How to Be the Most Trustworthy Person You Know! | Andrew Sykes | TEDxEvanston

Summary

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking talk, the speaker reflects on the importance of trust, responsible promises, and their impact on relationships and business. Through personal stories involving his son, Lex, and a major business failure, he emphasizes the need to ask, 'What else do you trust me to do?' to build deeper trust. The speaker challenges the audience to have responsible promise conversations with three people in their lives, ultimately encouraging self-reflection and personal growth. The key message is that trust is not only about keeping promises, but about respecting what others trust you to do.

Takeaways

• 😀 Trust is built through responsible promises, not just through keeping commitments, but by asking, 'What else do you trust me to do?'
• 😀 Being trustworthy involves doing what others trust you to do, even when they haven’t explicitly asked.
• 😀 A promise, once made, is not just a spoken word, but a responsibility to follow through with actions that honor the trust others place in you.
• 😀 Trust is easily broken, even by small actions like improper manners, as demonstrated in the speaker's story with his first business deal.
• 😀 The responsible promise habit is a strategy for becoming the most trustworthy person in your life by actively engaging in clear and honest expectation-setting.
• 😀 The key to trust in business and personal relationships lies in not just fulfilling what was promised, but in anticipating and meeting unspoken expectations.
• 😀 Trust is built slowly and can be lost in an instant, emphasizing the need to value and nurture it over time.
• 😀 The speaker shares a personal story with his son Lex, where a small mistake in judgment leads to a powerful lesson about dignity and trust.
• 😀 Asking 'What else do you trust me to do?' is a powerful tool to ensure promises align with expectations, making both parties feel valued and respected.
• 😀 The speaker challenges the audience to engage in responsible promise conversations with people they trust, which could help transform their relationships and personal growth.

Q & A

What lesson does the speaker learn from the trip with his son Lex?

The speaker learns that keeping promises is important, but fulfilling what the other person truly needs is even more crucial. The speaker realizes that his son, despite keeping his word, felt neglected because his dignity wasn’t restored in the moment he needed it most.

What is the main theme of the talk?

The main theme is the concept of the 'responsible promise,' where the speaker emphasizes not only keeping promises but also ensuring they align with what others trust you to do. This habit fosters trust and strengthens relationships.

Why does the speaker mention the story of Hector Peterson?

The speaker mentions Hector Peterson to reflect on the impact of trust and responsibility in a larger context. He draws inspiration from Hector, a symbol of resistance against apartheid, to show how we can make responsible promises to stand against societal injustices.

What does the speaker mean by 'responsible promises'?

'Responsible promises' are those that go beyond just making a commitment—they involve asking what else others trust you to do and ensuring you meet those unspoken expectations, even if they haven't explicitly told you.

How does the speaker relate trust to personal and business success?

The speaker explains that trust is fundamental in both personal and business relationships. While keeping promises is important, being trustworthy involves understanding and fulfilling what others expect of you, which can lead to personal and professional growth.

What mistake did the speaker make during his first major business deal, and what did he learn from it?

The speaker made the mistake of using bad manners during a presentation, addressing the board as 'you guys.' Despite delivering an excellent pitch, this small act of disrespect caused him to lose the deal. He learned that trust is not just about keeping promises but also about maintaining respect and professionalism in all interactions.

How does the speaker suggest we can improve our trustworthiness?

The speaker suggests adopting the 'responsible promise habit,' which involves asking others what they trust you to do and then ensuring your promises align with those expectations. This habit helps you become the most trustworthy person you know.

What is the significance of the speaker’s challenge to have three responsible promise conversations?

The challenge to have three responsible promise conversations encourages individuals to actively engage with others and reflect on how they can meet or exceed expectations. It fosters deeper connections and helps individuals grow in their ability to build trust.

Why does the speaker ask, 'What else do you trust me to do?'

The speaker asks this question to encourage individuals to go beyond just fulfilling explicit promises and to consider the broader, unspoken expectations that others might have. This helps build deeper trust and understanding in relationships.

What role does the speaker’s mother play in his story?

The speaker’s mother, Adele, is an example of someone who loved him unconditionally and always saw greatness in him. Her perspective is pivotal in the speaker's self-reflection, inspiring him to pursue his aspirations and helping him realize the importance of nurturing trust and connection in his life.