(ko, en, ja, Viet) 한국인이 꼭 알아야 할 칭찬의 방법 | 김경일 아주대학교 심리학과 교수 | 칭찬 소통 심리학 | 세바시 1170회

Summary

In this insightful talk, Gyeong-il Kim from Ajou University's psychology department explores the art of giving effective compliments. He emphasizes the importance of complimenting effort over talent to foster a growth mindset and discusses the power of personality-based compliments. Kim also highlights the unique cultural perspective of Koreans on relationships and how acknowledging these relationships in compliments can deeply impact individuals, encouraging a more respectful and meaningful form of praise.

Takeaways

• 😀 Compliment one's effort rather than their talent to encourage hard work and reduce fear of failure.
• 😊 Include the person's name in compliments to make them feel recognized and valued.
• 👍 Compliment unintended or unconscious good actions to reinforce positive behavior and self-perception.
• 🙌 Relationships are central in Korean culture, and compliments should respect and acknowledge these relationships.
• 🤝 Koreans often use 'our' to describe personal relationships, indicating the importance of relationships in self-identity.
• 🏆 Compliments that ignore relationships can cause distress and anxiety, especially in workplace and family settings.
• 🌟 Respect and understand the values and strengths of different generations when giving compliments.
• 💬 Compliments should reflect an understanding of the recipient's peer culture and generational context.
• ❤️ Beneficial compliments in Korea include acknowledging the importance of relationships and the strengths of different generations.
• 😊 Effective compliments lead to stronger bonds and mutual respect between individuals, regardless of age or social status.

Q & A

What is the main idea of the lecture given by Gyeong-il Kim?

The lecture discusses the importance and methods of giving effective compliments, emphasizing efforts, personality, unintended good actions, and respecting relationships.

Why is it better to compliment someone's effort rather than their talent?

Complimenting effort encourages the person to value hard work and perseverance, while complimenting talent can make them fear failure and avoid trying new challenges.

What is the impact of omitting a person's name when giving a compliment?

Omitting a person's name can make the compliment feel insincere and humiliating, as it disregards the individual's contribution and effort.

How can complimenting unintended good actions be beneficial?

Complimenting unintended good actions helps the person recognize and reinforce their positive traits, encouraging them to strive to be better.

What cultural characteristic makes Koreans unique in their approach to compliments?

Koreans have a relationship-oriented culture where the self is defined by relationships with others. This influences how they give and receive compliments, often incorporating respect for these relationships.

How does the Korean use of 'our' in personal contexts reflect their cultural values?

The use of 'our' instead of 'my' reflects the importance of relationships and collective identity in Korean culture.

What negative effect can arise from ignoring relationships when giving compliments in a workplace?

Ignoring relationships when giving compliments can make the recipient anxious and distrustful, as it disregards the social bonds that are important to them.

Why do Korean self-introductory letters focus on relationships rather than individual achievements?

Korean self-introductory letters focus on relationships because Koreans view their identity in the context of their relationships with others, rather than as isolated individuals.

What common misunderstanding occurs between different generations when giving compliments?

Different generations may not understand the values and relationships that are important to each other, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of disrespect when giving compliments.

How can acknowledging generational values improve the effectiveness of compliments?

Acknowledging generational values shows respect and understanding, making the compliment more meaningful and fostering stronger bonds between people of different ages.