How to NEVER FIGHT with a woman: the greatest victory requires no battle

Summary

Dr. Orion Taban's talk on 'Psyx: Better Living Through Psychology' offers insights on avoiding conflicts with women, emphasizing that winning an argument is futile due to women's emotional nature. He suggests that selecting the right partner is crucial for a peaceful relationship and advises men to eliminate negative emotions from their communication to prevent escalation. Taban also highlights the importance of maintaining warmth in communication to avoid provoking anxiety and insecurity in women, advocating for mindful speech that fosters understanding and harmony.

Takeaways

• 😀 **Avoid Conflict**: Dr. Orion Taban emphasizes the importance of not engaging in fights with women, as they are often emotionally charged and can't be 'won'.
• 🏆 **No-Win Situation**: Winning or losing an argument with a woman can both result in a loss, highlighting the futility of such conflicts.
• 🌟 **Embrace Peace**: The speaker advocates for a peaceful approach to relationships, which he finds more rewarding and enjoyable.
• 🔍 **Appropriate Selection**: A key to a successful relationship is choosing the right partner, someone who is not prone to drama or emotional instability.
• 🙅‍♂️ **Self-Examination**: Men should examine their own reasons for keeping women with negative traits in their lives.
• 👀 **Identify Early**: It's crucial to recognize and stop pursuing women who display undesirable traits early in the relationship.
• 💡 **Cultivate Optionality**: Men should avoid becoming emotionally entangled until they are sure of a woman's suitability for a peaceful relationship.
• 🌱 **Positive Communication**: The speaker advises men to remove any negative emotions from their communication to prevent conflict escalation.
• 🌕 **Feminine Nature**: Women, likened to the Moon, are said to magnify and reflect the emotional 'light' given to them by men.
• 🔥 **Remove Irritation**: Even a hint of irritation can be magnified by women, leading to a cycle of negative reactions.
• 🤔 **Mindfulness**: Developing mindfulness of one's words, emotions, and expressions is key to maintaining a conflict-free relationship.
• 🚫 **Avoid Judgment**: Men should aim to disagree or correct without judgment or contempt to maintain harmony.
• 💖 **Emotionally Present**: While negative emotions should be avoided, maintaining emotional presence in communication is important for connection and understanding.

Q & A

What is the main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk?

The main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk is how to avoid fighting with a woman and the benefits of maintaining a peaceful relationship.

Why does Dr. Taban believe that fighting with a woman is pointless?

Dr. Taban believes that fighting with a woman is pointless because, due to the emotional nature of most women, a man cannot win; whether he loses or wins, the outcome is still a loss.

What is the 'unbreakable rule' that Dr. Taban refers to in his talk?

The 'unbreakable rule' Dr. Taban refers to is the principle that the greatest victory is one that requires no battle, which is applicable to avoiding conflicts in relationships.

What does Dr. Taban suggest is the key to a peaceful and easygoing relationship with a woman?

Dr. Taban suggests that the key to a peaceful and easygoing relationship with a woman is choosing the right person who is not disagreeable, provocative, or addicted to drama.

What does Dr. Taban mean by 'cultivating optionality' in the context of dating?

Cultivating optionality means becoming comfortable with having multiple potential partners and not becoming too emotionally entangled with one person until it's clear they are a good fit for a peaceful relationship.

How does Dr. Taban describe the process of dating in his talk?

Dr. Taban describes the process of dating as an extended hiring process, where one should be selective and not hesitate to stop pursuing someone who doesn't seem like a good fit.

What does Dr. Taban suggest is the feminine nature according to his talk?

Dr. Taban suggests that the feminine nature is to magnify and reflect what is given to them, similar to how the Moon reflects the light of the Sun.

Why does Dr. Taban advise men to remove negative emotions from their communication with women?

Dr. Taban advises this because any hint of negative emotion can be magnified by women and reflected back, potentially escalating into a conflict.

What is the importance of maintaining a certain level of emotion in communication with women according to Dr. Taban?

Maintaining a certain level of emotion in communication is important because removing all emotion can make a woman feel insecure and threatened, potentially provoking her anxiety.

How does Dr. Taban recommend disagreeing, correcting, or checking a woman without causing a negative reaction?

Dr. Taban recommends doing so by ensuring that the tone is free of irritation, contempt, or negative judgment, and by communicating with warmth and empathy.

What does Dr. Taban suggest is the best way to handle disagreements with women?

The best way to handle disagreements, according to Dr. Taban, is to ensure that the communication is free of negative emotions and is imbued with warmth and understanding.

Outlines

00:00

🤝 Avoiding Conflict with Women: A Man's Perspective

Dr. Orion Taban introduces the concept of avoiding conflicts with women, emphasizing that it's futile to fight with them due to their emotional nature. He suggests that the key to a peaceful relationship lies in choosing the right partner and maintaining a respectful and drama-free interaction. He also touches on the importance of self-reflection to understand why certain individuals might attract such women into their lives. Dr. Taban advises men to be mindful of their tone and communication, ensuring it is free from negative emotions, as women are likely to amplify and reflect any negativity back. He likens women to 'incubators', capable of magnifying and reflecting what they receive, drawing parallels to the Moon reflecting the Sun's light.

05:02

🌕 The Feminine Principle of Magnification and Reflection

In this section, Dr. Taban delves into the feminine principle of magnification and reflection, explaining that women are likely to amplify any negative emotions they perceive in a man's communication. He advises men to remove any hint of judgment, condescension, or annoyance from their tone to prevent conflict. The speaker also discusses the importance of maintaining emotional presence in communication, warning against the provocation that can arise from an overly rational and emotionless tone. He suggests that a balance is needed, where men communicate with warmth and without negative emotions, to foster understanding and avoid provoking women's insecurities.

10:03

🔄 Balancing Emotion in Communication for Healthy Relationships

Dr. Taban concludes by discussing the importance of balancing emotion in communication to maintain healthy relationships with women. He emphasizes that while it's crucial to eliminate negative emotions from one's tone, it's equally important to retain a sense of warmth and emotional connection. He suggests that this approach can lead to more open and receptive communication, where disagreements can be addressed without provoking a reactive response. The speaker invites feedback on the topic and encourages viewers to like, subscribe, and become channel members for additional perks, highlighting the support of the community as essential for the channel's growth.

Keywords

💡Conflict-free relationship

A conflict-free relationship is one where disagreements and arguments are minimized or effectively managed. In the video, Dr. Orion Taban emphasizes the importance of establishing such a relationship with a woman, suggesting that it starts with choosing the right person and maintaining a peaceful and easygoing dynamic. The concept is central to the video's theme of avoiding unnecessary fights and promoting harmony in relationships.

💡Emotional nature

Emotional nature refers to the inherent tendency of individuals to experience and express emotions. The script discusses how the emotional nature of most women can make conflicts with them unwinnable, as their emotional responses can escalate disputes. This concept is used to explain why it's crucial for men to approach communication with women in a way that avoids triggering negative emotional reactions.

💡Appropriate selection

Appropriate selection in the context of the video means choosing the right person for a relationship. Dr. Taban suggests that 90% of a successful relationship's success is due to this factor. It implies that finding a partner who is easygoing and not prone to drama is essential for a peaceful relationship, which is a key strategy to avoid conflicts.

💡Optionality

Optionality is the power to choose or the state of having options. In the script, Dr. Taban advises men to cultivate optionality in their dating lives, meaning they should not limit themselves to one potential partner but keep their options open until they find someone suitable for a peaceful, conflict-free relationship.

💡Emotional entanglement

Emotional entanglement refers to becoming deeply involved emotionally with someone. The video cautions against becoming emotionally entangled with a woman until it's clear that she can maintain a peaceful and conflict-free relationship. This concept is tied to the idea of avoiding unnecessary emotional investments that could lead to conflict.

💡Clarify

To clarify, in the context of the video, means to make clear or free from ambiguity. Dr. Taban advises men to clarify their tone when speaking with women, removing any hint of annoyance or negative emotion to prevent conflict. This term is central to the video's message on how men can communicate effectively to avoid arguments.

💡Magnify and reflect

Magnify and reflect is a concept used to describe how women, according to the video, tend to amplify and mirror the emotions they receive from others. Dr. Taban uses this idea to explain why even small signs of negative emotion from men can lead to significant emotional reactions from women, thus escalating conflicts.

💡Feminine principle

The feminine principle, as discussed in the video, refers to the inherent qualities and tendencies associated with femininity, such as the ability to magnify and reflect emotions. It is used to explain the behavior of women in relationships and the importance of men understanding these principles to maintain harmony.

💡Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and aware of one's thoughts, emotions, and surroundings. In the script, Dr. Taban suggests that men should practice mindfulness to be perpetually aware of their words, emotions, and expressions, which can help in maintaining a conflict-free relationship by avoiding negative communication.

💡Emotionally invested

Being emotionally invested means having a deep emotional connection or commitment to someone or something. The video points out that women can become anxious and insecure if they feel that men are not emotionally invested in the relationship. Men are advised to ensure their communication conveys warmth and emotional connection to avoid provoking negative reactions.

💡Intersex understanding

Intersex understanding refers to the comprehension of the differences between male and female communication styles and emotional responses. The video suggests that a lack of intersex understanding can lead to miscommunication and conflict. Men are advised to be aware of how their communication can be perceived by women to foster a healthier relationship dynamic.

Highlights

Dr. Orion Taban emphasizes the futility of fighting with women, suggesting that it's a losing battle due to the emotional nature of conflicts.

The speaker shares his personal experience of avoiding fights with women and the positive impact on his life.

A successful relationship is attributed to choosing the right person, which is considered 90% of the battle.

The importance of identifying and avoiding women who are disagreeable, provocative, or addicted to drama early in the relationship.

The analogy of dating as an extended hiring process, where difficult women should be let go early on.

The concept of 'optionality' in dating, suggesting that men should not become emotionally entangled until the right person is identified.

The speaker advises men to remove any negative emotions from their communication with women to prevent conflict.

A discussion on the feminine nature of magnifying and reflecting emotions, and its implications in communication.

The advice for men to be mindful of their words, emotions, expressions, and thoughts to avoid negative communication.

The pragmatic approach of removing negative emotions from one's voice as being more effective than trying to change a woman's emotional response.

The idea that men can also provoke arguments by removing all emotions from their communication, leading to women feeling insecure.

The balance of removing negative emotions while maintaining a warm and engaging tone in communication with women.

The speaker's encouragement for listeners to share their experiences and thoughts in the comments section.

An invitation for listeners to like, subscribe, and consider becoming a channel member for additional perks.

The speaker's acknowledgment of the support from the audience and the importance of their contributions to the channel's growth.

A call to action for listeners to engage with the content by liking, subscribing, and potentially booking a paid consultation.

Transcripts

I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx

Better Living Through psychology and the

topic of today's short talk is how to

never fight with a

woman it has been many years since I

last fought with a woman gentleman and I

very much intend to keep it that way my

friends there is absolutely no point in

fighting with a woman for the simple

reason that you cannot win because of

the emotional nature of most women when

you lose you lose and when you win you

still lose when it comes to fighting

with a woman the only winning move is

not to play much like sunu counil

thousands of years ago the greatest

Victory is that which requires no battle

and this is a worthwhile goal because

let me tell you gentlemen my life has

been so much more peaceful so much more

loving and so much more enjoyable since

I figured out how to do this and I'm

here to share my secrets with you today

if I can do it you can do it too this

may go without saying but enjoying a

conflict free relationship with a woman

starts with appropriate selection at

this stage of my life I now believe that

90% of a successful relationship is

choosing the right person as I've

discussed previously you can't have any

relationship with anyone what does this

mean well in the context of this

discussion it means that you cannot have

a peaceful and easygoing relationship

with a woman who is disagreeable or

provocative or addicted to drama or

unable to regulate her own emotions Etc

it's just not possible and you may need

to examine yourselves just like I did to

determine why it is you may be actively

working to keep such women in your lives

now the bad news is that there are a lot

of such women out there especially when

we're talking about younger women

however the good news is that these

women tell on themselves all the time

they're actually pretty easy to identify

fairly early in the courtship process

and once you

do just stop pursuing her let that plate

fall as I've previously discussed dating

is an extended hiring process imagine

you were interviewing a woman for a job

who was difficult and argumentative in

the very first meeting a worthwhile

company with plenty of interested

applicants would have no problem wishing

her all the best with her search you

need to get comfortable doing the same

and the pathway to doing so is

cultivating optionality until you get to

this point gentlemen you're probably

thinking with the wrong head and you

will continue to suffer until you bring

that thought process a little higher so

a big part of the solution here is to

refrain from becoming emotionally

entangled L with a woman until you've

determined that she is someone with whom

you can have a peaceful conflict-free

relationship so let's assume you've

already done that like the wise high

value man that you are does this mean

that it's all smooth sailing not

necessarily however what I'd like you to

consider is that whether you fight with

a woman might have more to do with you

than you might realize just like women

can be disrespectful to men without

realizing it and as I've said it's their

responsibility to stay on the sunny side

of the unbreakable rule men can be

antagonistic without realizing it and

it's your responsibility to clarify your

tone when speaking with a woman I'm

using the word clarify in the sense of

clean up just like I've advised women to

remove every disrespectful word tone and

gesture from their communication with

men I'm advising you men to remove every

hint of annoyance or aggravation or

judgment or really any negative emotion

from your communication with women let

me

explain one way to think about women is

that they are incubators whatever you

give them they will magnify and

reflect magnify and reflect that's

feminine nature give them one tiny

little sperm

and 9 months later they will give you

back a whole human being to my knowledge

in every culture that has existed on

this planet the Moon is feminine and the

Sun is masculine and why is the Moon

bright she shines through the reflected

light of the Sun the quality of the

Moonlight is almost entirely determined

by the quality of the sunlight do you

understand if the sun gives off good

light then the sun is much more likely

to enjoy that good light when it is

reflected back at it of course this

isn't entirely up to the sun because the

Moon is always shifting through its

cycle but this is the sun's best

possible move the idea here is to remove

every word tone or gesture that could be

construed as judgmental condescending

contemptuous or Ang angry from your

communication with women why because if

you give a woman even a hint of

irritation she's going to magnify that

into aggravation and reflect it back at

you and if you give her aggravation in

return she's going to magnify that into

exasperation and reflect that back to

you and before you know it you're off to

the races in any case my point is that

the Genesis of the conflict can often be

traced back to some tiny little trace of

negative emotion in your tone of voice

now before I go any further if you're

liking what you're hearing please

consider sending this episode to someone

who might benefit from its message

because it's Word of Mouth referrals

like this that really help to make the

channel grow you can also hit the thanks

button and tip me in proportion to the

value you feel you've derived from this

episode I really depend on your support

I don't do a bunch of corporate

sponsorships or product placements so

this is how I keep the lights on I

really appreciate it the more I get the

more I can devote to the channel thank

you

now at this point you might be saying to

yourself this is

Orion does having some tiny little trace

of a negative emotion in my tone justify

a woman flying off the handle why does

she have to make such a big deal out of

something so small are you taking the

woman's side here to this I would

respond I hear you my dude for a long

long time I thought as you did and what

I have since real realized is that as

difficult as it is it's actually easier

to remove every trace of negative

emotion from my voice then it is to

convince a woman that her emotional

response is disproportionate to the

situation that just doesn't work and I'm

nothing if not a pragmatist I want what

works what is effective believing that

women shouldn't make a big deal out of

something so small is at odds with the

feminine principle of magnify and

reflect and when I accept that this

principle might be true a lot of

feminine Behavior makes sense which is a

pretty good test of a theory also I'm on

the side of peace and higher

understanding a lot of women have a

bunch of nonsense in their heads which

makes relationships with them difficult

if not impossible but that doesn't mean

that we men have perfect clarity either

clarifying our tone helps us take care

of our side of the street now removing

all traces of negativity from your tone

is actually pretty difficult it will

take some time to accomplish basically

because you have to learn to be

perpetually mindful mindful of your

words mindful of your emotions mindful

of your expressions and this ultimately

requires you to be mindful of your

thoughts as your thoughts are the

Upstream source of all the other

behaviors as you do this you will likely

to appreciate that you may be expressing

negativity especially

judgmentalism more often than you

imagine you may even have been doing it

unconsciously and unintentionally in any

case you will likely feel better in your

own subjectivity when you start to

clarify your thinking as well you're the

one who's actually in direct contact

with those negative emotions anyway

wouldn't you prefer not to feel annoyed

or aggravated or

judgmental so what does this mean does

this mean that you can never disagree

with a woman or correct her when she's

wrong or check her when she's out of

bounds absolutely not but might you need

to find ways to disagree correct or

check without expressing irritation

contempt or negative judgment

absolutely now the flip side of this is

that sometimes men can take this advice

too far paradoxically the other way that

men can unwittingly provoke arguments

with their women is by removing all the

emotion from their communication and

this is because removing all the emotion

from your voice can actually be pretty

scary to a woman it's like she can't

feel you there with her in that moment

and that will likely Spike her

insecurity which as I discussed in why

women pick fights is one of the primary

reasons women can be provocative

themselves

removing emotion from their voices is

actually a failing of intersex

understanding let me briefly explain

emotion is generally provocative I mean

one of its main uses is to motivate

emotion to create motion so when men

have a problem with other men and we're

not looking to escalate the situation

any further as a rule of thumb we're

going to take all the emotion out of our

voices we're GNA talk nice and slow and

we're going to be very calm and we're

going to resolve this issue with

rational

discussion you see what I did with my

tone of voice there men what you have to

understand is that women pay much more

attention to tone than we do if you take

all the emotion out of your voice what

does she

[Music]

hear

does that sound warm and loving does

that sound like you're on the same team

not really and that's going to provoke

her anxiety and insecurity because

suddenly she feels as though the basis

of the relationship is being threatened

and this in turn may lead to her

escalating the situation in a

counterproductive attempt to reassure

herself that you are still emotionally

invested in her so you want to remove

all hints of negative emotion from your

tone but you don't want to remove all

emotion entirely just listen to how I'm

talking now the goal is to imbue your

words with like an undifferentiated

warmth and let me tell you if you have

warmth in your voice and a little

twinkle in your eye you can say pretty

much anything you want to a woman and

she will listen to you without being

reactive ideally she'll even join with

you and you can laugh together at

whatever Ridiculousness she was on about

now so what do you think does this fit

with your own experience let me know in

the comments below and if you've gotten

this far you might as well like this

episode And subscribe to this channel

you may also consider becoming a channel

member with perks like the priority

review of comments or booking a paid

consultation as always thank you for

listening