3 ways to resolve a conflict | Dorothy Walker | TED Institute

Summary

This video script narrates the contagious nature of human emotions and energy, illustrated by a touching homecoming of a veteran. It delves into the concept of 'energy transference' and its impact on conflict resolution. The speaker, pursuing a PhD in dispute resolution, shares insights from experienced mediators, emphasizing the innate and learnable skill of positive energy transference in daily life conflicts. The script outlines three steps for conflict resolution: preparation, diffusing and moving towards collaboration, and reaching a consensus, highlighting the importance of all parties' willingness to resolve the conflict.

Takeaways

• 😭 Emotional Impact: The video begins with a touching story of a veteran's homecoming, illustrating the power of emotions and how they can be contagious.
• 🌟 Energy Transference: The concept of energy transference is introduced, highlighting how personal feelings, moods, and attitudes can influence others.
• 🔄 Negative to Positive Shift: Positive energy can shift people's energy from negative to neutral or positive, whereas negative energy can upset others.
• 🌐 Global Impact: Long-standing disputes can have a worldwide impact, causing pain and suffering, which motivates the speaker to pursue a PhD in dispute resolution.
• 🔍 Research Findings: The speaker's research involved interviewing professional mediators who agreed that positive energy transference is both innate and a learnable skill.
• 👥 Universal Mediation: Everyone has the potential to act as a mediator in various settings, from formal mediations to everyday conflicts.
• ⚠️ Conflict Resolution Prerequisite: For successful conflict resolution, all parties must be willing to work towards a resolution.
• 📅 Preparation for Mediation: The importance of preparing for a conflict by setting a future date and time when emotions have settled is emphasized.
• 👂 Active Listening and Questioning: In conflict resolution, asking neutral questions can help diffuse tension and shift the conversation towards collaboration.
• 🤝 Seeking Consensus: Once negative energy has subsided, it's crucial to seek a consensus, either verbally or in writing, to ensure a peaceful resolution.
• 💡 Positive Energy Power: The speaker believes that everyone can harness their positive energy, derived from compassion, empathy, and sincere intentions, to resolve conflicts.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the video?

The main topic of the video is the concept of energy transference and how positive energy can be used to resolve conflicts.

What example is given at the beginning of the video to illustrate energy transference?

The example given is of a veteran surprising his wife and children, which resulted in a highly emotional and positive energy transfer among the family members and even the viewers.

What are the three steps mentioned for resolving conflicts using positive energy?

The three steps are: 1) Prepare, 2) Diffuse and move forward, and 3) Make an agreement.

Why is it important to prepare before mediating a conflict?

It's important to prepare to allow emotions and energy to settle, and to be ready to shift positive energy into the mediation process.

What is one technique suggested for diffusing conflict and moving forward?

One technique is to observe, listen, and ask neutral questions to make people stop and think, which helps diffuse negative energy and facilitates collaboration.

Can you give an example of a neutral question that can help diffuse conflict?

An example of a neutral question is, 'What do you think about this new change?' which helps validate people’s feelings and encourages collaboration.

What is the significance of making an agreement in the conflict resolution process?

Making an agreement, whether verbal or written, solidifies the consensus reached and ensures that all parties have a clear understanding of the resolution steps.

How does the speaker describe the nature of energy in a conflict resolution setting?

The speaker describes energy as constantly moving and changing in a conflict resolution setting, and emphasizes the importance of shifting it to positive energy to reach a resolution.

What personal experience does the speaker share about the importance of willingness in conflict resolution?

The speaker shares a personal experience from their first marriage, where a divorce counselor asked if they wanted to work things out. The lack of willingness to resolve the conflict led to the counselor being unable to help.

What professional background does the speaker have in relation to conflict resolution?

The speaker has a PhD in dispute resolution and has conducted research by interviewing 11 professional mediators and facilitators with extensive experience.

What are some settings where the speaker suggests positive energy transference can be used?

Positive energy transference can be used in formal mediations, business mergers, workplace conflicts, personal arguments between friends or strangers, and even family disputes at home.