What I Got Wrong About Mentorship | Simon Sinek

Simon Sinek
2 Dec 202002:33

Summary

TLDRThe speaker reflects on the importance of mentorship, sharing his experience with his mentor Ron Bruder. He emphasizes that mentor relationships evolve naturally, akin to friendships, and are not forced. The speaker prioritized working with smart, inspiring people over job prestige or pay, highlighting the value of learning and growth in a professional environment.

Takeaways

  • 🀝 Mentorship is a two-way street: The mentor also learns from the mentee, making the relationship mutually beneficial.
  • πŸ“ž Accessibility is key: A mentor is someone who makes time for you, even after just one meeting, showing their willingness to guide and support.
  • πŸ’¬ The 'M' word signifies a deep connection: Using the term 'mentor' for the first time solidified the bond, indicating a relationship that goes beyond professional guidance.
  • πŸ€” Mentor relationships evolve naturally: They cannot be forced or assigned; they develop over time through mutual respect and shared experiences.
  • 🌟 Seek mentors who are accomplished and wise: The mentor in the story was successful and years senior, offering valuable life and professional insights.
  • 🧐 Look for a mentor who sees potential in you: The mentor made time because they saw something in the mentee, highlighting the importance of being recognized and nurtured.
  • πŸ’Ό Prioritize people over positions: When job hunting, the focus should be on finding a mentor and a supportive team rather than just the job title or salary.
  • 🌱 Growth is the goal: The desire to work with smart and amazing people who can teach and help you grow is a key factor in choosing a job or mentor.
  • πŸ” Actively seek out mentors: The speaker's approach to job interviews emphasized the search for a mentor, showing the importance of being proactive in finding guidance.
  • πŸ† Mentorship can lead to success: Working with mentors and learning from them has been a contributing factor to the speaker's career achievements.
  • πŸ’­ The mentor also benefits: Contrary to the initial belief that mentors only give, the speaker discovered that mentors gain fulfillment and learning from the relationship as well.

Q & A

  • What did the speaker learn about mentorship from Ron Bruder?

    -The speaker learned that mentorship is about a mutual relationship similar to friendship, where both parties learn and grow from each other, rather than it being a one-sided favor.

  • How did the speaker's mentorship with Ron Bruder begin?

    -The mentorship began when the speaker called Ron with a question after being introduced to him professionally. Ron took the call and they met for lunch, which led to a mentorship relationship.

  • What was the unexpected response from Ron Bruder when the speaker first used the term 'mentor'?

    -Ron Bruder unexpectedly reciprocated the sentiment by saying he loved that the speaker was his mentor too, indicating a two-way relationship.

  • Why did the speaker emphasize that mentor relationships evolve rather than being assigned?

    -The speaker emphasized this because a genuine mentor relationship is built on mutual respect, learning, and time investment, which cannot be forced or assigned.

  • What was the speaker's approach to seeking a job as an entry-level professional?

    -The speaker prioritized finding a mentor and working with smart, amazing people who could teach and help them grow over factors like salary or the profile of the account.

  • What comparison did the speaker make when describing their job search criteria?

    -The speaker compared their job search to looking for love, emphasizing the importance of finding the right mentors and colleagues over other job aspects.

  • How did the speaker's perspective on mentors change over time?

    -Initially, the speaker thought mentors were just doing them favors, but later realized that mentors also gain something from the relationship, learning as much as they teach.

  • What was the speaker's attitude towards working with accounts that were not well-known?

    -The speaker was indifferent to the fame of the accounts, focusing instead on the opportunity to work with and learn from talented individuals.

  • What did the speaker mean by saying they were a 'more senior idiot' now?

    -This was a self-deprecating way of saying that while they had gained experience and knowledge, there was still much to learn, indicating a continued desire for mentorship.

  • How does the speaker define a successful mentor-mentee relationship?

    -A successful mentor-mentee relationship, according to the speaker, is one where the mentor always makes time for the mentee and both parties learn from each other.

  • What advice would the speaker give to someone looking for a mentor?

    -The speaker would advise to seek out mentors actively, focusing on the quality of the relationship and the potential for mutual growth, rather than on superficial job aspects.

Outlines

00:00

🀝 The Essence of Mentorship

The speaker reflects on the mentorship he received from Ron Bruder, highlighting the organic development of their relationship. Initially introduced professionally, the speaker reached out to Ron for advice, and Ron's willingness to help despite only meeting once demonstrated his mentorship spirit. A pivotal moment occurred when the speaker acknowledged Ron as his mentor, and Ron reciprocated the sentiment, emphasizing the mutual nature of mentorship. The speaker learned that mentorship is akin to friendship, evolving naturally rather than being forced or transactional. He also shares his career philosophy, prioritizing the opportunity to learn from mentors over other job aspects.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Mentorship

Mentorship refers to a relationship in which a more experienced or knowledgeable person guides and supports the development of a less experienced or less knowledgeable individual. In the video, mentorship is central to the speaker's personal and professional growth, as exemplified by the relationship with Ron Bruder, who becomes a mentor by consistently making himself available and offering guidance.

πŸ’‘Professional

The term 'professional' in this context denotes a person engaged or qualified in a profession, often indicating a level of expertise and experience. The speaker mentions meeting Ron Bruder professionally, highlighting the initial encounter that led to a mentorship, which underscores the importance of professional networks in forming meaningful relationships.

πŸ’‘Accomplish

To 'accomplish' means to achieve a goal or complete a task successfully. The script describes Ron Bruder as 'very accomplished,' indicating his success and expertise, which are qualities that make him an ideal mentor in the speaker's eyes.

πŸ’‘Wise

Being 'wise' implies having sound judgment and a deep understanding through experience. The speaker notes that Ron Bruder's wisdom was a significant factor in their mentorship, as it provided valuable insights and guidance.

πŸ’‘Mentor

A 'mentor' is someone who imparts knowledge to and advises a less experienced colleague. The video emphasizes the reciprocal nature of mentorship, with the speaker realizing that Ron also gained from their interactions, challenging the traditional view of mentorship as a one-way relationship.

πŸ’‘Friendship

Friendship is a close and supportive relationship between two people. The video script illustrates that a mentor relationship can evolve into a friendship, as indicated by the mutual affection and the use of the term 'mentor' by both parties.

πŸ’‘Reciprocal

The term 'reciprocal' means mutual or given and received in return. The speaker discovers that mentorship is reciprocal, with both the mentor and the mentee learning from each other, which is a key revelation in the video's narrative.

πŸ’‘Mentee

A 'mentee' is a person who is being mentored or coached. The script uses the term to describe the speaker's role in the mentor-mentee relationship, emphasizing the personal growth and learning that occurs as a result of the mentorship.

πŸ’‘Seek Out

To 'seek out' means to look for something or someone actively. The speaker mentions seeking mentors, indicating a proactive approach to finding guidance and learning opportunities, which is a crucial aspect of personal and professional development.

πŸ’‘Transaction

A 'transaction' refers to an act of buying or selling something. The video contrasts the idea of assigned mentorship with seeking out mentors, suggesting that true mentorship is not a mere transaction but a deeper, more personal connection.

πŸ’‘Profile

In the context of the script, 'profile' refers to the prominence or status of an account or job. The speaker prioritizes working with smart and amazing people over the profile of the account, indicating a preference for mentorship and growth opportunities over superficial measures of success.

Highlights

Mentorship is a relationship that evolves naturally, not something that can be forced or assigned.

Mentorship is like a friendship, where both parties learn and grow from each other.

A mentor makes time for you because they see potential in you and want to help you grow.

The speaker's mentor, Ron Bruder, was very accomplished, wise, and took the time to help despite only meeting once.

The speaker initially thought mentorship was one-sided, with the mentor only giving, but later realized it was a two-way street.

Mentorship is not transactional; it's about building a genuine connection and learning from each other.

The speaker's realization that mentorship is a mutual relationship came when Ron Bruder said he was also the speaker's mentor.

Mentorship often starts with a professional connection but can develop into a deeper, more personal relationship.

The importance of seeking out mentors and building relationships with those who can teach and inspire you.

The speaker's approach to job interviews was to prioritize finding a mentor over salary or job profile.

Working with smart, amazing people who can teach you and help you grow is more valuable than the job itself.

The speaker's career progression was influenced by the mentors and people they chose to work with.

The concept of being 'assigned' a mentor does not work as well as naturally forming a mentorship bond.

Mentorship is a continuous process of learning, not just for the mentee but also for the mentor.

The speaker's early career was focused on finding a mentor and learning from them, rather than just seeking a job.

The value of taking jobs with lesser-known accounts to work with people who could provide mentorship and growth opportunities.

Transcripts

play00:00

one of my mentors ron bruder um

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you know taught me what mentorship was

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really all about

play00:07

i met him professionally i was

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introduced to him he's

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very accomplished very successful much

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you know many years my senior

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very wise we got along and you know a

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week or two later i

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i had a question that i thought he might

play00:20

be able to help me with and i called him

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and he

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took my call i only met him once and

play00:25

they took my call again

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and then we met for lunch he just kept

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saying yes

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and he became my mentor you know

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and i remember us at his house one day

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and i was getting

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i was leaving and i put my arm around

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him and i used the m word for the very

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first time i said

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i love that you're my mentor and he said

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something to me that it i didn't expect

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he said and i love that you're mine

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and that's when i realized a mentor

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relationship is is more like a

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friendship you know

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you can't just walk up to a random

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person and say will you be my mentor of

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course

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just like you can't walk up to a random

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person and say will you be my friend

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that's not how it works

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mentor relationships evolve

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because a mentor always has time for you

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they see something in you for some

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reason that they make time for you

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and they learn as much as they

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as much as they teach yeah they come

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into it because they

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they learn i never knew that ron was

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getting something from our time together

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i thought he was just doing me favors

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because he was an amazing guy

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um and a mentor relationship is it's a

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mentor mentor relationship

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so this whole idea of like you're

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assigned to be someone's mentor

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like ah maybe that could work well that

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seems again going back to sort of a

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transactional like

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transaction you know you have to have

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mentors and you have to seek them out

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yeah i remember when i was junior

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looking for a job you know people say

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what are you looking for

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and my standard answer in every

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interview as an entry-level

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you know idiot was uh that's the theme

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in my in my

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career uh i'm just a more senior idiot

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now yeah

play01:52

um uh when they say what are you looking

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for

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my answer was always the same i said

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what i'm looking for is probably

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akin to looking for love but i'm looking

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for a mentor

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and every job that i was looking for i

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was

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i was more concerned about the people i

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would work for

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than i was how much they would pay me or

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whether the account was high profile or

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low profile

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and so i took jobs with like accounts

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that nobody ever heard of

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uh because i didn't care i cared about

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the people who's gonna work i wanted to

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work with really smart amazing people

play02:21

who would teach me and help me grow yeah

play02:23

and that's one of the reasons

play02:25

i got to work with some of these

play02:26

wonderful people yeah

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Related Tags
MentorshipProfessional GrowthRelationship BuildingWisdom SharingCareer AdvicePersonal DevelopmentReciprocal LearningJob SelectionMentor-Mentee BondCareer MentorsGrowth Mindset