122. How To Be More Confident and Calm in Your Communication: Managing the "ABC’s" of...

Summary

This podcast episode from Stanford Graduate School of Business focuses on overcoming communication anxiety through the ABCs of anxiety management: effective behavioral and cognitive techniques. Host Matt Abrahams discusses strategies like mindfulness, reframing negative thoughts, deep breathing, and physical warm-ups to enhance confidence and competence in high-stakes situations. Listeners are encouraged to create personalized anxiety management plans to optimize their communication skills.

Takeaways

• 🎓 The Stanford Graduate School of Business offers a LEAD online program for business professionals to enhance their skills and innovation mindset, with applications accepted until February 7th.
• 🗣️ Effective communication is closely tied to confidence, with competence being perceived by the audience when one is confident, but it's important to avoid overconfidence or arrogance.
• 🔍 Anxiety is the primary barrier to confident communication, affecting a significant majority of people in high-stakes situations, both spoken and written.
• 🧘 Mindfulness techniques can help manage anxiety by acknowledging negative feelings and recognizing that feeling nervous is normal.
• 💡 Professor Christian Wheeler emphasizes that it's normal to feel anxious in spontaneous situations and that the problem arises when we feel bad about being anxious.
• 🤗 Kelly McGonigal suggests reframing anxiety as a signal that we care, which can shift our perspective on the purpose of communication.
• 🌀 Deep breathing, especially emphasizing exhalation, can help control the autonomic nervous system and reduce anxiety's behavioral symptoms.
• 🏋️ Physical warm-ups, like those used in sports, can also be applied to communication to help calm the body and prepare for speaking.
• 💭 Cognitive symptoms of anxiety, such as flustered thinking or negative self-talk, can be mitigated by changing our mindset and using positive affirmations.
• 📋 Creating an Anxiety Management Plan (AMP) with 3-5 techniques from effective, behavioral, and cognitive categories can help individuals manage their anxiety in high-stakes communication scenarios.
• 📝 Encouragement to test and iterate on personal AMPs, sharing successful strategies with the Think Fast, Talk Smart community for collective learning.

Q & A

What is the Stanford Graduate School of Business LEAD online business program?

The LEAD online business program is a year-long online initiative by Stanford Graduate School of Business, where participants can refine their fundamental business skills, connect with a global network, and develop an innovation mindset.

What is the deadline for applying to the LEAD program mentioned in the script?

The application deadline for the LEAD program is February 7th.

Who is Matt Abrahams and what does he teach at Stanford Graduate School of Business?

Matt Abrahams is a lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, where he teaches Strategic Communication.

What is the core equation for confident communication according to Matt Abrahams?

The core equation for confident communication is 'confidence equals competence', meaning the more confident a person is, the more competent and credible they appear to their audience.

What is the biggest barrier to confident communication as discussed in the script?

The biggest barrier to confident communication is anxiety, which affects a majority of people in high-stakes communication situations.

What percentage of people reportedly feel anxious in high-stakes communication situations?

Over 75% of people feel anxious in high-stakes communication situations.

What are the ABCs of anxiety management mentioned in the script?

The ABCs of anxiety management stand for effective behavioral and cognitive strategies, which include techniques to manage feelings, behaviors, and thoughts during stressful communication scenarios.

What does Professor Christian Wheeler suggest about anxiety and its relation to being unprepared?

Professor Christian Wheeler suggests that anxiety is a common response even when giving a planned, scripted presentation, and it becomes worse in uncontrollable circumstances like a Q&A session or making spontaneous remarks.

How does Kelly McGonigal view anxiety and how can it be reframed?

Kelly McGonigal views anxiety as a signal that one cares about the situation and suggests reframing anxiety as excitement to change one's mindset and response to the situation.

What advice does Andrew Huberman give regarding deep breathing to control autonomic nervous system responses?

Andrew Huberman advises emphasizing the exhale part of breathing to activate the calming arm of the nervous system more rapidly, and suggests doing a double inhale before a long exhale to help calm down.

What is an 'Anxiety Management Plan' or AMP as suggested by Matt Abrahams?

An Anxiety Management Plan (AMP) is a personalized strategy that individuals can use to manage their anxiety symptoms and sources, helping them to feel more comfortable and confident during high-stakes communication.

What is the recommended approach to create an effective AMP according to the script?

To create an effective AMP, one should select three to five techniques from the effective, behavioral, and cognitive categories that they believe will help them feel more at ease and confident, and then test and adjust the plan as needed.

How does the script suggest we deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety like sweating or a dry mouth?

The script suggests physical hacks such as holding a cold bottle of water to reduce sweating, sucking a lozenge, chewing gum, or drinking warm water to combat a dry mouth.

What is the significance of reframing negative self-talk as discussed by Alia Crum and Alison Wood Brooks?

Reframe negative self-talk into positive affirmations to redirect thoughts and approach speaking with a more positive mindset, which can help in reducing anxiety and enhancing communication.

What is the purpose of the 'Think Fast, Talk Smart The Podcast' as described in the script?

The purpose of 'Think Fast, Talk Smart The Podcast' is to provide insights and techniques to help individuals communicate more effectively and confidently, particularly in high-stakes situations.