Marriage - 3 Part Series

Summary

Deacon Rowley, in a series of discussions at Saint Augustine's parish, explores the sacrament of marriage, its origins, and its significance in Christian faith. He delves into the importance of preparation for marriage, the role of dating in discerning a life partner, and the sanctity of the conjugal act. He addresses contemporary issues such as divorce, annulment, and the church's stance on contraception, advocating for natural family planning and the pursuit of holiness in relationships.

Takeaways

• 💒 The sacrament of marriage is a sacred institution in the Catholic faith, rooted in the teachings of the Old and New Testaments, including the story of the wedding at Cana where Jesus performed his first miracle.
• 🌱 The Catholic Church views marriage as a divine calling, allowing a man and woman to share in God's creation through procreation, which is seen as a beautiful and sacred gift.
• 👫 Marriage is not the only vocation; the Church recognizes and respects the vocation of being single, which can also be a path of following Jesus' example of dedication to God.
• 📚 The Church requires marriage preparation courses, emphasizing the importance of long-term planning and understanding of the commitment involved in marriage.
• 👥 Dating is presented as a starting point for preparing for marriage, a time to understand oneself, one's values, and to build a strong foundation for a future relationship.
• 🤝 The story of Deacon Rowley's daughter and her fiancé illustrates the importance of respect and self-restraint in dating, highlighting the value of waiting for marriage to express physical intimacy.
• 🏠 The Church insists that marriages should be sanctified in a church setting, emphasizing the presence of God and the community as essential to the sacrament.
• 🔄 The Church offers programs like Retrouvaille for couples experiencing difficulties, providing a structured approach to healing and reconciliation.
• 🚫 In cases of abuse or irreconcilable differences, the Church acknowledges the possibility of separation and even divorce, while maintaining the sanctity of the original union.
• ⚖️ Annulments are a process within the Catholic Church for those who have been divorced and wish to remarry within the Church, involving a detailed examination of the union.
• 🚫 The Church opposes the use of artificial contraception, advocating instead for natural family planning methods that respect the integrity of the marital act and foster deeper intimacy between spouses.

Q & A

What is the significance of discussing the sacrament of marriage in a church setting according to the transcript?

The church setting is significant for discussing the sacrament of marriage because it is a place of spiritual presence and reverence. It is where many weddings have taken place, symbolizing God's presence and blessing on the union of a man and a woman.

What is the biblical basis for the sacrament of marriage as mentioned in the transcript?

The biblical basis for the sacrament of marriage is found in the book of Genesis, where God created man and woman in His image and likeness, and declared their union as 'one flesh'. Additionally, the New Testament highlights the wedding at Cana, where Jesus performed His first miracle, sanctifying the event.

How does the speaker connect the story of the wedding feast of Cana to the sanctification of marriage?

The speaker connects the story of the wedding feast of Cana to the sanctification of marriage by pointing out that Jesus' first miracle, turning water into wine, occurred at a wedding. This act signifies Jesus' recognition and sanctification of marriage as an important institution.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of procreation within the sacrament of marriage?

The speaker views procreation as a beautiful gift from God, allowing a man and a woman to share in creation with Him. It is an integral part of the sacrament of marriage, symbolizing the unity and continuity of life.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of recognizing and respecting singleness as a vocation?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing singleness as a vocation to highlight that it is a valid and noble calling, just like marriage. It allows individuals to fully dedicate themselves to God's will, following the example of Jesus, who was single.

What does the speaker suggest about the preparation for marriage in comparison to other life milestones?

The speaker suggests that while people often invest significant time and effort into preparing for events like graduations and careers, similar dedication should be given to preparing for marriage. This includes understanding what one wants in a spouse and what kind of life they want to build together.

What is the role of dating according to the speaker's perspective in the preparation for marriage?

According to the speaker, dating serves as a testing ground to understand oneself and to see how one's personality meshes with another's. It is the beginning of the preparation for a lifelong commitment and an opportunity to explore the potential for a future marriage.

Can you provide an example from the transcript that illustrates the importance of self-restraint during courtship?

The example provided is about the speaker's daughter and her boyfriend who, during their courtship, chose not to engage in kissing to demonstrate respect and the seriousness of their relationship. This act of self-restraint showed their commitment to each other and their desire to build a relationship based on more than physical attraction.

What does the speaker suggest about the importance of including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and marriage?

The speaker suggests that including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and marriage is crucial as it ensures that the union is centered around faith and divine love. It is not just about the ceremony or the physical aspects but about standing before God as husband and wife, inviting Jesus to be part of their life together.

How does the speaker address the issue of broken relationships and the possibility of healing within the church's perspective?

The speaker addresses the issue of broken relationships by acknowledging that life isn't perfect and the church recognizes this. The church offers programs like Retrouvaille for couples to work on their issues. If a couple decides to divorce, the church still sees their union as significant and provides a path for annulment, allowing them to seek healing and possibly remarry within the church.

What is the church's stance on contraception and family planning as presented in the transcript?

The church's stance, as presented in the transcript, is to move away from the contraceptive mentality and towards natural family planning. The church supports methods that respect the natural cycles of the body and promote a deeper understanding and intimacy between spouses, aligning with God's plan for creation.

Outlines

00:00

🛍️ The Sacrament of Marriage and its Divine Origin

Deacon Rowley Cuomo discusses the sacrament of marriage in a church setting, emphasizing its sacredness and divine intention. He references the creation story from Genesis, highlighting God's creation of man and woman in His image and the scriptural directive for a man to leave his parents and become one flesh with his wife. The talk also touches on Jesus' first miracle at the Wedding Feast of Cana, illustrating the sanctification of marriage through this event. Furthermore, Deacon Cuomo addresses the vocation of both marriage and singleness, pointing out that while many choose marriage, single individuals also follow Jesus' path by dedicating their lives to God.

05:01

💍 Preparing for Marriage and its Significance

The speaker, Deacon Rowley, transitions into the topic of preparing for marriage, drawing parallels with the extensive preparations made for other life milestones such as graduation or career choices. He stresses the importance of investing time and thought into understanding what one wants in a spouse and the nature of marriage itself. Deacon Rowley mentions the Catholic Church's requirement for a marriage preparation course, advocating for a long-term perspective on marriage preparation that begins early, even in high school. He also explores the purpose of dating as a means of testing compatibility and personality traits with a potential partner, ultimately serving as the foundation for a lifelong commitment.

10:01

🤔 The Importance of Chastity and Courtship

Deacon Rowley shares a personal story about his youngest daughter's courtship, highlighting the young man's decision to abstain from kissing until marriage as a demonstration of respect and commitment. This act of self-restraint is presented as an example of the importance of knowing one's values and beliefs during the dating process. The speaker encourages dating with integrity, suggesting that couples should be aware of their own strengths and weaknesses and take precautions to avoid compromising situations. He also touches on the broader cultural context, contrasting Hollywood's portrayal of relationships with the Church's teachings on chastity and holiness in singleness and dating relationships.

15:02

🏛️ The Sanctity of Marriage and the Role of the Church

Continuing the discussion on marriage, Deacon Rowley emphasizes the Catholic Church's stance on the sanctity of marriage, explaining that the Church insists on couples being married within its confines to be in the presence of God. He speaks about the importance of having Jesus at the center of the marriage, bringing the couple together and ensuring that the marriage is blessed with fidelity and rewards. The speaker also addresses the planning of the wedding ceremony, advising couples to consider the spiritual significance of the event and to invite Jesus to the wedding, thus keeping God at the heart of their union.

20:03

🔄 Healing Broken Relationships and the Church's Support

Deacon Rowley addresses the reality of broken relationships and the Church's approach to healing and reconciliation. He mentions the possibility of separation as a means for couples to reflect on their actions and behaviors within the marriage. The speaker introduces the 'Retrouvaille' program, a Church-supported initiative aimed at helping struggling couples to renew their marriage through intensive weekends and follow-up sessions. Despite the challenges, he notes the high success rate of couples who engage in this process, but also acknowledges that not all marriages can be saved, leading some couples to seek divorce.

25:04

🏛️ Annulments and the Church's Perspective on Divorce

The speaker delves into the process of annulment within the Catholic Church, explaining it as a means for a divorced couple to seek the Church's recognition that their marriage was not a true sacrament. This process involves a thorough examination of the marriage, including testimonies and an evaluation by a tribunal. Deacon Rowley stresses the Church's desire for couples to remain chaste during this process, with the hope of being able to remarry within the Church and maintain sacramental graces. He also encourages individuals to educate themselves on the Church's teachings regarding separation, divorce, and annulment through the catechism.

🚫 Moving Beyond Contraception Towards Natural Family Planning

In the final paragraph, Deacon Rowley challenges the prevalent contraceptive mentality, advocating instead for an openness to God's plan for creation and family. He critiques the use of artificial contraception, arguing that it hinders the true intimacy and unselfish love that should characterize the conjugal act. The speaker promotes natural family planning methods as a way to foster a deeper understanding and connection between spouses, allowing them to make decisions about conception in harmony with their faith. He also suggests that there are other ways to express love beyond sexual intercourse and encourages further exploration of the Church's teachings on family planning and marriage.

Keywords

💡Sacrament of Marriage

The sacrament of marriage is a religious rite that signifies the union between a man and a woman in a committed relationship. It is one of the seven sacraments in the Catholic Church and is deeply rooted in the teachings of Christianity. In the video, the sacrament is discussed as a divine institution created by God and exemplified through biblical stories such as the creation of man and woman in Genesis and the Wedding Feast of Cana, where Jesus performed his first miracle.

💡Unity

Unity in the context of the video refers to the oneness of a couple in marriage, as described in the Bible where it is said that 'the two will become one flesh.' It represents the spiritual and physical bonding of husband and wife, and is a central theme in the sacrament of marriage. The video emphasizes the importance of this unity in God's plan for marriage.

💡Procreation

Procreation is the process of creating offspring, and in the video, it is presented as a natural outcome of the marital union blessed by God. It is the ability for a man and a woman to conceive and have children, which is described as a beautiful gift from God. The script highlights this as a significant aspect of marriage that couples share in God's creation.

💡Vocation

A vocation in the video refers to a calling or a life path that individuals are drawn to follow, which can include marriage, singleness, or religious life. The speaker mentions that while many people choose married life, there is also a vocation in being single, which allows individuals to focus on a deeper connection with God, as exemplified by Jesus Christ who never married.

💡Marriage Preparation

Marriage preparation is the process of equipping couples with the necessary knowledge and skills for a successful marriage. The video discusses the importance of investing time and energy into understanding what one wants in a spouse and preparing for the lifelong commitment of marriage. It mentions that the Catholic Church and other Christian faiths require couples to undergo a marriage preparation course before getting married.

💡Dating

Dating in the video is portrayed as a preliminary stage of relationship building where individuals explore compatibility and emotional intimacy with potential partners. It is suggested as a testing ground for the preparation towards marriage, allowing individuals to understand themselves better and what they stand for in a relationship.

💡Chastity

Chastity in the video is defined as the practice of living a pure life, especially in matters of sexual desire. It is not merely about the state of virginity but a lifestyle choice that follows God's teachings on purity. The speaker encourages reclaiming chastity even if one has previously been sexually active, as it is a way of living in accordance with God's plan.

💡Annulment

Annulment in the Catholic Church is a canonical process that declares a marriage null, meaning it was never valid in the eyes of the Church. The video explains that an annulment is sought after a civil divorce and involves a detailed examination of the marriage by a tribunal. It is a way for the Church to address situations where a true marital union was not achieved, allowing individuals to potentially remarry within the Church.

💡Contraception

Contraception in the video is discussed as a cultural norm that often contradicts the teachings of the Catholic Church. It refers to methods used to prevent conception, which the Church views as unnatural and a barrier to the true intimacy of the conjugal act. The Church promotes natural family planning instead, which aligns with its teachings on the sanctity of marital relations.

💡Conjugal Act

The conjugal act in the video is described as an intimate and loving interaction between a married couple, which is more than a physical act. It signifies the deep emotional and spiritual connection between spouses, where they are called to be unselfish and caring towards each other's needs and desires. The Church emphasizes the importance of this act being free from contraception to maintain the sanctity of the marital bond.

💡Natural Family Planning

Natural family planning is an approach to understanding and tracking a woman's fertility to either achieve or avoid pregnancy without the use of artificial contraceptives. The video mentions that the Church supports this method as it respects the natural cycles of the body and fosters a deeper understanding and intimacy between spouses. It can also be used for couples who wish to conceive, aligning with the Church's teachings on procreation.

Highlights

Deacon Rowley discusses the sacrament of marriage in a church setting, emphasizing the sacredness of the institution.

The Old Testament's account of creation is cited as the origin of the unity between man and woman.

The New Testament's story of the Wedding Feast of Cana is highlighted as Jesus' first miracle, sanctifying marriage.

Marriage is presented as a sharing in God's creation through procreation, a gift from God.

The importance of recognizing singleness as a vocation, similar to marriage, is underscored.

The necessity of marriage preparation courses before marrying in the Catholic Church is mentioned.

Dating is described as a testing ground for future life commitments and a part of marriage preparation.

A personal story illustrates the importance of self-restraint and respect in dating, leading to a successful marriage.

The role of chastity in dating and its significance in following God's path is discussed.

The importance of including Jesus in the wedding ceremony and the marriage itself is highlighted.

The church's stance on broken relationships and the potential for healing through separation and reconciliation is explored.

The process of annulment within the Catholic Church is explained, emphasizing the need for civil divorce first.

The church's view on contraception as a barrier to true intimacy in marriage is presented.

Natural family planning is introduced as an alternative to contraception, fostering a deeper connection between spouses.

The catechism of the Catholic Church is recommended for further understanding of marriage, separation, divorce, and annulment.

The importance of exploring natural family planning and its impact on the couple's relationship is emphasized.

Transcripts

play again uh Deacon Rowley Cuomo

back with you I hope so far the course

has gone well and that you know these

little shots we're having are

informative for you we're in a different

place today we're here at Saint

Augustine's parish in Ponoka actually

quite a beautiful little country church

we have some uh this beautiful altar

here a beautiful sanctuary and I thought

that given that we're talking about a

very very special thing today the

sacrament of marriage matrimony

what what better place would there be

than to be in the presence of God to be

here in his church

here on the altar where many

weddings have happened taken place in

the presence of God

so let's talk a little bit about

about the sacrament of marriage in God's

intention here for that sacrament

I know you've you've read no doubt the

story of creation the first book of

Genesis where God made man and woman

when he made the Men's image in his

likeness

and he created them

and he knew what he had created was good

and in the words of scripture he said

a man will leave

his mother and father and joined with

his wife and the two will become one

flesh

so there we have right in the Old

Testament kind of the you know the

origin of couples that that origin of of

unity of man and woman

if we move along into the New Testament

we see a very beautiful story the story

of the wedding Feast of Canaan

Jesus goes to the wedding Feast his

mother is also there

and we hear of the first miracle where

Mary goes to Jesus trying to save her

friends her her good neighbors

embarrassment because they've run out of

wine

she implores Jesus to help them

and as you know she asks Jesus if he

will

make more wine wow what a what a great

miracle that is wouldn't we love to take

Jesus to a party with us if we ran out

of wine or whatever Jesus make some more

for us you know that's kind of what it

was like at Cana except the request

comes from his mother

and as yet Jesus hasn't performed a

miracle

and he tells her that you know my time

hasn't come and Mary not not listening

to Jesus at all turns to the servants

and says do whatever he tells you so she

expects this miracle to happen and he

does and he he changes the water into

wine and a lot of it six jugs each 25

gallons like there's 150 gallons of wine

can you imagine what a celebration that

this would have been

point though is

it is Jesus first miracle and the first

miracle happens at a wedding feast

so there is a very beautiful beautiful

connection here in how Jesus sanctifies

this whole Sacrament by making it his

his Coming of Age so to speak his entry

into into the world

through a wedding feast

there's a very beautiful thing that

happens

in marriage

and sometimes we miss that point that

God who created man and woman

now

allows us to share in that Creation with

them we call it procreation but the

ability for a man and a woman themselves

to conceive and have children

a beautiful gift that is and a gift you

know that is just totally uh

given to us by God

and I can't I can't think of

anything more beautiful

I do want to say this there's sometimes

when we talk about marriage sometimes we

we forget it's only one of the vocations

that God calls us to so married life is

there and and many people choose it

but let's remember there's a vocation in

being single

and being single calls us to you know

share exactly the life that Jesus

himself chose because Jesus himself

never married

and he saw his role in his singleness to

be connected so totally to the father to

do the will of the father and I don't

want to

leave you with the impression that the

married vocation is is the only one

those who choose singleness are also

following Jesus path

so I'm going to stop there for now and

we will come back and uh in a short

while to continue this discussion of

matrimony

hi Deacon Rowley back again

so welcome to the second section on

marriage and in this section

I want to invite you to look at

ways that we prepare ourselves for

marriage

you know it strikes me that we spend so

much time preparing ourselves for so

many other things a high school

graduation might be one of those things

you know that we prepare for we spend

you know a lot of hours looking for

dresses and and suits and planning uh

you know how we're going to get there

and what we're going to do and

um we spend a lot of time preparing for

careers too we graduate from high school

something in mind we start looking at

colleges and universities post-secondary

apprenticeship whatever

and then we invest all those years into

that career that's good all that is good

and we need to do that

the point I'm trying to make is if we

invested that much time and energy into

thinking about marriage thinking about

what we want in in a spouse what we want

that

to be in our life maybe maybe marriage

and marriages would be more successful

maybe they would be more long-term maybe

there would be that strong commitment

and so

let's talk a little bit about how we do

that and how we prepare for it

you know the Catholic Church says You

must have a marriage preparation course

before they're going to marry you and

actually many of the other churches are

doing exactly the same thing so you just

can't walk in and say to the priest you

know we want to get married can you do

it next Saturday it's not going to

happen

it's not going to happen in most

Christian faiths and so

the preparation for marriage is more of

a

I think a long-term view that we have to

take and I want to suggest to you that

that view has to begin even now even as

you're in high school as you're

pondering your future

how do we do that well

most of you probably by this time have

maybe experienced dating or are getting

yourself ready to date

why do we date

we date you know to meet people we date

to try ourselves on try our personality

on with another person you know we want

to be accepted we want to be loved we

want to have uh intimacy with someone

and so dating is kind of that

I guess that testing ground to see how's

that going to work

well I'm going to suggest to you that

dating is really

where

we're beginning that preparation for

that journey in life which might

eventually lead us to commit ourselves

Faithfully to one person

I'm going to tell you a little story

that might make this

maybe a little more relevant to you

I want you to remember I'm a deacon I'm

not a priest so when I tell you about my

children deacons get married and I am

married and I have four children

and my youngest daughter

is a beautiful girl very very attractive

tall girl white athletic you know I

always worry about her because she she

was busy she dated in high school and

and uh seemed to seem to have lots of

fun

but as she graduated from high school

she she met a fellow

and he struck me as a pretty genuine

young man

um

you know as fathers you always have a

little bit of a concern but uh

I didn't find this out until

long after they had dated and in fact

I'll tell you the end of the story they

got they got married but I want to tell

you about the courtship because I think

it's an interesting that's an

interesting story

she was quite taken up with this young

fella and uh you know they would do lots

of things they would you know Bill

snowman they would go

off on walks they would

whatever you know happens on dates but

lots of activity in their life but there

was

a faith component there and they were

both Catholic I think that kind of

helped

but the story that I want to tell you is

this that during all of that time that

they were dating

he would not allow himself he would not

allow himself to kiss her

not that she didn't want to kiss him she

wanted to kiss him right but sometimes

he'd be watching a movie and he might

have had his arm around her and you know

she knows feeling uh you know very

intimate and she'd want to give him an

attack on the cheek or whatever I'm not

saying that didn't happen but you know

the lip on lip kind of Kiss

he didn't let it happen

when she told me the story I thought wow

that's that's something

because usually it's the girl who has to

kind of take that stand and maybe sort

of push push the boy off but here

was a young man ready to take on that

responsibility to say

this this girl is important to me I want

her to know how important she is I want

to know I'm prepared to give up some

things that are important to me do I

want to kiss her absolutely you know

what I'd like to do a little more

absolutely but he had already positioned

himself and his life and his his stance

stance to say

help me God help me be strong here this

this girl is important to me and I'm

going to communicate that to her

now maybe some other girls would have

walked away from that relationship

my daughter didn't

and

eventually this young man came to me and

asked for her hand in marriage

which again I thought was pretty novel

because that doesn't always happen in

this day and age but it tells tells you

something about who he was and today

they're they're married they have two

children

God's blessed them he he just finished

his first degree in kinesiology just got

accepted into physiotherapy she has a

does a good job as a degree you know

their life is is blossoming and I know

that God's at the center of that

I'm telling you that story because I

think when we date

or Court

we need to know who we are we need to

know what we stand for what we believe

in we need to know the strength of

ourselves and if we think we're a little

bit weak then let's make sure we're

dating with another couple let's make

sure we're dating you know with friends

let's make sure we're in places you know

that are public that we're not going to

allow ourselves those indiscretions that

could lead us to moments of

infidelity of

of

you know unchased actions and so on

so hard to do that I know it's so hard

to do that in a culture where we're

bombarded with all of these images you

can't turn on the TV without seeing two

people you know in bed together and

there's an expectation that oh well I

guess this is this is how life is this

is what people do no it's not what

people do it's what TV does it's what

Hollywood does

God's calling us to something just a

little better than that a little greater

than that he's calling us to Holiness in

our lives as single people

as dating couples as engaged couples

he's calling us

to live our life in holiness

I'm saying that and I'm guessing I'm

just guessing

that there's some of you maybe who have

already had sex and you're saying

oh I'm done

I'm finished I've lost my virginity

uh so what else have I got to lose and

so we sort of keep

tumbling into that

that spiral of of a life that maybe

we're not happy about

let me say this to you that Chastity you

know if you've lost if you've lost your

virginity

reclaim

your chastity

reclaim it

because Chastity is not

the result of one single option

Chastity is the way we choose to live

our life the way we choose to follow God

reclaim it reclaim it

and begin to focus again on what it is

that God is calling it to be

okay I'm gonna I'm going to uh

just move on from that just a moment

here because as we prepare for marriage

we need to think

about what that might look like what's

what's that ceremony going to look like

where is it going to happen

I've been invited many times to do

weddings in the backyard to do weddings

at a farm to do weddings you know in a

mountain setting

and in every one of those requests I've

had to say no

because the church holds firm

that we want to have couples

sanctify their marriage in a church

before God

it's a beautiful thing really to come

into uh into the presence of God not

that God isn't there in nature that God

might not be there on top of a mountain

but we know God for sure is here in the

church and this is his presence among

men

and to be married you know here I think

is a very very special thing

I don't want to criticize those who have

gone elsewhere all I'm saying is think

about this now before you know those

other ideas start coming into your head

what a beautiful place to come to you

come down the aisle you're here before

God before the witnesses that you've

invited raid or shine is gonna you're

gonna be sheltered because the church is

you know covered and so nothing is going

to interfere with that date

also remember

in your planning

Jesus is there between the two of you

Jesus is that Center that brings you and

your spouse together and if your

marriage is always centered around Jesus

in prayer faithfulness to one another

Fidelity to one another

the blessings and Rewards

are just going to multiply in your life

so it's not just the wedding ceremony

it's not just the dress it's not just

you know the guests on the list and so

on it's

it's when you stand before God's husband

and wife

that's that's marriage

don't forget to invite Jesus to the

wedding

hi welcome back you can rolly here again

this is part three of the marriage

section the marriage unit and in this

section I'd like to talk a little bit

about what we might consider to be

broken relationships and and how that

affects marriages and families children

where's the church stand on these things

and and is there healing can we can we

seek some kind of a piece out of all of

this

well we know life isn't always perfect

that things happen and certainly the

church realizes that as well

and so how do we deal with with

relationships that have broken off with

those kinds of problems

sometimes

especially in situations of abuse

whether it's physical emotional sexual

you know it may be

beneficial for that couple to be apart

for a bit to kind of work things out we

would call that separation so they

separate from each other

maybe with the time to examine their own

lives see well you know am I the person

God

wants me to be am I treating my spouse

the way I should be treating her or him

am I my unselfish am I generous in my

nature all of those things

and sometimes that period of Separation

may be enough to say yeah I know where I

I know where I messed up I want to try

this again I want to try it again in a

loving caring way to see if I can

give my spouse that intimacy and that

that that love that they deserve

as you know it doesn't always happen

that way uh and the church recognizes

that too so they put in place some

really good programs for couples that

struggle couples that need help one of

those is called retrofy sort of a French

word sort of like let's let's

do this again let's try this again

um it's quite intense you know it's a

whole weekend to begin with and then

it's a follow-up of six or eight weeks

where every Sunday you check in again

with your Leaders with your team in and

you talk about how it's going and about

some of the issues that you're working

on and and there is support in that

Journey so

it's a good thing it's a good thing and

many couples have found that their whole

marriage is just renewed because they've

tried a little harder and they've

they've gone at it together

does that always work

no

with the success rate for those who have

gone in there seeking

that that remediation and wanting it you

know is very high

often though

couples get so estranged that they don't

even want to try

and as a result they seek a divorce they

seek a split the separation so simply

they they a divorce is a civil Act

they apply for it and they

you know get a civil a civil

permanent

divorce from one another

that doesn't suggest though that the

church has let go of that Union the

church still sees that Union as a man

and a woman together even though they

have a divorce

now albeit the church will not go to the

next step which is annulments unless

that couple is civilly divorced so

that's the first step if someone's

seeking an annulment of course they have

to have a civil divorce in place

well what is an annulment why is it sort

of unique within the Catholic Church

if we go back to our first talk about

marriage you know where God said I've

made man and woman the two shall become

one

church is pretty serious about that and

for that those two not to become one you

know it does require a lot of a lot of

study a lot of introspection a lot of uh

testimony on behalf of both spouses they

sometimes even go to those who were

there to witness the marriage they would

they would talk to the parents of both

spouses they would look at all the

factors

involved in the life of that couple so

it's quite intense really intense

once all that information has been

gathered it goes before a tribunal which

is made up of

of a collection of people but for sure

representatives of of the Chancery

office which would be where they Center

the diocese would be in our case here in

the Red Deer area it's the Archdiocese

of Edmonton so those those

recommendations

or applications that are being made for

annulment would go there would appear

before a tribunal once all this

information is collected

what does an annulment do

well

during that process that collection of

information and all of that data the

church asks that couple to remain

faithful to to be to have this Fidelity

and I guess we would say Chastity in

other words

they don't want them to enter into other

relationships particularly relationships

that you know might lead to a second

marriage and so on because the church

wants all of us to remain in sacramental

Grace the ability to receive the

sacraments to come to Holy Communion to

live in that period of time you know in

Union with God and asking

the grace of God to help them in where

their life is going

and so

a divorced person seeking an annulment

wants to do this because their hope

ultimately is that they would be able to

remarry again in the church and remain

in The sacramental Graces of of the

church

so it's a process that often begins very

soon after a divorce

so that if couples do meet or a person

does meet you know another another

individual and they want to get married

that the annulment processes well on

their way or has been completed

there is a lot of information in the in

the catechism of the Catholic Church on

some of those topics first of all and

Separation on divorce on annulments and

it would be good to look at that section

that whole section on marriage is pretty

enriching and would probably add a lot

to

your knowledge about marriage as well as

some of these other factors that come

into play

let's shift gears again just a little

bit because before we complete this I

think this unit I think it would be

important to talk about some of those

issues

that again are are topics of concern and

I'm kind of looking at issues of

contraception

Family Planning

so on

we live in this culture of I would call

A A mentality of contraception

where

without informing our conscience we

sometimes think well no problem you know

over we don't want kids right away we

you know we want to get our careers set

we want to buy hubs we'd like to finish

paying for the car you know

we have all these reasons that we put in

front of us we're not having children

and thus we think

well contraception is okay because it

fits right into

our lifestyle

well the church takes a little different

view of that

you know we want to get away from this

contraceptive mentality into opening

ourselves up to the possibility of

conceiving the child

but the church is is there to support

families not to dictate two families but

they want to do it in a way that we're

in harmony with God in God's plan for

our own bodies and God's plan for

creation

and so the church is saying that

un unnatural means of contraception are

placing a barrier there

that prevents the true

intimacy of the conjugal Act

to

to happen because

I'm choosing my words carefully here

if in some moment of passion you know

well let's just

you know the husband comes home from

maybe uh whatever hockey game or

something we set a few drinks with the

guys he comes home and oh his wife's

wife sitting there and he's just you

know wants to make love to her and and

for him this is the right time

but maybe it's not for her

uh

if if they're contracepting you know

they

probably have sex

they're not they're not making love to

one another they're not making this

intimate caring

concerned Act

of love

it becomes a physical act

and

and one that actually

can break that relationship down over

time

what is the conjugal act it's an act of

love it's an act of intimacy between two

couples it's knowing one another's

bodies it's knowing

one another's feelings it's caring about

where that other person is

true love is really

The Awakening of that desire in your

spouse of wanting fulfillment for that

spouse

where together you are so United in that

act that you're just

reading each other in a in a complete

unselfish

kind of giving

when we're contraceptive it's very

difficult to sort of put aside our our

sexual instinct and to want that

fulfillment just for ourselves and we

forget there's another person in that

whole in that whole equation

so what does the church say about this

the church

has offered and has

um

blessed I would say what we would call

Natural planning and again without

getting into many details I'm going to

encourage you

to explore them to learn a little bit

more about it and there's there's many

different ways of and and descriptions

of Family Planning but it has come uh so

far and we know so much about the human

body that couples actually use natural

family planning to help them conceive if

they're having difficulty conceiving

children or to not conceive that means

abstinence in those times where the

woman would be most fertile

is it does it bring blessings to that

family

well it certainly connects the husband

and wife together you know the husband

knows the woman's cycle she's aware of

her own uh sort of biology and what's

happening to her there's an intimacy and

a sharing of all of that that whole that

whole relationship and so sometimes you

say no to to one another or you say no

to yourself

because

the time isn't right

is there other ways to show love to your

spouse other than a sexual intercourse

absolutely and you know abstaining is

probably one of those ways where you

share you know in other ways in intimacy

that that couples can share in their

relationship with one another

so I'm going to stop there and invite

you to once again look at the catechism

of the Catholic Church it covers most of

these topics quite well good luck with

that