too many explanations as it may come off as seeking approval.

Establish fixed values to prevent being overly nice; this helps use logical reasoning over impulsive decisions.

Having clear, fixed values helps resist pressure from others, maintaining your own principles.

Differentiate between humility and self-deprecation; true humility does not involve lowering yourself to please others.

Being humble doesn't mean downplaying your achievements; recognize and acknowledge your hard work and success.

Charles Oliveira, despite being humble, recognizes his effort and success without falling into false modesty.

False humility can undermine your confidence and the trust others place in your abilities.

In professional settings, openly acknowledging your contributions and successes is essential for gaining recognition.

Balancing humility with confidence involves recognizing your merits without demeaning others.

Avoid being nice to the point of losing your voice or compromising your values to please others.

Being charismatic involves mastering all areas of human communication and being confident in social situations.