Where I've Been

Summary

In this raw and heartfelt video, the speaker offers a sincere apology and explanation for past behavior involving a 14-year-old they befriended online. After engaging in inappropriate conversations and failing to act on red flags, the speaker expresses deep regret for not ending the relationship sooner and for their lack of boundaries. They acknowledge the harm caused and explain that they sought therapy to make progress. The video serves as both an apology and a commitment to change, with the speaker promising to return to YouTube only after getting the necessary professional help.

Takeaways

• 😀 The video serves both as an expose and an apology.
• 😀 The speaker admits to being unscripted, expressing genuine emotions and vulnerability.
• 😀 The speaker met a 14-year-old and began talking to them, which eventually turned flirty.
• 😀 The speaker acknowledges that they didn’t immediately block the individual after inappropriate messages were sent, leading to feelings of regret.
• 😀 The speaker is apologetic for not blocking the individual earlier, even though they didn’t intend for the interactions to be sexual or romantic.
• 😀 The speaker's main concern was not wanting to lose the person as a friend, which led to poor decision-making.
• 😀 The speaker confirmed they asked the individual about their consent, but still made an unhealthy choice after receiving confirmation of legal consent.
• 😀 The speaker admits to feeling stupid and foolish for continuing the conversations instead of cutting ties when things went wrong.
• 😀 The speaker expresses deep regret and an apology, taking full responsibility for their actions.
• 😀 The speaker is attending therapy and is making progress in bettering themselves.
• 😀 The speaker plans to return to YouTube only after they’ve received the necessary professional help and are confident that they’ve fully changed.

Q & A

Why does the speaker say this video is both an expose and an apology?

The speaker is revealing a past mistake and offering a heartfelt apology for their actions, making the video a combination of owning up to their behavior (expose) and seeking forgiveness (apology).

What is the significance of the speaker mentioning the video is unscripted?

The speaker is emphasizing that their words are genuine and not pre-planned, showing vulnerability and sincerity in their apology and reflection on their actions.

Who was the person the speaker was interacting with, and what was the nature of their conversations?

The person was around 14 years old at the time, and their conversations eventually became flirtatious, which the speaker found troubling but did not initially address.

Why does the speaker feel regretful about not blocking the individual sooner?

The speaker feels that they should have ended the friendship and blocked the individual when the situation began to escalate, particularly when inappropriate conversations started, such as the drawing and flirtatious remarks.

What is the 'boobas on your head' incident, and why does the speaker bring it up?

The 'boobas on your head' incident refers to an inappropriate drawing sent by the younger individual, which made the speaker uncomfortable. The speaker uses this event as an example of why they should have acted differently by blocking the person immediately.

How did the speaker respond when asked about making out, and why did they agree?

When asked if they wanted to make out, the speaker initially hesitated and asked if the individual was comfortable, later agreeing after getting confirmation about the age of consent in their location. The speaker admits that they said yes not out of desire, but out of fear of losing the friendship.

What was the speaker's thought process behind agreeing to the flirtatious suggestions?

The speaker admits that their decision was largely driven by a fear of losing the friendship, rather than any romantic or sexual desire, which they now recognize as a poor and harmful choice.

What does the speaker mean by 'transsexual' in their reflection?

The speaker refers to the topic becoming sexually inappropriate when it turned to discussions related to transsexuality, acknowledging that the conversations took a harmful direction.

Why is the speaker apologizing so earnestly in the video?

The speaker is deeply regretful and apologetic for not handling the situation better, recognizing the harm in their actions, and genuinely seeking forgiveness. They acknowledge how wrong their behavior was and express remorse for not setting clear boundaries.

How does the speaker plan to move forward after the situation?

The speaker is actively seeking therapy to address their issues and make progress in their personal development. They also state that they will return to YouTube only after receiving the necessary professional help and being sure they have addressed their mistakes.