Speaking About Suicide | Kirk Woodring | TEDxDeerfield

Summary

The speaker shares a deeply personal and urgent message about the growing suicide epidemic in the United States. Using the story of his brother Kyle, a talented musician who died by suicide despite personal and professional success, he highlights the warning signs of isolation, perceived burden, and reduced fear of death. Drawing on research and his experience as a clinical social worker, he emphasizes the importance of speaking openly about suicide, asking direct questions, and offering non-judgmental support. The talk combines statistics, personal narrative, and actionable guidance to inspire awareness, empathy, and proactive intervention that can save lives.

Takeaways

• 😀 Suicide rates in the United States have increased by as much as 60% in some states over the last 10 years, and suicide now causes more deaths than motor vehicle accidents.
• 😀 In the next 15 minutes of this presentation, two people in the United States will die by suicide, highlighting the urgent need for intervention.
• 😀 Suicide is an incredibly personal issue and is often surrounded by silence and stigma, making it difficult for people to seek help.
• 😀 Personal stories, like the speaker's brother Kyle's story, are vital in helping others understand the depth of pain and the challenges individuals facing suicide go through.
• 😀 The speaker's brother, Kyle, had multiple suicide attempts over 28 years, showing how people who are suicidal may become more skilled at planning and carrying out their suicide attempts over time.
• 😀 Research by psychologist Thomas Joiner shows that suicidal individuals often feel isolated, like a burden on others, and experience a lack of fear about dying.
• 😀 Asking people directly about suicide does not increase their risk of suicide. It can actually create an opportunity for them to open up and be heard.
• 😀 It’s important to speak the word 'suicide' aloud when discussing it, as it helps make the conversation more open and clear, reducing stigma.
• 😀 Even professionals who know the right questions to ask may still hesitate to ask loved ones about suicide, which can prevent them from offering the support needed.
• 😀 Being non-judgmental, empathetic, and open in conversations about suicide is crucial. It shows that you care and might be the support someone needs to keep going.

Q & A

What is the central crisis discussed in the presentation?

The presentation focuses on the suicide crisis in the United States, emphasizing the significant rise in suicide rates over the past decade and its increasing impact, now surpassing motor vehicle accidents in terms of deaths.

Why is the speaker sharing their personal story?

The speaker shares their personal story to highlight the emotional and personal toll of suicide, and to stress the importance of recognizing the signs of suicidality and addressing the topic openly.

What was Kyle's first suicide attempt, and how did the family respond?

Kyle's first suicide attempt occurred when he was 15 years old, after ingesting a bottle of pills. The family took him to the emergency room, but the incident was never openly discussed, and the family did not address it properly, thinking it was just typical teenage angst.

How did Kyle’s behavior evolve over time regarding his suicidality?

Over the years, Kyle became increasingly adept at attempting suicide. He engaged in risky behaviors like jumping out of airplanes and off hot-air balloons, becoming more familiar with methods of suicide as he tried different ways to die.

What is Thomas Joiner's research on suicide, and how does it relate to the speaker's brother?

Thomas Joiner's research identifies three key factors in suicidality: feelings of isolation, a sense of being a burden on others, and a lack of fear of death. These characteristics are reflected in Kyle’s behavior, including his increased attempts and lack of fear regarding death.

What was the last interaction the speaker had with Kyle?

The last interaction the speaker had with Kyle was in March 2009, when they spent time together skiing and playing music. They said 'I love you' to each other before Kyle left, but the speaker didn’t sense the depth of his struggles at that time.

What role does silence play in the handling of suicide, according to the speaker?

Silence around suicide creates a barrier to addressing it. In both personal and community contexts, silence perpetuates stigma and prevents people from openly discussing their struggles or seeking help.

What is the significance of asking about suicidality directly?

Asking someone directly about suicide, despite the discomfort, is crucial because it opens up a safe space for them to express their feelings. It does not make them more suicidal but shows that someone is listening and cares.

How does the speaker's professional background relate to their experience with Kyle?

The speaker is a clinical social worker and crisis intervention expert. Despite their professional background and experience with suicidality, they never asked Kyle about his struggles, which is a source of deep regret.

What key message does the speaker want to leave with the audience?

The speaker urges the audience to speak openly and non-judgmentally about suicide. By using the word 'suicide' and asking directly about it, they can help alleviate the stigma and potentially save lives.