How to never feel embarrassed again

Summary

This video script addresses the paralyzing effects of embarrassment and shame, urging viewers to embrace their authentic selves and let go of societal pressures. The speaker shares personal experiences and insights on overcoming these fears, advocating for self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. They emphasize the importance of not living a life dictated by others' opinions and highlight the transformative power of self-belief and self-trust in achieving personal growth and success.

Takeaways

• 🔓 Embarrassment can be a self-imposed prison that prevents personal growth and achievement.
• 👶 Shame and embarrassment are not innate; they are learned behaviors, often from family and societal expectations.
• 🛡 Recognizing that shame is not a natural state can help in breaking free from its hold on one's life.
• 🧘‍♀️ Embracing one's authentic self and letting go of limiting beliefs is crucial for personal development.
• 💡 Forgiveness of past mistakes is essential for personal growth and moving beyond the constraints of shame.
• 🔄 Understanding that people's opinions are subjective and not facts can help in reducing the impact of others' judgments.
• 🏠 Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can provide accessible and convenient mental health support.
• 💪 Self-acceptance and self-trust are vital for making decisions and living life according to one's own values.
• 🚫 Avoid living up to others' expectations at the expense of one's own happiness and fulfillment.
• 🌟 Everyone has unique qualities and strengths; embracing these can lead to a more empowered and fulfilling life.
• 💖 Believing in oneself and one's desires is the first step towards achieving a life free from unnecessary struggle and shame.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is overcoming embarrassment and shame to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

What is the narrator's perspective on the origin of shame and embarrassment?

The narrator believes that shame and embarrassment are not innate but are learned behaviors, often taught by parents and passed down through generations.

How does the narrator suggest we deal with past mistakes that cause shame?

The narrator advises to forgive oneself for past mistakes, acknowledge personal growth, and not let past actions define who you are now.

What is the role of BetterHelp in the video script?

BetterHelp is an online therapy platform sponsor mentioned in the script, which connects individuals with licensed therapists to help with various issues, including overcoming shame and embarrassment.

Why does the narrator emphasize the importance of not being embarrassed by one's own actions?

The narrator emphasizes this because being embarrassed by one's own actions can prevent personal growth and fulfillment, and it can lead to living a life dictated by others' opinions.

What does the narrator mean by 'shame is like living in a prison of other people's minds'?

The narrator means that when one is ashamed, they are confined by the expectations and judgments of others, losing their autonomy and ability to make independent choices.

How does the narrator relate the concept of shame to personal growth and success?

The narrator suggests that shame can hinder personal growth and success by creating a barrier to taking risks, being authentic, and pursuing one's goals.

What advice does the narrator give for dealing with people who try to shame or embarrass you?

The narrator advises to own your mistakes, understand that people's opinions are not facts, and not to lower oneself for people who are miserable or hypocritical.

How does the narrator view the relationship between self-acceptance and the ability to make decisions?

The narrator believes that self-acceptance is crucial for trusting oneself and making independent decisions, without relying solely on the opinions of others.

What is the narrator's stance on the idea that people are meant to struggle in life?

The narrator rejects the idea that people are meant to struggle, asserting that everyone deserves blessings and a good life, and that struggle is not a necessary part of existence.

How does the narrator define the impact of shame on one's ability to create and achieve?

The narrator defines the impact of shame as a hindrance to creativity and achievement, suggesting that those who overcome shame can create more and achieve greater success.

What does the narrator suggest is the key to overcoming the fear of embarrassment?

The narrator suggests that self-belief, understanding that one's own opinion is paramount, and not seeking perfection are key to overcoming the fear of embarrassment.

Outlines

00:00

🔓 Overcoming Embarrassment and Shame

The speaker discusses the paralyzing effects of embarrassment and shame, which are often ingrained from childhood through societal and familial pressures. They share their personal journey of breaking free from these constraints and encourage viewers to do the same. The video is sponsored by BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that connects users with licensed therapists to address personal issues. BetterHelp's flexible system allows for switching therapists without charge and offers the convenience of online sessions.

05:01

🌱 The Origins of Shame and Embarrassment

This paragraph delves into the realization that shame and embarrassment are not innate but are learned behaviors passed down through generations. The speaker emphasizes that children are born authentic and without shame, but societal and parental expectations can lead to the development of these negative feelings. They suggest that recognizing this can help individuals shed limiting beliefs and embrace their true selves without fear of judgment or embarrassment.

10:03

💔 Forgiving Past Mistakes and Moving Forward

The speaker addresses the issue of carrying shame from past mistakes and the importance of self-forgiveness. They highlight the need to acknowledge personal growth and change, rather than allowing past errors to dictate one's self-worth. The paragraph also touches on the psychological impact of constantly revisiting past traumas and the necessity of letting go to prevent self-sabotage and to embrace a brighter future.

15:04

🚫 The Futility of Seeking Approval

This paragraph examines the futility of living life according to others' opinions and the damage it can cause to one's self-esteem. The speaker points out the hypocrisy of people who judge others while engaging in the same behaviors in private. They encourage viewers to stop seeking validation and to trust their own decisions and desires, emphasizing that everyone has their own unique path and deserves to pursue their own version of happiness and success.

🏆 Embracing Authenticity for Success

The speaker argues that those who embrace their authenticity and are unafraid of embarrassment or shame tend to achieve more in life. They highlight the success of online personalities who, despite ridicule, continue to express themselves and reap financial rewards. The paragraph encourages viewers to pursue their passions without fear of judgment and to recognize that they are deserving of success and happiness.

💡 Believing in Yourself and Your Potential

In the final paragraph, the speaker stresses the importance of self-belief and the dangers of self-imposed limitations. They share their personal experience of starting a YouTube channel and the wisdom and growth that resulted from taking that risk. The speaker encourages viewers to show up for themselves, to believe in their own abilities, and to not dim their light for others who may not support their journey. They conclude with an invitation for viewers to engage with their new products and share their feedback.

Keywords

💡Embarrassment

Embarrassment is a feeling of self-consciousness, awkwardness, or shame, often brought on by one's actions or perceived judgment from others. In the video, it is discussed as a barrier to personal growth and fulfillment, with the speaker sharing their own experiences of overcoming the fear of embarrassment to achieve more in life.

💡Reputation

Reputation refers to the beliefs or opinions that others have about someone's character or actions. The script mentions the pressure of maintaining a good reputation and how it can be indoctrinated from a young age, affecting one's behavior and decisions throughout life.

💡Authenticity

Authenticity is the state of being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, without attempting to conform to outside expectations. The video emphasizes the importance of being authentic to oneself as a means to overcome societal pressures and personal insecurities.

💡Indoctrination

Indoctrination is the process of teaching someone to accept a set of beliefs uncritically. In the context of the video, it is used to describe how societal norms and expectations are passed down through generations, influencing an individual's behavior and mindset.

💡Insecurity

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, self-doubt, or fear about one's self-worth. The script discusses how the pressure to conform to societal expectations can lead to feelings of insecurity, especially when one's actions are judged by others.

💡Therapy

Therapy, specifically mentioned as 'online therapy' in the script, is a form of treatment that involves talking about one's feelings, thoughts, and problems with a professional to improve mental health and emotional well-being. The video promotes the use of an online platform called 'Better Help' for therapy services.

💡Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is the act of unconsciously or consciously acting in ways that undermine one's own success or happiness. The video script uses this term to describe how dwelling on past mistakes and shame can prevent individuals from moving forward and achieving their goals.

💡Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the process of letting go of resentment or anger against oneself or others. In the video, the speaker encourages viewers to forgive themselves for past mistakes as a step towards personal growth and overcoming shame.

💡Owning Mistakes

Owning mistakes means acknowledging and taking responsibility for one's errors or wrongdoings. The video script suggests that owning one's mistakes can lead to personal empowerment and freedom from the fear of judgment by others.

💡Shame

Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. The video discusses shame as a powerful emotion that can hold individuals back from pursuing their desires and living a fulfilling life.

💡Self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is the act of embracing and acknowledging one's own worth and abilities without being overly critical. The script highlights the importance of self-acceptance as a means to break free from the prison of other people's opinions and to live a life true to oneself.

Highlights

Embracing authenticity and overcoming the fear of embarrassment is key to personal growth and achieving goals.

The concept of shame is often a learned behavior from family and societal expectations.

Recognizing that shame is not innate can help individuals break free from limiting beliefs.

Forgiving oneself for past mistakes is crucial for personal evolution and moving forward.

Owning one's actions and embracing change can prevent others from using past errors as a means of control.

The importance of not letting the fear of embarrassment dictate one's life choices and actions.

Shame can act as a prison, confining individuals to the expectations of others.

The realization that people who shame others often do so out of their own insecurities.

Understanding that everyone has unique qualities and no one is perfect, which is completely normal.

The hypocrisy of people who judge others while engaging in the same behaviors themselves.

The idea that people's opinions are not facts and should not dictate one's self-worth.

The importance of trusting oneself and making decisions based on personal beliefs rather than external opinions.

The belief that everyone deserves happiness and should not be held back by the notion of 'struggle' being a necessity.

Shame as a fearful emotion that hinders progress and the success of those who overcome it.

The encouragement to start taking action now, regardless of past or future, focusing on the present moment.

The message that one should never dim their light to fit in with those who prefer darkness.

The final encouragement to believe in oneself and to take risks in pursuit of personal goals.

Transcripts

is embarrassment holding you back in

life are you constantly ashamed of doing

anything and you're constantly afraid of

other people's opinion so you don't

really get anything done honey that is

the biggest prison you can live in you

see the way I grew up was ever since I

was young I was told to care about my

reputation care about my family's

reputation and it was so indoctrinated

into my minds and into the minds of my

siblings to always act a certain way and

never shame the family because otherwise

you would be offed at some point I

started getting tired of it and I

realized that I cannot achieve anything

in life if I am going to follow this

mindset so I completely changed my life

around when I stopped feeling

embarrassed for anything and in this

video I will show you how you can do the

same before we get into the video I

would like to mention that this video is

sponsored by better help better help is

an online therapy platform that can

easily connect you with a licensed

therapist that can help with any issue

you might be facing better help also has

a network of over 30,000 therapists so

you can easily find a therapist that is

the right match for you however if the

therapist that you found is not the

right match better help allows you to

switch therapist with no additional

charge this means that you save a lot of

time and a lot of money the most

beneficial thing is that it's online

because if you cannot find a therapist

in your area or you have like really

struggled just finding a therapist in

general you can literally look online

and you have so many options I love that

also if you don't want to leave your

house and stuff that's like so

comfortable out of your couch out of

your bedroom you can just chat with your

therapist so to get started you feel out

a questionnaire to help assess your

specific wants and needs and then you

get matched to therapist in as little as

a few days you can choose to have a

video message or phone based session

whatever you are most comfortable with

you that you might benefit from therapy

then please click the link in the

description down below or visit

betterhelp.com

wizard list clicking that link will not

only help support this channel but it

also gives you 10% off your first month

at better he hi guys my name is Li and

welcome back to my channel okay let's

get into it first things first realize

that shame and embarrassment is not your

natural state why do I say this and we

are born as babies we are not born with

shame we are not born with embarrassment

we don't know what that is a baby just

authentically themselves a child is as

well until the parent starts to

indoctrinate them with their own belief

system that they have been taught from

their own parents you know it goes on

for generations and generations so they

put these belief systems that are toxic

onto their own children so the starts to

think like oh my God if I do this that's

going to be embarrassing oh my God if I

do this then that's going to be

embarrassing okay this is how I have to

act in society because this is what is

accepted so the child basically starts

to believe that if I do it this way then

I'll be accepted but it it starts to

neglect its authentic self now when this

happens the child becomes very insecure

and what happens later on is you have an

insecure adult because any issue that an

adult has comes from their childhood you

want to fix the adult go back to their

childhood so what you need to realize

then is okay I wasn't born with shame I

was not born with embarrassment I was

born with authentically being myself my

parents put the these limiting beliefs

onto me and then you have to ask

yourself now what do I believe what do I

stand for and I'm not saying like things

that are bad or go do criminal

activities but I mean if you're doing

something that doesn't harm anyone and

makes you happy then who is anyone to

say that you shouldn't be doing that

another thing is forgive yourself for

your past mistakes a lot of people still

carry shame from the past you might have

done something in the past that either

you did like to yourself and it was very

bad or you did to someone else and you

hurt them and it was very bad now you

might have evolved from that you learned

your mistake and you never repeated

again and you were truly remorseful okay

you changed and it's okay to acknowledge

that you have changed it's okay to say

I'm not that person anymore I don't

align with the person that I was years

before you know if you're constantly

going to blame yourself for what

happened in the past and constantly feel

like oh I don't deserve a good life

because I did this in the past then

you're self- sabotaging yourself honey

sometimes we have to move on you cannot

keep looking there and expect a bright

future to come because you're stuck in

the past and the past doesn't exist

anymore there's nothing you can do right

now and change the mistake you made

there's nothing you can do and change

what happened to you the only thing you

can do right now is look in front of you

look in the present and see okay what do

I have now what can I create now with

what I have how do I move forward also

realize that at some point you have to

let your your brain move on because a

lot of you guys you guys are constantly

replaying past mistakes past traumas all

these things and what happens is your

body and brain constantly believes

you're in the same state so what happens

is you're constantly still depressed you

never feel different than you felt

before and you know why I realized this

I was doing the same thing so constantly

I was trying to heal all my traumas I've

healed the big traumas then I was

working on any trauma there's left but

what happened then is I was constantly

still depressed why

because my brain believes that I'm still

in a traumatic State because anytime

there is a trauma that comes up I'm

hyperfocused on it and I'm triggered by

it instead of letting it slide and be

like okay you can go now this is the

past and not fighting it I would

hyperfixate on it and because of that I

was constantly still depressed no matter

if I even if I was out of the situation

I was still depressed you had heartbreak

right at some point you need to let go

of that Madness from it why because the

brain when it constantly feels that

sadness it thinks the situation is all

happening over and over and over again

if you constantly feel embarrassed for

something the brain thinks that you're

doing something embarrassing over and

over again so that is what you will

constantly feel you will constantly have

fear inside of yourself and you're never

able to move on and also own your

mistakes own whatever you did say okay I

did it if someone brings it up to you

and oh you used to be like this oh you

did this remember remember remember say

yes I remember and I changed and I

evolved what now what do you guys want

me to do now you if you are the one that

is constantly shaming yourself for the

thing that you did yeah that's when it

becomes embarrassing but when you own

that when you own what happened and when

you own what you're ashamed about no one

can hold it over your head only you have

power over that no one can make you feel

embarrassed no one can make you feel

ashamed when you like what you do when

you feel that you're like you know what

I'm doing a good thing I I like what I'm

putting out whether it's artistically

whether you're creating something and

you're like you know what I love what I

put out that's good enough no one can

make you feel embarrassed only you can

do that to yourself you can allow people

to make you feel like that another thing

is realize that shame is like living in

a prison of other people's minds you are

their little puppet they can make you

feel anything they can make you feel sad

they can make you feel happy like why

would you do that have you looked at

other people see all the people that are

trying to shame you embarrass you put

you down why do they want to put you

down because they see something in you

that you cannot see in yourself but they

see it people that are down no one puts

them down cuz they're not a competition

but it's always the people that have

something there's always the people that

have this thing in them whether it's a

light or an energy that people want to

bring down because they see something in

you and once you start to see that thing

in yourself you will be incredibly

powerful they cannot stop you a person

that understands who they are and their

power is Unstoppable why would you want

to live in a prison like that imagine

you're 80 years old tomorrow and you

realize I've lived my whole life for

other people I live my whole life just

for other people's opinion do you want

to live like that you know how fast we

age you know how fast you'll be 80 years

old and regret your whole life tomorrow

all of these people will die in the end

and then what and then what you lived

for them but they they aren't even here

anymore also the same people that you

care so much about about their opinion

and you don't want to embarrass yourself

in front of them these people are super

weird I've never met a person never I've

never met someone that is not weird that

they have weird like things they they

have weird behaviors but this is very

normal this is very normal this makes as

a human being so who are you trying to

impress here no one is perfect so you're

trying to portray a perfect image to

imperfect humans and that makes sense to

you in the same way people are

hypocrites okay the same things that

they will judge you for and shame you

for is the same thing that they will do

behind closed doors these people are the

ones that will will be the first one to

judge others why because they in day out

these people judge themselves they hate

themselves they're miserable so they

want to pick up other people so they

feel the same way don't lower yourself

for miserable people these people are in

the dark leave them there also

understand people switch sides very

quickly okay it's all fun and games and

everyone laughs in the beginning they'll

laugh at you when I was starting out my

social media everyone was laughing at me

because it was embarrassing and haha I

was a joke okay I'm not a joke anymore

now it's like oh I used to know her oh

my God I people make up stories that

they used to know me switch sides so

quickly once they see that someone

becomes popular or once they see that

other people like them because people

are so insecure the only thing they do

is follow the crowd are you trying to

impress these people these people you're

trying to live like whatever for these

people you're embarrassed of doing

anything just for these people that will

tomorrow be by your side once you make

it today they're shaming you tomorrow

they will say oh I used to know her also

just stop trying to be liked in in

general stop if someone tells you you're

smart that doesn't mean you're smart if

someone tells you you're stupid that

doesn't mean you're stupid okay these

are all comments from people from their

own perception of you none of it is

facts okay someone can tell you you're

smart but for someone else you're the

most stupid person on Earth same way not

everyone will find you pretty not

everyone will find you funny or like a

fun person or someone to look up to they

will not and is that wrong no because

people come from different culture

cultures people come from different

backgrounds they have a different like

Beauty standard all these things you

cannot fit in everywhere and start to be

okay with that not everyone will like

you in life once you are just so okay

with being disliked no one can take that

from you if like for me for example if

someone tells me like oh I don't like

your content

okay oh I don't think you're beautiful

okay oh I don't think you're smart okay

that's what you think is that fact no no

but that's what you think and you're

entitled to your opinion but I don't

care about your opinion you see also

understand how listening to other

people's opinions and whatever they

think is true when you start to do that

on a regular basis you will stop

trusting yourself when you don't trust

yourself you become very very insecure

what happens is imagine you have to make

a decision right because you feel like

you don't you are not capable of making

decisions on your own you constantly

consult other people you ask them what

you should do so you're living according

to their opinion so when something

happens and you have to decide for

yourself you'll be like oh no I I can

decide for myself you're like a child

you're like I can because I don't know I

don't know what's best for me but you do

you do these people don't these people

will never be in your shoes these people

don't know what it's like to be you so

who are you listening to people that can

only give outside

opinion you should be able to listen to

what comes in and out and you should be

observing in it okay but then still make

your own decision and still say I am the

one that I trust I am the one that I go

to to make the final decision and no one

else I'm the kind of person I will

consult people when I'm making a

decision but at the end I will always do

what I want and everyone knows this and

sometimes I make mistakes but you know

what I made the decision to make that

mistake so at the end I'm still

confident in myself because whether it

went wrong or whether it went right Liz

made the decision and not other people

because their opinions are not more

important than mine their voice is not

more important than mine also understand

that you deserve whatever blessing you

have or whatever blessing you want okay

God didn't put you on Earth to struggle

I want you to stop believing this this

is the most the biggest lie I've seen

people tell each other that oh we're

meant to Struggle No struggle is not

cool not in relationship not in

friendship not in work it it's not meant

to be a struggle if you need to struggle

to keep something together like a

relationship friendship or a job then

it's not for you something that is for

you you will not need to be struggling

for it you will not need to be desperate

for it it will align with you and it

will come in the highest way when you

need to struggle it's a sign it's not

for you and you're holding on to

something that you need to let go of

when you put those limitations on

yourself or you shame yourself for

wanting a better life or something

bigger or whatever you will not achieve

that thing because at the end of the day

even though you want it you're still

telling yourself that what you want is a

bad thing but who told you it's a bad

thing who told you because people always

say like oh if you want more like more

luxuries in your life you're a vain

person no maybe some people genuinely

like luxuries maybe they like living the

big life why do you care some people

genuinely don't want that some people

want a simple life and that that's also

good right why do you judge the one but

not the other whatever you want whatever

good you want you deserve it just

because you're alive just because you're

on this Earth and you can create the

most beautiful life for yourself you

don't have to listen to people that say

like Oh no you're supposed to suffer no

no no you're supposed to suffer take

that all that suffering on this Earth

and put it onto you okay you have that

miserable life but when I'm 80 tomorrow

honey I have my best life I know this

for sure Liz lived her best life also

realize that shame is a fearful emotion

and it keeps you stuck see the people

that have no embarrassment and have have

no shame they get the furest in life you

you can see them online a lot of people

online are making so much money and a

lot of people are laughing at them but

they're also laughing from their

Mansions at you guys so who who has the

last laugh cuz at the end of the day

they're still creating their stuff

they're still putting it out there yeah

you find it funny but they have don't

have a lot of financial issues anymore

and they're the one getting financially

blessed because they're not afraid to be

themselves online when you constantly

have is like oh this is not good enough

oh this will be embarrassing oh this and

that yeah you will not create anything

you will not do anything in your life

and you'll live a whole life wasted

thinking about like oh my God people

would have find this embarrassing it's

embarrassing to be old and have a life

lived for other people and last but not

least I want you to realize that you are

good enough now you are good enough now

who you are with what you have and

that's what you have to do right now you

have to like be who you are take what

you have and create what you

can don't look at oh my God I used to oh

my God I am going to what do you have

now what can we do now with what you

have okay what what can we create what

are you good at what do you love to do

what do you want to improve I used to

have this me mentality of like oh if I

do this and if I'm at that State then I

will start and then I will do it and I

was constantly seeking a Perfection that

will never be there because like I said

people might look at you someone might

say oh this perfect another person might

say this is and both are not

wrong you know it's their opinion so you

can never reach that Perfection so for

example if I hadn't started three years

ago with my YouTube channel I would not

be where I'm at right now which is much

more wisdom about things I read much

more I also learned these things whilst

I was going you know but imagine I had

never uploaded my first video 3 years

ago I would not be in this position

imagine I was scared of people or I I

was scared because all my family this

and that no this was beneficial for

everyone at the end okay and I took that

risk because I believed in myself when

no one believed in me I believed in

myself and I refuse to give up on myself

and you should do the same

thing other people will never show up

for you like you have to show up for

yourself you

know one day it's going to be you like

when you're sick or whatever or or like

you don't look good anymore or whatever

like so a lot of people will leave your

life because they cannot benefit from

you anymore but who has to stay with you

you you you're the only one you will

always have in the end and that's the

one you're neglecting for people that

will leave your life tomorrow if you

can't benefit them never ever dim your

lights for people that enjoy being in

the darkness anyways guys thank you so

much for watching but before I go I want

to mention that I have created something

with my agency and team we have created

something very beautiful some products

that I love and I know you guys will

love to I have the website linked the

store downstairs in the description if

you can click on it and if you can write

down your email and also click on the

survey so that we can understand what

you guys want in the

future that will be very helpful and I'm

just so excited I cannot wait to share

what it is and yeah okay um I love you

guys so much and yeah thank you so much

for watching love you I hope this helped

bye