YOU'RE the REASON people don’t RESPECT you (But You Can Change That)

Summary

This video explores the subtle ways people disrespect others and how we can shift the dynamics in these situations. It emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and presence, encouraging viewers to respond with clarity and calm rather than defensiveness or silence. The speaker explains that respect is not automatic but is shaped by how we carry ourselves, how we speak, and what we tolerate. The key message is that by setting boundaries and showing confidence, we can command respect without needing to demand it, fostering unshakeable presence in any interaction.

Takeaways

• 😀 Respect is not automatic; it's shaped by how we carry ourselves, how we speak, and what we tolerate.
• 😀 When people disrespects us, it’s often a reflection of their own insecurities, not about us personally.
• 😀 The way we respond to subtle disrespect can either reinforce or change the dynamic, depending on how we handle it.
• 😀 People make quick judgments about us based on our body language, tone, and presence—this affects how we’re treated.
• 😀 Confidence doesn’t require loudness; it’s about aligning your energy, voice, and presence.
• 😀 We are often taught to accommodate others, but setting boundaries and not tolerating disrespect is essential for gaining respect.
• 😀 The first few seconds of entering a room or meeting set the tone for how people will perceive and treat us.
• 😀 Presenting your ideas with confidence, without softening them with disclaimers, leads to greater respect and attentiveness from others.
• 😀 Emotional control is key when responding to disrespect—pausing before reacting allows for intentional, steady responses.
• 😀 You don't have to prove or over-explain yourself to gain respect. Simply embodying the way you want to be treated is enough.
• 😀 Protecting your dignity and not letting others undermine you, without raising your voice, makes your presence unshakeable.

Q & A

Why do people sometimes disrespect others subtly, and what does it usually reveal about them?

Subtle disrespect often stems from a desire to gain control, boost their own ego, or shift focus. Many times, it's not about the other person but about the person making the comment trying to feel bigger, smarter, or more confident. Ironically, those who do this are often the most insecure.

How can people unintentionally teach others to disrespect them?

People may unintentionally teach others to disrespect them by tolerating bad behavior, being overly accommodating, avoiding confrontation, or downplaying their own feelings. This creates a pattern where others begin to assume it's okay to treat them this way.

What role does 'presence' play in how people are treated in social settings?

Presence is crucial because it signals confidence and command. People who exude calm, grounded energy naturally command attention and respect. It's not about being the loudest but about owning the space you take up, which impacts how others perceive and treat you.

What is the key difference between responding emotionally and responding with emotional control?

Responding emotionally means reacting impulsively, while responding with emotional control involves pausing, staying calm, and choosing a thoughtful, intentional response. Emotional control allows you to reset the dynamic without escalating the situation.

How do first impressions affect how people treat you?

First impressions are vital because they shape people's perceptions of you. People quickly assess others based on subtle cues like posture, tone, and energy. If you seem confident and steady, people are more likely to treat you with respect from the start.

What is the impact of downplaying your own feelings in social situations?

Downplaying your feelings or pretending everything is fine when it's not sends the message that you will tolerate disrespect. This behavior can lead others to continue testing your boundaries, making it harder to command respect in future interactions.

How can someone assert themselves without being aggressive or dominant?

You can assert yourself by calmly and confidently stating your boundaries or expectations. This can be done with a steady voice, clear tone, and firm but respectful language, signaling to others that you won’t tolerate disrespect without being overly confrontational.

Why is emotional control considered a powerful skill in handling disrespect?

Emotional control is powerful because it allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting emotionally. It shows that you are in control of the situation and aren't easily flustered, which can disarm the person who tried to undermine you.

What are some subtle ways people can disrespect others in conversations?

Some subtle ways people disrespect others include cutting them off mid-sentence, making sarcastic jokes at their expense, or undercutting their ideas with passive-aggressive comments. These actions are often done to shift focus, control the dynamic, or feel superior.

How can someone shift the dynamic after being subtly disrespected in a group setting?

After being disrespected, you can shift the dynamic by staying calm, pausing before responding, and addressing the behavior assertively. For example, you could ask for clarification on the disrespectful comment, or simply redirect the conversation without acknowledging the disrespect, signaling that it's not worth your energy.